jonathan, i need your help! (Everyone's Captions), Not Visiting Belgium Showing 1,151-1,200 of 1,615

[Jonathan]

Phil wrote: "Even angels have to wait while the women finish prepping for the ball."

Might take a while. Someone dropped a contact lens.



James Tissot

[Sarah]

#1284 Madeleine and Clarisse learned quickly that leapfrog is not easily played in dresses with bustles.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

It was always easier to swing through the air when you were wearing pantaloons.



Kerry James Marshall

[Phil]

Claude swept Anna quickly out of the path of the giant cat lurking just outside the gate. "That was close," Claude said, with obvious relief. He was about to add that her new hairdo had a resemblance to Minnie Mouse, but thought better of the idea.

[Sarah]

#1286 Alfonse was loathe to tell Minnie that she was getting too big for him to play airplane with. Minnie was loathe to tell Alfonse that she was hoping he would launch her over the gate and into the arms of her secret lover, Doug.

[Sarah]

ps I just noticed the cat!

[Jonathan]

Minnie had a nasty surprise awaiting her when she arrived home:



Llyn Foulkes

[Jonathan]

Poor Boris!

[Sarah]

#1290 Walt had already lost his head to the deep freezer, but he had one last thought that he should erase the evidence. Unfortunately, he didn't count on witnesses.

[Phil]

Who's the leader of the club
That's made for all zombies?
M-i-c-k-e-y   M-o-u-s-e

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Sarah Pi wrote: "ps I just noticed the cat!"

Did you see the black power fist?

[Sarah]

Lobstergirl wrote: "Sarah Pi wrote: "ps I just noticed the cat!"

Did you see the black power fist?"

That's not a fist. That's Doug.

[Jonathan]

Sarah Pi wrote: "...he had one last thought that he should erase the evidence. Unfortunately, he didn't count on witnesses."

Evidence can be difficult to interpret, especially when witness testimony is involved:



Chuck Jones

[Phil]

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

WABBIT season!

Wabbit season!

DUCK SEASON! FIRE!!

[Sarah]

#1297 Elmer tried to be openminded, but he couldn't hide the fact that drag made him uncomfortable.

[Jonathan]

Hah!

[Sarah]

I was going to add a dagnabbit dragrabbit but I thought that was overkilldawabbit.

[Jonathan]

Perhaps. But it works well now as an addendum.

[Jonathan]

Sarah Pi wrote: "#1297 Elmer tried to be openminded, but he couldn't hide the fact that drag made him uncomfortable."

Too bad Elmer didn't live in colonial era New York during the administration of Lord Cornbury:



Unknown artist

[Disclaimer: the identification of this portrait with Cornbury has been disputed, as have the stories of his cross-dressing...]

[Phil]

The third Lord Cornbury had everyone wondering exactly where he buried the corn.

[Jonathan]

John Lovitz struggled with what to do for Halloween that year. Thankfully, his last-minute costume came together well.

I always loved his pathological liar routine: "That's the ticket..."

[Jonathan]

Grant Wood, "Corn Cob Chandelier" for the Iowa Corn Room, 1925-26

[Phil]

The latest addition to the "de Sade Pleasure Collection."

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

There was no question: the guilty party was Kernel Corn, in the dining room, with a stalk-shaped shiv.

[Jonathan]

It was a bizarre crime scene.



Jacques-Louis David

[Phil]

Having been stabbed by the jealous husband of one of the many women he had courted, Michele used his last moments to alert his family: "The pen, in the end, is most certainly not mightier than the sword."

[Jonathan]

Sad but true.

[Sarah]

Phil wrote: "Having been stabbed by the jealous husband of one of the many women he had courted, Michele used his last moments to alert his family: "The pen, in the end, is most certainly not mightier than the..."

Sadly, he had just been in the middle of composing a new song. It left off at "And what's the point of a revolution without general?"

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

They caught Dr. Conrad Murray two blocks away, an empty propofol syringe and a croissant still in his pocket.

[Jonathan]

Jeff Koons, "Michael Jackson and Bubbles," 1988.

[~Geektastic~]

1315

After receiving an ipod for Christmas, Grandma's curio collection took an odd turn.

[Jonathan]

Hee.

[Sarah]

Ha!

[Phil]

The will only stipulated that Jackson's balls be dipped in gold before burial. The family, though, took it many steps further and now keep Michael and Bubbles in the foyer of Tito's home.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Sometimes you got the impression Grandma's curio collection was becoming increasingly perverse.



Robert Mapplethorpe

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

She does.

[Jonathan]

Bump.

[~Geektastic~]

Isn't that Louise Bourgeois in that picture?

[Jonathan]

Yes, I think so.

[Jonathan]

Isn't that an Abba lyric?

[Sarah]

#1320 It wasn't her taste in art that was changing. Grandma's declining eyesight resulted in many strange purchases. In this picture, she is showing off what she thought was a tribute to croquet, entitled "Mallet and Balls."

[Jonathan]

Anon. illustrator, Belgian, 1910

[Sarah]

ALl I can think of now is lines from Heathers.

[~Geektastic~]

1329

This would be the day Martha would always regret: the day her mother forgot to wear her glasses while playing croquet. Poor Martha's teeth were never the same afterward.

[Sarah]

Amber ~Geektastic~ wrote: "1329

This would be the day Martha would always regret: the day her mother forgot to wear her glasses while playing croquet. Poor Martha's teeth were never the same afterward."

Ha!

[~Geektastic~]

Sarah Pi wrote: "ALl I can think of now is lines from Heathers.
"

Love that movie. Now I need to watch it when I go home.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

After that, at parties, Martha would freeze in fear when a good looking man approached.



Francisco de Goya

[Phil]

Heidi and Clark cowered as Barb described their punishment for not including proper Canadian postage with their shebangs.

[Janice]

Ha!

[Jonathan]

Canadian justice is far more severe than people generally realize.



Johnny Craig