jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium Showing 1,101-1,150 of 1,615

[Jonathan]

#1230: Don't be fooled by the adorable brocade halos--the girls of the Mary Jane gang were the terror of St. Joseph's Prep.

[~Geektastic~]

The Sisters of St Joseph's could count their lucky stars that the Mary Jane gang didn't cause the kind of trouble some of the boys were up to at the nearby boarding school.

[image error]

Charles Harvey

[janine]

Please tell me he isn't raping a sea turtle.

[Jonathan]

#1232: With Horace refusing to emerge from his shell all week, Sebastian finally resorted to...intensive massage.

[Sarah]

Everyone else did their best to ignore Horace and Sebastian. Some public behavior should not be validated.


Red Grooms

[janine]

Elvis lives!
[insert your own anagram here]

[~Geektastic~]

janine wrote: "Please tell me he isn't raping a sea turtle."

I find it telling that wikipedia says the boy is "riding" a sea turtle. Those quotation marks seem to express some skepticism.

[Sarah]

Where is that statue?

[~Geektastic~]

Worcester, Massachusetts. It's actually a defunct fountain.

[Sarah]

The turtle looks defunct to me.

[~Geektastic~]

Some art blog listed it as one of America's ugliest public art works. I wonder if it's the same list LG posted in the thread about public art.

[Phil]

#1236 - Much like "talk like a pirate day," "dress like a Picasso" day was a rousing success.

[Jonathan]

Pablo Picasso

[Phil]

Alfonse Dumiere cut a fine figure in his finest Sunday attire. Thus he was understandably saddened by his recent, unfortunate bleach accident. How could he possibly woo Isabelle now?

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

He needn't have worried. It was so dark at Isabelle's house you could barely see your fingers in front of your face. Being bleached could only help.



Georges de la Tour

[Sarah]

#1246 Six weeks after the tropical storm passed, poor Isabelle was still waiting for the electric company to restore her power.

[janine]

Luckily the storm had left a magical skull in her house. Even though she didn't have power, now she was powerful.

[Jonathan]

In the plain light of day, that skull was just part of the household clutter:



David Bailly

[Phil]

Demetrius Ogden presents his original idea for a children's book, "Can You Find It?" The idea is later pirated and retitled "I Spy," making millions, of which Demetrius is doomed to never see a cent.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

RA's stern visage belied a gay heart as he displayed the take from months of burgling TCers homes. He would have to lie low for awhile, but it was all worth it; not just the pearls and the portraits, but kindergarten diplomas and Kevin's diary. He blew some bubbles and let out a delicate fart.

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "Demetrius Ogden presents his original idea for a children's book, "Can You Find It?" The idea is later pirated and retitled "I Spy," making millions, of which Demetrius is doomed to never see a cent."

Hah. And unfortunately, intellectual property protections haven't really improved in the centuries since poor Demetrious Ogden's misfortune.

[Jonathan]

Lobstergirl wrote: "RA's stern visage belied a gay heart as he displayed the take from months of burgling TCers homes. He would have to lie low for awhile, but it was all worth it; not just the pearls and the portrai..."

I miss RA.

[Jim]

Who is this RA? :-)

[Phil]

Jim wrote: "Who is this RA? :-)"

Egyptian sun god.

[Jim]

Thanks Phil.

[Jonathan]

Lobstergirl wrote: "He blew some bubbles and let out a delicate..."



Jean-Baptiste-Siméon Chardin

[Sarah]

#1258 Everyone is aware that the seven dwarves were miners; less is known about their early years as au pairs.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Jonathan is so proper. He won't even copy and paste the word fart. Hmm, how can we trick him into repeating dirty words....

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Bored by seven hours of bubble blowing, the boy and his au pair headed over to the absinthe drinking competition.



Vincent van Vogh

[Sarah]

van Vogh?

#1262 Claude, Jean-Pierre, and Simone would never have guessed that they would have the contest snatched away from them by a pint-sized ghost.

[Phil]

The industrial revolution polluted the air, caused premature aging, and in some cases dwarfism and albinism.

The men of Auxerre overlooked these inconveniences and continued celebrating annually with pear lemonade and reminiscences of their earlier revolution, culminating with drunken shouts of "Liberté, égalité, fraternité!"

[Jonathan]

Sarah Pi wrote: "van Vogh?

It was only a matter of time. The poor man's name has been mangled and mispronounced in so many different ways--Van Goff, Van Goh, Fahn Goh...During the couple years he lived in England, he gave up correcting people, and just told them to call him "Mr. Vincent."

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: ""Liberté, égalité, fraternité!"



Eugène Delacroix

[janine]

Why so much trouble over a wardrobe malfunction that could've easily been fixed with some doublesided tape?

[Cynthia]

Once again, Helen thought, I'm the only woman at the party. And I thought it was strip poker night. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

[Sarah]

#1266 After her unfortunate wardrobe malfunction on Dancing With the Stars, Nancy Grace moved on to the less risky Tableaux Vivant With the Stars. Unfortunately, the gaff occurred again.

[Phil]

"No, no, no, you morons! We're supposed to be battling for Brest ... B-R-E-S-T. Now get it together and let's take this town!"

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Later that day, the gaffe occurred yet again, more thoroughly.



Hendrick Goltzius

[Jonathan]

Goltzius was an odd artist. If I didn't know he was Dutch, I wouldn't necessarily suspect it.

[Phil]

While Jimberto disabled their victim with his famous "nerve-numbing nipple twist," Kevinus pilfered the forbidden fruit from beneath the woman's mattress.

[Jonathan]

That makes sense, Phil. I had been thinking it was some sort of Princess and the Pea scenario, but if the woman could sleep through that wicked pinching, then a small irregularity in the mattress surface would probably have meant nothing to her.

[Phil]

I figured the titty-twist was similar to the Vulcan nerve pinch.

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "...pilfered the forbidden fruit."



Lucas Cranach

[janine]

Which was the tree with the forbidden fruit again? After last night's bender Adam wasn't so sure anymore.

[Phil]

Glancing at Eve's silky-smooth armpit, Adam once again wondered where she kept her razor -- he'd always wanted to use it on his damned itchy beard.

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "...he'd always wanted to use it on his damned itchy beard."

May have been a mistake letting Adam trim his beard. He went for the hipster look:



Gustave Courbet

[Sarah]

#1279 Michel cursed his mother's father as he gazed at his receding hairline in the mirror. Twenty was way too young to start a combover.

[Phil]

Waking with a start, Gustav found his heart beating rapidly and a cold sweat on his forehead. Yes, he remembered, he HAD been at the party with Adam last night and, looking down, he realized he HAD gone home with Eve. Would his friend ever forgive him?

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

He gave up on his receding hairline for the time being and tracked down Adam to talk it over, but Adam wouldn't even look at him.



François B.-M.-E. Cibot

[Phil]

Even angels have to wait while the women finish prepping for the ball.