Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 56

Embrace Your Marriage: A Virtual Marriage Retreat

Have you been hoping to attend a marriage retreat?

But maybe you just haven’t been able to get away.

Or maybe you’ve both been way too busy.

Or perhaps you simply haven’t been able to afford it.

Well, how you would you like to come to our Virtual Marriage Retreat?

You don’t even have to leave the house (unless you want to) and it doesn’t cost a thing.

Yes, I’m totally serious. Lovely idea, isn’t it? I thought so too.

That’s why I’m so excited to share with you this new Marriage Series starting the 1st of September!

Every Monday in September, each of the following blogs will be offering a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage. You can meet my wonderful blogger friends over at the following sites . . . .

Darlene Schacht of Time-WarpWife
Courtney Joseph of WomenLivingWell
Ashleigh Slater of AshleighSlater
Jennifer Smith of UnveiledWife
Sheila Gregoire of ToLoveHonorandVacuum

And here’s what you have to look forward to!

September 1 – Embracing Grace 
September 8th – Embracing Change  
September 15th – Embracing Your Differences  
September 22nd – Embracing Unity 
September 29th – Embracing Friendship 

So mark your calendar and join us each week as we all share on these very important topics in marriage. And be sure and invite any friends who might be blessed by this event as well.

Looking forward to seeing you on Monday!

*If you have topics or questions that you would like covered in this series, would you let me know? Either in a comment below, or on my contact page? I’ll do my best to cover it if I can!

In His grace,

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

The post Embrace Your Marriage: A Virtual Marriage Retreat appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Super Simple Menu-Planning That Really Works

What is that one thing that is going to save you both time and money?

Oh, and stress.

Let’s not forget that. Saves you stress.

You know what I’m talking about.

Menu-planning.

And you know you’re supposed to do this.

Maybe you’ve already started this good practice.

And started.

And started.

And started . . . ?

Yeah. Me too.

So since we’re being honest with each other? I’m going to come right out with it: I’m terrible about meal-planning.  Absolutely terrible.

What’s worse it that I know it would help me out and it’s not all that hard to do.

But still I don’t do it.

Why?

Maybe because it’s one more thing to do. Takes time and thought.

So then dinner keeps sneaking up on me. Every. Single. Night.

Terrible.

On most nights, I just have to wing it!

I think I’ve tried just about every system out there and, while I don’t have anything against any of them, I haven’t found anything that works for me.

Until now.

I began using this method for meal-planning last year and I am sold on it.

I love it!

And now I’m sharing it with you . . . in case you end up loving it too.

What do I love about it?

It’s simple.
It family- friendly.
It’s quick and easy.

What more could you ask for?

Okay, here it goes . . . .  (complete with illustrations!)

A Super Simple Menu-Plan That Really Works

1.  Come up with 7 Categories of Meals.  I’ve noticed every family has their own kind of foods that they enjoy. Brainstorm just a bit to think what sorts of food these would be. You can also vary them according to the season.

Example: Chicken, Pizza, Soups, Pasta, Mexican, Thai, Beef, Salads, Rice Dishes, etc.

*Sorry about the coffee smudge in the middle of the page . . . but you know me

2.   Come up with  4 kinds of meals for each category. This is easier than it sounds. Like this:

Chicken:  Barbeque chicken, Chinese chicken, Roasted chicken, Chicken enchiladas, etc.

Pasta:  Spaghetti, Fettucini Alfredo, Macaroni & Cheese, etc.

3.  Designate a Category for each night. I try to think through our basic family schedule and what our needs are for each evening. For instance, on the day we’re in town for much of the day, I might designate as “easy dinner night” or “crock pot night”.

Example: Monday is Chicken Night. Tuesday is Crock Pot night. Friday is Pizza Night.

4.   Get out your calendar and start plugging it it! Bonus: If you come up with 8 dishes for each category, then you have 2 months worth. Or maybe your family is fine with the same basic meals each month. Maybe you’re adventurous and want to have a designated Try-A-New-Recipe night. That’s fun too!

Side-Dishes: Personally, I don’t worry so much about the side dishes. I can usually come up with those easily enough. If you’d like to include them in your menu-plan, however, I’d use the same approach and brainstorm your side dishes and add those in as well.

Here’s the beauty of this super simple system: I don’t have to think.

Or, at least not too much.

I just wake up on Monday morning and already know that it is Chicken Night. That means I simply start by pulling chicken out of the freezer.

That was easy.

And when the kids ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” I can boldly proclaim, “Chicken!” and it increases their confidence in me.

And increases their confidence that we are actually going to have dinner that night.

Two big points right there.

Now if you’re thinking this just isn’t working for you, that’s okay. It won’t hurt my feelings.

I have another suggestion that you might like better. Kelly of  TheNourishingHome shares a “healthy real food meal plan” every other week on TheBetterMom and you might want to check out that option too.

And if all else fails?

Wing it! 

It’s alright, I’ve been doing it for years . . . .

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

 

 

The post Super Simple Menu-Planning That Really Works appeared first on Club 31 Women.

On Why It’s So Critical That We Connect With Friends

No one ever thought it would happen.

Least of all her.

She was a pastor’s wife and a homeschooling mom. A lovely lady with four beautiful children.

And now it’s completely fallen apart.

Heartbreak, divorce, and she’s left them all.

Not that everything was perfect because it wasn’t.

But what actually happened? Something went wrong somewhere.

Left her family behind – bewildered and searching for answers.

What would have made a difference? And what would have helped? These are the some of the questions we’ve all agonized over.

The answer isn’t simple and I don’t pretend it to be. But there is one thing that I’m certain would have helped.  Might have even changed the course of this family’s history.

And that one thing is pressed upon my heart today.

A close friend.

I believe a good friend could have helped tremendously in that situation. Possibly turned it around.

Because when you’re left alone with your own thoughts and your own struggles? Your own pain and your own sin and weakness? As well as the the pain and sin of those around you?

It’s easy to get confused and off-track. To spiral downward. To listen to those negative, destructive voices.

And this is right where the Enemy wants you to be.

Which is why Christ urges us – commands us, really – that we are to love one another.  Deeply.  Fervently.

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. ~ John 15:12-13

We are made to walk closely with one another.

Not alone.

Yet so many of you have written me telling me how lonely you are and how your heart aches for someone to understand and care about you.

And I get it. I really do.

It is increasingly difficult to find friends in this busy, fragmented world we live in. Friendship is risky and it’s rare. And yet  I believe it’s essential for us as believers to be walking closely with others.

We need each other, sisters. 

How Do You Closely Connect with True Friends?

Pray for friends. I’ve found over the years that I’ve had to pray for friends. Ask God to bring women in your life who will love you. Support and challenge you.  As iron sharpens iron (Prov. 27:17).

Reach out. Don’t wait for someone else to make the first move. Swallow your fears and your insecurities and take a chance. Some of my closest friendships came out of my shy and hesitant, “Hi, I’m Lisa and I was wondering…..?”

Get creative. Don’t limit yourself to your small circles, but be willing to seek out friends from various places and stages in life. Some of my friends are local and some live all over the world. Some are older and others are younger than me. Each has something unique to offer in friendship.

Share openly. Be real with a few trusted friends – using discretion – and be willing to be honest and vulnerable. Feels risky, I know, but it’s a risk worth taking. God doesn’t want us to live in the shadows, but to walk out into the light.

Speak truth. I am grateful for friends who are willing to speak truth into my life. Sometimes we can be so hesitant about “hurting” a friend –  that we hurt them worse by not being willing to be honest with them.  So let’s lovingly, graciously, speak truth to each other too.

Communicate love. True friendship takes both time and effort. Show your friends by your words and by your actions that you love and care for them. Yes, pour into your family, but invest in good friendships too—friendships that will encourage you in your spiritual walk and ministry.

Friends, we were never meant to walk alone. And it’s not enough to give a quick hug between church services, or wave to one another from across the parking lot. We were meant for so much more.

God intended for us to be closely connected.

Love you, Sisters!

*What do you think is essential for deep friendships? How have you been able to find friends in this swirling world we live in?

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post On Why It’s So Critical That We Connect With Friends appeared first on Club 31 Women.

My 10-Step, Zero Meltdown Plan for Grocery Shopping With Children

My heart went out to the poor thing.

The little dear was crying.

Screaming, really.

A total meltdown.

And I didn’t know who I felt more sorry for – the young child? Or his struggling mom?

It was a toss-up. They were both so miserable.

My husband and I were at the Costco check-out and I could hear him wailing all the way down the aisle. I think we all could hear him.

I knew what the mother felt like. You see, I’ve been there. Except that I didn’t just have one child.  I had three, maybe four, and it wasn’t any fun.

In truth, I’m not an enthusiastic grocery shopper in the first place, but then to add a crying kid or two?

Well, I think I’d rather we went without food.

But as the rest of my family had a different opinion, I figured I’d better come up with a plan that worked for all of us.

A Zero Meltdown Plan.

And I’m going to share it with you today.

You know, just in case you ever need it . . . or know someone else who might.

My 10-Step, Zero Meltdown Plan for Grocery Shopping With Young Children

1.   Feed your children first . And then yourself. Never go shopping when you’re hungry. Never, ever.

2.  Leave when you’re all well-rested. Your kids. And yourself. (You knew I was going to add that, didn’t you.) Go in the morning, or after naps, but avoid going right before naps or close to bedtime.

3.   Write up your grocery list before you ever go out the door. This list is your strategy plan and you have to stick to it. Take care of all the decision-making before you even get there.

4.   Decide on your expectations for your children (does not apply to babies). Come up with a policy that you believe is reasonable and clear. Things like, No grabbing items off the shelves and No begging for particular food items. No whining (goes for mommy too) and Always stick close to mom. That kind of stuff.

5.   Explain instructions before you leave the house. Sit your children down and slowly and lovingly walk through your expectations with them. Don’t be in a rush. This is important.

6.  Outline the consequences of not following the Grocery Store Policy. Again, slowly and lovingly. The consequences will vary from family to family (and I highly recommend getting your husband’s input, if that’s an option).

7.   Review instructions again before leaving the vehicle. Yes, even if the grocery store is only 15 minutes from the house. Children can have such short memories with these things.

*Let me add that it’s easy to assume that our kids know what is expected from them, but this is not always the case. We have to spell it out to them. And repeat it. And repeat. And . . .

8.  Get your shopping done as quickly as possible. Not necessarily rushing, but this is not the time to browse or meander. If you want a leisurely time of it, then arrange to go sometime without your young children.

9.   Be willing to follow through on consequences. Seriously. If you miss #9? Well, it kind of defeats the purpose of #4, #5, and #6.

10.  Reward your children for behaving. Personally, I’m a big fan of rewards! Not bribes, not spoiling, just a simple celebration of a job well done. Maybe a treat, a special privilege, or even just an excited phone-call to daddy telling him, We did it! Yay!!

*Bonus: Reward yourself.  Highly recommended. Your celebration may vary a bit from your child’s, but a mommy could use a little treat now and then too.

*Extra, extra bonus:  Teach your children about shopping as you go along. Talk to them and explain what you’re doing and why.

And before you know it, they’ll be doing the shopping for you. I say this because I’ve basically worked myself out of that job.

And that’s a reward in and of itself! Big yay!!

*Any tips you’d add here? Questions or concerns? I always love hearing from you!

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post My 10-Step, Zero Meltdown Plan for Grocery Shopping With Children appeared first on Club 31 Women.

The 5 Things You Need to Know If You’re Homeschooling

*An encouraging word for those of my friends who are homeschooling this year – whether for the 1st time or the 15th. 

If only I knew how this story was going to end . . . .

Then I think I could do this, I agonized while snuggling into my husband one night.

And it’s not even that I minded the hard work, the sacrifice, and the challenge of homeschooling so much. It’s more the thought of doing all this . . . for nothing that got to me.

What if it didn’t amount to anything? Or, worse, what if I wasn’t doing it right?

Yes, it was the possibility of this turning out to be more of a fantasy than a Real Lifestory that discouraged and made me want to give up. I was really counting on a happy ending for this one.

I know. Kinda silly.

But that’s how my mind works sometimes (especially when I’m overtired). I want to rush ahead and find out where we’re going with all this . . . .

I want to know the end of the story.

Yet that’s not how it works with homeschooling.

You only get to go through one chapter at a time.

One child at a time.

And on some days? One word at a time.

But take heart, you might not get to peek at the ending, but I’m confident it’s going to be a very good story and certainly one worth writing.

And one worth reading someday too.

Hoping to Write a Real Homeschool Story?

1.  Don’t be discouraged by a day. It’s only one day. And such days do not determine the entire tale. Just turn that page and keep going. As Anne of Green Gables says, “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” Lovely thought. Tomorrow is a fresh piece of paper on which to write something totally new.

2.  It’s a story about a relationship – not a method. Truly. It doesn’t matter what curriculum you use or what subjects you cover. While it might not be how it’s presented out there, that’s the inside scoop. What matters is their hearts. That terrific (or lousy) math curriculum will never have the significant impact on their lives that a loving, learning, teaching parent will. You are what they really need.

3.  Don’t read over someone else’s shoulder. Their story is not your story. That family over there might look accomplished and successful. And that’s great for them. But you are on your own unique adventure. Look to the Lord what for what He intends for your family. He’s got something in mind specially suited to you.

4.  Review your main theme. Remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Prov. 29:18). So if you feel like you’re “perishing”? Go back to the beginning. Why you started this story in the first place. It might be just what you need to tackle that next chapter.

5.  The Lord wants to reveal Himself through your story. Above all. We sometimes forget that this isn’t actually all about us. Or even our children. It’s about the Author and what He’s doing in us and through us.

You only have to let Him shine.

Yep. Let Him shine through your weaknesses, your set-backs, and even your mistakes.

And isn’t it reassuring to realize that this whole thing doesn’t depend on us, but on Him who is more than able?

So I guess we know how this story is going to end after all.

Because we know Him.

And He’s the Real Story.

Enjoy a terrific year of shining for Him together!

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post The 5 Things You Need to Know If You’re Homeschooling appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Teaching Our Children The 10 Habits of Happiness

The goal of parenting is not a happy child, but to turn out a successful adult.

That ‘s what our friend informed us as we all sat around the dinner table together. Two couples enjoying a fine meal and fine china. Two couples without children.

And you know something? At first, it seemed to make sense.

Our friend expounded on his theory. I mean, what makes a child happy? If you give a kid a piece of candy, then he’s happy. If you don’t, then he’s not. You can’t build a life around that.

Now isn’t that the truth!

Never mind that the gentleman didn’t actually have any children of his own. He was older and wiser. A sage looking on from a distance.

But then Matthew and I went on to have children ourselves and our view changed a bit. Quite a bit. Suddenly we didn’t see anything wrong with wanting our child to be happy.

And, tell me again, how does happiness conflict with being a successful adult?

Maybe we wanted too much.

But my husband and I wanted our children to enjoy both a happy childhood and a successful adulthood.

We started to consider the possibility that the two of these went together – even went hand-in-hand. We began to suspect that learning how to be happy could be a very important skill to take into adulthood.

What if we were to  pass on to our children the habits of happiness as a gift? Something  that they could carry with them wherever God took them in life.

The 10 Habit of Happiness to Teach Our Children

1.   Happiness is not found in things. Things will never make you happy. Never. Stuff will always remain just that: stuff. So don’t get drawn into the Stuff Game – it’s not nearly as much fun as it sounds.

2.   Happiness is a choice. Here’s the deal: happiness is not something you “find” or that “happens to you”. The beauty of happiness is that it is a choice you get to make. Every day. So why not choose to be happy?

3.   Happiness is not about getting your way. We think we’ll be content if we finally get what we want, or if things go our way. But that’s not how it works. Getting our way all the time is rarely as satisfying as we think it will be.

4.   Happiness grows out of thankfulness. If you make it your habit to be grateful each day for the blessings around you – whether big or small – you will find that you’ll become a happier person. The secret  is simply being  thankful for what you have right now.

5.   Happiness is found in looking after others. Surprised? Often, we assume that happiness is found in looking after ourselves, but the irony is that we are the ones who are blessed . . . when we are blessing others.

But he who has mercy on the poor, happy is he. ~ Prov. 14:21

6.   Happiness isn’t a personality trait, but a character quality. Some people seem happy as if that’s just the way they were made. Not so. Happiness is available to all for the taking. You can learn to be happy –  much like you learn to be honest, kind, and thoughtful.

7.   Happiness is found more in relationship, than in achievement.  While there’s nothing wrong with achieving goals, never let those goals come before the people you love.  Always invest in relationships more than fame or fortune.

8.   Happiness means giving it your best. And resting in that. Doesn’t have to be perfect.

9.   Happiness doesn’t depend on circumstances.  You don’t have to let your situation determine your happiness. For inspiration, read about people like Corrie Ten Boom or Darlene Deibler Rose and you’ll see what I mean.

10.   True happiness is always grounded in the God of Hope.  He is the only real source of true joy.

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,

Whose hope is in the LORD his God.  ~ Psalm 146:5

So now we’re enjoying raising a bunch of happy kids.

And aiming those happy kids toward a successful adulthood.

Looking to the God of Hope together.

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post Teaching Our Children The 10 Habits of Happiness appeared first on Club 31 Women.

How to Help Your Fall-Apart Child…Pull It Together

Any advice for this weary mom?

She was tired, discouraged, and a little disappointed. Wondered if she was doing it right.

My friend went on to explain. Her 12-year-old daughter had been helping with the dishes since she was about three. But as their family size grew, she now had to handwash a few extra dishes, mainly pots and pans. Not too difficult of a chore.

Except that she kept forgetting. And had to be called back to the sink to do them.

And 100% of the time she threw a crying fit about it.

My friend nearly despaired.

The last thing I ever wanted was to raise kids who are spoiled – too good or too lazy to put in some work. Is this normal, kid behavior? I mean, I can understand not being thrilled with doing chores. *I* don’t love doing chores. But to scream and cry about it?

I feel like a horrible mom. Am I expecting too much from her? I know she is capable of washing the dishes, but her attitude . . . ?

Any advice for this weary mom?

Ah yes, the Fall-Apart Child.

While this can be frustrating to just about any parent, it can be especially so to the more no-nonsense mom.

Downright exasperating to a mom like me.

Yet God saw fit to give me a Fall-Apart Child. Probably so I’d be more sympathetic to all the parents out there with fall-apart children—very sympathetic.

The short answer?

Yes, it is normal. At least for the fall-apart child.

Are you expecting too much?

No, your expectations aren’t too high,  but it might take more time and effort to help this child learn to pull it together.

So if a child is struggling with cheerfully responding, the first thing I’d do  is examine the possible reasons.

*Because the original question was in regards to a daughter, I will refer to the child as “she”, but recognize the same holds equally true for a son.

Here are some possibilities:

1. She is working too much. She’s expected to do too much around the house for a child her age. It’s a burden for her. In that case, lighten her load.

2. She is not working enough. She’s become “spoiled” so that work is cramping her style. In that case, I’d cheerfully add jobs to her list. Not only does she have to do the extra pots, she can do the next meal’s dishes all by herself.

3. She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand or embrace the connection between her contribution to the home and the blessing it is to you and her family. You might need to help her grasp the gift that it is to her family.

Some Ways to Help Your Fall-Apart Child . . . Learn to Pull It Together:

Tie her to your apron strings. Which is to say pull her in closely by your side. Work together, play together, spend time together. I have one daughter in particular that I’ve had to do this with at age 3, 6, 9, 12, and 15. Umm…you get the idea. She just seemed to need more tying than the others.

For her, Relationship speaks more strongly than responsibility.

Take time to SLOW down. I’ve even put a halt to all extra activities and focus solely on attitudes for a period of time. Because rather than rushing off to the next event or appointment, I have the time (and patience) to get to the bottom of the attitude issue. It makes for a slow week or two, but it can sure pay off.

Get creative. Sometimes I’ll try something unusual and do things like offer to wash the dishes with her. Or even for her. Remaining calm, kind, and simply offering a gift of grace.

Communicate confidence. My daughter later confided in me that it really mattered whether I communicated if I thought she would conquer…or if I doubted if she’d ever really make it.

Confession: I had no idea that it was obvious to her how weary she made me and I certainly underestimated how strong the impact would be. She needed to know that I believed in her.

So if you have a Fall-Apart Child?

Look her in the  eyes – ignore the tears and fussing – and communicate that you are confident that she can to this and that she is stronger than she knows. Be that powerful voice in the heart and mind of your child.

And now for a word of hope to the weary mom.

Just because she’s this way at 12 (or 5 or 15 or whatever) doesn’t mean she’ll be like this forever.

I know because I’ve watched my Fall-Apart Child grow tremendously since she was 12. In fact, you’d never guess now that she fell apart. Ever. What was once her weakness has become her strength.  She can climb mountains and suffer severe trials  - without throwing a single crying fit.

And the same with your Fall-Apart Child.

She will grow and she will conquer.

She just needs your patient, steady instruction to help her find her strength.

She’ll pull it together.

With you by her side.

*Do you have a Fall-Apart Child? Or maybe you were one yourself? Please share any insights you have on what encourages you and/or your child!

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post How to Help Your Fall-Apart Child…Pull It Together appeared first on Club 31 Women.

My Mom Never Taught Me to Love My Body…and Other Beautiful Lessons I’ve Learned

Love your body.

As a graduate of the social work program, I have a tendency to have a Facebook newsfeed filled with ‘woman-empowerment’ related articles. Over the past couple of months, I began to notice more and more articles written by moms trying to teach their girls to ‘love their bodies’. The wording varied, but it seemed to be a movement around showing pride over the natural body, appreciating different sizes and shapes, and building confidence.

I got sucked in.

I began to watch my 5-year-old closely and soon began to worry if I was doing enough to strengthen her self-image. I caught myself imagining conversations down the road about eating disorders, appropriate clothing, and treating your body with respect. It wasn’t long after that I became convinced there should have been a better screening process for who was allowed to birth and raise little girls.

A month later I found myself staring out the window at my parents’ house as I continued to worry about teaching my daughter to ‘love her body’.

Maybe I should compliment her more about being kind to distract her.

Maybe I should do more to teach her that everyone is beautiful in their own way.

Maybe I should . . . let my parents raise her until she’s older.

And that’s when it hit me.

My mom never taught me to love my body. My mom never taught me to appreciate different shapes and sizes of people or that there was beauty in getting old.

She was too busy.

She was too busy teaching me how to cook as I’d spend hours sitting on the kitchen counter with my heels banging against the cupboards. She was too busy praying with us about being thankful and blessed. She was too busy thinking about the families from the school that she worked with as a parent advocate. She was too busy teaching me how to think of others.

Maybe she forgot.

Or maybe she was so busy being thankful and serving others that she didn’t think of it.

I never remember watching my mom spend time getting ready in front of a mirror (in fact, I don’t remember us owning a full-length mirror until we were older) or agonizing over an outfit. We never went for manicures as a ‘pick-me-up’ or a way to feel pretty.

As I was watching out the window I began to realize that I was too busy worrying that I was missing it. I was missing the lake and watching the wind bend the trees. I was missing my healthy daughter swinging from the neighbor’s high rope (wait . . . is that too high?) squealing with delight.

I was missing being thankful.

Not long after, we were driving on our camping trip out west and I turned to see my daughter riding with her head out the window feeling the wind in her face. She turned to look at me and said, “I’m thankful that God made so many amazing views for us to look at, mom. He must have really known what we’d like.”

I’m thankful that God made so many amazing views for us to look at, mom. He must have really known what we’d like. ~ Five-year old daughter

I hope she keeps being too busy. Too busy looking out windows and being thankful. Too busy serving others. Too busy enjoying time with family and friends.

Do I hope she loves her body? I guess.

Even more though, I hope that she is so busy living life that she doesn’t really notice.

Which brings it all back to me.

Perhaps instead of teaching my daughter to ‘love her body’,  I’ll just keep teaching her to look out, to be thankful, and to serve others.

~ Katie Trotter

I’m Katie, the wife of a supportive, funny, (did I mention extremely handsome?) husband and mother of a sweet, spunky, reptile-loving 5-year-old girl. A year ago I left a job being the Executive Director of a non-profit to home-school our daughter and do contract work. It’s been a fun and challenging opportunity that I wouldn’t change for the world.

Over the years I have learned that God is FAITHFUL and that His love and grace allow our hearts to heal, forgive, and love more than we ever thought possible.

 

(May contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

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The post My Mom Never Taught Me to Love My Body…and Other Beautiful Lessons I’ve Learned appeared first on Club 31 Women.

You Married a Sinner Not an Angel {& 3 Ways to Keep the Joy and Unity}

A wedding is one of the most joyful and beautiful celebrations on earth.

The flowers and decorations, beautiful dresses and sparkling jewelry, radiant brides and grinning grooms all paint a wonderful picture. The traditions and symbols passed down from generation to generation speak words of wisdom and declare covenants.

Flowers signify joy within marriage and the rings testify to the unending love and devotion God has for his bride, as well as the love and devotion a couple should have for each other until death breaks the circle. There are festivities and music, food and dancing. In some cultures the wedding celebrations can go on for days.

But at some point the music fades, the flowers dry up, and only a memory of that intense joyful day remains.

And there is something else. Something that is with the bride and groom throughout the planning, the ceremony, and the honeymoon. Something that stays with them throughout their marriage.

You can’t see it as they walk down the aisle in all their splendor, but it is there–ugly and heavy though invisible for a time. As the honeymoon season ends and the wedding gifts are unpacked and put away, the baggage of our sin begins to be unpacked. Out comes pride and rudeness, unkind tone of voices, laziness and disrespect. Selfishness in various forms is unpacked and set up around the home.

Add to these vices the stresses of everyday life like bills, personal preferences, disagreements, small annoyances, fatigue and the marriage relationship can become strained.

What every married couple must confront is the reality that they did not marry an angel, but a sinner. The prince is part frog, and the princess is still cursed.

For the unprepared who have walked into marriage with romantic notions of a storybook life walk right into the wall of sin. And even those who are prepared for the realities of corruption in our most precious relationships it can be difficult and painful.

There are three things I have learned over the past 17 years of marriage that have helped my husband and I maintain joy and unity over the years–all of which are marked by his and my sin.

3 Ways to Keep the Joy and Unity

Be a Confessor

Know your sin. Be honest with yourself about your weaknesses and struggles. Be willing to admit when you mess up, when you fail, when you sin and repent. Repent before God, but repent before your spouse as well. Make apologies when needed without excuses or explanations.

Be a Forgiver

In marriage we will be sinned against. We have all experienced this and it is our job to be forgivers. Jesus told Peter to forgive 70 x7 times (Matt. 18:22 ), meaning infinitely. Why? because we have been forgiven. We have sinned against Christ more than any person will ever sin against us and he has forgiven each sin. We continue to sin against Christ and he continues to extend mercy, grace and forgiveness. Marriage is the perfect vehicle through which we can imitate God and live out the forgiveness we have been given by extending such grace to each other.

Be an Encourager

One of the blessings of being married is that you are not alone. Your partner is there to walk with you through all of life, and they need you and your words of grace as much as you need theirs. As a Christian this is not our real home, we are passing through and the journey is hard. We must learn to speak words of kindness and encouragement to our spouses because these words blossom into motivation and earnestness as we fight sin together in order to bring honor to our Savior.

Marriage is one of the most beautiful relationships on earth, but it is also one of the hardest.

Thankfully God is with us and for us, he will give us the strength and grace we need to handle hard days. The spirit will convict us of sins that we need to weed out and eradicate, and Christ has extended forgiveness to his children so we do not need to wallow in guit and sin, but can find joy and excitement to live for his glory together.

Jen Thorn,  JenThorn.com

Jen grew up in Germany and spent a few years as a missionary kid in Africa. She ended up at Moody Bible Instituted where she met her husband. They have been married 17 years and have 4 children. She loves studying and talking about theology and has a passion to help women take their walk with God to a deeper level. She is one of the writers at goodmorninggirls.org, timewarpewife.com, christianity.com and jenthorn.com. You can find Jen on Twitter @Jenlthorn, on Facebook, and on Instagram.

 

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

The post You Married a Sinner Not an Angel {& 3 Ways to Keep the Joy and Unity} appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Late Summer News and Upcoming Fall Fun

So I’ve been meaning to write you for some time now.

And for those who have newly subscribed this might be a first for you. But just so you know, I usually send out a newsletter at least once a season – sometime more often. It’s my opportunity to share with you in a more personal way and keep you posted on events and news that might be coming up.

With that in mind, here’s this Summer’s News….

I love summer.

I really do.

I love the sunshine, the flowers, the outdoors, the looser schedule, and hanging out on our back porch. It’s my happy season. And for those of you who are following me on Instagram, you’re probably not surprised. Every day seem to bring some some wonderful or beautiful gift to share! (You can find me on Instagram here.)

Our family tries to make the most of the short summer months here in Central Oregon, so we spend as much time as possible hanging out at the many lakes in the area. We enjoy hiking, fishing, and simply floating for hours in the water. Our boys also had an amazing experience traveling to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons this summer with their dad and Grandpa. It was a Guys’ Trip to always remember!

What’s Happening at Club31Women

CRASH! You might have noticed a couple of weeks ago, that the blog crashed and then continued to crash, crash, crash. Due to heavy traffic, the site was overloaded and – not to go into too many of the gory details – I clearly needed a new server. Unfortunately, the process turned out to be more complicated than it should have been, but thanks to the prayers of many and the expert help of a friend or two, we are now back up with a new spiffy server and other terrific improvements. I do apologize for the inconvenience for those of you who encountered the “forbidden” message (not sure what that was all about!).

Real-Life Homemaking started off as simply a fun series, but it’s been so well-received that it looks like I’ll be making it a regular feature here on Club31Women. So let me know if you have a topic you’d like me to cover and I’l try to include it!

How to Change the Laundry into the Chore You Love
6 Great Ways to Show Hospitality (even if it’s not your strong point)
How to Live Neatly Around the Mess of Children

Club31Women Book Reviews is another new feature. I’ve always been an enthusiastic reader, so I’m enjoying sharing with you the books that have blessed me, helped me, and/or inspired me.

For instance, I was thrilled to find these books by the Ulrich’s for children here: A Charming Children’s Series – At Long Last: A Review of The Growly Books .

Speaking of books, I want to share with you a book that my friend Heather has written. She shares in her devotional book that, “While we are in the midst of trials and joys, triumphs and defeats, good and bad—we can turn to God’s Word for encouragement.” Heather invites you to sit at the Master’s feet, as Mary did, and learn from Him.

Available here:  At the Master’s Feet: Encouragement For Your Soul

When children see us humbly seeking true forgiveness after we’ve sinned against them, we’re not only showing them how to walk we’re also providing a safe place to do so. ~ Matthew L Jacobson

You all probably know my husband by now, but if you haven’t yet had the chance to see his new site, MatthewLJacobson.com,  I hope you’ll pop over there! He writes on marriage, family, church, and culture and you can pretty much count on him to make you think, ponder, and, often, laugh. He certainly challenges me (and makes me laugh too). He and I are looking forward to writing together more this coming year!

Coming Up This Fall…..

Looking for some encouragement in your marriage? This September I’ll once again be joining up with Time-Warp Wife, WomenLivingWell, Unveiled Wife, and Ashleigh Slater to offer a “virtual marriage retreat” for you. Stay tuned for more details . . . . (I’ve always wanted to say that!)

So what’s coming up next? Lots of wonderful projects! For one, our 100 Ways to Love books are about to be released in Spanish (any day now). We’re very excited about this new translation!

We’re also working on a NEW parenting book which we hope will be ready for release later in the year.

Well, as you can see, I’m long overdue in writing you. I’ll try not to wait quite so long the next time.

I hope you know that I often pray for you. I also read every comment and email that comes in. You mean more to me than I’m always able to express, so please don’t hesitate to communicate what’s on your heart and mind. It truly matters to me.

And lastly, I hope you enjoy these last few weeks of summer!  

I’ll be thinking about fall soon . . . but not before we enjoy one more trip – or two – to the lake.

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Our books are now available:  100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

 

The post Late Summer News and Upcoming Fall Fun appeared first on Club 31 Women.