Vivienne Craft's Blog, page 9

I am super Agg….

MMkay so I was a victim of identity theft today and trying to fix it is a big ass headache. I came home to my dog sitting in a big ass mess.�� I had to clean it up. Clean her kennel. Give her a bath.�� Mop the floor.�� Vacuum the carpet. And then clean the bathroom from her bath.

Today has been a big ass disaster.

 

Can I get away…..Oh wait I can’t. Thieves stole my money.

~VC

Kate Plus 8 is coming back!

I know I may be in the minority here but I am so excited about Kate coming back to TV. She gives me hope that I can get my shit together with my two kids.

I love her. And even though her time on Celebrity Apprentice is revealing her as a dumb blonde, I still think she is a genius.

I love the way she handles herself and her kids and does what it takes to raise and provide for her million kids. She can’t depend on her deadbeat ass ex-husband. He can’t even hold down a job as a waiter.

Anyhoo, I’ll be watching.

~VC

Peaks and Valley’s….Dip it low

So I talk to women about how to get your sexy back and how to get that spark back in your relationship. I also am very honest and talk about the Peaks and Valleys in a relationship….sexually.

I’m going through a valley right now.�� My hubbs and I are not doing the do. I know–gasp right? Vivienne Craft is not sexing?�� But like I explain to my women….Shit happens.

I was sick. Like really sick for weeks and before that I was feeling like straight trash.�� I am just now starting to get my mojo back.

I do feel guilty about not hooking my dude up. I am working on it though. I am following my own advice and doing the things I need to feel sexy again and get back to my old self.

Funny thing is that I used to have a strict threshold of getting it in. If I went past two weeks without getting served I started to go crazy. Like I started to have crazy sexual thoughts and made plans to rape my husband. You don’t want to know what kind of sexual nonsense I think of during those times. LOL Maybe you do want to know. *bobs eyebrows*

But man this is probably the longest point in which I have gone without getting laid. Like since I have been with the hubbs. I’m talking almost 20 years.

This is effecting in me more ways than one. I get inspired to write my books from my husband so if I’m not having sex, I ain’t writing about having sex. That is super no bueno.

So what am I doing to get back into the “mood”. Number one is making sure I get over this sickness fully.�� Second is getting back into my fitness routine. I worked out for the first time yesterday in like a month. I felt like I was going to die.

Another thing is I hate the winter and the cold. I tend to get a little blue because I can’t wear my uniform of short shorts and a tank. And I stop shaving. (TMI) not on purpose but because it’s cold in my bathroom and I am doing the best I can just to shower and be naked in there.

Anyhoo….I’m about to break my streak and get back to my sexual normal. I’ll keep you updated.

~VC.

Friendly Friendly Friends

Okay So I have a lot of friends. I’m blessed that way but I swear sometimes I want to shake them. They make me feel like a toy for their amusement. LOL�� But I love them anyway.

I started this blog off with I have a lot of friends because I’m preparing myself for all the texts and whatnot I’m gonna get with “Are you talking about me?” type anger in them.

Chances are no, I’m not talking about you.

I don’t understand how I can have friends that constantly use me to get through their tough times… They call me for advice or just support on a daily basis and then BOOM!!! Things get better for them and then I don’t hear from them. They get ghost like Casper.

Now I understand not wanting to talk to someone because I am�� the queen of that but damn I see you doing your thang with other people and I hear about you hanging with random folk and “Thanking God” for such and such but no mention of me.�� Really? I’m not hating because that ain’t on my agenda but damn boo.

Then your shit blows up and you’re back to calling me? Anyhoo, the downside to being me is that I as long as I call you friend, I am loyal til the end. So the next time you need me….I’m there.

Although…..once you make it to the other side. (To my shit list ) I never look back. LOL

I love y’all anyway.

~VC

Quickie #6

This one is a real quickie. I just want to shout out to the growing number of people on my timeline that post to imaginary people.

Example:

“He knows me…”

Yet you ain’t posted about, been seen with, rumored to been with a dude in real life or on the interwebs….. They must be talking about Jesus.

Example:

“She is bringing me what I like tonight.”

Yet….

I don’t even have to finish that statement.

What about all the beware of haters posts. You have to do something interesting to get hated on. Just saying.

Anyhoo….I have seen the number of these growing exponentially. I’m going to start commenting on all of them.�� “Who are you talking about?”

VC

New Year New Me….LOL

Okay so we are in January and that is when people start with all their resolutions. This is not a blog that is dissing that. I can’t understand why people are rolling their eyes over people wanting to be better. The eyes need to be rolled at the folk who do nothing to stick to the resolutions.

My personal belief is that if you make the goals you are that much closer to achieving them.

I am a goal oriented person. So every year I make a list of goals for the year and then I take my inventory at the end of the year.

I kicked ass in 2014 and I plan on making 2015 my BITCH! So before you Robert Downey Jr. eye roll someone for their New Year New Me declarations, why don’t you try making a list and checking it twice.

After all if you are not moving forward, you’re falling backwards.

Just my two cents.

~VC

 

This is personal

Okay so this may be my most personal blog yet….

My last blog started some interesting conversations about men in society and whether or not I think they are all assholes. I have pissed off some dudes.

Sorry. Not Sorry.

As I told one of my good friends, no I don’t think all men are assholes. Despite how my blog touched some people, I am not man bashing. I’m simply saying women should be treated well and unfortunately our society is moving away from that.  From the women I know (and some of the men who be snitching on themselves), being a good man in the realm of relationships is not number one. But putting that all aside, I do know some good ones.

My brother, for instance, is seriously one the best men I know. Is he perfect? Um NO! But he is perfect in his imperfections.  He is hard working, loves his children, loves his wife and takes care of them all. Not to mention is he is a good looking tall drink of water.

My best friend’s husband is a good man who also loves his wife and daughter. (Believes me when I tell you he can’t get enough of his wife. LOL)

My husband is one. Is he perfect…..HElls NAw! But he is also a hard working man who loves me and his children and takes care of us. He spends time showing us every day that he loves us.

When I was growing up I never really got to know my father and when I was grown and able seek out a relationship he died.  I think about that all the time. Like how my life could have been different if he’d been there with me. I made a vow that when I had a child I would take my time to choose the right man to be her father. I never told anyone that but it’s the truth. I got married young and I waited six years after I was married to have a child just to make sure. But I see how much my husband loves my daughter and I know she will NEVER have to wonder what her life would be like with her father.  She has him and she will have him whether or not I have him. And that is the highest compliment I can give to that man who is my husband.

So see? I love men. More importantly, I love MY man. Not all of you guys are bad….But the one’s who are need a swift kick in the jank.

 

~VC

I feel like…You’re stupid.

Okay soooo…. I have been feeling like straight trash. I had a cold then got over that and then I caught the flu and then last night I had the WORST case of insomnia ever so Happy Holidays to me.

But as always my life is entertainment at it’s fullest.

I have men fans Who knew? But men read my blogs….and they have opinions. And I read them…and judge them.

Anyhoo, one such man was, let’s just say, concerned with the fact that I write about men treating women a certain way. Meaning I think women should be treated like the Queens we are. I know that this is really a dying practice. As I have said before (many times), men expect us to look perfect, cook, clean, work, have sex like a seasoned sex worker and shake our asses like strippers. Meanwhile….he looking like a cross between Fat Albert and Biz Markie.  And then he brings nothing to the relationship table. Monogamy is like…the dinosaurs–extinct. And chivalry went out in the 1800’s.

We are expected to either be a side chick or tolerate one or many.  I am HIGHLY jaded about relationships and I know how that sounds since I have been in one for all of my adult life. I am lucky in so many ways to have the kind of man that I have but I do not lose my head and think my relationship is immune. I know that there is a possibility that even my sweet hubbs could be brought down by a skank or two. Temptation is real.

But all that being said, I am not crazy or over reaching to expect to be treated well.  So to the guy that sent me that comment about me expecting to be treated a certain way…You are correct sir.

I deserve it and so does any other loyal, hold you down woman.  And then I get on my FB and some dude talking bout men shouldn’t chase women to get them. Get the Fuck outta here. That is why you’re single. If you don’t think a woman is worth the effort of chasing then she ain’t the woman for you. There ain’t nothing wrong with showing a woman how much you want her. Then the dude was like fuck that girl if she wants you to chase her.

I am telling you, I could not roll my eyes hard enough. What is happening to men? What is happening to relationships? I don’t know but I will definitely have to explore this further.

~VC

 

 

Happy New Years to me

I have been sick for the past two days. Like I can’t breathe and both my ears are stopped up. I’m coughing non stop and I sound like an eighty year smoker man. I hate this. I can’t work. I can’t write. There is only Netflix.

Ahhh Netflix.

If the shoe fits….

So…One of my friends confronted me about one of my blogs. MMkay. Truth be told this is not the first time I have been confronted about something I have said. (and it won’t be the last)  Anyhoo, something about what I wrote didn’t sit well with this person.

My response was…why do you think its about you? That stumped them. I mean honestly, I know more than one person and I talk to more than one person. Why on earth do you think my post or whatever is about you? This particular post is, in fact, about the one person I had the conversation with and that’s about it. But overall, I’m usually taken off guard about who thinks what is about them. But why tho?

Instead of confronting me about something you think is about you, why not ask yourself this? Why do you want it to be about you? What is it that you see that reminds you of yourself? Think about it and explore that shit on your own. Especially since the majority of my posts are talking about some shit that happened to me. LOL

It’s funny. I picture people reading my blogs all mad as hell like….this bitch. Let me scroll thru and see what else she saying about me.

I mean I have to laugh because the person I’m actually writing about usually tells me how much they like the post.

Anyhoo….unless I mention you by name (which is rare because all names have been changed to protect the innocent….and the guilty) or if I directly quote you, then know I’m not talking about you. So basically, if the shoe don’t fit, quit forcing your fat ass toes in the motherkcufer.

*Kanye Shrug*

~VC