jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium Showing 51-100 of 1,615

[Jonathan]

Ahhahahah! Very good. Now let's see what you do with the 16th century. Riddle me this, Mr. Sprinkle:



Jan Gossaert

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

I kind of like the way that wooden platform looks like it was put together at Home Depot, yesterday. What's it for, anyway?

[Kevin]

#51 (take your choice)

a) zumba class was never the same after andy started coming

b) it was a lot harder to concentrate on learning the self defense moves after Maartje suggested naked judo

[Lori]

ROFL! Thank you Kevin for giving me wonderful giggles!

[Jonathan]

Lobstergirl wrote: "I kind of like the way that wooden platform looks like it was put together at Home Depot, yesterday. What's it for, anyway?"

I may be mistaken, but I think the platform serves no practical purpose and was introduced by Metsu for compositional reasons. He was an interesting artist, but he often did strange and slightly awkward things like that--introducing functionless objects into scenes for the sake of balance.

[Jonathan]

Zumba, you say! Let's try something with a French accent:



Edgar Degas

[Kevin]

#56 - chilling in the green room, the band Archimede waited semi patiently for the bass player Degas who again was somewhere working over some tart before the big show

[Jonathan]

You're right. Degas had a notorious sweet tooth and couldn't resist dessert. Continuing on the theme of food and drink...



Jacques-Louis David

[Kevin]

#58 - as Jimmy the waiter brought yet another mai tai to the drunken reunion party (Argos High - class of 21) he noticed that Dyricules's right testicle was showing clearly beneath his blue letterman toga with his leg hiked up like that.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Really adds a new perspective to it, Kevin. I never saw it that way before.

[Jonathan]

Kevin is rewriting the textbooks of art history and will undoubtedly give future students many valuable new insights to contemplate. For instance when he describes this image from 1928:



René Magritte

[Stacia (the 2010 club)]

I think the guy has nothing under that leaf in msg 51.

[janine]

Lyzzibug ~Dweeb Here~ wrote: "Kevin never fails to put a smile on my face."

TWSS

[janine]

Jonathan wrote: "janine wrote: "one more question: what's the best way to look for a painting's whereabouts? i'm assuming there's a more sophisticated way to do it than just using google."

Using the internet, the ..."

i've tried using the databases and it took a while to learn to navigate it, but i have managed to locate some more paintings. is it true you can order hi-res images from the bildarchiv foto marburch? are they any good? we'll be printing in b/w as far as i know so that's no problem (and from what i've seen they're fairly cheap).

[Jonathan]

I've gotten photographs from them in the past, but that was years ago. They may be able to provide digital files now. For paintings that are in a museum collection, they will probably refer you to the museum rather than provide the image themselves, or at least that used to be their policy. I don't really know how their rates compare to other places (also bear in mind that there may be a separate fee for reproduction rights over and above the cost of the photograph) but my overall experience with them was good.

[RandomAnthony]

a) zumba class was never the same after andy started coming

Spits tea in joy

[Jonathan]

Stacia ~ bite is worse than her bark wrote: "I think the guy has nothing under that leaf in msg 51."

There's a reason for that. The figure wearing the garland of leaves is Hermaphroditus, so there's no knowing exactly what would be underneath. The female figure attacking him is the wicked nymph Salmacis, by the way.

Gossaert often did pictures on somewhat racy themes. His patron, Philip the Bastard (one of the many illegitimate children of the Duke of Burgundy) had unusual tastes.

Another Gossaert, "Hercules and Deianira" (1517), which Kevin should feel free to caption if he likes:

[ms.petra]

Kevin, you are a HOOT!
Also, our TC calendar could use some leaf thongs.....

[janine]

Jonathan wrote: "I've gotten photographs from them in the past, but that was years ago. They may be able to provide digital files now. For paintings that are in a museum collection, they will probably refer you to ..."

thank you.

[Rachel]

If Kevin taught art class, I'd ditch everything to sit in. XD

[Sarah]

We should really start a tumblr. I don't know how, but I think that's what people to do when they have something going that's as entertaining as this.

[Félix]

I agree.

[Kevin]

#61 - despite taking the pregnancy risk down to less than .0001% body condoms never really caught on. perhaps it had to do with correct sizing issues

[Kevin]

#69 - As soon as Deianira got naked Hercules again realized the subliminal closing value of his walking stick/phallic symbol.

[Sarah]

chocolate malt ball hat! love it!

[Jonathan]

Walk softly, carry a big stick, and when all else fails, wear chocolate. There's a lot of wisdom here--truly words to live by.

Back to the Dutch Golden Age:



Gerrit Dou

[Kevin]

#79 - when gold got to $1500 an ounce Egbert decided he would go ahead and get the iPad 2 despite not having 3G

[Jonathan]

Hmmmm. Fancy costumes and games of chance, anyone?



Georges de la Tour

[Kevin]

#82 - having the servant wench sitting in as a fourth for the euchre game really took the bourgeois feel out of the game but Babs insisted. They would of course have to throw out the cards afterward and have her sold but the game would go on.

[janine]

Sarah Pi wrote: "We should really start a tumblr. I don't know how, but I think that's what people to do when they have something going that's as entertaining as this."

kevinscaptions.tumblr.com

[Kevin]

ha! thanks janine. i will contribute however i can.

[Jonathan]

That looks great, Janine. How does it work?



Grant Wood

[janine]

i'm not sure how it works exactly, but it's somewhat similar to a blog.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Wood is so delightful.

[Sally, la reina]

This is the best thread in the universe.

[Phil]

Lobstergirl wrote: "Wood is so delightful."

TWSS?

[Kevin]

#87 - "yes i know dear that is my son with the hatchet but that is YOUR son wearing those blue tights out in public"

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Parson Weems looks so much like the actor who played Inspector Lynley on Masterpiece Mystery (Nathaniel Parker).

[Félix]

Okay I'm following Kevin's captions now on tumblr..

[Jonathan]

It's true: put a white wig on him, and he could be the parson. Did you ever get around to the Evans book on Grant Wood, LG?

I don't know if Kevin wants to caption the Inspector Lynley photo, but next up for fine art:



Edward Hopper

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Jonathan wrote: "It's true: put a white wig on him, and he could be the parson. Did you ever get around to the Evans book on Grant Wood, LG?"

Not yet, I have to be in the right mood. Also I feel like maybe the books that have been on my to-read list for a decade should get priority. But who knows. There's no real order or logic to it.

[Jonathan]

It'll keep. Worth reading whenever you get to it.

[Kevin]

#95 - so this girl I was dating said she wanted to dress up like a schoolgirl and do it on a desk. i'm like "shoot, i'll turn the whole place into a classroom..."

[Sally, la reina]

!!!

[Rachel]

Hahahaha!

[ms.petra]

:D

[Jonathan]

Kevin is in rare form.

Feeling like dancing today:



Pablo Picasso

[Phil]

You put your right boob out,
You keep your left boob in,
You put your right boob out,
And you wear a silly grin.

You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around,
That's what it's all about!

[Jonathan]

Hah! You've discovered Picasso's secret.

But the people below do not look amused:

[image error]

Thomas Gainsborough

[Félix]

James stands guarding the next generation as Hester sits on the eggs in the garden.