Lily Ableman's Blog, page 5
February 2, 2015
Falling Under His Spell Pricing Update
Sorry,��Falling Under His Spell��is back to being 99 cents at ALL retailers. The option of setting the price on Smashwords didn’t result in a lot more downloads, so I’m back to being uncool and charging money for my writing.
But only 99 cents, you all…
January 30, 2015
Boys, Boys, Boys
As I’ve written before, I have a crush on a pretentious douche bag who goes to my school. Though, at this point, it’s more like lust bordering on obsession than a crush.
I thought I got over him during winter break because I’m pretty sure I only briefly thought about him a few times at home. Nothing like at school, when I thought about him every day and kept obsessing about��my hatred/not-quite-love for him.
But then I came back to school. At first, I was still convinced that I was over him. But then I walked back into my social science class and thought, “Wow, that guy really does look like…”
I don’t think I need to complete the sentence.
And then I stared at the lookalike during class.
And voila, attraction to him.
I showed two of my friends the lookalike’s Facebook profile. Their reactions:
Friend 1: Oh my God, he could be his fucking brother.
Friend 2: Huh, he looks a little like…
Again, I don’t think I need to complete the sentence. And I don’t think I need to clarify who “he” is.
Then I had to admit to myself that I’m not over him.
Because I’m pretty sure the way to get over someone doesn’t involve immediately starting to crush on a guy who looks like his fucking brother.
Aaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggg.
The similarities don’t end there. They’re both short for American guys, I’m pretty sure they were born in the same year, they like to talk a lot, and oh my God, I swear they even SOUND similar. (But again, I haven’t seen the original crush in a while.) And they both recently got haircuts.
As my friend said, I DEFINITELY have a type.
It’s fucking weird.
And last night, I read pretentious douche bag’s blog again.
(Yes, I hate myself.)
He writes a lot, but in my opinion, his writing isn’t that great. Sooo unnecessarily wordy and pretentious. He so tries too hard to sound smart.
Then again, this opinion might be colored by my hatred/not-quite-love.
Hopefully, his doppelganger is less of a douche bag. He seems nicer. And objectively, he is more attractive. He’s definitely one of the highlights of my social science class.
But the original crush still invades my thoughts. Like, all of the fucking time.
God, I need to get rid of these damn feelings.
January 26, 2015
Why don’t I delete Tinder?
At first, Tinder was kind of fun. I remember I spent HOURS swiping left and swiping right on hundreds of guys instead of studying for my math final (which is probably why I bombed it). And because I didn’t have to worry about running into most of the guys on the app, I had the confidence to start up conversations with them and use my (dubious) flirting skills. Sure, most of the conversations were shallow and a few went like this:
Me: Nice abs ;)
Guy: Ha, ha, thank you. What’s up, beautiful?
Me: Nothing much. Just working on my college studies.
And yeah, that’s kind of, like, it.
There was ONE conversation I actually enjoyed. A guy who was Asian like me, liked Taylor Swift, had similar insecurities, and enjoyed the occasional drink/smoke. But alas, I had dinner with the guy and it was a disappointing experience. He was late and wore sweats. SWEATS. So yeah, it wasn’t romantic at all. No sparks whatsoever.
And some of the guys were just ASSHOLES. Soliciting me for blow jobs without getting to know my last name and so much negging.
If you don’t know what negging is, here is a disgusting, totally sexist (and sadly un-ironic) article on it:
http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/negging-women/
Maybe negging works on some girls (note to girls who actually get seduced by negging assholes: honey, you deserve better than a douche who feels the need to establish his superiority by making backhanded compliments. A true man would seduce you with kindness and respect), but it sure as hell doesn’t work on me. Try to neg on me on Tinder and you will be unmatched. Try to neg on me in real life and I will bring out the pepper spray.
Luckily, I go to the University of Chicago, which is a very liberal school. Admittedly, sometimes, I get a little frustrated with the overemphasis on being politically correct and the school sure as hell isn’t perfect (mishandling campus rape investigations, sigh…), but overall, it is a very good environment for women and minorities. Sure, there’s the occasional sexist/racist pig, but you can bet your ass said pig will be called out and shamed.
Anyway, I digress…
Back to Tinder.
I know I won’t find what I’m looking for on Tinder. I want a relationship with sparks, hours of good conversation, something that’s more than just a meaningless hookup. And I know I won’t ever be in the mood to have casual sex or one night stands. I don’t judge people who do hookup and have casual sex because there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, but it isn’t me. Yes, I have sexual desires, but I want some emotion to go with the sex. Not necessarily making love, but something that goes beyond physical intimacy.
As a result, I know I should delete Tinder. Shallow conversations about abs get old. Being disappointed gets old.
And I really should try to approach people in real life and get over my crippling shyness.
But for now, I’ll keep Tinder.
January 18, 2015
A Poor College Student’s Review of Some Pre-Prepared Foods
When you’re a poor college student like me, it’s inevitable that you will eat some sodium-filled, not exactly healthy pre-prepared foods. Yeah, it would be great if you could cook, order some delicious takeout, or go to the dining halls, but let’s be honest here; sometimes (or if you’re me, all of the time), you’re too damn lazy to prepare real food/make the trek to the dining hall and/or too damn poor to buy groceries/order mouthwatering takeout. As a result, you look to instant ramen/canned soups/microwaveable dinners for some dubious calories. (And later, you hate yourself for not eating real food, but hey, a college student’s got to eat, even if it’s crap.)
So in this post, I will offer some of my comments & thoughts on some pre-prepared foods.
Don’t eat these every night, folks.
Campbell’s Chunky Classic Chicken Noodle Soup:
http://www.amazon.com/Campbells-Chunky-Classic-Chicken-Noodle/dp/B0014EQIFM
Okay, one can contains 66% of your daily sodium content, so this is in no way a health food, but hey, in one meal, you’ve got your carbs (the noodles), vegetables (the celery and carrots), and protein (the strange tasting chicken). And one can is 220 calories, so if you’re really desperate and/or it’s final week, you could have five cans a day and be consuming less than 1200 calories (though you’ll probably higher your risk of hypertension).
Taste-wise, though, this isn’t the greatest. The carrots are eh and the soup has a funky somewhat metallic taste (though that could be from the metal can and/or the fact that I used a plastic container to microwave the soup). And the chicken – is it me or it kind of tastes like some bland fish?
But it’s edible enough and filling.
But the sodium…oh my God.
Ve Wong, Instant Oriental Noodle Soup, Pork & Chicken Flavor:
Definitely better than your average American instant ramen. And if you’re really too lazy to boil water, you could eat these noodles raw as a snack.
But as with all ramen, the sodium is pretty bad (74% of your daily sodium content, Jesus Christ!). Plus there’s MSG and some cholesterol. But the flavor of the soup is good and the noodles are soft.
But the vegetables (if you could call them that) are so much meh and I wish they came in a separate packet. And the ramen is not very filling. And when you’re down to the dregs, it can be pretty sad. The noodles are then mushy and the soup is lukewarm.
But waaaaay better than Maruchan or Top Ramen.
Annie Chun’s Chicken Noodle Soup Bowl
No. Just no.
The noodles are supposedly all natural, but they have a strange as fuck plastic-like taste. And the vegetables are a joke. Now, I don’t expect the mushrooms to look like the ones on the cover (I mean, come on, it’s instant soup), but I expect them, I don’t know, to, like, EXIST. Okay, yeah, there were little bits of mushrooms, but they were smaller than the tip of my pen. The vegetables overall were just sad puny things.
You know something’s bad when I can’t take more than two bites of it. I ain’t no food critic, but I know this is not delicious.
Nongshim Shin Noodle Ramyun:
Some of my friends introduced me to this ramen and I’m real glad they did. Yeah, it was spicy as fuck and I needed a lot of water to survive even a few bites, but the flavor was good and the noodles were delicious. And the ramen is filling as fuck. If you’re a spice wimp like me, you’ll have to savor this meal and eat this slowly because if you try to eat it too fast, you will likely choke from the fire-like spice.
And the mushrooms aren’t bad either (though they’re nothing like the nice plump ones on the package).
But of course, it ain’t a health food. Just look at the sodium, man.
Warning: please don’t have all of your meals consist of these products.
January 15, 2015
Spending and (Hopefully) Making Money as an Indie Author
I’ve noticed there’s not a lot of information about what the average indie author makes. Sure, there’s statistics, but the sample sizes tend to be pretty small and include the self published authors who managed to make it super big. So I’m going to go into detail about my self publishing money matters. Granted, I don’t know if I’m the average indie author (I suspect I make less than the average indie author) and I’m a full time student at the University of Chicago (which means I don’t get to write or do anything I enjoy very much), but hopefully, my perspective won’t be completely useless.
*Spending Money:
I’ve read some blog posts that talk about indie authors spending hundreds, even THOUSANDS, of dollars on self publishing a novel. Let me tell you, that isn’t me.
I’ve also read that the more money you put into a book, the more money you tend to make (which might be why I’m not raking in the dough. That, and I suck ass at self promotion).
So for Bitter Candy, I spent $40, which all went toward the book cover. (If you’re looking for some reasonably priced and professional book covers, I suggest http://goonwrite.com/
It’s one of the best book cover sites I’ve come across, in my humble opinion, quality and price wise.)
Yeah, I didn’t spend hundreds of dollars for an editor. Come on, I’m a poor college student. I self edit (hopefully, that’s not painfully obvious in my novel). Also have not spent a single cent on promotion or reviews. I’m a low-risk girl. I’m not going to spend oodles of money on the CHANCE of selling more books.
For Falling Under His Spell, I suppose technically I spent $11.50 on the stock image for the book cover (I recommend Shutterstock). But I’m going to say I spent $0 on the book because I used a stock image I intend to use for a later novel (yeah, I reuse stock images. I’m cheap. Sue me).
So that’s how much money I spent.
Now on to…
*Making Money:
Bitter Candy Sales:
September 2014: $27.89
October 2014: $58.19
November 2014: $15.49 (give or take)
December 2014: $24.70
Total profits: $126.27 – 40 = $86.27
So $86.27.
Yeah, I can’t buy a new car with that money. Or even a new textbook or a decent used one.
BUT I have made a profit.
And I still continue to sell books, if not many.
As for Falling Under His Spell, I’m not expecting to make as much money because I am letting readers set the download price on Smashwords. But hopefully, some readers will still pay to read the novella (one person paid 99 cents for it today! Thank you, you wonderful human being for donating to a poor college student like me). And hopefully, people who read the novella will be tempted to pick up Bitter Candy.
Aaaaaaaag, I wish I was making enough money to quit college and screw trying to be a math major. But I know that’s a looooooooooong shot.
But mainly, I’m writing because I do like to write. If I happen to make a little extra cash along the way, well, added bonus.
So for now, I’m going to take a break from heavy promotion (it’s not like it was working super well anyway, ha). And I will try to get back to work on my neglected Devil in an Armani Suit.
January 14, 2015
Fucking Tinder
Warning: This is going to be a very angry, potentially lengthy rant.
FUCKING TINDER.
Of course I don’t expect to find love on Tinder. For Christ’s sake, it’s known as the hookup app. But I do expect some goddamn respect. And is it so wrong to��want��a little romance?
On Tinder, I often start conversations. I don’t expect a relationship or anything, but I don’t know, I could have a good conversation with someone or – gasp – maybe even start dating someone.
(HA, HA, HA. As if I have any love life to speak of.)
Full disclosure: if a guy posts a shirtless selfie, more likely than not, I will say something along the lines of:
*Nice bod!
*I see exercise has done you some good ;)
*Are you an alien? Because your biceps are out of this world.
Is it misandric? Possibly, slightly, somewhat. But I’ve never gotten any negative replies. Yeah, I’ve gotten a “Let’s fuck” reply but that’s to be expected on Tinder. And I’ve replied with basically “Thanks but no thanks. I like a little romance before doing the dirty tango,” which has resulted in some un-matching. Which mildly annoys me but again, it’s to be expected on Tinder. Some people are just looking for hookups and that’s totally fine. It’s just not for me.
Anyway, those kind of interactions have never made me angry.
(Note: But a guy starting with a “Let’s fuck” or the even worse “DTF?” does make me angry, BTW. I’ve given you no indication I want casual sex and it just shows how much you don’t give a shit.)
But an interaction I had today made me fucking rage.
***
Me: 420 every day (Because this guy said 420 on his profile.)
Him (not verbatim, but a decent paraphrase): Yeah, want to come over and fool around and smoke? I have a Volcano vaporizer and shit.
Me: That’s some fancy shit. But nah. I like to know a guy a little before taking that step.
Him (verbatim): Your not the greatest looking, don’t know if I can do that.
***
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?
Why this makes me rage:
1) Incorrect grammar. It’s “You’re not the greatest looking”, dumb-ass!
2) The blatant put-down.
Yes, I am no supermodel. But it is no reason to comment on my looks in such an unkind way.
And what was the point of him commenting on my looks anyway? Was he that angry I didn’t want to have casual sex with him? Sorry, but not everyone’s into hookups and you should respect that, asshole.
Was he hoping that he would hurt my self esteem enough so that I would be willing to have casual sex with him? If so, that’s sick and I hope to God that putting down a girl’s looks hasn’t gotten him laid before. Girls, please don’t have sex with someone because he’s made you feel like you’re not pretty enough to deserve actual effort and an actual relationship. (But if you want to have sex because you want to have sex, go for it. Don’t let anyone slut-shame you, ladies!) He’s just feeding you bullshit. Plus, he’s an asshole who deserves to get punched in the face.
Newsflash, dick: Yes, your words did indeed hurt my self esteem. I’m sensitive about my looks and what you said saddened me. But if you were expecting to hurt me enough so that I would be in any position to ever consider hooking up with a piece of shit like you, you’re mistaken. Putting down my looks is not going to make me want you any more and is not going to make me feel like I only deserve guys who are looking for easy lays and who are clearly not willing to put any effort into a relationship. No, putting down my looks will make me want to punch you and break your stupid, misogynistic nose. I am not going to fall for your bullshit, you stupid ass fuck. Because I do deserve a guy who wants the same things I do and who is willing to put effort into a relationship. A guy who will be clearly better than you.
In the end, I was angry enough to let myself type, “Well, jackass. Fuck you too!” But then I immediately unmatched him.
Because really, a guy like that isn’t worth any of your time.
Maybe I should try real-life dating…
Ha, but that would require talking to people. Am I ready for that?
Maybe I eventually will be.
In the meantime, I’m still going to use Tinder because I know not every guy is an asshole. But I’m not expecting anything.
Goddamn it, when will my prince come? But shit, I don’t even need a prince. I just want a nice guy I’m attracted to and who’s attracted to me.
Maybe someday.
January 12, 2015
Pay what you want for FALLING UNDER HIS SPELL
You can now pay whatever you want for FALLING UNDER HIS SPELL on Smashwords and Noise Trade.
So if you want to pay zero cents, well, yeah, you can now pay zero cents.
But…
WARNING: SHAMELESS BEGGING AHEAD.
Please, if you’re so inclined and if you can afford it, pay something.
1) I did work hard on this novella.
2) I do love this novella.
And 3) Me=poor college student who wants to eat something more nutritious and filling than ramen noodles and wants to buy overpriced textbooks for her classes.
SHAMELESS BEGGING OVER.
The summary in case you’re interested:
A sexy new adult contemporary romance novella with an over the top alpha male.
Taylor Gray – beautiful, kind, independent.
Chase Eastwick – sexy, selfish, possessive.
Let the chase begin…
***16,800 words*** Less A sexy new adult contemporary romance novella with an over the top alpha male.
Taylor Gray – beautiful, kind, independent.
Chase Eastwick – sexy, selfish, possessive.
Let the chase begin…
***16,800 words***
Taylor Gray thinks her beauty is a curse. Because of it, she has received a lot of unwanted attention from some unsavory guys. Chase Eastwick is no exception. Although he possesses ridiculously good looks, Taylor wants nothing to do with the jerk who is unwilling to take no for an answer and does not get the concept of personal space.
But Chase soon becomes the only person she can turn to for help.
Unfortunately, however, his help comes with strings attached…
The links if you want to download the novella:
http://books.noisetrade.com/lilyableman/falling-under-his-spell
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/506940
And the novella is still available on Amazon for 99 cents.
Falling Under His Spell (New Adult Contemporary Romance)
January 11, 2015
Bitter Candy by Lily Ableman
Fellow past Inkie helping a fellow past Inkie. RIP, Inkpop.
Originally posted on J.N. Cahill ::
Hi guys, today I am here to promote a book from a fellow past inkie/Wattpad author. While I haven���t read the final, published version, I remember liking it in its early stages. Fans of Gossip Girl and similar books would probably enjoy it.
Picture Source: Goodreads,com
Bitter Candy by Lily Ableman
Published September 16th, 2014
Hilarie Walsh fits in with her high school about as well as a Satan worshipper at a Christian book club. Not only is she the sole middle class girl in a sea of filthy rich kids, but ��� thanks to her ex���s lies ��� everyone also thinks she���s a slut. As a result, she���s completely given up on her love life.
Enter senior year ��� and Eric Lawington, the arrogant but incredibly sexy son of a billionaire.
Let the sparks fly���
Excerpt:
Yet again, Eric was throwing a party for people���
View original 457 more words
January 4, 2015
The Retribution of Mara Dyer
Dude, I was really excited for this book. I fucking LOVED the first two books, although almost nothing made sense, because they made me want to know more and made me demand answers, damn it. And the romance between Mara and Noah=cheesy and kind of ridiculous, but swoon-worthy and so fucking romantic.
And I got answers with the third book…I think. Maybe. But ultimately, the third book was kind of disappointing. I gave it 4/5 stars because there were some parts I did enjoy, but a part of me thinks such a rating might be too generous and influenced by my love for the previous two books.
Possible spoilers ahead.
Mara seriously bugged the hell out of me. I managed to sympathize with her and even like her while reading the first two books because, although she did some bat-shit crazy (not to mention very, very, very wrong) things, I got the sense she didn’t mean to do them and she didn’t want to do them and she regretted doing them.
But god, during this last book…If she wasn’t talking about NOAH, NOAH, NOAH (who, by the way, didn’t show up until MORE THAN HALFWAY through the book), she was thinking of killing (and actually killing) people left and right with no remorse whatsoever. I understand that this book is called The RETRIBUTION of Mara Dyer, but she didn’t only think about killing people who wronged her; she thought about killing people who, yes, were undeniably shitty but didn’t deserve to die. Killing in self-defense, okay. Even killing for revenge, I get to a certain extent. But killing people because you deem them to be bad – no, no, no. With this mindset, you EASILY get corrupted (e.g. Light in Death Note) and more likely than not become seriously evil.
But whatever. Mara likes who she’s becoming. *wants to roll my eyes but doesn’t out of fear Mara will kill me with her mind for disagreeing with her*
And speaking of this retribution…
WHY DIDN’T SHE IMMEDIATELY KILL THE BIG BADDIE? IF YOU PUT RETRIBUTION IN THE TITLE OF A BOOK, I EXPECT SOME PROPER RETRIBUTION, BITCHES!
But whatever.
And Noah got on my nerves too. I understand his *affliction* gives him suicidal impulses and stuff, but he’s such a woeful poor little rich boy. “OH, I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT, MY SISTER AND STEPMOTHER LOVE ME, I AM SUPER RICH NOT TO MENTION HOT AND BRITISH, ALL THE CHICKS WANT TO BANG ME, BUT I AM SO FUCKING SAD BECAUSE MY DAD DOESN’T LOVE ME.”
When his dad said Noah needed to grow the fuck up, I kind of agreed with the man (even though the man is evil BTW).
And can we talk about the sex scene, please? I admit, some of the prose was lovely, but a lot of it made me want to LOL, LMFAO, ROFL.
Sooo cheesy.
And a lot of the book was boring. Okay, if you aren’t giving me a whole lot of Noah, I expect action, surprises, suspense, etc. But no. I get riveting descriptions of going through files.
And why does no one give Jude a proper amount of sympathy? Yes, the dude was batshit crazy and did a lot of terrible shit, but he couldn’t help it. Scientists messed with his mind, man.
But whatever.
January 3, 2015
Writing, Tunes, etc.
I’m the author of a novel and now one novella!
Woo!
Writing New Year’s Resolutions (ha, let’s see if I manage to keep these):
1. Write more.
2. Meet my self-imposed deadlines. Seriously.
3. Finish Devil in an Armani Suit before the end of the year.
Speaking of Devil…
I’m going to revise the first few chapters, with a focus on trying to make Andrew less blah. I might even change his name. Because it’s a problem if I, the author, am even forgetting his name and struggling to write about him.
NICE GUYS CAN BE INTERESTING TOO.
Hopefully, the revisions will reflect that VERY important fact.
Other New Year’s Resolutions:
1. Work out more (ha, ha, ha!)
2. Study more (LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, ROFL).
***************
Last.fm has really helped me discover a lot of great tunes. I’m already becoming more hipster.
1. The Royal Concept – Girls Girls Girls
The whole album Goldrushed is pretty great. Got to love European bands!
2. Solange – Bad Girls (Verdine Version)
3. Sondre Lerche – Bad Law
Yet another reason to love Norway.
4. Lorde – The Love Club
Not indie but whatever. Still a great song.
5. The Whitest Boy Alive – Burning
6. Thumpers – Unkinder (A Tougher Love)
7. Asher Roth – I Love College
Not indie but should be played at college parties EVERYWHERE.
********
Reading The Retribution of Mara Dyer. So far, not feeling it :(
Possible spoilers, maybe.
Too much pseudo-science and blah, blah, blah and not enough BLOOD, RETRIBUTION.
It was promising in the beginning, but I’m starting to feel sorry for Mara’s friends:
Jamie & Stella: Oh, God, she’s fucking psycho. And she won’t fucking shut up about Noah, but I don’t want to say anything because shit, she’s already killed 3 people and I don’t want to be next.
I don’t need romance, but the love story between Mara & Noah provided many of the highlights in the first two books. And if you aren’t going to give me awwww-inducing romance, give me blood and answers, Michelle Hodkin!
But so far, a lot of meh.
