jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium Showing 901-950 of 1,615

[Cyril]

Too late the doctors scheduled the surgery to separate the siamese twins.

[Sarah]

#1028 Chester kept asking Martha for piggy back rides long after the novelty should have worn off.

[~Geektastic~]

Chester could be a hassle, there was no denying it. But judging by the neighbors, things could always be worse.



Gustave Moreau

[Sarah]

#1029 Marco had read that vampires and werewolves were out, so he thought he could make his sphinx-dryad paranormal romance a hit. Just in case, he included a zombie. Zombies never go out of style.

[Janice]

He thought she was an angel, but she was a griffin in disguise.

[Phil]

She had points of her own, sitting way up high; way up firm and high.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Zombies never go out of style, and neither do their adorable scoop necked white dresses with black piping.



Cui Xiuwen

[Jonathan]

#1033: The Dance of the Thousand Splendid Mini-Dresses was a crowd favorite again this year at the Miss Teen Beijing competition.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Whereas over at Cuxtahauchie High, Agnes and Minnie had some issues to work out before they took the field.



Erwin Olaf

[Jonathan]

They do look a bit pouty, LG. The one in front reminds me of a young Helga Testorf. And the one in the background reminds me of someone I knew in college. Definitely seems like a strained relationship between the two of them.

[Phil]

When Frances invited Minerva over to ride her horse, poor Minnie had no idea her friend meant that of the pommel variety.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Minnie reminds me of someone I know now.

[Sarah]

#1035 Dottie and Frances' relationship was never the same after the day Dottie accidentally wore the wrong socks to cheerleading practice.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Because so often when Minnie hung out with a friend, it involved a real horse, and never the wrong socks.



Ma Gang

[Jonathan]

#1040: With the advent of the Guangzhou Riding Academy's dressage class for nude department store mannequins, the People's Republic had truly arrived on the world stage.

[Phil]

"Damn it," whinnied Sultan. "Why did I have to be a gelding?!"

[Janice]

#1040: The producers of Robaxacet realized their advertising wasn't working with clothed wooden figures. Their latest campaign features nude figures obviously healed enough to ride a horse. Will it sell?

[Sarah]

I can't caption this one because I'm too busy ogling the horse. She's very pretty and well put together, but her bridle isn't fitted properly.

[Jonathan]

Yes, a very nice horse, and luckily she isn't as weighed down as the one in the left foreground, below.



Jean Louis Meissonier

[Jammies]

"Could I ride away with Enrique's blanqui while he snaps his fingers at Francois?" wondered Maximilien.

"Non," muttered Marcel. "That Jean looks like a fop, but he can actually throw his big saber and decapitate a man. No blanqui is worth the risk."

[Jonathan]

That blanqui is tempting, though :)

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

While Burgess and Antoine played rock paper scissors to determine which route to take to the front, Gaston warmed his frigid buttocks before the leaping flames. No one could know that the flammability of his farts, due to the rarest of genetic anomalies, would start a conflagration that would burn a million square miles of Europe, rage for a decade, and change history forever.

[Jonathan]

The flames spread from town to town.



Egbert van der Poel

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Long before there was Mrs. O'Leary's cow, Pastor Kuyper's pet squirrel Patches, up atop the Kerk smoking a joint, would start a fire that would char most of Western Europe. Ironically, Patches was the only survivor, paddling to the English coast in a corn husk, weeping and vowing that if God would let him live, he would reform his evil ways. Today we know him as the author of the divinely inspired The Gospel According to Patches and How to Roll a Blunt for Dummies!

[Jonathan]

Unaware that Marcel had stashed the magic blanqui in the atelier, Max pondered his latest painting and gave serious thought to acquiring a somewhat less cumbersome mahlstick.



Georg Friedrich Kersting

[Phil]

While he should have been working, Max was busy in the atelier staring at the new big-screen canvas that had been delivered just that day.

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "While he should have been working, Max was busy in the atelier staring at the new big-screen canvas that had been delivered just that day."

Turned out that Max was allergic to the new canvas. It gave him double vision and a case of the sniffles.



Andy Warhol

[Sarah]

#1055 Mental health professionals were fascinated by the case of Andy W., who had fallen for his grandfather's "got your nose" trick at the age of four and never recovered. Tragically, Andy's grandfather had died before he could make the motion in which he put the young boy's nose back. Andy went through life convinced that he did not actually have a nose, and disguising his perceived disfigurement with tissues and masks. To this date it is the most acute recorded case of nasal dysmorphia.

[~Geektastic~]

Awesome Sarah, love it.

[Jonathan]

So tragic!

[Jonathan]

Apparently grandpa had quite a honker himself.



Domenico Ghirlandaio

[~Geektastic~]

1059

While the genetic legacy frightened her a little, Johnnie's mother couldn't deny the hypnotic powers of grandpa's nose. He certainly didn't have as many tantrums while transfixed by the appendage.

[Jonathan]

Hah!

[Phil]

Later that night, Johnny went into hysterics when the cauliflower was set on his plate.

[~Geektastic~]

Phil wrote: "Later that night, Johnny went into hysterics when the cauliflower was set on his plate."

Nasal PTSD.

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "Later that night, Johnny went into hysterics when the cauliflower was set on his plate."

Mother found this outburst irritating, as she had worked hard in the kitchen all day.



Margaretha Pfalerin

[~Geektastic~]

1064

Miriam thought she had gotten away with all of her surreptitious tasting in the kitchen, but she failed to realize that her ruff was collecting damning evidence.

[Jonathan]

Ruff.

And it looks like the fire on the stove in the left background has gotten a little out of control. Miriam might want to have a look at that.

[Jonathan]

Amber wrote: "Miriam thought she had gotten away with all of her surreptitious tasting in the kitchen..."

From across the kitchen, Charlotte looked on with mixed emotions....



Gerrit Dou

[Sarah]

Paula the Pheasant recognizes the feathers in Heinrich's hat as belonging to her uncle Tomas. She would say something about it, but she is a little tied up at the moment.

[~Geektastic~]

Poor Paula

[Jonathan]

Poor Tomas.

[Jonathan]

A friend dropped off the bird earlier in the day.



Gabriel Metsu

[Sarah]

#1071 Chavez and Blaze loved bringing their humans together for playdates. They always got along well, and it was nice to get them out of the house and socializing.

[~Geektastic~]

1071

It really wasn't fair that his master was always giving his nice, juicy birds away to every girl he met. So Blaze left his master's new friend a little gift inside her lovely pink slippers and innocently rested his head on his master's lap, laughing on the inside.

[Jonathan]

Bad doggie, Blaze.

[~Geektastic~]

Some dogs are just more civilized than others.

[image error]

Mark Francis Barraud

[Jonathan]

#1075 Glenn Gould's strange habit of mumbling whilst playing Bach most definitely did not meet with Sparky's approval.

[Janice]

Rufus would howl at the sound if only he could figure out what it was.

[~Geektastic~]

Rufus later discovered that he didn't much care for the live version either.

[image error]

John George Brown