jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium Showing 651-700 of 1,615

[Janice]

I wasn't sure what that was. I thought perhaps it was a mosquito.

[Janice]

Ha! Fooled ya!

[Sarah]

Not Canada?

[Phil]

Janice wrote: "Oh! That's a face!!! All I could see was a big white erection."

I missed the face and the erection. I saw Sailor Moon hang gliding, with liquid flames of orange falling from the sky.

Sailor Moon is the eye on the face.

[Phil]

#762 - Apollo just knew that if he held his breath until he turned blue, Zeus would finally consent and let him lead this year's Olympus Pride Parade.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

And the parade began.



(detail) - Harvey Dinnerstein

[Phil]

Best. Bachelor. Party. EVER!

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

A bachelor, but not one at a party.



Ron Mueck

[Jammies]

Frederick resolved that the audition to be a Campbell's Kid would be his last, and if his mother disagreed, he would do something drastic!

[Phil]

Gustav, having worn them for years, tried again to convince his mother that his underwear were now much too small for him.

[Jonathan]

But it's exactly what all the cool kids are wearing to the beach this year...



Paul Cézanne

[Sarah]

#778 Henri's embarrassment over his third nipple and second navel forced him to swim alone at dawn and shun the midday beach crowds.

[Jonathan]

It's so true, Sarah. And many people think that because Henri has sharp elbows, he isn't sensitive that way...

[Sarah]

His left elbow is so sharp it bruised the air.

[~Geektastic~]

#778 Due to another uneven application of sunscreen, Henri was going to have some difficulty using his hands for the next week or two.

[Jonathan]

Yup, the sky is black and blue. And green in some spots.

[Sarah]

Amber wrote: "#778 Due to another uneven application of sunscreen, Henri was going to have some difficulty using his hands for the next week or two."

Ow!

[Sarah]

Jonathan wrote: "Yup, the sky is black and blue. And green in some spots."

I think that's gangrene. Very unfortunate.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Tamara, fortunately, proved to be gangrene-free. Whether she had a second navel, who can say?



Giorgione

[[deleted user]]

"You said you would show me yours if I showed you mine."

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Ha!

[Phil]

Unfortunately, hiding behind the ficus did not fully conceal Elizabeth's embarrassing wardrobe malfunction.

[Kevin]

#786 - Trixie was the stare contest champion, usually owing to questionable tactics like displaying her breasts.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

She beat out Olaf, the undisputed champion for three years running.

[image error]

Oldrich Kulhanek

[Phil]

Halfway through the journey and having been forced to rip the envelope open far enough to see and breathe, Olaf realized trying to send himself overseas via parcel post was not really such a good idea.

[Janice]

The Unknown Comic acquiesced to his fans and exposed a piece of himself.

[~Geektastic~]

Timmy had tried hard to be good this year, but Santa was obviously not pleased.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

So he continued in a dinghy.



Winslow Homer

[Phil]

"Hello..!??     Hello!!??...     Anyone have a match and some firewood so I can cook this damn thing?"

[Phil]

Having secured some food for the tiger, Pi now wondered where the stupid cat went.

[~Geektastic~]

The crew finally realized that the tales of Moby Dick had been greatly exaggerated. Once the great white...fish had been caught, they threw Ahab and his quarry into a lifeboat and set them adrift to work out their differences.

[Sarah]

Ooh! Two literary captions! Nicely done.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

In a matter of just a few short weeks, they were back ashore.



Jan van Kessel

[Jonathan]

#801 Even with SPF 50, the Flounder family could stay only an hour on the beach in the bright sun of Torquay.

[[deleted user]]

Haha I was thinking along those lines Jonathan. I just couldn't quite get my caption to work.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Ha!

[Kevin]

#801 - Eventually the seas got so polluted even the fish couldn't take it.

[Jonathan]

The fish might have enjoyed the day a bit more if the beach weren't so crowded with frolicking tourists.



Peter Paul Rubens

[Phil]

First day on the new job, Dionysus realized he was going to love hanging out in the teachers' lounge.

[janine]

The tiger waited patiently for the others to leave so he could eat the other half of his prey.

[Jonathan]

Hah. Sharp eyes, Janine. I hadn't noticed her missing right forearm.

[janine]

I hadn't seen that, I was referring to the torso in the water. The tiger's been busy.

[~Geektastic~]

#806

Tony kept blowing the magic conch, but Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy were nowhere to be seen. He would have to teach the older man hitting on his wife a lesson all by himself. Now if only he could swim in more than a foot of water.

[~Geektastic~]

janine wrote: "I hadn't seen that, I was referring to the torso in the water. The tiger's been busy."

(For someone who painted so much flesh, PPR sure had some issues with missing body parts)

[janine]

It's the earliest known case of photoshopping gone wrong.

[Sarah]

Ha!

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

They were able to locate some body parts, but sadly the right forearm seemed gone for good.



René Magritte

[Jonathan]

An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

[Janice]

Merle wasn't convinced that she needed to go into the magician's box nude. She should at least have a hanky to wave when he was finished sawing her parts.

[Kevin]

815 - Only being able to afford a couple of the framed pictures Chester told the clerk "I'll take number two and number three." He thought he could hang them in the boudoir.