Lily Ableman's Blog, page 2

Blame it on HIGH FIDELITY

Because I’m rereading HIGH FIDELITY (man, I forgot how good of a book it was), this blog post will be in the form of lists.

Last Five Movies I Loved

Ruby Sparks – For some reason, as soon as I read the premise, I believed that I would really like this movie. & I loved it. The screenplay is great, Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan’s acting was perfect, & the movie’s ending was the definition of bittersweet (in the best, tug-at-your-heartstrings way). & it was so fucking romantic (though, warning, there is a really dark scene which made me go, “WHY, PAUL DANO, WHY?”). This movie did make me feel a Taylor Swift range of emotions, from “Baby, it’s a love story, baby, just say yes” to “Baby what happened? Please tell me/ ‘Cause one second it was perfect, now you’re halfway out the door.” Great Valentine’s Day movie. Even if (or especially) you’re sad and alone (like me!).
Stranger than Fiction – Another movie exploring what would happen if authors had the power to make their characters into real breathing people. Will Ferrell is actually fucking good in this & the romance was good as well (“I brought you flours” – that actually got me good).
But I’m a Cheerleader – Talked about my previous love for this movie in my last blog post. Great, progressive as fuck satire.
Face/Off – Fucking off the wall batshit mind fuck crazy (aka amazing action movie). So ridiculous but so fun.
The Iron Giant – If I didn’t have a heart of stone, this movie would have made me bawl like a fucking baby.

Last five songs that were magic on first listen –

“The Sound” by the 1975 – Came for the catchy melody, stayed for the lyrics, which described the epitome of a toxic relationship.
“Wolves” by One Direction – Even my friends who are vehemently against One Direction have to admit this song isn’t bad.
“Art Deco” by Lana Del Rey – Her songs are pure cinema in musical form (if that makes sense).
“L’Amour Fait Ce Qu’il Veit” by MIKA – Though I don’t know one word of French, this song still managed to make me melancholy in a sort of weirdly sweet way. Then I read the English translation, and though I never experienced the pain and joy of being in a wholly consuming love, I still felt like crying. Universality of a good tune.
“Formation” by Beyonce – a fierce as fuck anthem showing off her pride of her culture and heritage. Political yet the perfect party song.

Last two noteworthy academic events –

A- on my first two Gender Civ papers – Really surprised by my grades because to be honest, I thought my first two papers weren’t that great (though I do have a talent for selling myself short). & then really pleased because my Gender Civ professor is legit (like, I mean, achievements galore and a Wikipedia page and stuff). So if she likes my writing, I actually don’t completely suck.
23% on my Stats midterm – Really, as a math major at the University of Chicago, I’ve grown accustomed to failure. So yeah, I was disappointed, but not surprised. And I didn’t do THAT bad, considering the average, standard deviation, and range of the exam scores (which were hella crazy). So yeah.

Things to be thankful for Valentine’s Day –

Tempted to write “HAHA, NOTHING” as I’m perpetually single and currently suffering a serious unrequited crush, but I am thankful for 1.) my friends. They make UChicago somewhat bearable and help some with my constant feeling of loneliness.

Here’s to singlehood and friends.

 

LGBTQ Movies

So today, watched two LGBTQ movies (or to be more accurate, watched one movie and attempted to watch another movie). First, I tried to watch Brokeback Mountain.

& my friend and I agreed that it was FUCKING BORING.

Possible spoilers ahead.

I mean, it was, like, silence for the first five minutes of the movie; we were waiting for them to say something, ANYTHING (also, we wanted to make sure that the version of the film that I was downloading wasn’t, like, dubbed in Italian or anything). & then they were talking about raising sheep… Then cowboy things… Then bland daddy issues… Then beans. OH GOD, BEANS…

& the sex scene was so not sexy & it was not tender at all & it had kind of a rapey vibe.

The pace was like MOLASSES. SLOW, SLOW, AGONIZING MOLASSES.

It was disappointing because I like Ang Lee films (Life of Pi and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon were beautiful, amazing movies) and Heath Ledger did give a pretty decent performance (he just didn’t have much to work with).

Maybe it gets better after the first 30 minutes, but I don’t think I’m willing to spend the whole 135 minutes to find that out.

Then my friend and I decided to watch pretty much the opposite of Brokeback Mountain – But I’m a Cheerleader. While Brokeback was like this super serious Oscar winner, Cheerleader was this super ridiculous, Willy Wonka (to borrow a phrase from http://floccinaucinihilipilificationa...) that would like never ever be nominated for an Oscar.

AND IT WAS WONDERFUL.

Like, I have never heard of the movie before stumbling upon it 2 days ago. This was basically how I discovered the movie – 1. Was looking up Carlos PenaVega’s filmography because I wanted to see if he has done anything besides Big Time Rush and the upcoming Grease – Live! (answer – not really), 2. Saw he as part of Big Time Rush guest starred on this German soap opera called Hand aufs Herz, 3. Looked up the soap opera on IMDB and saw that people who liked the soap opera also liked But I’m a Cheerleader. I saw the DVD cover (which is honestly kind of terrible) and I was like, what the fuck is this? But then I read the summary – “A naive teenager is sent to rehab camp when her straitlaced parents and friends suspect her of being a lesbian” – and I was intrigued. So I’m like, why the fuck not? & added it to my watch-list.

Then my friend and I decided to watch it today, even though we both thought it was going to be absurd and bad, but WOW, IT WASN’T BAD. It was way better than Brokeback. It was absurd & campy & Willy Wonka, but it was supposed to be. & it was funny & dramatic & sweet & romantic. And surprisingly, most of the characters weren’t caricatures (though they could have easily been). & the movie was progressive as fuck. It made clear how ridiculous Pray the Gay Away camps are, had diversity (!!!), poked fun at gender roles and stereotypes, etc. And the lesbian sex scene was sweet & tender & NOT exploitative (probably because it was directed by a woman, Jamie Babbit, BOO YAH!). The acting was great. And it was ridiculous how this movie was going to be NC-17 before the director had to make some cuts to make it rated R. (Probably product of homophobia.)

And the message is good – it’s okay to be who you are and like who/what you like, and there’s no right way of being a lesbian/straight.

Sucks how Cheerleader wasn’t a box office hit or critical darling like Brokeback was.

Screw the critics!

 

 

 

Kylo Ren, thy name is Little Emo Bitch

Warning: SPOILERS, SPOILERS. SERIOUSLY, SPOILERS.

So I just watched the new Star Wars movie. Disclaimer: I wasn’t a fan of the original trilogy, so for any of you Star Wars devotees, if you want to ignore my opinion, feel free to.

Though you are free to ignore my opinion regardless :P

Though the film had a couple of problems – like pacing & somewhat weak character development (especially for Rey, bad-ass female protagonist though she is. Though I would argue that there was some weak character development in the first Star Wars movie too. Like, honestly, I wouldn’t give a shit if Luke Skywalker died) & blatantly ripping off parts of the original Star Wars (and that’s coming from ME, who is not a fan of the original trilogy and who hasn’t seen the trilogy in a looong time) & shamelessly cashing in on the nostalgic appeal & some real uninspired dialogue – I have to say I liked the film. It was pretty cool (especially since I saw it in IMAX 3D). The effects were spectacular and it just screamed BLOCKBUSTER.

And Han Solo’s death scene was BRUTAL. Kylo Ren, thy name is Little Emo Bitch! You had Princess (now General) motherfucking Leia and Han motherfucking Solo as your parents. How did you turn out to be such a little emo bitch who smashes shit whenever the slightest thing doesn’t go the way you planned? And you killed your DAD, aka who’s like the coolest character in the Star Wars universe.

I cheered so much when he was trying to call Luke’s light-saber to him but instead Rey took it because dude, SHE’S THE CHOSEN ONE, EMO BITCH.

& she’s so obviously Luke’s kid.

I have to say Adam Driver’s (Emo bitch) acting didn’t totally irritate me. He was admittedly pretty decent in the movie. For some reason, I just totally hate him in Girls. Though that could be because he plays a sociopath who’s supposed to be a fucking LOVE INTEREST.

But dudes, five bucks that there will be a love triangle between Rey, Finn, & Kylo Ren. I just sense it for some reason. Could be totally wrong (wouldn’t be the first time, you know), but I sense it.

Other quibbles: Lupita Nyong’o just VOICES someone?! Also, Captain Phasma was under-used, I feel.

But so watching Episode VIII!

I’m going to go against popular opinion and say…

Pulp Fiction is a tad overrated.

Actually, very overrated.

Warning: possible spoilers ahead.

First, I will admit that I wouldn’t have what cinematic snobs would call a great taste in movies. I thought Citizen Kane was boring, and one of my friends called me the type of person who would probably like the Star Wars prequels better than the original trilogy (I’ve never seen the prequels, but I was pretty underwhelmed and bored by the original trilogy. I liked Leia and Han Solo, but I could never get behind Luke Skywalker). Also, I have an unashamed love for movies like Monte Carlo and Frozen. 

But whatever, I like the movies I like and I’m entitled to my own opinion.

Second, I didn’t think Pulp Fiction was bad, and I did like some aspects of it. I just thought it was overrated and I didn’t quite get why people called it one of the best movies of all time.

Also, for people who said Pulp Fiction deserved the Oscar for Best Picture more than Forrest Gump –

(Long digression and technically grammatically incorrect rant: even though I think awards shows like the Oscars are full of bullshit and are basically just a bunch of rich people congratulating themselves and what gives them the fucking right to determine what was the best of the year and I don’t think the awards committees or whatever you want to call them really go out of their way to find the best, most artistic movies because otherwise they would have more less mainstream nominees or more extremely popular films that are great but won’t be recognized because they are too popular – too “plebeian” – or animated or blockbusters or whatever. Like, this year’s Oscar nominees. Weak-sauce. All white actors? Eddie Redmayne and Jennifer Lawrence…again? Like, I watched The Danish Girl and Eddie was good in it, but it didn’t match his performance in The Theory of Everything. And I love J-Law, but I feel like she is being over-exposed and over-acclaimed and there is starting to be a backlash against her.

Though, disclaimer, I haven’t seen most of the Oscar nominees, so they could be really great films and I’m just ranting about nothing. But I feel like the choices weren’t that interesting, minus a few exceptions like Mad Max: Fury Road. & I’m glad Brie Larson is becoming a big star. I remember when she was an aspiring teen pop star.

See, this is why I could never become a professional movie critic. I have too many goddamn digressions)

Forrest Gump is fucking great and better than Pulp Fiction. 

In my opinion.

So anyway, why wasn’t I more amazed by Pulp Fiction? The dialogue kind of frustrated me. I was expecting a lot more action and a lot less…just talking. & for a lot of the movie, they were talking about NOTHING. Burgers in different countries, the appropriateness of a foot massage, who gives a shit? And what they could have said in 2 sentences, they went on for like 10. & the movie was way too long. Way. Too. Long.

Aspects I did like: the segment focusing on Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson was fucking great. Fuck Samuel L. Jackson being nominated for Best SUPPORTING Actor. I would say he was just as much of a lead as John Travolta was.

I don’t know, I guess for me, to be ONE OF THE GREATEST FILMS OF ALL TIME, the movie would have to make me feel…something. Whether that be joy or rage or sadness, just…something. And while some parts of Pulp Fiction brought a smirk to my face or elicited a laugh, it didn’t make me particularly happy. And some parts were shocking, but nothing that would bring me to tears or anger.

But whatever. Maybe I just “didn’t get it.”

Or maybe I just have different taste than most IMDB users.

 

Okay, fine, Miles Teller, you don’t suck

Warning: there be spoilers ahead.

Confession: Before this movie, I had a beef against Miles Teller. Was it completely rational? Ha, ha, not at all. Ultimately, the reason why I didn’t like him was basically, “I just don’t like his face.” & not in a “Oh, I find his face fucking unattractive and ugly” way. More just like I didn’t like his face. Period. It wasn’t like my beef against Lena Dunham, another twenty-something that Hollywood is so desperately trying to make happen (a beef which I think is rational. At first, I really tried to like Lena Dunham. I think people are way too hard on her for the wrong reasons – i.e., because she is not traditionally attractive and what some assholes might call “ugly” or “fat.” I really wanted to like her because I admire her for defying unrealistic beauty standards and for not being ashamed to show off her real naked body. Also, she calls herself a feminist and I thought it was in a way anti-feminist for me to not like her. But in the end, I do not like her. To me, she seems hypocritical and often gives feminism a bad name, and her show Girls just sucks. I could go on and on about the reasons why I don’t like her, but I’ll probably save that for a later blog post if anyone should care about my opinion. & even if no one cares about my opinion).

Anyway, I digress (shocker, right? :P).

TLDR: I thought Miles had a douchey persona and I got a little bit pissed when he was cast as Mr. Fantastic because I was skeptical about his level of talent (though to be honest, I’ve never seen a movie with him besides The Spectacular Now).

So he might or might not be a douche (though I have to say, that Esquire interview certainly didn’t do anything to get rid of the douchey persona), but I will admit that he has talent. He was really believable and even likable as Sutter, a teenager with a serious drinking problem. And Shailene Woodley was great too (who would have guessed that the main character from that horrid show The Secret Life of the American Teenager would turn out to be a talented and hugely famous actress?). Though they were both in their twenties when the movie was filmed, they came across as a real, flawed, but kind-hearted teenagers.

Have to say though that this movie was more drama than comedy. There were some humorous bits, but they were moments that would maybe produce a smile but not hysterical laughter. & some parts were just depressing. More bitter than sweet.

Also, I wish Aimee (Woodley) was less of a pushover and less devoted to Sutter. While I see why she fell in love with Sutter, she should’ve been way more angry after he told her to get out of the car (which resulted in  ANOTHER FUCKING CAR HITTING HER). While yeah, forgiveness is good and great and all, I didn’t like how she just forgave him LIKE THAT and was willing to pretend that nothing ever happened. While he didn’t directly hurt her, his carelessness and thoughtlessness did cause great pain for her (emotional & physical).

& though I typically don’t like ambiguous endings (I WANT WEDDINGS AND JOY AND BABIES AND RAINBOWS, YO), I think the vague conclusion worked for this film and sort of reminded me of the conclusion of The Graduate. Yeah, Sutter comes back to Aimee…but now what? To me, the smile she gives him in the end is hesitant, unsure. She and the audience are not sure if she will get back together with Sutter or not. Because yo, he did hurt her and bailed on her in a huge way. My ideal ending: she gets back together with him…but only after he makes it up to her in a fucking grand and majestic way.

So Miles Teller, you don’t suck.

 

 

 

Historically inaccurate romance

Warning: There be spoilers.

I should probably be reading for my Gender & Sexuality class instead of watching and writing about movies at 2 in the morning, but I’m a procrastinating piece of garbage, so I am going to write my unsolicited thoughts on Anna and the King. (Also, I only have a few days left of my free trial of Netflix, and for me, taking advantage of my free trial takes precedence over schoolwork.

Yeah, I’ve got my priorities straight. #whatamIdoingwithmylife)

At first, I was hesitant about watching this movie because it was really long. I mean, almost 2 and a half hours? I could watch, like, 7 episodes of Bob’s Burgers within that amount of time.

But it was worth pretty much every minute. Also it helped that I didn’t watch all of the movie in one sitting.

To be honest, I don’t give a shit about historical inaccuracies. For Christ’s sake, I watched almost two seasons of Reign, a ridiculous show about the Scottish Queen Mary that values sex and shock value over, well, plot and facts. & I didn’t give up on the show because of the stupid plot/glaringly obvious historical inaccuracies; I quit because it was getting boring and to be honest, I wouldn’t care that much if all of the characters died during the Plague (yes, the show had an actual story-line involving the Plague).

But I digress. I’m not 100% sure if Anna and the King had a lot of historical inaccuracies (though I’m pretty damn sure Anna and the King of Siam did not have a romance in real life), but it probably did if Thailand was offended enough to ban the film (which, feel free to disagree with me, I think was stupid. I don’t believe in censorship in general. I mean, a lot of classic Hollywood movies have some racist/sexist/inaccurate aspects to them, but if they’re good movies -and even if they’re not – that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be shown. Like, philosophers like Plato and Aristotle had some pretty dumb and offensive ideas, but I’m not going to say people shouldn’t read them. Even if I don’t like admitting it, they had some brilliant ideas and even if they didn’t, people could still learn something. Like, what not to do when you’re philosophizing.

Wow, that was a lot longer digression than I thought it would be. Back to the fucking movie).

ANYWAY…

Even if the film was historically inaccurate, I thought it was fucking good. Jodie Foster and Chow Yun Fat were the bomb. And even if it was historically inaccurate, I personally didn’t think the movie was offensive. Anna and the king learned from each other, and the king was portrayed as a brilliant and strong dude.

& oh my god, Draco Malfoy was Anna’s cute son.

I’m such a 21st century kid…

And though I typically don’t like bittersweet romances (I like happy endings and weddings and tears of joy and sweet reunions and rainbow-and-butterflies shit), I thought it worked really well here. (Cheesy and corny mini rant coming your way) THOUGH ANNA AND THE KING COME FROM TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS, THEY HAVE LIKE THE SAME HEART AND SOUL. FUCK, WHY COULDN’T THEY JUST SAY TO HELL WITH CONVENTION AND SMALL MINDED PEOPLE AND PREJUDICE AND JUST FUCKING BE TOGETHER? TO QUOTE TAYLOR SWIFT, BABY, IT’S A LOVE STORY, JUST SAY YES.

*Rant over*

But really, I understood why Anna couldn’t just become the King’s, like, 45th wife. & that’s why I appreciated the bittersweet love story.

Still, the ending killed me a little bit. THEIR LAST DANCE. THE LAST TIME THE KING OF SIAM HELD THE ONE WOMAN HE TRULY LOVED.

Also, have to say, the chemistry between the two main actors was on point. Though they didn’t even kiss, their scenes together were on fire, yo. Like, the romance was so good that I almost wish the movie focused entirely on that instead of less interesting stuff like a brewing war and execution of one of the king’s concubines (I’m only half joking).

Summary : the movie was great.

One day, I’ll have to watch The King and I and compare the two movies.

But I think I already know which one I’ll like better.

 

Thoughts on Anna and the King

Warning: There be spoilers.

I should probably be reading for my Gender & Sexuality class instead of watching and writing about movies at 2 in the morning, but I’m a procrastinating piece of garbage, so I am going to write my unsolicited thoughts on Anna and the King. (Also, I only have a few days left of my free trial of Netflix, and for me, taking advantage of my free trial takes precedence over schoolwork.

Yeah, I’ve got my priorities straight. #whatamIdoingwithmylife)

At first, I was hesitant about watching this movie because it was really long. I mean, almost 2 and a half hours? I could watch, like, 7 episodes of Bob’s Burgers within that amount of time.

But it was worth pretty much every minute. Also it helped that I didn’t watch all of the movie in one sitting.

To be honest, I don’t give a shit about historical inaccuracies. For Christ’s sake, I watched almost two seasons of Reign, a ridiculous show about the Scottish Queen Mary that values sex and shock value over, well, plot and facts. & I didn’t give up on the show because of the stupid plot/glaringly obvious historical inaccuracies; I quit because it was getting boring and to be honest, I wouldn’t care that much if all of the characters died during the Plague (yes, the show had an actual story-line involving the Plague).

But I digress. I’m not 100% sure if Anna and the King had a lot of historical inaccuracies (though I’m pretty damn sure Anna and the King of Siam did not have a romance in real life), but it probably did if Thailand was offended enough to ban the film (which, feel free to disagree with me, I think was stupid. I don’t believe in censorship in general. I mean, a lot of classic Hollywood movies have some racist/sexist/inaccurate aspects to them, but if they’re good movies -and even if they’re not – that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be shown. Like, philosophers like Plato and Aristotle had some pretty dumb and offensive ideas, but I’m not going to say people shouldn’t read them. Even if I don’t like admitting it, they had some brilliant ideas and even if they didn’t, people could still learn something. Like, what not to do when you’re philosophizing.

Wow, that was a lot longer digression than I thought it would be. Back to the fucking movie).

ANYWAY…

Even if the film was historically inaccurate, I thought it was fucking good. Jodie Foster and Chow Yun Fat were the bomb. And even if it was historically inaccurate, I personally didn’t think the movie was offensive. Anna and the king learned from each other, and the king was portrayed as a brilliant and strong dude.

& oh my god, Draco Malfoy was Anna’s cute son.

I’m such a 21st century kid…

And though I typically don’t like bittersweet romances (I like happy endings and weddings and tears of joy and sweet reunions and rainbow-and-butterflies shit), I thought it worked really well here. (Cheesy and corny mini rant coming your way) THOUGH ANNA AND THE KING COME FROM TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS, THEY HAVE LIKE THE SAME HEART AND SOUL. FUCK, WHY COULDN’T THEY JUST SAY TO HELL WITH CONVENTION AND SMALL MINDED PEOPLE AND PREJUDICE AND JUST FUCKING BE TOGETHER? TO QUOTE TAYLOR SWIFT, BABY, IT’S A LOVE STORY, JUST SAY YES.

*Rant over*

But really, I understood why Anna couldn’t just become the King’s, like, 45th wife. & that’s why I appreciated the bittersweet love story.

Still, the ending killed me a little bit. THEIR LAST DANCE. THE LAST TIME THE KING OF SIAM HELD THE ONE WOMAN HE TRULY LOVED.

Also, have to say, the chemistry between the two main actors was on point. Though they didn’t even kiss, their scenes together were on fire, yo. Like, the romance was so good that I almost wish the movie focused entirely on that instead of less interesting stuff like a brewing war and execution of one of the king’s concubines (I’m only half joking).

Summary : the movie was great.

One day, I’ll have to watch The King and I and compare the two movies.

But I think I already know which one I’ll like better.

 

A sweet movie about a man and his sex doll

Warning: Beware of spoilers.

First off, I have to say, I LOVE this movie. I don’t give a shit what anyone says, Ryan Gosling is an amazing actor and he deserves a lot more credit than people give him.

This movie really surprised me. The people behind this film could have easily taken it in a super creepy and gross direction. I mean, a movie about a guy buying a sex doll? I was expecting uncomfortable and icky sex scenes, and the protagonist being a pervert.

But wow, Lars actually turned out to be a really likable and sweet guy. He treated Bianca (the sex doll) as if she were a real person with her own desires and needs. Surprisingly not a sexist film.

And it was great to see him interact with people more and to see him grow. I rooted for the guy and cheered whenever he made progress.

& it was crazy how I actually felt sad when Bianca “died.” & if I was more philosophical and/or more of an intellectual douche bag, I would have asked faux(?)-philosophical questions like, “What is a real person anyway? Do you have to be alive in the physical sense to be a person? Etc.”

For a super sexy guy, Ryan Gosling plays the bumbling shy awkward guy really well. God, I cringed whenever Lars did something to make people uncomfortable (but also sympathized with the dude. Awkward nerds unite!)

& this movie actually restored my faith in humanity somewhat (though my cynical self doubts that this movie could have happened in real life. Come on, no town could possibly be that understanding and full of kind folks). No one in the film treated Lars badly for his delusion. Instead, they grew to care for Bianca like Lars did.

TLDR: See this movie, yeah.

Thoughts on Lars and the Real Girl

Warning: Beware of spoilers.

First off, I have to say, I LOVE this movie. I don’t give a shit what anyone says, Ryan Gosling is an amazing actor and he deserves a lot more credit than people give him.

This movie really surprised me. The people behind this film could have easily taken it in a super creepy and gross direction. I mean, a movie about a guy buying a sex doll? I was expecting uncomfortable and icky sex scenes, and the protagonist being a pervert.

But wow, Lars actually turned out to be a really likable and sweet guy. He treated Bianca (the sex doll) as if she were a real person with her own desires and needs. Surprisingly not a sexist film.

And it was great to see him interact with people more and to see him grow. I rooted for the guy and cheered whenever he made progress.

& it was crazy how I actually felt sad when Bianca “died.” & if I was more philosophical and/or more of an intellectual douche bag, I would have asked faux(?)-philosophical questions like, “What is a real person anyway? Do you have to be alive in the physical sense to be a person? Etc.”

For a super sexy guy, Ryan Gosling plays the bumbling shy awkward guy really well. God, I cringed whenever Lars did something to make people uncomfortable (but also sympathized with the dude. Awkward nerds unite!)

& this movie actually restored my faith in humanity somewhat (though my cynical self doubts that this movie could have happened in real life. Come on, no town could possibly be that understanding and full of kind folks). No one in the film treated Lars badly for his delusion. Instead, they grew to care for Bianca like Lars did.

TLDR: See this movie, yeah.

I identify too much with Socially Awkward Bee

Oh my fucking God, I spent TWO HOURS on Tumblr instead of writing my final paper for Civ. What the fuck is wrong with me?!

In my defense, though, http://floccinaucinihilipilificationa... is seriously awesome. I love this artist’s comics. Dragon Bros, Potato John and Sherlock, Harry Potter, Fucking Nancy…

But most of all, I love Socially Awkward Bee/ Lame Selfie Bee.

It’s because I identify with the bee way too much.

The neurotic thoughts, the crippling insecurity…so me.

I REMEMBER EMBARRASSING SHIT FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AND LITERALLY CRINGE AT HOW FUCKING STUPID/AWKWARD/NERDY I WAS.

God, I have zero social grace. Sometimes, I avoid people I know just to avoid interacting with them. DO I SAY HI? BUT THAT WOULD BE AWKWARD. DO I PRETEND I DON’T SEE THEM? BUT THAT’S JUST FUCKING RUDE. DO I GO THE OTHER DIRECTION? BUT THAT’S JUST COWARDLY.

Sometimes, I even do this with friends. FRIENDS.

But with friends, I am especially neurotic.

A typical message exchange for me –

Me – Could we hang out?

A minute passes. I see they’re online. What the fuck? They’re online and ignoring me. OH MY GOD, THEY HATE ME. NO ONE LIKES ME. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I WILL DIE ALONE. I’M A LOSER. OH MY GOD, I WANT TO DIE –

Friend – I would love to!

Thank God. I do have friends. I’M NOT A FRIENDLESS LOSER.

Me – When do you want to hang out?

A minute passes. Oh my God, they’re online and they’re ignoring me. What the fuck? Never mind, I don’t have friends. I’M A LOSER AND I WANT TO DIE AND NO ONE LIKES ME AND –

Yeah, you don’t want to be in my head.