Lily Ableman's Blog, page 6

FALLING UNDER HIS SPELL is done!

Sorry I didn’t meet the self-imposed deadline of December 31, 2014, you all.

At least I met my second self-imposed deadline of January 3, 2015.

FALLING UNDER HIS SPELL is officially done! I did my best to fix any typos, but as I was watching AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER (which, like, seriously is the best show ever) while editing, there may be a few glaring errors I’ve missed. Feel free to tell me if that is the case.

Approximately 16,800 words of (hopefully) fun and sexiness.

Now available on Smashwords for 99 cents (please buy! Please buy!):

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/506940

UPDATE 1/3/2015: Now available on Amazon for 99 cents (please buy! Please buy!):

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00RQSA54U

The novella will hopefully be in Smashwords’ premium catalog within a few days and will be available at more e-book retailers.

Thanks, you all.

From the Most Unreliable Indie Author Ever

Don’t know if I’ll be able to finish Falling Under His Spell before the end of the year, you all. So far, I’m at around 14,000 words. I’m planning to write only a few more chapters, but I’m not sure if it’ll be done before 2015 arrives.

Probably not. You know me. Unreliable indie author. Procrastinator.

But the novella shall be done within the few next days. Promise. Unless an apocalypse comes or something.

SORRY, YOU ALL!

So many things have been distracting me.

*K-dramas: Pinocchio is getting good again! And I can see why Full House captured the hearts of over 40% of South Korea. It’s cute and Rain has soooo many glorious and unnecessary shirtless scenes.

*Movies I watched as a kid: Just re-watched the Disney Channel movie Model Behavior. Wow, Justin Timberlake’s acting was sooooo bad. And Janine was pretty bitchy. And re-watched Quest for Camelot. Wow, that movie was not good. I did not have any taste as a kid. The songs were so random and I couldn’t stop focusing on the villain’s tick. And zero chemistry between the two leads.

*Be My Princess App: God, if this game had unlimited love passes, I don’t think I would be able to stop myself from playing this all day. So cheesy but so addictive. It’s like every teenage girl’s fantasy. Who doesn’t want attention from 6 hot princes? Currently playing Joshua’s route. He’s such an asshole. But pretty hot for an anime character.

(But note: seriously, girls, no amount of hotness is worth putting up with a douche bag in real life.)

Don’t judge me.

Yeah, I’ll stop blogging and continue writing now. Peace, you all.

Watching TV

I’m currently on winter break, which means it’s time for plenty of mindless TV watching.

Stuff I’m currently watching (possible spoilers ahead):

*Reign:

I’m glad to say this show is still ridiculous as fuck. Three episodes into the second season, and already I’ve been treated to a totally historically inaccurate plague, a revenge-hungry noble, pointless sex scenes (so. Much. Skin!), the spirit of a dead king taking over the body of a harmless little nanny, and an abundance of historically inaccurate dresses. Seriously, did they show that much cleavage and shoulder back then? I think not (then again, I’m no historian, so I could be wrong).

Then again, this is a show about the French court yet all the actors have English accents, so if you’re looking for historical accuracy, you definitely ain’t going to find it here.

For God’s sake, the show even plays indie and pop music at times. One time, the orchestra was playing fucking “Royals” by Lorde.

The writing for this show is still shoddy as hell, but I’m still entertained, though my sisters wonder why.

*The Vampire Diaries:

This show used to have a special place in my heart… Oh, who am I kidding? This show still has a special place in my heart. I’ve practically grown up with the show. I remember watching the pilot episode and being bored by it. Then, for some reason, I decided to continue watching the show. Then, somewhere halfway through the first season, I started loving it because it was actually getting really good and it was SOOO much better than stupid Twilight (though that too still has a special place in my heart). And I went through so many emotions during the first three seasons. I loved and hated Damon, felt like crying when Elena cried, started caring about the supporting characters (which I rarely do when it comes to TV shows), and greatly anticipated each episode. Then somewhere during the fourth season, I noticed the quality was slipping. Elena was becoming more unlikable, the writing wasn’t as good as previous seasons, some episodes were even BORING, and god, the fucking sire bond!

Then the fifth season…Jesus fucking Christ. Elena, what happened to the compassionate girl you used to be? And Damon, what happened to the fun sociopathic hot guy you used to be? Now you’re just a fucking psychopath serial killer.

I’m not going to lie. I used to ship Delena. Yes, Damon was an asshole, but during the first few seasons, I truly believed he loved Elena and would do anything for her. The whole world would fucking burn, but if she was okay, he would be fine with it. And I believed that if they did get together, he would change for her and genuinely want to become a better man.

But then they did get together. And that definitely didn’t happen.

Instead, the relationship was so fucking abusive. And Elena became this pathetic spineless girl who was okay with Damon’s psychopathic serial killing ways. The writers completely assassinated both of their characters and ruined what could have been an epic love story.

And now the sixth season… Oh God, it’s so bad. Elena, GET OVER DAMON. Damon was an abusive psychopath who murdered innocent CHILDREN. Yes, he’s hot, but as Damon said in that horrifically bad breakup speech, HE’S BAD FOR YOU.

And I thought Elena would get better when she had her memories of her supposedly epic love story with Damon removed. But she’s still so SHALLOW. Like a super annoying Katherine-lite.

And honestly, someone needs to kill Enzo. That guy needs to go.

At this point, the only way the writers could possibly salvage the show is if they made a storyline in which the fourth, fifth, and sixth seasons NEVER happened. Delena can happen if they do it right, if Elena maintained her compassion for people besides her fucking boyfriend and longing for her humanity, and Damon changed for HER and if his change is not so incredibly dependent on how Elena feels toward him. Damon needs to genuinely become a better person.

Or we could just stick with Stelena. That would be nice too.

*Pinocchio:

This K-drama is pretty damn good! The chemistry between the two leads is fantastic, and the male lead is so sweet! So much better than Park Shin Hye’s last drama Heirs. And even better, she’s not playing one of those stock hardworking good girl roles. Her character here actually has a personality and spark! She’s funny, smart, and honest to a fault.

And the show can actually get kind of deep by showing the consequences of faulty journalism. And the villain here is actually – gasp! – complex.

So far, so good.

I binge-watched 8 episodes in one day and I didn’t regret a single second of it.

*Jane the Virgin:

I’m not going to lie. When I first heard about this show, I thought it was going to be stupid as fuck. A girl accidentally getting artificially inseminated with the sperm of a married man who will later fall in love with her? Gag.

But this show is actually funny and so damn charming.

The protagonist Jane is incredibly likable, down to earth, and sweet yet strong. And even the supporting characters are likable. Yes, initially, Jane’s mother is seen as an irresponsible single mom who got knocked up as a teenager, but we later discover she has mad love for her daughter and is actually a great mother. And I actually like Michael. His interaction with his brother made him seem kind of fishy, but so far, he is actually pretty sweet. Yeah, he says the wrong thing sometimes, but he seems to truly care for Jane and his heart is in the right place (well, from what I could see in the first two episodes). So I’m going to feel bad when he is going to get dumped, because come on, he is going to get dumped when Jane inevitably falls for Rafael, the sexy, rich father of the baby she’s carrying. (My reaction when I saw Rafael’s shirtless selfie: DAMN.)

This show so deserves the Golden Globe nominations.

Yes, I’ve been accomplishing a lot, ha, ha…

Studying for my Social Science Final

Of course I blog more often when I really should be studying for my finals.

Procrastination is my life, man.

Anyway, I have a Social Science final tomorrow, which I think is really lame. Most social science classes at UChicago either have 3 papers, or 2 papers with the option of taking a final exam or writing a final paper. My Classics class…3 papers AND a non-optional final exam.

Thanks, professor.

Anyway, for this blog post, I will try to multitask. I shall re-read (or in some cases, read for the first time) my Social Science readings in order to prepare for my exam and blog about it.

Get ready for my valuable (ha!) thoughts.

Also, special thank you to Shmoop, a site that allows me to skim some of my Social Science readings when I really have no fucking clue what Plato is trying to communicate.

The Republic by Plato:

*Uggggh, so boring.

*Ha, I used to take detailed notes at the beginning of the quarter. I used to give a shit about academics. Oh, man… I even read the footnotes of Allan Bloom’s translation. Ha, ha, old me, you were a nerd.

*”WHAT IS JUSTICE?” How am I supposed to know?

*Socrates, shut up. Cephalus, no wonder you left. How I wish I could leave with you.

*Lord, I’m even skimming the Shmoop summaries. This is a problem.

*Socrates: “I’m going to ask for definitions from you just so I can tell you everything that’s wrong with your answers because I am a pretentious jackass who loves to talk, ha, ha, ha, LOL, LMFAO!”

*The Noble Lie: We’re all children of Mother Earth, you all. And while you is a mere bronze child and thus destined to obey me, I am a golden child. I don’t get to own private property, but I gets to make the laws!

This is total bullshit.

*Thrasymachus is getting pissed off at Socrates’s  babbling. Oh, ho, ho. Man, I feel you. Too bad you’re a total jackass though.

*You speechless, Socrates? HA, HA, I WISH.

*Uggggh, I just want to go back to sleep. Blah, blah, blah…

*The best ruler is the ruler who doesn’t want to rule.

So what does that say about presidential campaigns…?

*”I should be president because all of you are morons who would be awful at ruling and I’m your least bad option.” BEST CAMPAIGN EVER.

*Factions=terrible. Okay.

*Why is this shit so well-esteemed?

*College=beneficial drudgery

*I should do a blog post while drunk. That would be so much fun.

*THE HOBBIT AND THE LORD OF THE RINGS.

*Appearances are everything, my man.

*Man, poets are being majorly dissed. I dislike poetry as much as the next person, but I would rather read poetry than this shit.

*Ruling is kind of a terrible job (look at President Obama. My, how that man has aged).

*Accept my bribes, er, sacrifices, gods!

*Essential needs:

1) Food – a woman’s got to eat, you all.

2) Housing – we civilized people need comfort.

3) Clothing – we all can’t go walking around naked. Plus, we need us some protection from Chicago winters.

*So a dog has a philosophical nature… Okay.

*YOLO.

*Socrates is in favor of censorship. Ooooh, hell to the no.

*These stories that Socrates would want to be told in his republic would be such a snooze-fest. Who wants to read about perfect, morally flawless people?

*Yo, mourning a loved one is bad. At least according to Socrates.

So be emotionless you all if you want to be intelligent.

This is bullshit.

*Ag, I’m going to go back to Buzzfeed.

Falling Under His Spell

I’ve read a few articles that said promotion doesn’t really help indie authors sell books or at least promotion doesn’t help as much as, you know, writing more.

So I’m going to write more. No more crazy promotion.

Not like crazy promotion was really helping me sell books anyway. Promotion can only help so much when you’re not willing to spend the monies for advertising.

I’m going to take a break from Devil in an Armani Suit for a little while. I’m still going to say the expected publication date is December 15, 2015 because I don’t expect writing the book will take me more than a year even with a break.

Then again, I thought I would get Bitter Candy done before September 15…

WELL, I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY PROMISES, BUT I WILL DO MY DAMN BEST TO MEET THE DEADLINE I SET FOR MYSELF.

So what will I be writing in the meantime instead of Devil?

A novella entitled Falling Under His Spell.

Summary:

A sexy (I hope!) new adult contemporary romance novella with an over the top alpha male.

Taylor Gray – beautiful, kind, independent.

Chase Eastwick – sexy, selfish, possessive.

Let the chase begin…

Taylor Gray thinks her beauty is a curse. Because of it, she has received a lot of unwanted attention from some unsavory guys. Chase Eastwick is no exception. Although he possesses ridiculously good looks, Taylor wants nothing to do with the jerk whom is unwilling to take no for an answer and does not get the concept of personal space.

But Chase soon becomes the only person she can turn to for help.

Unfortunately, however, his help comes with strings attached…

As you can probably tell from the inclusion of an over the top alpha male, this novella probably won’t be the most politically correct thing you ever read.

(Then again, what erotica/contemporary romances are totally politically correct?)

I expect this novella to be something akin to the works of Lynda Chance. Probably less intense but hopefully just as hot.

So far, I’m at 3,800 words! Far from my goal of 20,000 to 40,000 words but getting there!

I’m planning to finish this novella before the end of the year and sell it for 99 cents. But you know me, I might not meet the deadline I set for myself.

In the meantime, you can read what I’ve posted on Fictionpress:

https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3225614/1/Falling-Under-His-Spell-New-Adult-Alpha-Male-Romance

Talk to you later, nonexistent audience.

Studying Playlist

1. Future Islands – Doves

If you like indie music, you should really listen to the whole album. It’s fabulous.

2. Banks – Waiting Game

So dark. I love it.

“The way you make me feel all sexy but it’s causing me shame”

3. Cute is What We Aim For – Risque

When I used to be an emo kid. I still love the song.

Apparently, they’re now a band again??? Kind of excited even though I thought Rotation was a disappointment. Hopefully, the new songs will be as catchy as the songs on the first album and contain the biting but clever lyrics.

4. LCD Soundsystem – All My Friends

I’m only 19 and this song is definitely not about youth, but I still want to cry a little bit whenever I hear this song. Is adulthood all about longing to have fun with your friends and never living up to the dreams of your youth?

“I wouldn’t trade one stupid decision/

For another five years of life”

5. Ellie Goulding – Explosions

Most of the time, I’m glad I’ve never experienced heartbreak. But sometimes, I wish I’ve loved…even if I would eventually lose it.

“It’s okay to be afraid/

But it will never be the same/

It will never be the same.”

UGH, WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THE PRETENTIOUS DICK I HAVE A CRUSH ON? My little crush (okay, lust bordering on obsession) is NOTHING compared to the love that Ellie Goulding lost.

But alas…

Fuck, I am going to read his blog.

Okay, I REALLY should be studying.

The Frustrations of Online Dating, Crushes, Finals Week, etc.

*It’s finals week, so I really should be studying instead of blogging. But hey, one of my vices is procrastination, okay?

Vector spaces can wait.

*The frustrations of online dating:

At first, Tinder was fun, but now, I’m kind of growing tired of it. Because of the app, I learned what “DTF” means.

Message to guys: “dtf?” can NOT be your first message. Not even on a hookup app. First of all, you should get to know a girl’s last name before asking to have sex with her. Second of all, this slang shows a lack of respect. Not to mention laziness. You really couldn’t be bothered to type actual words? And third of all, this type of message will more likely result in a “Fuck you” than the kind of fucking you want.

Ugh, whatever happened to romance? Seriously. Hell, whatever happened to wit? I tried flirting with this guy.

Me: What are you thankful for this year? ;)

Guy: I’m thankful that we got matched so I could possibly get an opportunity for you to suck my dick ;)

Disgusting.

I’m pretty sure this smug fuck thought he was being witty or clever or whatever. GOD. First of all, lack of respect, again. Second of all, you don’t even know my last name, again. Third of all, just plain selfishness. Seriously, your first move is to ask for a girl to give you oral sex in order to give YOU pleasure? How about you offer me some pleasure, douche-wad?

For the record, though, dudes, don’t let your first message actually be “Want me to eat your pussy?” You might mean well, but you’ll probably come off like a creepy Jack the Ripper type instead of a dude who’s all about sexual reciprocation.

*Crushes: I’m currently suffering a major crush. Uggggggh.

Worse, I think this is my first real crush. Sure, I’ve always thought some boys were cute and I did have a more than platonic interest in a guy from my dorm last year. But with those crushes, I’ve always felt like I had some control. I wasn’t truly obsessed. I could stop myself from thinking about them. And I knew why I was attracted to them and why I should be attracted to them.

But this crush…I feel like I have NO control.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t help looking at his Facebook and his Twitter. I can’t help reading his pretentious-ass blog. His photos and statuses keep showing up on my Facebook feed because he’s friends with some of my friends at UChicago.

It’s sickening, I know.

Worse, I know why I SHOULD NOT be attracted to him. He’s a pretentious dick. He’s arrogant, and always referring to his social media fame and how he writes for these various publications.

But alas, I’m into him.

Worse, my friend pointed this out to me after I kept talking about this pretentious douche.

Uggggh.

I even dream about him. I had a seriously vivid and detailed dream about hooking up with him.

Sadly, I felt a vague sense of disappointment when I woke up.

Why am I attracted to him? Sure, he’s physically attractive. But it’s not like he’s irresistibly hot (as my friends point out). And I’ve seen more attractive guys at UChicago (okay, one) who are a lot nicer and less pretentious.

I don’t even know him that well. We’ve only met a few times through our mutual friends and we’ve never really even had a conversation (he’s also forgotten my name more than once. The fuck). I don’t even know if he knows my name (my friend has told me he does, but I don’t know).

It’s disgusting and I just want this crush to die. But for some reason, it’s getting STRONGER. Why?????

I’ll get over this shit. Hopefully.

*Finals week:

Looking at my math notes, I think, Why do I want to be a math major again? Fuck you, linear algebra.

I hope I get at least a B in the class.

Nutritional Science…ha, ha, ha. I’ll probably pass the class, but my grade probably won’t be too stellar. I’ve skipped multiple WEEKS of classes and I don’t really put any effort at all into the class. Oh well. Motivation will come back to me someday.

Social Science…ugh. I hope I get a B, but I have to not fuck up this final. Though to be honest, I’ll be fine with just passing. C’s get degrees!

Sleep is for the weak. Long live caffeine.

*Music:

Why is everyone dumping on Foster the People’s album Supermodel? Entertainment Weekly even called it some of the year’s worst music! Am I the only one who thought the album was pretty damn good? “Are You What You Want to Be”? “Coming of Age”? “A Beginner’s Guide to Destroying the Moon”? Was calling it one of the worst albums of 2014 EW.com’s lame attempt to be hipster? I mean, there’s no fucking way it’s nearly as bad as “#Selfie.”

(Speaking of another Selfie from pop culture…I’m going to miss the show. It was cute and funny, damn it! And an Asian-American guy as the romantic lead???? COME ON!)

Current Playlist:

1. Taylor Swift – Blank Space

Didn’t like this song that much at first. Then I listened to the lyrics. And watched the music video. And fell in love with the song. Swift, you are my queen.

2. Style

Another 1989 gem.

3. New Romantics

Why was this a bonus track and not an album track????

4. One Direction – Clouds

A more mature, less poppy One Direction. Can’t say I don’t dig it.

5. Stockholm Syndrome

6. Foster the People – A Beginner’s Guide to Destroying the Moon

Fuck you, Entertainment Weekly.

7. Jason Mraz – Everywhere

8. The Strokes – Soma

9. Banks – Drowning

Okay, I have to say I dig the whole album. Soooo good.

Okay, that’s all for now. See you next time, imaginary audience.

Adventures with Online Dating

Okay, online dating. Yeah, I know a lot of people see it as pathetic. But hey, I see it as another way of trying to meet people. And okay, yeah, perhaps I’m a little more confident online than in person (I’m socially awkward, okay!).

So far, I’ve tried Tinder and OKCupid. Both free apps, by the way because I ain’t paying for the remote chance of finding my soul mate. Just like I ain’t paying for advertising for the remote chance of more people buying my book.

Tinder:

Ah, yes, the notorious hookup app. Surprisingly (and thankfully), I haven’t received solicitations for booty calls. There’s no shame in liking casual sex, but that life isn’t for me. Call me a romantic :P

A little more than a week on Tinder and I’ve scored two phone numbers and an invitation to smoke. Unfortunately, the two phone numbers weren’t worth scoring. Here’s a sample conversation I had via text:

Me: What do you like to do in your spare time?

Dude: Nothing and u

Me: NOTHING? So all you do is eat, study, drink, and sleep? I like to watch movies, write a little bit, and listen to music

Dude: Nice

Seriously, dude??? I mean, at least try to be interesting. God.

And I didn’t accept the invitation to smoke, but I did invite the smoker for a coffee date because I thought we had a great conversation on Tinder. Unfortunately, the great Tinder conversation did not translate to great real life conversation and the coffee date was SO. NOT. A. DATE. I’m talking ZERO romantic vibes and ZERO sexual tension.

I’m still attempting to start up conversations on Tinder though. But I’m learning to keep my expectations low.

OKCupid:

Despite this being known as a more serious dating app, I think it’s way less legit. I’ve seen MULTIPLE profiles in which guys use pictures of Sean O’Pry. Sorry, dudes, but you all can’t be that hot and I’m pretty sure none of you are that sexy guy from the “Blank Space” music video.

I’ve only been on the app for a day, and already, I’m in conversations with 2 guys. The conversations aren’t the stuff of soul mates, but I’m still enjoying myself. And okay, they boost my self esteem a tiny bit :) I’ve been called pretty and smart. I’m vain, all right?

Don’t know if any of this online shit will lead me to new romantic heights, but it never hurts to keep trying, right?

But seriously, I would like to have my first kiss already. I’m 19. This is getting ridiculous.

Spreading the Indie Author Love

When you’re an indie author, promotion is a bitch.

So, in the spirit of spreading some indie author love, I’m going to highlight some indie books and authors I enjoyed.

Lynda Chance

Warning: if you’re a hardcore feminist, do NOT read these books. Chance’s “heroes” are often arrogant as fuck jackasses, pretty sexist, controlling, possessive, and incapable of respecting boundaries. But if you do like an over the top alpha male (which, for some reason, I do), check out Marco’s Redemption, Sarah’s Surrender, and His Indecent Proposal. In real life, I would probably slap the shit out of the male protagonists, but I like to read about them. What can I say? I find these books hot.

(Don’t judge me.)

The Opportunist by Tarryn Fisher

This book is guilty of many shitty New Adult tropes: slut-shaming, cheating, a “hero” who needs to fucking man up, mind games, and crappy friends. BUT, unlike many New Adult books, it is well written and the female protagonist is definitely no Mary Sue (she has issues, man).

And although the drama can get exhausting, it is usually entertaining as hell and you can definitely finish the book in one sitting.

Courtney Milan

Her Brothers Sinister series is soooo romantic. If you like happy endings, likable heroines and heroes, and good writing, read these books.

For other indie book recommendations, check out my “spreading the indie author love” shelf on my Goodreads profile.

http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/9276426-lily-ableman?shelf=spreading-the-indie-author-love

Spread the love, you all.

I Seriously Need to Stop Fucking Around

Oh my Jesus Christ, I am not getting my academic shit done.

Instead of reading The Republic by Plato last night, I ended up going to dinner with a friend and staying in his room until three in the fucking morning. We watched Hocus Pocus (wonderful movie, by the way), talked about filming a gender reversed “Backpacker Bush” video, and ate a good ass meal. I had vegetable soup, so much bread, a steak and fries, vegetables, apple pie, and vanilla ice cream. I could barely walk afterwards, but I don’t regret a single damn thing!

And today, instead of doing my math problem set, I ended up eating curry and a carton of strawberry cheesecake ice cream at some of my other friends’ apartment.

I HAVE TO STOP EATING SO MUCH.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, and I need to finish that math problem set.

And study for two midterms on Monday. D: D: D:

Fucking college.

Fucking me.

And I haven’t updated Devil in an Armani Suit in such a long time. AG.

BTW, please check out the first three chapters on either Wattpad or Fictionpress:

https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3217065/1/Devil-in-an-Armani-Suit

http://www.wattpad.com/story/23893039-devil-in-an-armani-suit

More will come eventually.

At least I’m selling some copies of Bitter Candy on Amazon and making a little money. Sure, I shouldn’t drop out of college and pursue a writing career, but it’s a little extra pocket change.

If only we could all be literary sensations like E.L. James…