jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium Showing 701-750 of 1,615

[Jonathan]

There was only one person who could possibly put all the pieces back together again. But she was a mysterious figure, and it seemed unlikely anyone could locate her in time...



Richard Prince

[Sarah]

The questions remained: why did a dude ranch need a nurse, why didn't she ever take off her surgical mask, and how did she get her uniform to glow like a neon sign?

[Phil]

Six years at Chernobyl Nursing School had prepared Liz for nearly any eventuality.

[Jonathan]

Hah!

[~Geektastic~]

#821

The Dude Ranch Nursing Academy was apparently too cheap to buy lead vests for the x-ray room staff.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Liz's husband had barely escaped Chernobyl himself.

[image error]

George Condo

[Jonathan]

Jack was about to take first prize in the Shriners' annual touch-the-tip-of-your-nose-with-your-chin-while-holding-a-marble-cocked-in-your-right-eye-socket competition when the judges disqualified him for using his hat strap as illegal leverage.

[Sarah]

#825 Few people know that George Condo stole inspiration from Mad Magazine's Don Martin on a regular basis.

[Jonathan]

Sarah Pi wrote: "#825 Few people know that George Condo stole inspiration from Mad Magazine's Don Martin on a regular basis."



Don Martin

[Sarah]

#827 "You want me to put this mast WHERE?"

[Jonathan]

Ouch.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Widgery thought he had done a good job securing the mast, but a stiff breeze suggested otherwise.



Andries van Eertvelt

[Phil]

Dadgummit, Maude. Every year it's the same dang thing; you book the cheapest cruise you can find on that ding-dang interweb site and we end up ass-over-teakettle fighting for a seat! Next year Im'a goin' ta disneyworld!

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "Dadgummit, Maude. Every year it's the same dang thing; you book the cheapest cruise you can find on that ding-dang interweb site..."

Could have been worse:



Théodore Géricault

[Sarah]

#833 And that was first class! You should see steerage.

[Jonathan]

Good one, Sarah.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Left behind at the pier in all the confusion was little Trixie.



Fernand Khnopff

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

Hey! I own a poster of that painting!

[image error]

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Cool! It goes well with your decor/color scheme, too.

But I'm finding I can't take my eyes off that tv screen.

[Jonathan]

Jackie "the Librarian" wrote: "Hey! I own a poster of that painting!"

Neat coincidence, Jackie. What's on the TV?

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

That's Finding Nemo, LG and Jonathan. Excellent movie!

[Jonathan]

Of course. I should have recognized the fish, Jackie.

[Janice]

My eyes go straight to the quilt.

[Félix]

Light the fireplace for us, Jackie.

[Jonathan]

#836 Little Trixie had such good manners--no one expected her to make off with a pound of Turkish delight, 18 marshmallows, a carton of Lucky Strikes, 2 boxes of firecrackers, and a sterling silver cow creamer hidden under her bonnet.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Dabney tried to make his remaining Lucky Strike last all afternoon, but he was more worried about the creamer, which contained his stash of ecstasy.



William Merritt Chase

[Jonathan]

Wait a minute, LG. Are you trying to tell me that little Trixie is in that hammock beside the white-clad bounder in spats? It's scandalous...

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Little Trixie aged quickly that afternoon, in the sun-dappled yard.

[Jonathan]

Hmmph.

[Jonathan]

#845 Whilst Roderick and Melinda enjoyed a languorous afternoon of tea and reading in the shade of the Linden trees, Fiona, the secretive housemaid, removed the dead body from the house in an over-sized pickle barrel.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Then she stood watch as Lennox carried it through the cloisters.



Dora Maar

[Jonathan]

Yikes!

[[deleted user]]

Yikes but funny! :)

[Sarah]

Jonathan wrote: "#845 Whilst Roderick and Melinda enjoyed a languorous afternoon of tea and reading in the shade of the Linden trees, Fiona, the secretive housemaid, removed the dead body from the house in an over-..."

AHahaahahaha!

[Sarah]

#850 Nicolas accidentally went overboard when Demetrios asked him to crack his back.

[~Geektastic~]

Demetrios thought he had back problems.


[image error]

Frida Kahlo

[Sarah]

#855 Frida was remarkably patient in putting up with Diego's flirtation with amateur acupuncture.

[Jonathan]

#855 After a few rounds of acupuncture and bondage, do-it-yourself spinal surgery seemed like a logical next step.

[Phil]

Not understanding English idioms, Juan translated literally when Susan breathlessly whispered, "I want you to nail me, stud."

[Jonathan]

If I had a hammer,
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening,
All over this land....

Gustave Courbet

[Phil]

Having seen "American Pie" more than thirty times, young Horatio thought perhaps Rock Pie would be an adequate substitute.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Kyle and Jaden would need to pick up the pace in order to have enough ammunition for a 3 p.m. stoning. They half hoped Governor Perry would issue a stay.

[~Geektastic~]

In the midst of their rock collecting, the boys were asked for directions by a very unusual passerby.

[image error]

Takashi Murakami (most recent exhibition at the Gagosian)

[Janice]

Thanks for the laugh Amber.

[Jonathan]

"私はこの方法を着た外出を許可されていないのですか？"彼女は彼女の両親に尋ねた。

["Am I not allowed to go out dressed this way?" she asked her parents shyly.]

[~Geektastic~]

The world's introduction to the Boob Belt Deluxe. When a bra just isn't enough.

[~Geektastic~]

The doctor told her that she was lucky to escape with some minor damage to her right cornea. Another attempt at the trampoline could result in dire consequences.

[Jonathan]

Amber wrote: "The doctor told her that she was lucky to escape with some minor damage to her left cornea..."



Luis Buñuel

[~Geektastic~]

Jonathan wrote: "Amber wrote: "The doctor told her that she was lucky to escape with some minor damage to her left cornea..."



Luis Buñuel"

(I've always hated that scene! Ick.)

[Jonathan]

Now is your opportunity to alter the script.