Vivienne Craft's Blog, page 10

What Sex Looks Like with Kids and ADD

viviennecraft:

I absolutely loved this blog!

Originally posted on Grief Happens:

My day started at 4am when I heard Gil yell “Shit!” under his breath as he smashed his toe on our chest of drawers. He was escorting Wallace back to bed.

5:00 am — “Mom… Mom…!? Are you awake?” It was Wallace…again. “Dad’s in my bed and he’s snoring. It’s SO loud. Can I sleep with you?” He didn’t wait for an answer, climbed right in and fell asleep.

5:30 am — I’m jolted from sleep by Wallace’s left heel as it meets my ribcage. I manage to slide my solid five-year-old over several inches and fall back asleep for another hour.

7:00 am — “Mom… Mom…! Mom…!!!” I squint and see Piers’ enormous brown eyes centimeters from mine.

“Geesh, Piers. What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t tell if you were asleep. Your eyes were kinda open. Can I watch TV?”

“Yes. Just keep the volume low and try not…

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Whaa! Whaaaa! Man up already.

Okay so….I’m basically a dude but with tits and a vagina. LOL. I have been better at being a girl since I had a child but I couldn’t fight that because of the hormones.  But because of my man-ness I get majorly aggravated when women start complaining about some heartbreak or some drama. I just start rolling my eyes.

That is basically what I look like…..

But you know what?… I can forgive a girl for putting our business all there for those to judge because we’re women and we do what we want. But I can’t forgive a dude, especially a grown ass dude, whining all on social media about a girl or some drama or blah blah blah. Dude do you have friends.

What has the internet done to people? You putting ALL your private business out there and then write post after post, crying over some chick. I just can’t.  Now I’m all for being heartbroken but save it for private time. Stop putting that shit out there for all us normal people to suffer through.  And you’re a man for Pete’s sake. Sac up!

Then I think it’s all for like sympathy and attention because of all the schmoes liking and commenting on that Bullshit. Please buy a real friend.

I have never thought I would see the day when grown ass dudes would cry on Facebook and Instagram for weeks at time. Is that what social media is for? Eew.

Anyhoo, carry on. Sometimes people all in their feelings is better than cable.

I’ll be watching and…judging.

~VC

In the beginning…Part 2

So we can pick up the story where Part 1 ended. (Scroll through my blogs to find Part 1)

I had my disaster with the super tall dude and the others… LOL. My mom told me to find a guy to be with so I tried but I was coming up with big fat zilch. I knew a guy that used to date one of my friends. Honestly, I never even considered him to be a contender. Never. He wasn’t my type and he used to date one of my friends. But he became one of my best friends. I told him everything. I often slipped and called him guuurrrl.

Anyway, one night after one disastrous date where the dude tried to rape me….(Yeah that happened) I went to my friend to cry on his shoulder. Let’s just call the friend Mitch. Anyhoo, Mitch pitched a full out presentation on why I should be with him. He told me he knew I wasn’t his type and maybe I didn’t feel the same for him but that he loved me and that he had for a long time.

It was the sweetest most romantic thing any man had ever said to me. I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. It went against everything I was feeling but he said something that I will never forget. He told me that I’d built walls around my heart so that no one could get in and hurt me. That I never let anyone in. But that if I let him in he would spend the rest of his life loving and treating me like the queen that I am.

Good right? It was good. He was right about the walls. I should have left those walls in place though. I shouldn’t have let him in because he turned out to be the worst kind of dude. The dude that makes you fall in love with him.

I did fall in love and it was great but it was all delusional. He was cheating on me I think from the very beginning. Yup. The betrayal was hard but it taught me a valuable lesson. Even the “nice guys” can be assholes. That situation made me grow up a lot.

Meanwhile…..I was hanging out with new friends. One of which was my future hubbs. We were friends. Like real friends. (I guess I am susceptible to the friendship backdoor) Anyway one of my best memories I have of my budding friendship was the day we went to the car wash.

It was a beautiful sunny spring day, I needed to wash my car and the future hubbs asked to come with me. We were in one of the self serve car washes. I had on a lavender sundress with pretty flowers. He laughed with me and chased me with the water. It was so fun. I felt safe. It was one of the first times I had purely laughed from being happy since I broke up with the ex.

Years later….and I mean years. My hubbs told me what he remembered most of all was having a hard on the whole time because I didn’t have a bra on under my dress and when he wet me up he could see my nipples and the outline of my G-string.

Anyhoo….we hung out more and more together. I knew I was in love when one day I was at work feeling a little extra low and he walked into the room. I found myself smiling like a silly little fool and he hadn’t even seen me yet. I knew. He was the one.

It’s funny that we never had a conversation about being together. We just were.

Ain’t love grand?

~VC

Totally Random Vol. 7

Okay so… a while back I saw a guy I used to date while I was out and about.  He looked….let’s just say….older. I mean maybe he’d led a rough life and been through some thangs, I’m not sure. He didn’t look bad per-say but he didn’t look good either. Anyhoo, he asked me if I ever think about him. And honestly, the answer is no.

I mean that was over 15 years ago. He wasn’t a “One that got away”.  He wasn’t even an honorable mention. Hell, he didn’t even get the cookie. Why would I be thinking about him? Then I was like okay he must think about me because I was his honorable mention. I was his one that got away.

Then I started thinking…..How many women sit and think about a guy that they dated YEARS ago? I never think about exes. I mean never. Not even while scrolling through Facebook. I asked a couple of my friends if they think about their exes and they said no but they said they do Facebook troll them from time to time.

So one day, I decided to do the same. And out of every dude that I found, not ONE of them looked good. NOT ONE. Can you believe that? The best they ever looked was while they were dating me.  Maybe being with me was the best thing that ever happened to them.

SO anyway…yesterday I saw a picture of one of my exes that I actually cared about. No I still don’t think about this dude but ahhhh Facebook. It’s an incestuous web. Every person you know, knows someone else that you know and inevitably you will see a picture whether you want to or not.

I saw this guy and showed my husband and we laughed. I dodged a bullet with that one. I will refrain from using the exact verbiage I used because I never know who reads these blogs but this dude…..he looks like he could be a contestant on the Biggest Loser. On a positive note, he would make a great before shot.

Hehhehe

Sorry. Not Sorry.

~VC

Sooo Stalker or Fan

Soooo I have been fighting a cold and promoting my book Swift Justice (Shameless plug) and I haven’t been blogging. I log in to blog today and I notice that I have been visited 267 times….by one person.

Do I need to hire security. This person read every single blog I’ve written and then re-read their favorite one’s. Is that normal? I wish I could see who that person was.

I mean on one hand I should be happy that someone finds my meanderings that interesting but on the other hand…AHHHHHHHRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

MMkay, I’m chilling out now.  But for reals tho. 267 times?

~VC

Swift Justice!!!!!

I am so excited to announce the release of my 6th book!!!  Secrets: Swift Justice  is now available on Amazon.

Check it out!  Secrets: Swift Justice on Amazon.

This book is a fun “Who done it” with erotica mixed in!

 

I can not stop smiling from ear to ear,

~VC

 

Super Secret Girls Time

So…Out of all the jobs that I have, being a mother is my most important one.

I want  my daughter to have the best childhood she can have because she only has this one. And I take my job as her mother very seriously. I want my child to be a happy, responsible, well adjusted successful adult. In fact, I live my whole to be not just a good…but great role model for my child. I do not and will not leave that position up to a stranger.

Anyhoo, I do get mired in being a good mom but I also want to make sure my daughter has great memories with me. So I started a new tradition.

Super Secret Girls Time.

I slip away with her. Just her and I.  We do something that is just for us and we get to be silly, laughing, joking girls. And it’s just for us.

It makes me happy to know that not only am I not raising an asshole (this is a joke but not really). But not only am I raising a smart, beautiful, well-rounded, respectful child but I never miss an opportunity to hug her and tell her I love her. And she will have our Super Secret Girls Time memories for the rest of her life.

And so will I.

~VC

Quickie #5

Alright At&t I have your number.  Two months in a row they mysteriously turn off my service and last month they charged me a $49 restoration fee and a $9 late fee. No Son! I ain’t playing that.  That happened on 11/19.

Then today my service is mysteriously shut off again. I ain’t falling for the banana in the tailpipe. (Thanks Roscoe for bringing that phrase out of retirement–Classic) I called and dug so far down in my Ninja Bag that the guy reversed all the charges. I am sad that I have to be a Be-Eye-ish to receive good service.

And why is my internet company constantly trying to rip me off? I’m over it!

Woosah!

~VC

Slight OCD with an Insomnia Chaser please.

So I have self diagnosed myself with OCD. I literally see everything that is wrong or dirty and feel the need to fix it. I often have things running through my head all night and can’t go to sleep. And LAWD help me if I have some drama during the day. I can guarantee I am not getting any sleep.

Anyhoo, I have had insomnia since my child was born. It comes and goes and happens in degrees.  The worst is when I stay up all night and right at 5:45 I drift off to sleep only to have my alarm go off at 6am.

I have really tried everything I could think of from soothing sounds to over the counter remedies. I just can’t seem to get it together on a regular basis. I think I have one night a week of just straight blissful sleep. And that’s if I’m lucky.

I know that I could let my OCD  ruin my family so I keep it in check and I don’t spend my time constantly cleaning and nagging even though I want to. Boy do I want to.

I let it out in small doses like steam.  In these instances I might find myself cleaning the microwave with a toothbrush or scrubbing the paint off the toilet seat  And yes these things happen. I even have a problem with keeping my dvr clean. I watch something and I immediately have to delete it. I actually scroll through my playlist like, “Didn’t I watch that?” Delete. I have actually deleted things my husband never even watched or that he wanted to keep by total accident and he did not take kindly to it. I am on automatic at this point.

I think I may need therapy but its cheaper to just clean something.

Walking Dead–Let’s talk about it

So by now you’ve either seen or someone has ruined the mid season finale of walking dead.  Beth.  Man I didn’t even know how much this would effect me until I saw the bullet go through her head. Hell most of the time Beth annoyed the fuck out of me and I if I had to sit through another one of those lame ass songs that I didn’t think were actual songs I was gonna throw something at the television.

I was so sad though. I wanted to be less effected but there I was sitting on my couch, fighting back tears and trying to appear like I wasn’t two seconds away from sucking up snot. My husband sat not two feet away from me not giving a puredee fuck.

So I put on my big girl pants and didn’t full on cry.

Let me say I loved this season. I was blah to whatever about last season but this… season loved it! You have to realize that I am a fan of the show and of the comic book. Like a die hard fan. I have to break myself into a separate reality to get through knowing what happened in the comic book and how they veer away from it on the show. It made me mad at first but then I was like this is just stupid and then I came back around.

Only for this mess to happen….

How could they kidnap Beth only to make me give a shit about her and then kill her? How could they do it?!

Needless to say, I still have some issues about this and I have no idea how I will make it until February to find out what happens next.

~VC