jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium Showing 1,251-1,300 of 1,615

[Phil]

Maggie's love of a linear look extended even to her unibrow. Its uniformity and unbroken linear symmetry was something, she believed, to behold. Her love for ROUSs, however, kept even the bravest suitors at bay.

[Jonathan]

Rodents Of Unusual Size?



Walt Disney Studios

[Sarah]

#1392 As Mickey greeted the crowd outside Grauman's Chinese Theater, he wished -not for the first time - that he had followed Minnie's advice and gotten a Chihuahua. How embarrassing.

[Jonathan]

...or perhaps one of these?



Jean-Honoré Fragonard

[Jonathan]

:)

[Sarah]

#1394
"I said I needed a new ruff, and the next thing you know I'm holding this little yappy thing..."

[Phil]

"This one makes seventy-seven. Twenty-four more and I'll have that lovely new coat I've been wanting. Perhaps, though, I should have followed the advice from cousin Cruella and used puppies with spots."

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Or, that lovely new bathrobe.



Lucian Freud

[Phil]

Sitting nearer the window, Elizabeth believed, would help her eliminate the tan lines she'd recently acquired. Meanwhile, Buttons was not pleased in losing his spot in the sun.

[Jonathan]

I'm heading out to my parents' place shortly, but I just wanted to pop in here and wish a merry Christmas to all who celebrate...and safe travels. Depending where you are, it might be slippery out there.



Norman Rockwell

[Phil]

"Hey, Mister," the uniformed men said to the costumed stranger, "you sure have a pretty mouth."

Merry Christmas, Jonathan.

[Mary]

Merry Christmas Jonathan!!

[Janice]

Merry Christmas!

[Jonathan]

Thanks for all the Christmas wishes!

I hope Santa made it to all of your houses after his run-in with those two uniformed youths. I guess he's back home taking it easy, now that the big night is over.



Photo: copyright (c) Mrs. Claus

[Sarah]

#1407 Santa's Workshop was boycotted by animal rights activists for years after this photo was taken. Do you know how many polar bears it took to make a rug of that size?

[Phil]

How did he get a farmer's tan at the North Pole?

[Jonathan]

Sarah Pi wrote: "Do you know how many polar bears it took to make a rug of that size?"

The bear community was seriously peeved.



Sir Edwin Landseer

[janine]

He saw land, but didn't dare set foot on it.

[Jonathan]

The prospect was bleak in all directions.



Caspar David Friedrich

[Janice]

Superman knew it had to be Lex Luther who destroyed his ice castle.

[janine]

I own that cd.

[Phil]

#1410 -- Isabella couldn't stop laughing when David reminded her of the old joke, "how many polar bear bites does it take to get to gooey human center of a tent in the arctic?"

[Lyzzibug ~Still Breathing~]

I like that one, Phil. I missed this thread.

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "#1410 -- Isabella couldn't stop laughing when David reminded her of the old joke, "how many polar bear bites does it take to get to gooey human center of a tent in the arctic?""

Mr. Owl was tired of everyone stealing his act.



Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc.

[~Geektastic~]

1417: Though he wasn't sure how giving candy to an owl would solve his naked situation, Joey thought he may as well give it a try. All of his owl treats were in his pants anyway.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

It was said by some that Charles V also kept owl treats in his pants.



Jacob Seisenegger

[Phil]

Oh my.

I'll come back when I can pull my mind from the gutter.

[Jim]

Phil wrote: "Oh my.

I'll come back when I can pull my mind from the gutter."

You may never come back!

[Phil]

Living a hundred years too soon to have seen the failure of Seinfeld's "puffy shirt," Jacoby was certain in his misguided belief that his puffy coat and puffy shorts would be the highlight of fall fashion for the nobles of the realm. The puffy penis, however, was a risk.

[Jammies]

Rouviere lifted his nose, determined not to let his human know it was he who had called the fashion gendarmes.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

When you can remove your puffy clothes and put on something simpler, you feel much better. Or not.



Milton Avery

[Phil]

Millicent despaired when the wading pool in the yard gave way beneath her. Alas, there would be no snorkeling this day.

[Cynthia]

Millie wondered if she'd gone and squashed the pasta salad and tea sandwiches she'd packed for the picnic.

[Jonathan]

Having ruined the sandwiches and pasta salad, Millie stopped off in town for a bagel with a schmear but was somewhat taken aback by the portion size...



Claes Oldenburg

[Sarah]

#1427 Klaus entered the gallery and was immediately smitten with the bagel-and-woman installation.
"I'll buy it!" he shouted to the room, wrapping his arms around the woman."I'll pay double if I can take them home with me tonight!"
"But sir," said Pam, trying to wriggle out of Klaus's grasp. "I'm not part of the piece. I'm the artist."
"I know art when I see it," said Klaus. "I'll pay triple, and not a penny more."

[Jonathan]

Meeting with resistance, Klaus resorted to hypnosis.



R. Crumb

[Phil]

Mooncloud boasted of his hypnotic abilities but in reality it was the odor of his unwashed pits that put the ladies in a trance.

[Janice]

Suzanne did not swoon from Timothy's attempts at incantations. Rather, it was the melodious aroma eminating from his body that held the real power.

[Phil]

Kyle had many tricks up his (non-existent) sleeves for seducing his wife.

[Jonathan]

She cleared her senses with a sweeter fragrance.



George Leslie

[Cynthia]

Oh, Phil.

[Phil]

Marie was sure her carnation diet would get her swimsuit figure back before holiday.

[Sarah]

#1433 Deciding which flowers were for the vase and which were for eating was always the toughest part. You may notice that several in the vase have nibbles around the edges.

[Cynthia]

Betsy sniffed deeply, trying to block the sound of her mama shrieking, "girl! You have got to learn to sit up straight! Men don't fall for girls with lousy posture!"

[Jonathan]

Not true. Some men just adore lousy posture.



Fleischer Studios

[Phil]

Having coordinated her outfit to match his shirt, Olive was sure that this time Popeye would pay more attention to her than to Bluto. What was it with those two, anyway? They sure spent a lot of time together. Oh, nevermind. This time would be different.

Wouldn't it?

[Mary]

Popeye was thrilled when his pipe proved to be the perfect device to channel his farts.
Olive swooned at his inventorial expertise.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Betsy could have benefited from his innovation, as she had no method of channeling hers.



Elizabeth Morahan

[Phil]

Santorum made his way out of the crevice and began his run for the nomination.

[Jonathan]

And the race was on.



Roman, Pompeii/Herculaneum