jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium Showing 851-900 of 1,615

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

One can understand the impulse.

[Phil]

#973

While the winged valet fetched her carriage, Romella reflected that perhaps she had overdone the garlic on her pasta that evening. Dogmatix, though, had no such qualms, having satisfied his voracious appetite and now looking forward to his evening stroll.

[Cyril]

#973 While examining the dog poo she would have to clean up, Donatella completely missed the angel flying by.

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "Dogmatix, though, had no such qualms, having satisfied his voracious appetite and now looking forward to his evening stroll."

And away they went...



Giacomo Balla

[Sarah]

#980 Donatella never gave the dog uppers unless she was taking them herself.

[Phil]

Crossing a dog with a spider and a scorpion was a tricky business, and Dr. Mr. Cynthia, Esq. had yet to iron out the final details. Sure, the legs were all there, but the tail, though showing some progress, refused to cooperate fully.

[janine]

I think she accidentally mixed in some centipede DNA.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Dr.Mr. had had better luck breeding dogs with Gene Simmons.

[image error]

Otto Dix

[Phil]

Just prior to the fatal accident, Michael Spurnik's guide dog was preparing to help him across the busy


SQUIRREL!!!

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Oh NOOOO!!!!

[Sarah]

Ahhhhhhhhhaahahahaha!

[Jonathan]

Was it a squirrel that he saw--or some birds?



Pieter Bruegel

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

As the Wuustwezel Youth Hockey team practiced on the ice below, Adelheid and Radburgis sifted through the winter corn, picking out the dog turds that would be flattened, dried, and shaped into pucks.

[Jonathan]

Wuustwezel is just over the border from Groot Zundert, where Vincent van Gogh grew up. A very nice bucolic area, and it seems like it would be a pleasant place to visit, despite their apparently unconventional approach to the sport of hockey.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

It looks so charming in the painting, too.

[Jonathan]

Not many hills in that area, though, certainly not like the dramatic ones in the background. The illustrator is taking liberties with the text again.

[Phil]

Coming upon Whoville from the north, the Huns saw the Whos collecting on the square, with nary an ornament or tassel in sight, and realized that, once again, the strange little green man known only as "Grinch" had beaten them to the winter looting they had so carefully planned.

[Jonathan]

Hah! The Huns Who Terrorized Whoville.

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "...the strange little green man known only as "Grinch" had beaten them to the winter looting they had so carefully planned."

But since they were already there, they decided to pillage whatever the Grinch might have missed.



Tintoretto

[Phil]

As always, the referee seemed to be blind to the fact that while he was getting to a two-count, Herodiclus had illegally launched himself from the top rope for the match-ending Frog Splash.

[Jonathan]

The trouble began with a dispute over calisthenics.



Edgar Degas

[janine]

The girls may not wear pants, but they certainly know how to tell the guys who's in charge.

Or:

't Is stil aan de overkant!

[Jonathan]

They are a bit bossy, I suppose.

En wat betreft de stilte aan de overkant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BX05t...

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Pants were in short supply everywhere that day.



John Currin

[Jonathan]

That's a great image, LG--part Norman Rockwell, part Tom of Finland. I'll work on a caption.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

I know, isn't it totally Rockwellesque? Everything about it. I'm seeing less of Finland, but you know him better than I do.

[Jonathan]

Mostly in the reflection. Maybe I'm seeing it wrong, but it seems like the reflected image has a Village People aesthetic to it (are those biker sunglasses?), whereas the man standing in front of the mirror just looks like a Rockwell character in someone else's shorts.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Yes, I did wonder what was going on with the reflection.

[Janice]

When the power came back on, Joe and Buck were pleasantly surprised with the mixing and matching of their suits and socks, and decided to go out like that.

[Phil]

The bachelor auction was still hours away, but even now Mortimer could barely contain himself. He was confident he cut quite the dashing figure, even if mommy wouldn't let him wear long pants yet.

[Jonathan]

Janice wrote: "Joe and Buck were pleasantly surprised with the mixing and matching of their suits and socks..."

Excellent, Janice!

Phil wrote: "He was confident he cut quite the dashing figure, even if mommy wouldn't let him wear long pants yet.

Mom was strict about attire--never went anywhere without a bonnet.



James Tissot

[Phil]

The date started well, with flowers and a peaceful row on the lake, but came to an unsatisfying conclusion when Stephen dove under the blanket to better appreciate the aromatic qualities of his own flatus. Valerie vowed to never again go on a "set-up" date.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Rufus had rowed Melinda to the far end of the lake, where she remained with her back to him, obviously hoping to be captured by the plein air painters setting up their easels. He'd give them something to paint, all right...the tiny pearl buttons down the back of her dress would give way quickly under his strong jaws.

[Jonathan]

And yet, through it all, she still kept her bonnet on.



Philip Wilson Steer

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Alicia finished disembowelling Roger and waited for her mother in law to return from the botanic gardens. Their words rang in her ears. "Alicia's pretty, but a bit dull, don't you think? I think you can do better, darling." "Perhaps you're right, mother. I don't want to be facing her across the breakfast table with nothing to say in 20 years." Well, she'd relieved him of that awful fate, now.

[Jonathan]

Yes, of course. It all seems so obvious now that you've explained it, LG. But it might take me a few moments to find a segue image on the theme of disembowelment.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

(Botticelli.)

[Jonathan]

There's "The Return of Judith," but that's more to do with beheading, I guess. Which Botticelli did you have in mind?

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

http://www.museodelprado.es/en/the-co...

[Jonathan]

Okay.



Sandro Botticelli

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Domenico didn't trust the banks. His lawyers were shifty, his servants unreliable. He needed a secure location for his gold doubloons, and in times of economic tumult, you had to think outside the box.

[Jonathan]

Hah. You had that one ready and waiting, eh?

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

No!

[smetchie]

Sally wrote: "KEVIN! LOLLER FUCKING COASTER! Please let this thread continue to illuminate my heart for the rest of time."

Best post ever.

[Jonathan]

Hide your doubloons where you will, LG, you can't take them with you:



Hieronymus Bosch

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

"It's Lola's tax refund," squeaked Murgatroyd. "She never cashed it."

"Give that here," whispered Friar Geithner. "We need every penny."

[Jonathan]

He does look a bit like Tim G.

[smetchie]

Lobstergirl wrote: "Domenico didn't trust the banks. His lawyers were shifty, his servants unreliable. He needed a secure location for his gold doubloons, and in times of economic tumult, you had to think outside th..."

HAHAHAHAHAH!

I can't believe I never poked my head in here before.

[Janice]

#1021 - Sister Mary Martha Magdeleine, although having lived a pious life, was easily seduced by the tall thin boney man.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

They began to spend lots of time together, but sometimes he could be a drag. There were days when he wouldn't stop singing in a Bee Gees falsetto and she had to wire his jaw shut. Also he tired quickly.



Marina Abramovic