Why don’t I delete Tinder?

At first, Tinder was kind of fun. I remember I spent HOURS swiping left and swiping right on hundreds of guys instead of studying for my math final (which is probably why I bombed it). And because I didn’t have to worry about running into most of the guys on the app, I had the confidence to start up conversations with them and use my (dubious) flirting skills. Sure, most of the conversations were shallow and a few went like this:

Me: Nice abs ;)

Guy: Ha, ha, thank you. What’s up, beautiful?

Me: Nothing much. Just working on my college studies.

And yeah, that’s kind of, like, it.

There was ONE conversation I actually enjoyed. A guy who was Asian like me, liked Taylor Swift, had similar insecurities, and enjoyed the occasional drink/smoke. But alas, I had dinner with the guy and it was a disappointing experience. He was late and wore sweats. SWEATS. So yeah, it wasn’t romantic at all. No sparks whatsoever.

And some of the guys were just ASSHOLES. Soliciting me for blow jobs without getting to know my last name and so much negging.

If you don’t know what negging is, here is a disgusting, totally sexist (and sadly un-ironic) article on it:

http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/negging-women/

Maybe negging works on some girls (note to girls who actually get seduced by negging assholes: honey, you deserve better than a douche who feels the need to establish his superiority by making backhanded compliments. A true man would seduce you with kindness and respect), but it sure as hell doesn’t work on me. Try to neg on me on Tinder and you will be unmatched. Try to neg on me in real life and I will bring out the pepper spray.

Luckily, I go to the University of Chicago, which is a very liberal school. Admittedly, sometimes, I get a little frustrated with the overemphasis on being politically correct and the school sure as hell isn’t perfect (mishandling campus rape investigations, sigh…), but overall, it is a very good environment for women and minorities. Sure, there’s the occasional sexist/racist pig, but you can bet your ass said pig will be called out and shamed.

Anyway, I digress…

Back to Tinder.

I know I won’t find what I’m looking for on Tinder. I want a relationship with sparks, hours of good conversation, something that’s more than just a meaningless hookup. And I know I won’t ever be in the mood to have casual sex or one night stands. I don’t judge people who do hookup and have casual sex because there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, but it isn’t me. Yes, I have sexual desires, but I want some emotion to go with the sex. Not necessarily making love, but something that goes beyond physical intimacy.

As a result, I know I should delete Tinder. Shallow conversations about abs get old. Being disappointed gets old.

And I really should try to approach people in real life and get over my crippling shyness.

But for now, I’ll keep Tinder.