Vivienne Craft's Blog, page 2

What do you do?

Okay so…. In my every day life I struggle between giving people the double middle fingers Stone Cold Steve Austin style and being a total push over.

It’s hard. On one hand, I can’t begin to tell you how annoying it is to deal with people that are obviously using me. But it is even harder when you know that person is a family member.  It’s hurtful that a person that claims to love you can treat you like their personal butler with no regards for you. Like literally nothing you are doing means anything when they need something. You just have to drop what you have going on to do their bidding.

I know that if this person wasn’t a family member they would get the Stone Cold treatment but they are. So what do I do? This is a work in progress.

Is Job Shaming a thing now?

Okay So….

In my everyday life I am a recruiter so I know what I’m talking about here. My job is to find people jobs. Sometimes I’m successful. Sometimes I’m not. And it hurts my heart when I can’t find a job for someone who really wants to work. So what is this thing that is happening where people are being shamed for what they do to make money?

I KNOW how hard it is to get a job. And I also know that a lot of people aren’t working because they’re just plain out lazy.  So when I hear people talking down on someone who is working, I basically want to slap them across with face Bugs Bunny style.

There is no SHAME what so ever in making an honest living. I don’t care if you are a janitor or a stripper. If what you’re doing is putting food on the table then get that shit.

Now look, I am not saying that a woman or a man who is on one level can’t say I don’t want to date this person because we don’t match. To each their own.

I’m talking about friends and family members (or strangers) talking shit about a person who is working hard at a job they feel is beneath them. This has got to stop. Where do people get off doing this mess? If you want to talk shit about someone then do it about someone who is sitting on their ass waiting on someone else to get a job to take care of them.

In my lifetime, I have had corporate jobs, customer service jobs, and worked for myself.  When times were tough I worked overnight at Kroger. That was super hard because you make no money and everything comes out of your check so some weeks I would come home with fifty bucks.  But guess what I worked to get out of our situation and move on. When I tell people that I was once an overnight cashier at Kroger, I get surprise and disbelief. But why? I do what I have to do. Always. I would seriously be a stripper to take care of my kids if I had to.  And I would fight someone who tried to call me a whore for doing so. If there were no other way for me to provide, I would what I had to do.

Anyhoo….If you are doing this Job Shaming mess then stop it. That’s stupid.

 

 

 

This is Personal: Family is complicated

Okay so this post will be in three parts. I have been having a few things on my mind and heart. Look I know that family can be complicated and life can be unfair but man it has been hitting me in the face in 2016.

Part 1:

I had a death in my family.  My niece died last week and like you would expect it hit me hard. Since I found out, I have been crying off and on and in the middle of the night. She was a beautiful spirit and an incredible young person. I wasn’t prepared but can you really be prepared to say goodbye to someone whose life was cut short right when she was beginning it.

I am having a really hard time with this. And then my heart goes out to her mother. She is being so strong. And I know her heart is broken into a million pieces. This was her baby . Her girl. This situation is unfathomable. All I can do is think about my own child and if I could be that strong. I want to be there for her but I don’t know what to say so I just tell her that I love her. And that I’m here.

I’m also dealing with the guilt of not going to see her the last time. I was working and declined to go to dinner. I didn’t know that would be the last time I would have gotten to see her.  I regret it.  You just never know what is around the corner. You just never know.

Hug your loved ones. Tell them you love them. Kiss your children and be grateful that you get to kiss them.

Part 2:

The day I found out my niece died, I had JUST gotten through talking to my mother about making better choices for her time of life. I understand that transitioning into another stage of life is hard but at some point you have to start thinking realistically.  She is making decisions that put her in danger. My mom is not in the best health but since she feels better, she thinks she is invincible. But she’s not.  She’s already had a major near death experience.  This tragedy with my niece should show her how fragile life really is.

I know she thinks I’m being Miss Know it all but I just want her to be safe so she can live as long as possible.

Part 3:

I have YET ANOTHER family member in poor health. She is in a really bad situation health wise. But here is my issue. Me and this family member have never had a good relationship. It was tumultuous up until the time of her illness. She has picked fights with me, lied to me, lied on me, tried to undermine my marriage, called me names and tried to physically fight me. Yeah alla that. But now that she’s sick, she’s trying to hug me and is constantly calling me “Pretty” and paying me compliments. I don’t know how to react so I am just wooden. I feel like there is a berth between where we were and hugging and compliments.

Maybe there needs to be an honest conversation and an apology or two. I’m struggling with this because she is really sick. I have forgiven her for past behavior but I have not forgotten. It was years of crap. I will say that I’m trying though.

All of this is happening at the same time. I’m struggling but I do have a positive outlook on life. I am grateful for what I have and the love that surrounds me.  But damn it if family ain’t complicated.

 

Rest in Peace Sweet Girl

Just had to say…

Okay so…In a time when Human Nature is just perplexing AF to me, I am over the moon grateful when one of my friends shows me what friendship really is.

I was thinking about one of my homies that ain’t my homie no mo. Really a song came on the radio that we used to super turn up to and it made me smile and get a little nostalgic. I was just about to think, “I miss her.” But I got a text.

One of my friends texted me that she hoped I was having a good day and sent me an article she thought I’d like. I opened it. And wouldn’t you know?! It WAS an article that I liked and it was right inline with what I had been thinking about this week.

It made me smile and realize that when people are your friends they do stuff like THAT not talk behind your back or wish for your downfall. If someone is gone from your life…It’s for a reason.

So I just had to say….Thanks Marina! Love you Bae!

VC

*Prayer Hands* Amber Rose

Okay so….Amber Rose appeared on Rev Run and Tyrese’s show….whatever it’s called.  I guess they had her on talking about rape culture.  I don’t think the episode has aired yet. I don’t know if I will watch when it does . Here is the part that stuck with me….

She is talking about people touching her in the club. And first Tyrese tries to compare unwanted touching to a guy wearing basketball shorts being asked to play basketball. *heavy sigh*

That is so stupid I squinted at the computer screen.

Sweet Jesus. Is this a phenomenon?  Guys being forced into B ball games because of the way they’re dressed? Sheesh!

Then Rev Run bust out with a, “Dress how you want to be addressed”.  Now while this is a good rule of thumb for work or trying to attract the right man, this does not apply for getting groped. I can not tell how hard I rolled my eyes.

This picture was pretty close.

Look Rev, YOUR OWN daughters are often photographed in revealing clothing and bikinis. At any time, if one of them came to him and said someone groped them at the beach while they were wearing a bikini (which is as close to naked you can get in public) I bet he would be out to beat that ass before he called the police. I am also sure he wouldn’t be like she deserved to be felt up because of her lack of clothing. And let’s be real here.  It doesn’t matter what a woman wears, she can still be alluring to a man even if she is covered from head to toe.

Amber makes a good point about being in a club with her girls. I remember once I was in the club and I was walking thru the crowd to get a drink and a guy groped me. And when I say groped me…let me explain. He hooked two fingers up like he was trying to reach my G-spot. If I had not had underwear on, he would have been inside me.  A guy whom I had never met and had not spoken a word to or had even seen his face, would have been inside me. My girl Dorian may remember what happened next… I two pieced that fool and knocked him on his ass. He jumped up and tried to hit me back but two actual nice guys came to my defense before security kicked him out. I didn’t ask for that.

I’m sick and tired of men telling us it’s the WOMAN’S fault for turning them on. You should dress like the Amish and keep your eyes to the ground, for Pete’s sake NEVER smile at a guy, and pray to GAWD that your attire doesn’t touch him in his rapey place. Why does society not expect mean to grow up out of the toddler stage of “Me want. I touch.” Why not just keep your damn hands and body parts to your damn self? Eventually, some woman is going to WANT you to touch her. Just wait for that.

There is no male equivalent to dressing like you want it. Women don’t go around grabbing men’s cocks because he was sporting major eggplant in his sweatpants. This just doesn’t happen. And if it did happen????? Guess what? He wasn’t asking for it and didn’t deserve to be violated.

Here is the clip of Amber. I have attached an article with the clip because I found the comments mad amusing.

Amber on Jezebel.com

 

VC

 

Well…

Okay So…. I read something the other day that was directed at me and I was amused. Of course, I had to share. Apparently, one of my blogs must have touched a nerve.  I laugh at this because as I have said before, unless I am quoting you (which I do from time to time) you have no idea if what I am saying is about you. It’s probably not about you. Please refer back to this blog: If the shoe fits….

But this person so called was putting me on blast. I admire their moxie but it is totally misplaced.  I like that I can be an important part of people’s lives. Hopefully, I can be a positive part of your life. 

Anyhoo…My book Jail Bait is out and is a Best Seller.

You can get it on Amazon…. Here

 

*sigh* The Grammy’s

Okay so….I have so many feels about the Grammy’s. So many…..

I have never thought of myself as militant or super political or “Pro-Black”.  I’m just a black woman living and trying to survive in this world.  I have dealt with racism pretty much on every level. In small ways and in large….Years apart and daily.

At my day job last year a lady called me “Gal”. It was 2015.

I’m not saying that the Grammy’s is racist…But with all that said I watched the Grammy’s last night and I felt steam coming out of my ears.

We’ll start with the Maurice White tribute….Penatonix and Stevie Wonder sing one song half assed.

That was my face.

My Hubbs was watching with me and basically telling me to calm down.  But I saw what was happening.  You couldn’t have allotted a little less time to Taylor Swift or Sam Hunt and Carrie Underwood to get an ACTUAL tribute to Earth, Wind and Fire?!!! Oh okay.

And then the BB King tribute came on. Now look I fully support diversity. I know who Chris Stapleton is and appreciate his talent but GOTTTTTDAMNIT why was he doing the BB King tribute? It made no sense. If it were just about having a white artist there to pay tribute then why wasn’t it just Bonnie Rait and Gary Clark, Jr.???? Bonnie knew BB King and loved him. She played with him.  I could not make it thru with out pausing several times and pacing.

My Hubbs was coming over to my side a little bit. He was starting to see things as I did but then the Eagles Glenn Frey tribute came on and he came on DOWN (Price is right). Not one random black person thrown in for diversity. And a full set. Not Stevie Wonder and muthertrukin Penatonix with a funky ass half a song sang acapella. He asked me to fast forward through it even though we are both Eagles fans because it was boring. (Later on he was like, “Did they even pay tribute to Glenn Frey?” and I was like yeah you made me fast forward it)

Then the Kendrick Lamar performance came on……. *Insert Prayer Hands*  It was everything. It was the Bey Superbowl 50 halftime show times Africa. My heart shouted and I had to wipe tears from eyes. I applauded when it was over. I immediately wanted to watch it again. I wanted to wake my children and have them gather round the TV to hear the sage words from Uncle K. DOT. I needed that. I could just hear the ignorants of America calling RACIST.  Saying that he was Anti-Police instead Pro-Black man. It didn’t matter. This was OUR moment.

The Lionel Richie tribute…..just why? John Legend with his weird arrangement of Easy like Sunday Morning.  Then Demi Lavato.  Okay I like Demi Lavato A LOT!!!! But why mayne? Why? Luke muthatrukin Bryan????? And then they threw Tyrese up on the end. *slowly shakes head* Lionel Richie gets up and shows them how its done.

Okay  so then Lady Gaga whom I am in love with. I want to move in with Gaga and Taylor and have weird sex with them covered in like paint and whiskey. But that David Bowie tribute was long. A little time could have been given to Maurice White to at least have two songs so that I could remember what they were.

In between, the Alabama Shakes gave me LIFE!!!!

Motorhead….. I enjoyed the tribute. And again my Hubbs is a major fan. But where was the random black person in there….for diversity??

So by this time, I was ready to write my local Representative.  Then Taylor Swift wins Album of the year over K.DOT. There is not a chance in hell I believe that. No. Just No. I want to throw an old school temper tantrum. The kind that my mama would have to told me to go pick out my own switch for (You may or may not know what this means).

I was fit to be tied. I think my eyes crossed. So……here comes surprise Beyonce. But her dress didn’t fit her right and it looked like she had on four earrings so I was still mad as hell.

Now its time to wrap up the show. Who we got? MUTHATRUKIN Pitbull. Why LAWD? This has no bearing on race or diversity. Just why Pitbull?! He’s coming out of a box surrounded by girls yet again.  This time instead of an all white suit he’s wearing all black. Ooohh the change up. He’s singing a song that we don’t know. But it’s ripping off a reggae song that I like. But I look it up and Pitbull actually stole that horrible song from another artist named Osmani Garcia. Pitbull was just a feature on the song originally. But now he was singing it as his own on the Grammy’s.  Where is Daddy Yanky? Where is Don Omar?

All in all……I was kinda wishing for Kanye West to repel from the ceiling and speak some of his truth jibberish. But in the immortal words of Kendrick Lamar….

We gone be alright.

 

 

 

Overwhelmed and Thankful

Okay so I released my ninth book today.  Every time I write a book, I think nobody will buy it. Nobody will read it. Nobody will like it.

Every time I have been wrong.

My book is already a best seller!

I am overwhelmed and overjoyed and ever so thankful.

JAIL BAIT on Amazon

Not a Beyonce Post!

Hahahahah Okay so since every post or story I read is something Beyonce related, I thought I would give y’all a break.

I think people are going way too far with that shit but I will save those thoughts for another day.

Anyhoooo… I have a couple friends….Maybe more than a couple friends that post these evasive ass vague ass don’t really mean nothing posts all the damn time. It’s an obvious, “Hey look at me. I’m clever and mysterious. Don’t you want to know to know what I’m talking about?” No. I don’t. I want to know why you keep doing it when your friends who probably know what you’re talking about don’t even give you a courtesy like.

And  I’m not talking about the obvious life sucks post that you go ask what’s going on with them and they say nothing post. I’m talking about posts that don’t correlate to anything or any subject that really could be utter nonsense. Lemme see if I can create one.

On this day seven years ago…..

But they never say what happened. So what,Bish????  Did you get you get your period? Did you graduate from high school? Did you contract an STD? What?

Or the obscure song lyric post. Now look, I know everyone has been jamming to some song and posted the lyrics. But if the lyrics are something like…. A head full of headaches and a heart that’s full of woes…. YOU ARE NOT JUST JAMMING THAT SHIT. You’re going through something and posting that is a cry for help. Nobody readily knows those are song lyrics. Well I do because I know that song and I picked it because it’s a little shout out to my Hubbs. But  you get the point.

One time, one of my friends posted a picture of like a blurry hummingbird with the caption….Because I know.

KNOW WHAT? You just want people to ask about it. That is the same thing as posting a picture of you in the hospital but won’t tell nobody why you’re in there. FRAUDULENT BEHAVIOR. If you ain’t want nobody to know because you’re so private then here’s a suggestion….Don’t post a picture of you in the hospital. Nobody is going to ask you if you are in the hospital and why on a random Tuesday morning. You would be safe.

And yes, a FEW of my friends have pulled the hospital stunt.

Well, I hope we can clear up our posts in the future. LOL

VC

Why all the hate, Bey?

Okay here comes my obligatory why the Beyonce hate post…..

Unless you live under a rock or on a deserted island you know that Beyonce basically owned this weekend.  And so me being the fan (not Stan) I am, I lost my damn shit.  I posted a WHOLE lot on my personal social media pages. Basically, I was live posting all my real time emotions and reactions. LOL.

Anyhoo, I read all the hate that followed. I really don’t understand the negativity.  First off, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with supporting another human being. I think we all should do that every once in a while. It may just help your overall demeanor. Secondly, I am a black woman supporting another black woman. Also something that should be done more often.

Then lets break this down….Basically , Bey dropped a video that was not only visually stunning but socially aware and let’s all say it…PRO BLACK. Whether you like her or not, that is something to get behind. Immediately, I saw people posting (and some on my page) how they thought it was wack and mediocre. You missed all the damn symbolism and direct messages?

Let Awesome Luvvie break it down for you….

Beyonce’s Formation is Her Best Thing Yet and it’s the IDGAF Anthem

Also I acknowledge I was in full stage 2 all weekend….see what the stages are here…

Stages of Twitter Dealing with a Beyoncé Event

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Why all the Bey Hate? She is just singing and dancing and performing in outstanding fashion. She ain’t kicking puppies and stealing money out cho wallet….

Okay so personally, I have always been a fan of Bey and supported her because we are around the same age (I said around) and are both from Houston. I always feel like if she can make it so can I. I have owned her albums but none resonated fully with me like the last album.  I swear we co-wrote that Beyonce album together and then collabo-ed on all the videos.  And that is five albums in, not even counting Destiny’s child, for me to be all in.

But back to my original point. So what if I lose my shit and get excited over Beyonce doing what she does? My life can get really mundane being an adult. I don’t get all hyped up over doing the same shit over and over ad nauseam.  I rarely have things to look forward to or go crazy for, so when I do, I DO!!!! So sorry (Not Sorry) if that bothers you.

So here’s some things you may want to stick your fingers in your ears for (Because I may lose my shit) in the upcoming year.  Beyonce’s new album when it drops.  If Lady Gaga drops a new album and announces a tour. Really anything Lady Gaga related. Jason Bourne. Marvel movies. My new Books coming out. ANYTHING Rock related. Me going to Wrestlemania if I go. Me going to WrestleCon if I go.  Me losing weight and possibly hitting my goal weight.

You have been warned! Carry on with your day.

VC