Vivienne Craft's Blog, page 6

He is my everything….

MMkay so….

I was having this convo with a friend today. This is a familiar conversation that I have alot unfortunately.  I know a good man is hard to find. Men do not jump on me here. Y’all know how y’all do. Anyhoo, but it seems like when a woman does finally find a man they go too damn far.

First of all everybody and their mama got to hear about your new man and how blessed you are to have such and such. You can’t go anywhere because you are with so and so. If you do come out the house, you are bringing what’s his name with you. Look, we’re happy for you but…. Sometimes we want to see you without your significant other attached to your face.

Okay so here’s the actual convo. The girl I was talking to has shaped her whole life around this guy. She has almost ceased to be an actual person. All her hopes and dreams are wrapped around this man. She suddenly, likes all this dudes activities and needs to be involved in them. Whatever she wants to do is what he wants to do.  I told her she should be in love with him but stay in love with herself.

And then there is the total and complete blind trust in the new S/O. When women start saying stuff like , “My man would never….” I get scared for them. Because he is a man not Jesus. What if he does?….do whatever it is. Then are you going to die? Will you fall apart? And then you’ll be so angry and hurt that you gonna want to catch a case because you’ve given him blah blah blah. ( Fill in the years and stuff you gave up)

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in love. I am a romance writer for Pete’s sake. All I’m saying is don’t put all your hopes and dreams and your whole life in one person. That man is a human being and human beings are not perfect. Love him. Hell love him with your whole heart but don’t forget to love yourself, too. Be realistic in your love. The girl got mad at me because she was offended for her man. Like I knew him personally. I was talking about her not him.

Anyhoo….I could be wrong.

P.S. This is not an attack on women who cater to their men. Everyone is someone in a relationship and if that is you then that is you.  I think every woman should take care of their man as every man should take care of their woman.

~VC

Totally Random Vol. 11

Here  is the randomness that has been floating around my head….You’re Welcome.

Okay so….I have been married for like a million years.  A gazillion trillion years. Basically since I was born. When the hubbs and I first got together we used to kiss like for hours. It was so freaking hot. Making out was a part of our routine. We would kiss each other hello and goodbye and Hey I just saw you but I want to kiss you again.

Now…..we rarely kiss. I miss it. I think kissing is important. Maybe I can be the one to initiate the kiss comeback tour of 2015.

I had a dream last that I was sexy AF! (That’s As Fuck) I don’t usually just think I am beautiful. I mean I have my moments where I’m feeling myself Bey style but mostly I just think I’m okay. But in this dream I was that BITCH! I was werking it and so sexy I wanted to touch myself. I woke up this morning invigorated in my spirit. I wanted to work out and hit it hard. Maybe my brain was telling my body…”We can do this shit!”

Okay and this is so random but….I was thinking about single folk.  How do you have sex for the first time with someone and automatically give oral or do anal. Do you just suspend reality and not think about their hygiene? I mean did they wash properly first?

LOL

~VC

Totally Random Vol. 10

Here  is the randomness that has been floating around my head….You’re Welcome.

Okay so….I have been married for like a million years.  A gazillion trillion years. Basically since I was born. When the hubbs and I first got together we used to kiss like for hours. It was so freaking hot. Making out was a part of our routine. We would kiss each other hello and goodbye and Hey I just saw you but I want to kiss you again.

Now…..we rarely kiss. I miss it. I think kissing is important. Maybe I can be the one to initiate the kiss comeback tour of 2015.

I had a dream last that I was sexy AF! (That’s As Fuck) I don’t usually just think I am beautiful. I mean I have my moments where I’m feeling myself Bey style but mostly I just think I’m okay. But in this dream I was that BITCH! I was werking it and so sexy I wanted to touch myself. I woke up this morning invigorated in my spirit. I wanted to work out and hit it hard. Maybe my brain was telling my body…”We can do this shit!”

Okay and this is so random but….I was thinking about single folk.  How do you have sex for the first time with someone and automatically give oral or do anal. Do you just suspend reality and not think about their hygiene? I mean did they wash properly first?

LOL

~VC

Everyone chill the hell out about Caitlyn

Okay so, I almost wrote this two days ago but I felt like maybe I will keep my opinion to myself. But…then when does that happen?

First off, let me say this is not an attack on Bruce’s decision. I WANT everyone to be happy and if this makes him happy then do you Bruce. Do you. My thing is that from listening to him talk makes me believe this man needs therapy not a sex change. He needs to spend a few years being able to speak openly to a professional and maybe dressing as a woman but still remaining a man.

He sounds confused and unsure and a little delusional. I feel like he is getting swept up in the hype that is surrounding him and may make a decision that he would regret in a few years. Before Bruce even did “The Interview” I was reading up on something I had never heard of called Re-Transitioning which is where a person returns to the gender they were born with.

Re-transitioning

Also check out this interesting blog:

REtransitioning

I think maybe Bruce will be looking into this subject in a couple of years.

Okay and something else I have been thinking about this is how no one can make jokes or have an opinion before the media (and regular folks) jump on that person and beat them into submission.

Drake Bell

Look I kinda feel like people are being hypocrites. How was it okay for everyone and their mama to make jokes about Bruce as a cuckolded, has-been athlete man but we can’t make jokes about him as a (new) woman? He’s the same person. Drake’s tweet wasn’t even that bad. Everyone just needs to chill the hell out.

Also I am over hearing about this. Why couldn’t he be like Chaz Bono and do one interview about it and then live his life. When we have seen stories about Chaz it has been about his weight gain/loss. Not…..Vanity Fair. or well GQ in Chaz’s case. I just want Bruce to live and do what he does like everyone else. I mean isn’t that what we are trying to say anyway? He’s normal like any other woman? Then get a job and worry about getting a fat ass and getting fucked too hard or not enough like the rest of us girls.

And then the way people are treating Kris makes my stomach turn. This woman was married to this man for over 20 years! He was her life partner and he LIED to her. She took the blame for taking Bruce’s “balls” but he wanted to chop them off! He was unhappy not because of her but because he was living a lie. Nobody is understanding that this woman has to grieve her loss. And it sucks because she is feeling like the last 26 years of her life was a lie. That nothing was real….and she is partly right! And people are coming out with theses memes talking about Bruce looking better than her.Y’all are dead ass wrong. I guarantee when y’all see Caitlyn on the street you ain’t gonna be saying that. That is just poring salt in this woman’s open wound. That’s okay Kris…go ride your big bootied black man and count your money after you cum.

Finally…..the Facebook people. I swear. *sigh* Why are y’all lying? I know many of my Facebook folks would not sit next to a gay guy. If they saw a Trans person on Montrose they would walk the other way. Sadly, I know a few people that would react in violence if a woman they were dating revealed she was trans. But they are all on Facebook calling Bruce a hero? No. Quit lying. You don’t really believe that. And he is not an American hero. The men and women that risk and lay down their lives for us so that we can be free to discover who we are in our 60’s are the American Heroes. If he were revealing any other secret about himself people would just call him a liar.

Anyhoo…that is just my half a cent.

~VC

Everyone ain’t able…..

So the other day one of my family members posted what was supposed to be a joke or a burn about people who couldn’t afford to make it to see blue water.

There is a beach near Houston called Galveston and admittedly it is not the best beach but it is a beach and there are fun activities to do. This post basically was like why is yo poor ass checking in at Galveston with all that dirty brown water. You need to do better and go see some blue water.

I made a joke and said that everybody ain’t able so until then I will be checking in with the poor folk at Galveston. The responses from my family member and his friend were that everyone is able. You just need to plan and prepare.

Well…I am the queen of planning. I plan everything. And I know that sometimes life provides you with what you need not what you want. You have to be responsible about things. The friend bust out with saying if you can buy weave, makeup and get your nails done then you can take a vacation. Well what if you don’t buy all that stuff but instead are buying food and paying rent? Are you supposed to not do those things to see blue water?

Then they both were like I was limiting myself and them with my small minded thinking and basically saying that black folk are always saying what they can’t do. Further more saying Everybody ain’t able is annoying.

Oops.

I don’t think being responsible is a black oppression technique. Anyhoo, I really wasn’t hating on them and their vacation taking all– I was saying was that people who are working and striving to make ends meet can’t exactly take off to Jamaica. But if they are able to go to Galveston then let them be happy. No need to make them feel like shit for that. They are making memories for their family in a way they can afford.

I think they thought that they were teaching me a lesson. Honestly, in my lifetime I have seen blue water many times and plan on going back.  But to those that can’t….Galveston is just fine.

Also my family member said that he has taught people HOW to go on vacay and that anyone can do it. I asked him to inbox me details…..I’m waiting. I’m always looking for ways to save a coin. And let’s be honest….I need a vacay.

Flashback Friday

Okay so I was talking to a friend about thirsty men and the stuff they do….LOL

Well I have talked about this memory (For Flashback Friday) before but I want to share the whole story.

When I was in my early twenties I met a guy who became infatuated with me. He was a young white guy (not that that makes any difference) that was obsessed with making a mixed baby with me.

Now let me back up a minute, I was married and had no intention of doing anything with this guy. I met him while I was at work. He used to come in everyday at the same time with his buddies and ask me questions…essentially flirting. I thought he was just bored and passing his lunch break talking.

But soon enough I realized he wasn’t just passing time but that he really liked me. He had slipped me his number more than once but I never kept it He got his friend to get my number from another co-worker. The first time he called me I was surprised but a little flattered at his tenacity. That was before I understood what thirst really was.

I talked to him for a few minutes then got off the phone. I told him my husband wouldn’t appreciate him calling me but all he did was stop calling. He didn’t stop coming to see me. Everyday for months. Soon I got promoted and changed departments so I was in a back office and he couldn’t see me anymore. That is when things got….different.

He started calling me in the office all the time. We had a receptionist so he couldn’t call me directly. He would use fake names to get through when I stopped taking his calls. One night, I went out to the club with my girls and he was there. He tried to pretend like it was a coincidence. I wasn’t that young and dumb. I didn’t believe that for one second. I thought it was weird but he bought me and my friends drinks all night. We used him for the drinks and then moved on to the next club. I didn’t see him there and was relieved.

Things got quiet after that. I forgot about him.  Then one night, I decided to work a late night shift for extra money. Keep in mind this was not a regular shift because I had gotten promoted. When I left work at 1:30 am, I saw him. He was waiting for me in the parking lot. By my car. How did he know where I parked? How did he know I was working that night? How did he know what time I was off?

But he was waiting for me in a brand new custom painted Lexus. It was the exact car that I mentioned in PASSING to him over one of those lunches. The exact color, style, everything.  He gave that car to me that night. And when I mean gave…I mean gave. It had my name on the paperwork and everything. (Spelled correctly)

So, I did the right thing and didn’t accept the car but I thought about it. Oh, yeah I thought about it. I even presented my hubbs with a hypothetical. You know, what would you say if someone bought me a new car…..

Anyhoo,  I didn’t take it. The guy asked me several times. then he sold the car to a dealership on the corner of where I worked so I would have to see it everyday until it got sold. The night he gave me the car he was talking about marrying me and having a baby girl that looked like me with his blue eyes and a son that was the perfect shade of brown.

Um….. I was scared. I had security walk me to my car at night and instructed the front desk to never let his calls through. After two months he finally realized I wasn’t interested. He would have to pass on his dream girl.

All that being said…..what I learned is if a guy wants to buy you a car without so much as a hug, he may not have all his marbles.

And also years later…..I still think maybe I should have taken the car.

LOLOLOLOLOL

Happy Friday!

~VC

Go Fund me…. Go Fund yoself

So I have to say I have had it up to here (I’m holding my hand above my head) with GoFundMe. I was almost was at my limit with all the cancer people asking for money to pay for their treatment because I have a deep and ingrained distrust of people so I always think those things are a scam. But at least that is for a cause. Albeit maybe a fake one.

But lately…..

I have been seeing more and more people with these GoFundMe’s and I’m thinking….This sounds like a YP. (Your Problem).

I mean what happened to the days when we made a plan to get the things we need and want. What happened to working hard  for what we want?

I mean GoFundMe is the electronic equivalent of begging with a sign on the corner. I kinda want to reserve that for the people with no legs or the truly homeless. Someone who just needs a car….No.

One person (who is my friend and probably will probably read this) got robbed and started a GoFundMe to replace their stuff. And I immediately flashed back to when I got robbed and the hoodlums took my new TV and my husband’s XBox and all his games and accessories. The thought never entered my mind to ask people to help me replace my shit. Like not even a little bit.

I don’t know…maybe I’m irked because I got my stuff back by saving and paying for it. They got their stuff back by other people working hard and paying for it and that just goes against my personal sensibilities.

One person had a GoFundMe to go on vacation…. Um… I haven’t been on a real vacation in six years. If I am contributing to anything it will be my own personal getaway.

Maybe instead of GoFundMe’s floating through my timeline y’all should invest in getting a SugarDaddy like the rest of the populace. LOL I’m just joking.

Anyhoo….that is just my two cents.

Update: As I was typing this blog yesterday, I turned on Dr. Phil. And wouldn’t you know it, there was a chick on there who lied about having cancer and had a GoFundMe that raised 5K for her non-existent cancer treatments.

No.

 

Totally Random Vol. 10

Okay so every now and again I think about dating.�� I think that maybe if I were single, I would date my husband. But maybe my tastes have changed. Don’t get me wrong I’m not taking applications but I do think I like men who know what they want and try to get it. My husband has what he wants already so the man that he is today is not necessarily the one he was when we met.

But if I were single me looking to date single Hubbs, would that work out? Maybe? He is the one that won me for life like a prize from a carnival game. So he would probably do it again.

I like a good conversation. You know intelligence with the right amount of seduction thrown in. Tell me you want me….a lot (without being annoying). No shit talking about how good you are in bed! EVER! But if we ARE having sex talk…tell me what you’re going to do to me.

Excite my mind and the rest will follow. But having the skills to pay the bills does NOT HURT. In fact, it is a must if you want to keep me. But you also have to make me laugh. Or understand my sense of humor. You have to not be annoyed that I can laugh heartily over pretty much anything. And also appreciate my darkness.

My husband does that and that’s why we’re still together and probably why we would date if I were single.

But then again….I’m not the same woman I was back then. I was a lot to handle then and I am waay more now. So if I were single I would probably stay single. Good thing I’m not….

Does your girl watch porn? She probably does

Hi my Crafties! It’s been a while since I was able to blog because you know….responsibilities. Anyhoo…..I had a pretty interesting convo last week about Porn and I wanted to share.

In my motivational speeches aka women talks, I tell my ladies to get acquainted with dirty movies.�� Find out what you like and go for it.�� So inevitably I am asked if I watch porn. And then they want to know WHAT I watch.

That ain’t none of y’alls business what I watch but yes I do get my porn on. It’s so accessible. And it’s good for you too! (Like eating your Wheaties) If you are ever in a sexual slump, there is nothing better to get the juices flowing than seeing a little skin on skin action.

For some reason in 2015, there are still some women claiming they have never watched porn. NEVER? Quit lying. You have watched some form of naughty flick in your lifetime (and probably on a regular basis). Anyhoo, I’m here to tell you there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

What you do on your own time is your own business. Well as long as you ain’t breaking the law.

Porn may not be your actual thing but….. it probably could be. You should try it at least once. In my interesting convo, the chick I was talking to was all, “EEW!” and “I don’t have time for that!” The girl was trying to convince me that she’s never watched porn and that someone who does is basically a pervert who is wasting their time.

MMkay….

I go LOOOONNNG periods of time without watching porn but that doesn’t mean I am judging someone who gets their view on on the regular. Lighten up and stop your frontin. As I’ve said before. Ain’t no future in it.

And another thing!!! (LOL) While you’re getting your view on,�� break out a side of self love. You’ll be happier for it.

 

VC

Totally Random Vol. 9

Okay so I work from home, right? Yesterday some lady comes to my house looking for my Mom.

First off she was knocking on the door like the damn law. I snatched that door open and gave her the stank eye. You know the “Bitch I will cut you” face?�� The lady starts asking about my Mom. I told her she just left and she will be back in twenty minutes. She asked me was I sure?

Look Bitch! I’m working. I have no time to play games with you. Then hold on to ya panties. She says that she saw my mom leave in the gray car.

SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AT MY DOOR?!

I say again….she just left. She will be back in 20 minutes. She then asked me if I could call her.

NO. She will be back in 20 minutes and I have to go. I start to close the door but she continues to talk.�� I was like sorry but I have to go. (again)

Then the lady (little does she know she was half a second from meeting my Pimp hand) asks me if I can call her when my Mom gets back.

Ummmmm….No

I’m not doing that.�� But you can come back in 20 minutes like I told you.

She then asks me what my name is. None of your damned business. I don’t know you. It’s more than enough that you know where I live and I have never laid eyes on you before. Don’t make me ask you inside, beat that ass and then call the cops on you. I will do that.

Anhyhoo…. She finally leaves and I am able to get back to work. Exactly 14 minutes later she comes back beating on my freaking front door. I rip the door open.

She asks me if my Mom is back. Bitch did you see her freaking Gray car in the driveway? No? Then she ain’t back. Quit bothering me.

Man…..

Then a few minutes later (ironically 5 minutes after I closed the door) my mom comes back.

If she had of just waited like I freaking said, I could have been saved all this frustration.

Woosah!

VC