Vivienne Craft's Blog, page 4

Clone

Okay so I have been thinking about this for a while now…….I have a strong feeling that in a few years no one will be able to think on their own.  Everyone will be too scared to have an opinion that differs from the masses or that is not down to the letter politically correct.

Here’s an example of what I’m saying. I’m author so I’m on a lot of social media sites and I like to give a different take and upload different content on each one so that my followers won’t get bored seeing the same pictures and hearing me say the same thing. On my Pinterest page I talk about things I see while trolling the internets. They are spur of the moment gut check reactions to pictures. And I am mostly talking to my friends.

Anyhoo, this one lady took offense to me saying that Kim Kardashian with out makeup should stay in the house. I mean she took enough offense to say that she sees Kim’s inner beauty shine through. Okay if that were true then Kim K is dead inside because she looks like a zombie in that picture. So when did it become illegal to have an opinion? I mean Kim K is literally selling everything about herself while telling you which products to buy and to watch her every move on an App. We’re supposed to do all that and not have an opinion about her? Really?

I have said this before and I will say it again….There are beautiful people and ugly folks, smart and dumb and able and disabled. That is the way things work. You can have an opinion about these things. You are NOT bullying or SHAMING anyone by stating what you think. I didn’t go post my opinion on anything Kardashian related. I posted it on my Pinterest.

Anyhoo, later on in the week someone asked me about someone I used to work with.

Ummmm…this person is, how do you say???? Stupid.  That dude was special in the most special kind of way. It amazed me that he could operate a vehicle to make it to work every day. I had to explain to him how to do his job on the daily.  Anyway, I was asked about him and the person asking was someone I would tell the truth to  but after I did, I heard it in her voice. She was shocked. She wanted me to be PC. I immediately wondered why she asked ME in the first place. But then I was like– this is sad. We can’t even tell each the truth because it’s not PC  or with the “group”.

Soon we will all be clones of each other, checking to see if the other person agrees before we say anything. Even if we are speaking the truth. We’ll all be clones of the mediocre with not an original thought to be found for miles. We’ll just be a nation of bobble heads. Individuality will have become extinct like the floppy disks of yesteryear.

I am teaching my daughter to think for herself. It might just save her life or at the very least make her life worth living.

Just my opinion.

VC

Side Pieces

Okay so….I have been doing research about relationships.  I have found some good things out and some not so good things.

I’m thinking of writing a romance novel that has a modern twist to it so I’ve been asking a lot questions….

What I have found is that the average amount  of times that people have sex per week is 3.  I have found out that the couples that do mundane things together are the happiest and that some couples are completely different…..

So let’s talk about it.  Dudes have side pieces and the women do too.  These new fangled relationships are perplexing to me.  Why even be in a relationship if one or BOTH of you are cheating? I’m just not sure. I have talked to a few couples where either the man or woman have revealed they had a side piece.

They have their “loves” and then they have the people they sleep with.  Weird. One guy said that he loved his woman at home but he had so much fun with his girl on the side.  He took this woman on dates and bought her gifts and of course had sex with her. Why didn’t he put that much effort into his love?  I asked the guy did the girl on the side know she was a girl on the side and he said yes.

I just have so many questions. Like why would the side piece willingly be that? And how did the dude justify his behavior? And did his wife know?

Dude said his wife didn’t.  I wanted to know how he would feel if she was doing the same and he admitted that he would probably leave her.

This practice is old as time but when the women start having side pieces to “even the score” I almost want to quit life. I mean on one hand more power to ya but on the other hand why even be married?

Why not just be single and date everybody? Why do you have to be in a relationship lying to the person you claim to love?  And if both of you are doing it then what the hell is the point?

Anyhoo…..

Really Tho?

Okay so I have talked about me doing research for the books that I write and the nastiness that I find.

Um… can someone explain to me why men like to see women peeing? Why is this a thing? What are you getting out of this?

No I mean I need an answer!! Why?  So anywho…I don’t think I will be including this in my books.

Keeping it real….invisible

Okay so the other day one of my friends posted a meme saying (and I’m paraphrasing) when she finds her real love no one will know until she’s engaged.

I thought that was a sad notion. Love shouldn’t be about hiding your man from the world. And believe me this is just my opinion — you shouldn’t be telling your friends (and thirsty bitches) about how big your man’s dick is and how good he gives it to you but you can tell people you have someone.

It’s weird that the world is set up now that a woman feels like she has to keep her relationship secret.

The only relationships that are secret are one’s that are on the down low aka a side piece or cheaters. Or if he is ashamed of you or you of him. When you have found the right mate he wants to tell everyone about you and you want to brag on him. I have known a couple of people who have had “private” relationships and each one of those ended in burning flames.

Things in secret have a negative connotation to them and that does not bode well for a loving environment. Maybe I’m wrong….

I just know that if my husband wasn’t telling people he was with me and I had to refer to him as “Him” then I would drop him like a bag of rocks. LOL

~VC

Totally Random #13

I have been gone for a while….you miss me?

Okay so….I had an interesting conversation the other day and then something happened that tied in with that convo that made me laugh.

Here’s the deal. One of my friends who is married has a friendship with one of her husband’s friends. Now everything is on the up and up. No one is secretly talking to anyone behind the husband’s back but the friend calls the wife and vice versa. They also text and message each other daily. As she was telling me this, I was thinking how this could go left so easily.

I have been in this situation so many times….

In fact, I used to be that person to argue and say that we can all be friends and everything will be okay. However, I have been shown that is foolhardy. Before I was married I broke up a life long friendship between my boyfriend and his best friend. We all hung out only a couple of times and then the friend was calling me (I was not sure how he got my number). At first it was innocent with the friend trying to coordinate a dinner. But then he was texting me “Good Morning”. Then he was calling me talking about I was on his mind. I told the boyfriend who commenced to arguing with his friend and they had an epic fight that I don’t think they ever recovered from.

I later found out he knew my boyfriend was cheating and the friend felt I deserved more. Which I did. But he felt that more was him. I had to pass on both the boyfriend and the friend.

Anyhoo, I told my friend that she needs to be careful because feelings develop out of nowhere and she could wind up in a situation she is not prepared for.  I do think men and women can be friends but I also think you need to be careful and aware of the situation.

So after I dispensed from all this info….I got a message from one of my Hubbs friends. It was super innocent but I had to laugh….

 

Sad but true

Okay so I talk about my family and my two girls a lot.  One of my girls is my actual stepdaughter who I raised since she was 2.  She is classified as I.D. (Intellectually Disabled). I want the world for my girls like every mom does but I also know that the world is not possible for my stepdaughter. It’s a sad but true realization.

Recently, I got into (yet another) conversation about the decisions I make for my stepdaughter and what I allow people to tell her about her future. Everyone seems to have an opinion but in the end the only ones that matter are mine and my husband’s.

Anyhoo, the convo got me up all riled up and needing to vent. (Hence this blog)

My stepdaughter is 20 years old and goes to a special school that is supposed to prepare her for life. And while the school does do a great deal for her it also sets her up for some disappointment. In fact a lot of people in her life are setting her up for disappointment. I have to ask people all the time to stop telling her she is going to be a doctor or a teacher or a lawyer or a hairdresser. It’s just not possible and after a while of being obsessed with something someone has told her my daughter gets depressed and angry that she isn’t doing what they said she would do.

Mostly I see the anger and resentment played out in her relationship with her sister. It kills me that they don’t have a loving relationship. Don’t get me wrong, they have their days of playing outside and fake hugging but mostly it ain’t that. And I understand sisters fight but I hear the angry words coming from one sister’s mouth and the exasperation coming from the other.

I know that the 20 year old is frustrated that the 10 year old can understand more and do more. She can see it and it bothers her. The knew thing she has started doing is following her younger sister around saying, “You need to call me your big sister.” Which is usually followed by the ugliest thing she an think to say.

This upsets the 10 year old who is taller than her big sister (and looks out for her big sister) and of course I have to step in and say that she IS her big sister. That is met by an eye roll (which I put a stop to because I ain’t about that eye roll to your mother life) and an,”I know but…” I can feel her pain but it doesn’t change facts.

People are constantly comparing the 20 year old to a child with a learning disability (like dyslexia) or a child with Downs syndrome. They tell me I am putting my child in a box and cutting off her growth and ability.  Mmkay….They deal with her for a small fraction of time and only see the charming child that sings and laughs all day. They don’t try to make her do practical things that require structure or direction. And if they do, then they see a true lack of understanding or defiance at being told what to do. She doesn’t have dyslexia or Down’s, she has limited intellectual use/growth. It’s different.

I’m not trying to take her future away from her but I am trying to give her REALISTIC goals that she can meet and be proud of herself for. I want her to feel accomplished not like a failure that can’t ever do anything. Isn’t that what a mother SHOULD want for her kid?

I get tired of trying to tell people what I already know and let them find out for themselves. She is stifled by the very nature of her disability, not me. I can get behind people telling her she’s a rock star and letting her get special treatment in school by allowing  her to sing and dance instead of actually doing work. The only thing I can not abide by is when they get my child’s hopes up about some far fetched ideal that even they know isn’t true. It is hurtful to her and therefore hurtful to me. I have to put a stop to the nonsense and bear the indignant “I was trying to help” faces and the judgmental conversations because in the end I know what’s best for her.

Woosah….

VC

But why tho? Vol.3

This one is going to be a quickie. I am supposed to be gone doing stuff but instead I am sitting here scrolling through FB with no pants on. True story.

Okay so….. I hate liars. Now before I get poo poo-ed, I know everybody lies every once in a while.  So I am not that far up on my high horse but I still hate it.

I don’t understand it. In most cases it’s easier to tell the truth. And in my case I usually know what the answer is already before I ask you the question just to see if you’re going to lie.

For instance, I was talking to one of my friends about something that was going on between us. (Not giving details this time) And I asked her if she knew what happened with another one of our friends. She looked me dead in my face and said no. Now I already knew she knew. So I gave her another chance and said come on, it’s just me and you. Do you know? And she said no again.

And when the truth came out she was trying to cover and say it wasn’t her place to tell me. Well….if she really felt that way then that’s what she should have said when I asked the first time. Why lie?

Another example is when I asked a friend if they’d been to a certain place with someone we knew and the friend said no before I even got to the part where I was going to say I saw them together. I was shocked and thrown off like…What?! Yes you did! Why are you lying about that?

Then the other day I was talking with one of my long time friends about another person we’ve known a long time.  And with us comparing notes….and my friend being better than the freaking FBI when it comes to finding stuff out….we discovered that our mutual friend was a complete fraud. Like she put together this whole I’m so good image but she just a regular hood rat. In this case I understand the cause of the lie just not the need to lie. We are all out chere trying to make it. No need to lie to impress. Just be yourself.

Anyhoo…that’s my 2 cents.

~VC

 

 

 

Totally Random #12

Okay so….In my real life I am a complicated person. I will admit that. I believe in loyalty. Like I fiercely believe in loyalty. So if you are one of my friends then count yourself lucky because I will roll with you. I will be that person you can count on.  Quintuple that if you are apart of my family.

But on the flip side….if you cross me too many times (sometimes that is only once) I will write you off and cut you out. Once that line is crossed, I don’t look back. Once you’re gone, you’re gone.

I say all that to talk about a few of my family members.  I mean sometimes the people closest to you will do you dirtier than perfect strangers. Unfortunately, I have been going through that lately.  It is perplexing to me how someone who actually NEEDS you to do something for them will treat you like THEY are the one’s doing YOU the favor.

I am a firm believer in that saying, “The world don’t owe you nothing.” So when someone actually does something for you then you should be thankful if not grateful. And if I am the person taking time out of my day to do something for you then you damn well betta be thankful.

I have been doing things for my family for years and it seems none of them are ever really grateful. They will find something to complain about or be mad at ME about or just plain out take me for granted. And then turn right around and ask me for something else. Why do I continue doing stuff for them? Well first, I do things out of the goodness of my heart, not to get anything back. But second, I know that if I were to cut them off then they would be cut off forever.  I am trying to avoid that as much as I can. But at some point I will say enough is enough.

I know (because I have done it before) that I may be sad for a moment but then comes the feeling of freedom of knowing I won’t have to put up with the bullshit anymore. And if I get that taste of freedom then I ain’t going back to the bullshit. So I keep trying because I love my family and I am fiercely loyal.

You see my conundrum?

I see stupid people…..

Okay so I’m not really sure if I have blogged about this before but I feel the need to talk about stupid people.

I’m not talking about Ignut ass acting folks (we’ll talk about them at a later time) but actually not smart people.

It has been irking me that I’m not rich and I see a lot of folks that are  but they’re dumb as hell and I wonder…..Why Jesus? Why didn’t you pick me? I’m smart and I deserve it.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not poor and I am highly thankful for what I have but it took hard work and me being smart to get here. But when I look around and see people getting that chedda that I have to actually wonder how they make it thru each day…I get a little envious. I know its a trap designed to get me off my path but dang.

Lets start thinking of it on a small scale. We all know that one manager at work that LITERALLY knows nothing about there own job or the job that you do. They will ask you questions that will have you wondering….”How do you even work here?” and “What do you actually do here?” You know the person that has to get “help” with everything. Or the “Do me a favor?” guy.  You know the one that never knows the answer to anything? The one that will turn to you in a meeting when HIS boss asks HIM a question?

I worked at this one place where the manager would come to my desk EVERY day and ask me how to do reports that only HE had access to. Because they were HIS job only.  So I had to LEARN how to do them to teach him how to do them and he still came to me for help. Then turn around and ask me to print them…..I had to use his access code to do it. Again, because it was his job. Stupid. How do you make six figures and drive an E class?

On a slightly larger scale, I see a lot of stupid celebrities. A LOT! Like they may be (or actually be) illiterate. But at least I can say those people have a skill. Except for the Kardashians. See that shit right there makes me hate life. You can’t do hair or something? Anything?! You’re famous for being famous and rich from selling shit from being famous. It makes me want to curse my own soul.

I work so hard at everything I do and they’re family trade is sex , clothes and plastic surgery.  They’re so stupid they’re geniuses.  Like they’ve dumbed their way to the other side!

Anyhoo, rant over. With more and more stupid people having kids, I fear for our future. No one thinks school and education is important anymore. Words are losing their meaning and fresh ideas are hard to come by. But there are a handful of people doing the damn thing and my hope lies with them.

~VC

Getting old

Okay so….

Every day I wake, I am a little older.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am grateful. So GRATEFUL!  But I’m freaking out inside. I look at all the people around me slowly turning into their parents and grandparents and it scares the hell out of me.

I’m not particularly vain but I am scared of looking like somebody’s mama. But I think I already do. Nobody explained that getting old just happens to you. One day I woke up and the idea of going out took a back seat to sitting in bed watching Law & Order all day.

I mean seriously, I have seen every single episode of every incarnation of that show.  I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself.  I workout and what not but I see my body changing and I hate it.

And there is the whole…..What have I accomplished angle. There is so much I want to do and so much I haven’t done.  I think about this more and more. But here’s the thing. I want to do more but I’m ALWAYS tired. And I’ve heard that the getting  tired thing only gets worse as you get older. So then I am reminded of that commercial about doing cocaine.

I don’t do anything because I’m tired because I’m getting older and I get more tired so I dont do anything….

And then I realize I’m slipping away from youth my when I don’t know (or care about ) 60% of the people on a red carpet for an awards show. Any awards show. I’m usually that chick that is tuning in to E! for the red carpet and oohing and ahhing over what people have on. And I usually know who EVERY ONE is. I don’t know who these people are and they all pretty much annoy me.   I don’t even care enough to DVR it anymore.

Who am I? What am I turning into? What will I become?

~VC