Vivienne Craft's Blog, page 8

Real Talk (If you know its cuz she wants you to)

Okay so I have talked about men and when they do their dirt but I haven’t really talked about women doing theirs.

Look I’m a woman so I am always of a certain opinion about my females.�� Just like not every man cheats, not every woman is faithful. But what I have learned is most women cheat “Because”.

For example their dude has messed them over several times and�� they tired of that shit. Or the dude is neglecting her for some reason and she tired of that shit. He ain’t deep dicking her no more and she tired of that shit. Mostly cause she tired of that shit.

There also those times when the woman is just a skeez. Yeah we have those too.

The tie that binds these things is this….if a woman is doing something and her dude KNOWS about it?? Then she WANTED him to know or she doesn’t care that he knows which is the same as wanting him to know.

Because above all if she is still with the dude and hasn’t broken up with him yet then she just wants to make him jealous so he’ll wake up and appreciate what he has in her.

This does not apply to the skeezes. They just hoes.

Now, all that being said. If a woman is cheating or even THINKING about cheating with someone she has feelings for?????!!!! It would take the FBI, CIA, House, Sherlock Holmes (Both Robert Downey Junior and Benedict Cumberbatch) and the cast of that new show CSI: Cyber Crime to find out what she’s doing and with who.

You can look at her phone, GPS her follow her and you wouldn’t find out shit. You would literally need to die and haunt her ass to see what she was really up to until she told you she was leaving your ass.

In conclusion, unless you are dealing with a dummy, you are not going to know anything of substance until she is ready to let you know.

Just my opinion.

VC

Body Shaming or just Real Talk (NSFW)

I know this blog will not make me popular in the least. So let me put my disclaimer out there…..

I am not fat shaming. I ain’t skinny. I’m just opening the discussion up on what loving yourself really means.�� Why does you loving your own body mean you putting EVERYTHING out there for everyone to see? And also I want to spread the word that sometimes when people are telling you to put that shit up….it’s not shaming of any kind. It’s Real Talk.

Okay so here goes…There have been a lot of discussions about fat shaming and body shaming women of various body types. Skinny, fat, muscular etc. There is a movement to combat this where women are saying “My body is beautiful” (which I love) and then there are some who step it up a notch by showing all their everything.

Look… I think we’re taking this thing too far. I am not a skinny person but also I’m not obese either, however, I do think my body is beautiful. STILL you will NEVER catch me in a bikini if I’m in my time of chub. I have a rule of NVFR. No Visible Fat Rolls.

I saw this one article praising a woman for recreating the famous Madonna street hitchhiking picture. When I saw the picture I thought but why though? I mean good for her but why? Here is the picture.

This picture did not inspire me to do anything but click the next article.

I feel like some things should not be on display. Maybe my opinion is not a popular one but I just don’t understand the need to do that. Now look don’t get me wrong, to each his own. I’m all about this woman being free to love her self and her body…but why do this? And to be honest, I feel the same way about Kim Kardashian and her constant nudity. She has a body a lot of people want to see. (Not me so much because I hate her fake ass and I think it looks stupid).�� I just feel like why are you showing your cooch to everyone? But you know what, I really don’t think she has that much more to offer the world. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then here you go.

And also….

Form your own opinions.

So anyway, Here’s another reason why I feel this movement is going too far….. I was reading and I saw this article about a woman who wore a bikini with a colostomy bag. She was sunbathing in private and then her husband took the picture and she posted it. The picture went viral with lots of people applauding her for her courageousness.�� Here is the pic.

There is nothing much going on in these pictures. This lady is beautiful. There is just one problem. That there on her stomach? You see that? That is a poo bag. A bag she is fitted with to hold her natural waste. Her shit. That is a shit bag. Can NOTHING be private? I don’t need to see your shit bag. What’s next? Pretty pictures taken while girls take a shit? (That I’m not supposed to be disgusted at?) Because you know….I love my body? NO! This lady has a great inspiring story and if you want to read it here it is….(But this pic should have stayed in her private collection)

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/386768/Crohn-s-disease-colostomy-bags-model

Then there are the fit moms showing pictures of themselves with their kids with captions like, “No excuses.”�� Basically saying what’s wrong with your fat ass? Here’s my problem with that. Losing weight is a hard thing. Losing weight after baby is astronomically hard! And it comes accompanied with shame, self doubt, crazy hormones, no sleep, and…..a baby. Instead of saying what the fuck is wrong with you, why not say,�� here is what I did and you can do it too. BTW most of these women weren’t fat before they had the baby and kept their workout and eating plans throughout their pregnancy. So…..STFU and GTFOH.

And then this woman….

\_�� \_ \_ \_ Have several seats.

All I’m saying here is,�� why do we need to show everything all the time? And when we show something that people don’t receive well then all of a sudden its body shaming. Maybe it’s not body shaming but some real talk. Why can’t your fat rolls be something you’re proud of but in private? Why can’t you be a fit woman without making people who are not fit feel like pieces of poo? And for God’s sake, why can’t your shit bag be something that I never know you have?

Sometimes things are what they are. If you’re fat, you’re fat.�� If you’re skinny, you’re skinny. If you’re fit, You’re fit.�� And hey that’s okay if you’re okay with it. But do I really need to see every nook and cranny? It doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful.

You can be beautiful no matter what your body type.�� And you can put it on display without it being like, “Here is my fat! Look at iiiiiit! Look at it and you better not look away!”

Here’s an example.�� This plus sized model named Tess Munster is one of the people that I think gets it right. She celebrates her body even in the naked shots she does. This bitch is just beautiful. She knows how to get the most out of her body and her beauty. She works the shit out angles and hides and shows the curves that makes her undisputed-ly…sexy.

Example A:

Werk Bish!

Example B:

Slay!

Example C:

*Dead*

She is now a model for Vogue Italia! Here is the article.

http://www.lifeandstylemag.com/posts/size-22-mom-tess-holliday-lands-modeling-contract-and-appears-in-vogue-50202

In conclusion, I am not a fan of putting it all out there. I AM a fan of loving yourself. No fat rolls. No fit mom shaming. No Kim Kardashian. No shit bags.

Just my opinion.

~VC

 

 

Orgasms….Let’s talk about it

Okay so…..Over the years I have talked to my friends about orgasms and yes it is a little taboo but with me and my friends….we talk about everything.

Here is one of the things I’ve learned. A lot of women are not getting the big O. And this saddens me. I mean truthfully this makes me sad. Every woman should cum and cum hard.

I have friends that have never had an orgasm from sex. And some never have had one at all! AT. ALL. *whelp* Now I’m not saying sex can’t pleasurable without the big finish but man it’s so much better with one.

So look, things haven’t always been flowers and rainbows for me either. I mean I never knew what I was missing but when I met my husband I realized…..

I am not giving too many details (cuz whores be lurking) but there is a reason I married my husband. Yeah Yeah I loved him and all– but the sex. Good God. Even the mundane sex was good. And the things he didn’t necessarily do so well he got an A for effort. And then after he’d been with me a little while he more than excelled. Now he doesn’t even have to try hard (and sometimes he doesn’t) and he gets me there.

Needless to say I get the question weekly about how to achieve orgasm. First of all you have to get to know yourself so you can tell someone else what you like. (Psst….Masturbate) And then do some research. (Psst…. Watch some porn) And then having a talented mate doesn’t hurt (Psst…Pray).

I mean I can’t tell you the magic word. Pretso Cumo! But I can tell you that unless there is a physical problem (or mental block) then there is nothing stopping you from showing your O face.

Then can we talk about multiple orgasms? WOOHOOO!

~VC

Natural Hair…Sorta

Okay I damaged the shit out of my hair by dyeing it blonde a couple years ago. It fell out. I gave myself a mullet. I cried for months.

So I went on a hair journey to grow it back.�� I didn’t go natural but I cut down on the chemicals I put in my hair and I only perm my hair once or twice a year. I use oils and treatments as if it were natural. My hair has grown like wild fire. And the texture has come close to the texture I had when I was a little girl.

But here’s the problem….I have to work sooooo hard to manipulate it.�� It’s so thick and wavy/curly. The only “easy” way to wear it is braided down. And straightening it is a two hour affair ( at least ) and it doesn’t stay straight.

I need help. Any suggestions.

~VC

Writing….

I have been working on my new book. Details coming soon. Let me tell you, writing is hard, especially when you have several other jobs and a family. But as I write my flowery funny little romance novels, I can’t help but consider the other books in my category. I always check out my competition.

It seems like all the other books are about BDSM. Now don’t get me wrong. I read 50 shades of grey like everyone else but every story doesn’t have to be about bondage. I don’t know….

I write Interracial and African American erotica and I don’t feel like every story has to be about a man dominating a woman. I don’t know… something doesn’t feel right about every book being about a white man restraining and sexually dominating an African American woman. Seems like we’ve been there and done that. Just my opinion.

I write about love and sexual freedom.�� Sweet stories with a lot of escapism. No shade to the BDSM writers because I never knock the hustle and obviously there is a market for it. Just saying that’s not my deal right now.

~VC

Quickie #7 (Y’all nasty)

A little while back I wrote about the great Sexual Drought of 2014-15.�� I promised an update and I had yet to give one. I have had a lot of messages about whether or not I have had sex and if I had given in to my dark whims. Also, y’all want to know about those whims.

I’m not telling you.

Y’all nasty!

I will however tell you I have had the sezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (sex). I have ended the drought many times over. LOL.

I will not be sharing details….yet.

~VC

 

My Lazy Ass

I am usually wanting to do everything but lately I don’t want to do shit. I am feeling lazy every day all day.�� I have so much stuff to do but I don’t feel like doing none of it.

I just want to take a nap.

Like right now at 8:00 in the morning I want to take a nap. My bed is calling me. One of my friends said that she caught a case of the lazy’s right before she found out she was preggs. I told her to bite her tongue.

No babies yet…

But how I can get past this laziness? This is not me. But every day has become a challenge. Maybe I need to start drinking coffee.

~VC

Weekend Wrap up

So here’s what happened this weekend

Keep in mind nothing ever happens in my life anymore. I have been a total nun as of late….

So I got hit on this weekend. It was like the beginning of one my novels. I was at Whole Foods and this guy kept staring at me. He was a normal man that didn’t seem homeless so I wondered if there was something on my face. I kept shopping.

I saw the guy next to me by the vegetables. I smiled and then moved on to the fruits and then he was behind me.�� I was like okay?

He was good looking. Like really good looking. And tall. He reminded me of Joe Manganiello. Like for reals. He had muscles. Real muscles. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt and his biceps were bulging….and it didn’t hurt that he didn’t miss leg day.

He asked some question that I didn’t hear and I don’t remember my response because I was distracted by his chiseled jaw and straight white teeth. When he ran a hand through his curly black hair, I couldn’t help but notice the bits of gray mixed in. It made him look distinguished with his youthful face. He was mostly clean shaven with a little five o’clock shadow coming in.

To me he was way too good looking to be straight so I still didn’t get the hint. And I was in Whole Foods on Waugh soooooo…..

He had that black tape on his bicep that I have seen on James Harden and I was curious about it. And since he was still standing next to me (now next to the cheese) I asked him about it.�� He spent the next few minutes talking about it. That was really interesting and I think I will try it on my knee. While trying to explain how the tape sticks he said that the tape has a hard time sticking to him because he’s so hairy but it shouldn’t be a problem for my leg. He said he didn’t want to make an assumption about my legs. Then asked if they were hairless. LOL�� I assured him I was fine. That’s when it happened….

He said, “You’re cute. No. That’s a lie. You’re beautiful. Gorgeous.”

I almost dropped my cheese.

He was shocked by my reaction. I seriously thought he was gay but I didn’t say anything. So I am blushing so hard at this point my face hurt.

I said thank you and moved on. I go over to the milk and look up and who is by me? He touches my shoulder and gives me some advice on a milk alternative. I said I wasn’t shopping for myself but I would take his advice when I went shopping. He smiled.

Then he put his hand over his heart and said that he noticed the big ass ring on my finger and asked if I was married. I said yes I was happily married.�� He said he was going to give me his number but I was married. He asked me if I wanted it any way.

I told him that if I was a dirty dirty cheater then I would take his number but I’m not so I won’t. I know that if I took his number I would be tempted to call him at some point. So I didn’t. I didn’t even get his name.

Why is this such a big deal? Because 2015 must be my year to get hit on my normal people.�� As I have said many times before my usual is the hustleman at the gas station and the homeless man on the corner.

Moe Manganiello talking to me is a once every seven years occurrence.

Anyhoo, Happy MLK day!

~VC

Totally Random Vol. 8 (NSFW)

I wish I had the kind of titties where I could go topless.�� When you have little cute titties, you can take your shirt off and take pictures covering your nips and people think its artistic. When you have small titties you can call them titties and the description is accurate. You can go bra-less at any time. You can BUY bras anywhere.

Low cut dresses can be considered classy on a small tittied woman.

I mean you can even show a boob and it’s pretty and no one cares.

No bra? No problem.

Me….not so much. I wear a regular T-shirt and people randomly yell out whore. Okay maybe not but they’re thinking it. I take my shirt off and pose for a picture, it’s porn not artistic.

Having boobs my size means that I could be considered fat at any moment even if the rest of my body is skinny.�� And now that I’m actually thick (or whatever *eye roll* ) I know what people are thinking. LOL

They are boobs or breasts. Not titties. Never titties.

My bras are special ordered. Victoria’s Secret? Bwahahhahahahahhahahhahahaha. You’re cute.

No matter what outfit I choose I still could be considered to be dressing “sexy”. Really? In this?

Here’s a true story…..I went to the beach with my then boyfriend (he’s a long gone ex now) and I wore a bikini. My bad. We walked past a boy who was maybe 8 or 9 and his mom. The boy yelled out HOLY SHIT! and stopped walking. He stared at me with mouth open. His mom hit him in the back of his head and made him apologize to me. My ex could not stop laughing. I was so embarrassed.

My boobs aren’t even like playboy worthy because I have natural breasts. They are big and heavy. Now don’t get me wrong. They are still good boobs. They just will never be tits. I am sure people want to see them but when I take my top off its ALL sexual.�� Well wait that’s not true. If I’m taking my shirt off in front of another person, it’s either for breast feeding…. OR sex.

Anyhoo, shout out to all the artistic titty women.

Here’s a picture of me rocking my Texans gear.

I told you….

 

~VC

 

 

Lemme take a Smoke Break

Okay so on my personal Facebook page�� I reposted something I thought was cute…..

My bad….. I forgot how touchy the weed subject can be. Now let me be clear. Although I am not a weed smoker, some of my closest friends are in fact weed professionals. I mean no harm.

I just mean for those people that are always talking about they are broke but have not run out of weed since the 90’s……I’m talking about you.

Really any person who has a vice that impedes them from doing responsible things like buying a car or food or paying rent….I’m talking about you.

My one friend said that he was arguing the point that he gone do whatever he want to do. And basically folks who are buying cigarettes, Starbucks, Coca-Cola, weave or going to the club can do the same math as the weed people do and suck it. LMAOOOOO No he didn’t say suck it but I could tell a nerve had been struck.

BTW I don’t do any of those things….except buy weave, I love weave! If I could I would buy a whole wheel barrel full of that Malaysian Virgin and spread it over my bed and lay in it…rubbing it all over my body before I made me a head full of�� hair that would put Beyonce to shame.

LMAOOOO I ain’t lying. But as I sit here weave free I am acknowledging the fact that I have bills and therefore will be paying those instead buying my head full of that Yaki.

So please friends….stop inboxing me about my funky attitude against weed. I get it and I’m sorry. But you remember that post I did a couple weeks ago? You know the one with Kim Kardashians feet?

I wasn’t talking about you in particular and a couple of folks who inboxed me complaining….I ain’t even know you smoked. Stop forcing your foot in a shoe that ain’t meant for you.

I love you all.

And Cherie Johnson This is all your fault.

~VC