Terminalcoffee discussion
General Fuckery
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jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium
#867"You WILL watch this ENTIRE episode of Real Housewives or you will never see your family again!"
Phil wrote: "#867"You WILL watch this ENTIRE episode of Real Housewives or you will never see your family again!""
Is that what your wife says to you?
Phil wrote: "#867"You WILL watch this ENTIRE episode of Real Housewives or you will never see your family again!""
That's the strangest Clockwork Orange update I've ever read.
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Gregory Crewdson
#875 As the family settled in to watch The Lawrence Welk Show, Darren snuck out to the patio to harvest his personal stash of medicinal herbs.
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Thomas Kinkade
#875Returning from his evening constitutional and nightly piss from the porch, Anthony wondered if "Carbon Monoxide Melody" had really been the best choice for the Scentsy that night.
#878Painter of light my ass. This guy really sucks!
Oh, wait, that's not a caption, just commentary.
Nevermind.
Thomas Kincade is pretty unbelievable. This my favorite awful Kincade painting--apparently it tells the entire story of Pinocchio in a single scene:
Thomas Kincade
Mmmmmmmm?I'm finding that hard to interpret.
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You and Sally live rather far apart for that. Also, you're a lobster.
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That clarifies matters considerably.
#878: In the valley of the improbable Doric gazebo, where rainbow sherbet grows on trees, a winding path leads through a half-open gate to the faraway land where the wee people live, chained to radiators in a sweatshop where they are forced to turn out Thomas Kincade paintings, 14 hours per day, surviving on a diet of thin gruel and canned sardines.
(Jonathan, that is one of the best captions. Ever. I am so sick of Thomas Kincade. He was a running joke between most of the painting students when I was in school.)
He's a strange character and somewhat unpleasant. The LA Times once reported on "incidents in which an allegedly drunken Kinkade heckled illusionists Siegfried and Roy; cursed a former employee's wife who came to his side when he fell off a barstool; fondled a startled woman's breasts at a signing party; and urinated on a Winnie the Pooh figure at the Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim."http://articles.latimes.com/2006/mar/...
He's a creeper and he thinks entirely too highly of himself. Having your own line of pop-up greeting cards does not make you a valid artist.
Amber wrote: "Having your own line of pop-up greeting cards does not make you a valid artist."Well hasn't that been the standard for centuries?
Only since money decided which art was valid. So, yeah, pretty much forever.
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Quentin Massys
The pickpocket was disappointed to learn that her only earnings from letting the mark grope her breast were two crowns, a ha'penny and a ticket stub from Marlowe's Tamburlaine.
"Hey Doll, howzabout you give me back that wallet and I'll let you keep the nipple I'm about to rip off your tit?"
One highbrow, one lowbrow. Pick your poison.
Thanksgiving was always an awkward occasion when Uncle Joe had a few drinks in him.
Joe always seemed like such a nice fellow.
Norman Rockwell
#903 Everyone was excited about the meal until little Cindy asked the dreaded question, "Has anyone seen my pet turkey, Flaubert?"
Sarah Pi wrote: "#903 Everyone was excited about the meal until little Cindy asked the dreaded question, "Has anyone seen my pet turkey, Flaubert?""I was thinkig about doing something along the same line, but you nailed it. All I have to add now: http://youtu.be/KNXYTbEzmVQ
Can't check that right now, but if it's Sarah Palin talking while the turkey gets beheaded in the background, you get a gold star.
Nope. The sad tale of an unfortunate Dutch bunny. Macabre twist at the end.
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Joshua Reynolds
#909 Cindy learned early in life to conceal her parasitic twin in the folds of her dress.
Isabelle's success as a shoplifter was often attributed to her marsupial heritage, though her family was wont to deny it.
Once she disrobed, it became clear that the bulge was just her pet swan.
Karen Knorr
From the paintings on the wall to the stuffed swan on the floor, Sylvia was certain every eye in the room was following her. Her true dread, though, came from knowing that the neighbor children playing outside had just seen her naked as she crossed in front of the parlor window.
Zeus soon came to the realization that modern girls weren't quite as into swans as they had been when he was younger.
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Even in college, the 4th Duke of Argyll was known for his louche behavior and taste in haberdashery.
J. C. Leyendecker
#917 Few people know that Stephen Fry did sock ads before he hit it big in comedy.
#913 "Duck!" shouted Quentin. Marisol dropped to the floor and waited for the rock or the bomb or whatever he had seen to come flying through the window."Just joking," said Quentin, leaving the room. "It's only my pet goose, Archibald."
#917With his studied air of nonchalance, the Duke was a shoe-in for club membership. He just hoped no one realized the book he was so deeply absorbed in was blank.
Terminalcoffee
Books mentioned in this topic
Tiger Flower (other topics)The Sound and the Furry (other topics)
How to Roll a Blunt for Dummies! (other topics)
Fabric of Vision : Dress and Drapery in Painting (other topics)
Seeing Through Clothes (other topics)
They told her the make-up artist was a professional, but Mary Anne worried about the mascara technique all the same. Something about having the artist standing behind her felt a little off...