Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 64

FREE Printable: 103 Words of Affirmation Every Husband Wants to Hear

We need your affirmation – we have to have it and, oh, how we thrive with it.Typically, men are quiet about these things but that doesn’t mean we need and enjoy our wife’s affirmation any less. And every man feels it: When his woman is behind him, he can slay dragons. ~ Matthew L Jacobson

 A free printable of over a hundred different ways to let your man know how much you appreciate and admire him. These are the kinds of things that say “I love you” long after Valentines Day is behind us.

 Download your printable here:  103 Words of Affirmation Every Husband Wants to Hear

I hope it blesses both you and him – and your marriage for years to come!

* To read the entire list, you can view the original post here: 103 Words of Affirmation Every Husband Wants to Hear. 

* For the companion printable, you can go here: 102 Words of Affirmation Every Wife Wants to Hear

In His grace,

 

 

Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

 

2 New eBooks: 100 Ways to Love Your Husband, 100 Ways to Love Your Wife

Our NEW eBooks are here!

What could I tell you about enjoying a lasting marriage? A happy and a loving one.

Now that we’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, slept together, raised children together, and have walked together for over two decades. Two people who’ve been loving each other for a long time. So women often ask me, they wonder how it’s done. What has worked and what has helped us through the hard times? What has brought us this far? And what will keep us loving each other in the years to come? Whether you’re newly married, have been together for decades, or still waiting to meet the one God has for you, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband offers practical steps on how you can enjoy a lasting, loving marriage too. Join us on the life-long journey of learning to love each other.

100 Ways to Love Your Husband

★★★★★ “100 Ways to Love this Book!” By Darlene Schacht

I absolutely LOVE Lisa’s writing style. I can’t help but feel like I’m enjoying a cup of coffee at her table, absorbing the warmth of her smile with each turn of the page. The love between these two authors (Lisa and her husband Matthew) is not only evident, it’s contagious! If you’re looking for his & her devotionals pick these up. Your marriage will thank you!

★★★★★ “Practical Advice and Encouragement” By Jenn

I enjoy reading Lisa’s blog, Club 31 Women, and found her book to be the same down-to earth, practical advice and encouragement. Each point is brief and to-the-point, and every so often there is a anecdote from her marriage to add a little extra. While I am not presently married, I am learning all I can in preparation to be a good wife…and this book is solid gold, going in the ‘keep’ collection on my kindle. Thank you, Lisa!!

100 Ways to Love Your Wife

★★★★★ “This World Needs More Men Like Matthew!”  By Darlene Schacht

I know this one’s not for the ladies, but after going through Lisa’s book (100 Ways to Love Your Husband) I had to read this one too! I love the relationship between Matthew and Lisa. His ability to bring this out in the way that he does is absolutely beautiful. This world needs more men like Matthew who not only cherish their wives, but encourage others to do so as well!

100 Ways To Love Your Wife is filled with practical ideas for pursuing love, kindness, friendship, and appreciation in the everyday lives of couples committed to enjoying the best a great marriage has to offer (although much of what’s here is apropos for those planning to be married, too!). What does it take to have a great marriage? It’s not all that complicated – just a whole lot of decisions that say, “I love you,” rather than those that say, “I love me.” This book provides suggestions that help demonstrate to your spouse that she is a cherished priority in your life. ~ Matthew L. Jacobson

We hope these books will bless and inspire your marriage too!

In His grace,

A NEW Book Release and Winter News

So I walked outside to check on the boys to make sure they didn’t get lost in all our snow out there.

And what do I find?

They’re off thrill-seeking by sledding down the shed roof. Seriously. I gasped in alarm….and then grabbed my camera and snapped some pictures.

Yes, winter seems to be having something of a heyday here in the Pacific Northwest this year. It’s beautiful alright, but oh! awfully cold for this warm sunshine girl.

Take a look at this amazing phenomenon, for instance.  Last week we woke up to hoar frost covering everything (Educational moment: Also called white frost - a deposit of needle-like ice crystals formed by direct condensation at temperatures below freezing point).

I felt like I’d walked through the wardrobe and into Narnia…..

Our grape arbor. Is that not wild, or what?

That would be our garden fence. So how does God do that??

And then me and the Wonder Dog, Jesse. Brrr!

My daughter took this when I bravely ventured out  in the snow (to see if the boys had broken any bones yet). I didn’t last long, however, and quickly returned to the house to my roaring fireplace and a cup of hot coffee. No sledding off the shed roof for me, thank you very much!

By the way, if you’re interested in viewing more pictures like these, you can also follow me on Instagram. I really enjoy sharing bits and pieces of our life and family over there!

Now on to some new winter news….

I’ve been asked by the two lovely ladies, Tracy and Chelle, over at ClutterInterrupted to be a guest on their Love Your Life show. I’ll be sharing some of those many practical ways we can love our kids. Doesn’t that sound like fun? I thought so too. It should be airing on Wednesday, February 12th. Stay tuned for this one!

And now for some really BIG NEWS that I’m excited to share with you! You know how I’ve mentioned that my husband and I have both been working on writing a book? Well, it’s finally here – they are both here. Two companion books – for him and for her.

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson

AND

100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

Both books will be available through Amazon soon! I’ll send a post in the next day or two with more details on the books and how you can get them. My husband I, along with many others, have been praying over this project and we hope that it encourages many, many marriages.

I especially hope it blesses you and yours!

In His grace,

 

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25 Special Ways to Spend Time With Your Child

He was a young man by then. Seventeen. Nearly grown and gone.

And at the time his mountain bike was a big part of his world. He had built it himself, piece by piece, and was anxious to take it over to the bike shop to get the necessary repairs.

Realizing this, I had put it on a long list of other errands I needed to run. That week was so busy that my head was spinning, so you can imagine the relief when my husband offered to go into town for me. Yes, please! And, I’ll love you forever.

But I saw our son’s face fall. Disappointment clear across his countenance. Not understanding, I reassured him that his dad would drop off the bike too and all would be well.

And then this came out of his mouth. Out of his heart. “But Mom, I was really looking forward to spending the time with you.”

Oh.

He doesn’t simply need a ride to the cycle shop. He’s not merely looking to have his bike repaired. He wants a relationship with me. His mom. Even at seventeen. A relationship that began from a very young age.

Surprising.

That a son – nearly grown and gone – would want to hang out with his mom. But that’s how our friendship began, by simply spending time together.

Now in case you haven’t experienced it yet? The years slip by faster than you think they will. The next thing you know that little boy – or little girl – is all grown up. Just like this. So don’t wait. Spend time together.

25 Special Ways to Spend Time With Your Child

1.    Fix a cup of tea

2.    Drive up to the lake

3.    Find a fun playground

4.    Play a board game

5.    Go for a drive

6.    Stroll along the river

7.    Share a bowl of popcorn

8.    Work on a craft together

9.    Ski down the mountain

10.  Go out for an ice-cream cone

11.  Watch an old – or new – movie

12.  Head over to the library

13.  Dip into some frozen yogurt

14.  Attend a music concert

15.   Head up for a hike

16.   Sip on a cup of hot chocolate

17.   Cheer together at a sports game

18.   Take a walk in the park

19.   Sneak out for some breakfast

20.   Go window shopping

21.   Plan a special trip somewhere

22.   Put together a picnic

23.   Bake something yummy in the kitchen

24.   Build a project – just the two of you

25.   Curl up in a quiet corner to talk and laugh

Take the time now. Before they are truly grown and gone. Because what do your children really want? They want a relationship with you.

*This list is a follow-up to the post: 10 Strong Reasons to Set Aside Time With Your Child

In His grace,

 

Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

 

10 Strong Reasons to Set Aside Time For Your Child

So I’m a big fan of dating.

This bit of information might surprise you. Maybe I don’t seem like the dating-type? But over the years I’ve become increasingly convinced that dating is the way to go.

Please hang in there with me while I explain.

The dating I’m talking about is setting aside a special time with each one of your children.  We call it a “date” around here. And each child – whatever their age – looks forward to this time together with great anticipation. It’s a really Big Deal.

I’m sharing this with you because if I had any “secrets” as to how I keep close to my children’s hearts? This would be one of them.  There are so many strong reasons for having a special time with your child that I’m convinced we should make it a high priority in our parenting.

10 Strong Reasons to Set Aside Time For Your Child

1.   You’re pursuing a relationship with them. Who doesn’t want to be wanted? Children are no different. It’s easy to fall into the habit of providing things for our children – toys, experiences, activities – and forget that what they really want is to be close to us.

2.   You’re communicating that they are important. That you so value their company that you’re willing to take the time and trouble to be with just them. This fact alone has a powerful influence on their lives.

3.   You are making it special. Isn’t it good to break out of the routine now and then? To step away from chores, school, and schedules and do something different. It’s wonderfully refreshing to both parent and child.

4.   You’re meeting a need. That he or she might not be able to express. You’re filling a hole in their hearts that they might be tempted to fill elsewhere. In ways that are unhelpful or unholy. You’re helping them to feel loved in a tangible way.

5.   You can keep it simple. This is the beauty of it – it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. We have a wide variety of date choices: a trip to the library, slipping away to a cafe, or even retreating to a quiet room for a cup of tea and sharing a chocolate bar. I’m always amazed at how little takes to delight their hearts.

6.   You get to hear what goes on in their heads.  I love to listen to what they think about and the way they think. Their thoughts might be deep, interesting, or simply amusing. And if  they’ve gone off-track somewhere? Here’s your chance to correct wrong-thinking.

7.   You can connect with their hearts. I not only care about what they’re thinking, I care about what they’re feeling too. What are they excited about? What are they worried about? Often they have things going on in their hearts of which I had been completely oblivious.

8.   You have the opportunity to talk about difficult things. Sometimes – only sometimes – I’ll use this time to say hard things to my children. Maybe an area that they need to work on, a new concept they need to consider, or touch on a tender topic.

9.   You can have fun together.  A couple of days ago our youngest curled up with me on top of our bed and we shared a box of Good-N-Plenty. It was sneaky-business, but we tried our best to be discreet. I’m not sure who laughed the most – him or me? – but we sure had a terrific time.

10.   You’re making wonderful memories. That they’ll take with them forever. These are special bonding times that can carry you both through the more challenging days. And these are the stories that they’ll share with their own children, and even grandchildren, some day.

I’d be hard-pressed to say what my favorite part about parenting would be, but I can tell you that these special times with my children rank fairly close to the top. I return from our time together feeling inspired and renewed. At other times challenged and convicted. I’d say our dates together fill my tank up almost as much it does theirs.

So now you can see why I’m such a big fan of dating. I love all that it means to them – and to me.

*Continued here:  25 Special Ways to Spend Time With Your Child

So how about you? What are some of your favorite “date” ideas? 

In His grace,

 

Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

 

Choosing the Virtue of Kindness (& Fantastic Giveaway)

Our special guest today is Darlene Schacht, well-known as The Time-Warp Wife and a New-York Times Best-Selling author. I’m also grateful to call her my good friend. 

After 25 years I’ve gotten used to Michael’s body language.

I can tell when this man is in a great mood, and I can also tell when something heavy is on his mind. I know when he’s happy, and I know when he’s mad. He doesn’t have to say a word for me to read him. In fact he doesn’t even have to turn and face me. I sense the mood.

It was everything, from the way he carried his body, to the swiftness of each step that moved me to ask him, “Is something wrong, Michael?”

“You even have to ask?!” he snapped back at me. “After the way you spoke to me earlier, you shouldn’t be surprised at all that I’m angry.”

I sat there for a minute thinking about a conversation we had just an hour before. It wasn’t that I was rude–at least I didn’t think so. I had simply expressed the fact that I was disappointed.

We had just come back from a gathering during which time we barely spoke two words to each other. Pulled in two different directions he spent time with the guys and I with the girls. I understand this will happen. And I certainly don’t expect Michael to walk a three-legged-race with me, but barely two words? When I go out with my husband, I want to spend some time with him.

Here’s the thing. We’re two different people who communicate in two different ways. And I will admit that my “expression” can be a little negative at times. It’s one thing to communicate, and it’s another to nag which is something I’m still working on.

“Mom,” Madison looked over at me, “Aren’t you going to go say something to him?”

In other words, my daughter was pointing out the fact that it was time for me to put on a cloak of kindness. Smart girl.

Kindness is a virtue. It doesn’t come easy to us unless we exercise that area of our life. It’s more than simply a desire to do good to others, it’s the behavior itself.

Kindness doesn’t sit around analyzing a situation to determine whether this person is right or that person is wrong. Kindness is a charitable gift–it reaches out to those in need.

Whether it’s easy or not, we are commanded in scripture to put on kindness. We’re commanded to be compassionate people because that’s Who our Savior is.

It’s all about looking up. Looking to Christ for our example and looking to Him for our reward.

Initiation is the core of kindness. Jesus reached out to this world while we were in darkness and sin. He didn’t sit around waiting for mankind to be perfect–He made the first move.

As difficult as it might be at times, we have the ability to choose our attitude at any time for the good. When someone gets under our skin, we can be impatient and vindictive or we can exercise the virtue of kindness.

It’s especially important to remember this when we don’t feel like it because that’s when it becomes sacrifice.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. – Colossians 3:12, ESV

There have been times when I sense that I’m a little angry or grumpy, and even though I know that I can let go of it and smile, I choose to hang on to it.

Praise God for His grace as He gently leads this work in progress…

Just so you know, I did put on a cloak of kindness, and I did go down to the man cave to see Michael. And one kiss on the forehead had him asking, “So what do you want to do today, honey?”

An excerpt from The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife

Darlene Schacht – The Time-Warp Wife Darlene’s an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of her life. She started Time-Warp Wife in 2010 out of a place of grace, with a passion to encourage women in their marriages. She and her husband Michael live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, they have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone’s babies, especially hers! Their lives are basically surrounded with three things: faith, music and everything books. She’s an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God. Check out her newest book: The Virtuous Wife of a Christ-Centered Life. Join the community of over 160,000 women on facebook. Send Darlene a tweet or two, and check out her boards on Pinterest.

Enter to Win a Copy of The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife

I’m so excited to be able to offer 10 copies of Darlene Schacht’s new eBook, The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife: 18 Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth! Be sure to enter below for a chance to win 1 of 10 eBook copies of this encouraging and challenging book. You can read more of my review here: Powerful Lessons for the Christian Wife.

This contest is now closed. A big thank you to all who entered and congratulations to all our winners!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

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Why This Pain of Letting My Children Grow Up?

Guest post by Christy Fitzwater

The first time I experienced it was in a Wal-Mart.

My husband and I had chosen the be-surprised route for our first baby, and I had been convinced I was having a boy. When mom and I stood in the infant girl clothing section and looked at all the lace and frills, I had myself a little weep of joy. I had a little girl.

We were in Wal-Mart only two days after the birth of my daughter, so I wore out quickly from shopping. Mom sent me to rest on a bench while she paid for everything. (Thanks, mom.) As I sat there, a mom and her preschool-age daughter passed by.

A knife stabbed my mother’s heart.

Dear Jesus, please don’t ever let my sweet infant grow to be that old.

Of course, I wanted my baby to grow and be strong and healthy, but I didn’t want her to grow.

Didn’t want her to ever change from Johnson-and-Johnson fresh to anything else.

Now my little girl is sporting an engagement ring, and I said the words, you know which ones I mean, to a mom with little girls. It goes so fast. She looked at me with horror and tucked her girls behind her legs. I could see it in her eyes, Dear Jesus, please don’t let my girls ever be old enough to be engaged.

Why this pain?

I was shoveling the driveway yesterday and talking to God about this. Why does it hurt, Lord, to let our little ones grow and change and leave our cozy homes?

I think the answer lies in the word JOY.

A baby swaddled and tucked into the crook of an arm brings joy. A 2-year-old trying to sing the Star Spangled Banner brings joy. A 5-year-old wiggling a first loose tooth brings joy. A 10-year-old scoring a soccer goal brings joy. A lanky teenager playing bass guitar on the worship team brings joy.

I wonder, and I say this gently because the mother pain is profound, if there isn’t a bit of idolatry in our well-meaning hearts?

Timothy Keller says idols always disappoint.

Did we think that child of ours would be forever the happiness we were looking for?

So I ask, if we have set our children as the center of our joy and our children change and leave, does our joy go with them? I say this as a mother who is less than two years from having an empty nest, because I must answer this question.

Are the children the source of my joy?

If yes, then all their changing and leaving home can only mean that very soon I am going to be a depressed and lonely woman.

But if my joy is centered in Christ and the children are a joy but not the source of it, then when they have done all their changing and growing and leaving I will still have something rich bringing light to my soul.

Here is what I have decided to do.

When I feel the shard of mother pain going through my heart, I am going to let it be a reminder that my soul needs joy.

I need a joy that does not change and grow and leave.

And that is something only Christ offers.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Philippians 4:4)

Enjoy your children, oh my soul. Enjoy every sweet moment with them as a gift from God, but do not find your deepest joy in them. Reserve that place in the heart only for your Savior.

Christy Fitzwater is a pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She is the mother of a son in high school and a daughter in college. She enjoys when the days get shorter and the weather nasty so she doesn’t feel guilty about not going outside. Days where she can just read books and write words all day. She can even tell you the plots of 15 missionary biographies without batting an eye. You can read her personal blog at ChristyFitzwater. Also find her at Pinterest and Twitter.

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