Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 63

Those Funny Ways You Can Seriously Help Your Marriage

He says he doesn’t understand why we need to have 100 pillows on our bed.

But, just for the record, there really aren’t 100 – only 10.

I know because I counted them.

I also know this because I often find them flying at me while I’m trying to crawl into bed at night. Seriously. The guy will lie in wait until I’m finally ready to turn in….

Then that’s when the pillows come soaring through the air.

It’s like one of those games at the fair. I dodge the blitz the best I can, but the fact is he’s got a pretty good arm.

An awfully good arm, actually.

And no matter what the day has been like, I can’t seem to help myself and I’ll start shrieking.  Our kids say they can hear me from across the house. That they can always tell when there’s a party going on. And that they’ll forever have memories of mama laughing while everyone else is heading for bed.

I’ve tried to convince them to feel sorry for me and imagine what it’s like to be dodging pillows while you’re desperately searching for those cozy covers at the end of a long, hard day. But they inevitably take his side and find it all rather amusing too.

But you - you feel sorry for me don’t you?

Good! Because now I’ll tell you some of the ways I get my revenge. I’ll crawl in next to him and put my icy little feet up against his warm back (hah!). Or the next morning I’ll sneak in while he’s taking a hot shower and suddenly turn the water to cold (how did he know it was me??). Or drop down a Screaming Monkey from the balcony when he’s reading in his favorite armchair.

Oh yes, I have my ways.

So what does all this have to do with marriage?

Nothing.

And everything.

Would you believe those pillows have helped us to have a better marriage? I really think they have.

You see, my husband I both lead very busy lives. And we feel the pressures bearing down on us. Work, home, family, finances, ministry and more. And we can get waaaay too bogged down in it all. We can even forget that we like each other. That there’s supposed to be a little fun in all this.

So he starts a pillow-fight. And then I laugh at his goofy jokes (although I’m known to laugh at my own too). Because let’s face it….

Every good marriage could use a good laugh now and then.

So now, in all seriousness, let me encourage you to have some fun together….

Take a break occasionally. Forget your troubles, at least momentarily, and enjoy one another. Don’t wait until all your problems are solved because that might not come for a long time.

Purpose to lighten up. Sometimes he and I go out somewhere and we forbid certain topics to come up. We pledge to put those aside those heavies and simply have a good time together.

Remember to laugh. I guess I could have taken offense the first time that pillow came hurling through the air. Instead of giggling like a girl. But I’m glad I did. It’s more fun this way.

Consider the savings. Honestly? Laughter is way cheaper than therapy. I figure those pillow-fights have saved us hours of counseling. (Not sure about the Screaming Monkey though – that one might have added an hour or two).

I don’t know how many pillows you happen to have decorating your bed right now, but it might be time to invest in a few more. Might need 10 or 100. Then see about getting a really good pillow-fight going.

Hope you enjoy some fun!

In His grace,

Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

* If you want these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, 31 Days to a Better Marriage).

{Photo credit: The picture above is of my charming nephew and his lovely wife taken by Brenda Jacobson Photography}

This Is Why You’re An Amazing Mom

A very encouraging guest post by Christy Fitzwater….

We were sitting at the kitchen table together.

And she said to me, Mom, I’m doing this premarital counseling exercise, and we have to list places where we think our parents failed or did poorly. I can’t think of anything. I’ve tried, and I just can’t think of anything.

She said that.

I was shocked.

I said, What about…

The time I screamed at you and your brother because you were fighting in the bathroom. SCREAMED at you.

The time I was having fun with a friend and forgot to pick you up from first grade. There you were, 40 minutes later, coloring a picture at a table. I knew you’d come, the teacher said.

The times I said, No, not right now, because I was enjoying a good book.

The time I planned a bowling and pizza party, to help you make friends, and they all turned out to be as shy as you were and nobody but me said anything for two hours.

The time I got your attention across the parking lot in middle school by hollering out your nickname.

The time I laughed at you when you were learning to drive, and you got out of the car without turning it off.

The 567 times I stood in the kitchen at 5:30 and said, Um, I don’t know what we’re going to have for dinner.

The time I childishly gave you the silent treatment for an entire evening because you made me mad.

The time I sent you back to college with a sack full of wet laundry because I forgot to put it in the dryer.

You and dad have been amazing parents, she said.

I’m 45, and this firstborn girl of mine gets married in a few months. Why am I just now seeing that my daughter wasn’t keeping track of all those failed attempts at parenting. She was tallying the love.

She was remembering that I went to every game, recital, concert, and awards ceremony.

She was remembering that her dad and I have always enjoyed our marriage.

She was remembering that every time I got a new shirt I always said, You can borrow it if you want!

She was remembering that in our house we laugh a lot and hug a lot and say, I love you several times in a day. Because Jesus is in our home, and we gave her the gospel and all the goodness and grace that come with it.

All these years, and I never knew I didn’t have to feel like a horrible mom every time I messed up. I was never a horrible mom, just not a perfect one.

So to you, my sister in law with one boy in kindergarten and twin boys in potty training, and to you, my sister-in-law with two in school uniforms and one in diapers: Assess yourself through the eyes of your child who someday is only going to remember the chocolate chip cookies you brought to her room after a hard day of school and who is only going to remember that every single night you sang him, “You Are My Sunshine.”

You are not a horrible mom, even if you drop an entire bowl of mashed potatoes upside down on the floor, as you’re carrying it to the dinner table.

They forgive us so much, these precious children.

Hug ‘em. Kiss ‘em. That’s success.

Christy Fitzwater is a pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She is the mother of a son in high school and a daughter in college. She enjoys when the days get shorter and the weather nasty so she doesn’t feel guilty about not going outside. Days where she can just read books and write words all day. She can even tell you the plots of 15 missionary biographies without batting an eye. You can read her personal blog at ChristyFitzwater. Also find her at Pinterest and Twitter.

*Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

Please join me for the NEW series: Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids. If you’d like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, 31 Days to a Better Marriage).

Raising Kids Who Genuinely Love Jesus

I held my breath when the call came in.

I had no doubt that what was going to be communicated would come as a harsh blow and that his world would come crashing in. It was all I could do not to  hang up on the caller and spare our son the deep pain this conversation would inevitably bring.

But instead I handed him the phone and watched his face fall.

Devastation.

When all was said and done, he hung up and – without saying a word and without looking back – walked out of the room.

Oh, dear God, I cried out. Help that young man.

A mother’s heart-felt plea.

Then watched him climb the stairs and shut the door. Followed by a strange silence.

How was he going to handle this? Where would he turn? What would he choose?

He was no longer a child and I couldn’t choose for him.

Standing outside his closed door, I pressed my forehead against the solid wall. Praying. Silently weeping. Waiting.

An hour or more passed before I finally heard his voice on the other side of that wall.

It took me a minute or two before I realized what I was hearing.

He was singing praise songs to Jesus. One after the other. Song after song. I didn’t even realize he knew quite so many songs. His voice was raspy and so I suspected he was emotional. Maybe even cried. But he  was definitely singing his heart out.

In the midst of great personal pain, he was praising Jesus.

That moment in his 17-year history was not our son’s first test and by no means would it be his last. Yet for some reason it’s the most memorable in my mind. A significant time in a mother’s life when she is left to agonize: which way will he choose?

How do you bring up children who genuinely love Jesus?

Our children are people, not projects. We just can’t turn our kids into a Jesus-project. Above all, they need to see and feel that they are deeply loved and that you truly love Jesus yourself. Children are little people with tender souls, so tend them gently.

Our genuine love for Jesus has a powerful impact. Children are incredibly perceptive and so as parents we need to be the “real deal”. Not perfect (kids care way less about this than we think), merely authentic.

The church cannot replace us as parents. We can’t leave it up to the youth leader, the youth program, the Sunday School teachers, or even your awesome pastor to lead our children to Christ. God made you the parent of your children and they need YOU to teach and disciple them.

And a parent cannot replace the Holy Spirit. It’s true. We have much to offer as the parent as we guide and direct our children, but only the Spirit of God can transform their hearts. So let’s not do this in our own power, but rely on Him to do the real work.

Rejoice in the victories. This is very important. If your child does something kind, something honest, or something obedient – then rejoice! Maybe they have some areas (even lots of areas!) that they still need to grow in, but don’t let those be your main focus. Instead, celebrate each little step of victory!

Discipleship is an ongoing process. Rather than looking for immediate results, patiently sow the seeds and pull the weeds. What it might look like today in your home doesn’t determine how it will always be. Take heart, my friend, for you are doing something wonderful for your children with your loving persistence.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. (Gal. 6:9)

And please know that I’m walking in a similar row right next to you. It’s by no means “over” here in our home. We have no illusions about that. We are still growing, still learning, and still have choices to make every day on Who we are going to choose.

But my prayer is that our children – yours and mine – will keep turning their hearts to Jesus.

Coming next: Raising Kids Who Might Fall…But Will Get Back Up Again

In His grace,

 

*Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

This is Part Two of the series: Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids. If you’d like the posts from this series delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, 31 Days to a Better Marriage).

10 Sane Steps for When He Makes You Crazy

Just like you and daddy.

That’s the kind of marriage she said she’d always wanted. She wanted to love, to laugh, and to hold on the way he and I did. She was only a little girl.

Now here she stands a young woman. And suddenly it feels more urgent to pack in everything I’ve ever wanted her to know.

But I found myself a bit hesitant to say what was on my heart on this particular day. She pressed me, “What, Mama? What is it?”

I answered slowly and carefully. “I think you should know that some day, at some point, your dream man is going to say or do something that’s going to make you mad. M-A-D. Mad.”

She looked up at me without understanding.

And I continued.

“Well, I know it’s hard to imagine right now, but you should be ready for the eventuality that he WILL infuriate you. As in, make you a little crazy. And when that happens, I want you to remember our conversation today.

Because if you’re not prepared? It might throw you off. Knock you off your feet. Make you wonder if you’re really meant for each other.”

I felt her lean into me. For a brief moment she was my little girl again, but only for a moment. Then this lovely young woman beside me asked, “But what…what if we were really, reallydetermined to love each other. Like you and dad. Then he wouldn’t make me crazy-mad would he?”

Maybe not.

Maybe she’ll be different than me. Different than you.

But I kinda doubt it.

So rather than wistfully hoping we’ll never get upset with him, why not prepare ourselves for what to do “if” that happens? You know, in case he ever hurts your feelings. Forgets your birthday. Picks up annoying habits. Leaves his laundry on the floor – for the hundredth time. Says the wrong thing. Or something strange like that.

What then…?

10 Sane Steps For When He Makes You Crazy

1.  Wait until you cool down. Before saying or doing anything. A really good first step.

2.  Pray about it. Yes, I really mean that. Prayer can settle your soul and clarify your thinking. Pray for him and pray for yourself.

3.  Determine whether it’s worth “fighting” for. It might simply be an offense you can overlook. Or maybe not.

If not….

4.  Clearly identify the issue. Maybe it was only a “small” thing, but it’s significant to you for your own reasons. Be ready to explain those reasons the best you can.

5.  Approach him in love. This means not coming after him with eyes blazing (see #1).

6.  Be prepared to listen. He might – just might – have his own side to the story. Hear him out too.

7.  Give him time. He could need to think about it (and keep praying while he’s thinkin’!).

8.  Be ready to forgive. Not necessarily because he deserves it. Or that it’s easy. But because you’ve been forgiven much too.

9.  Let it go. Don’t hold on and let bitterness take root. And don’t throw it in his face the next time it happens (Did I say “next time”…?).

10. Choose to love him. All over again. And then again.

Hopefully you’re not like me. You’re even-keeled and nothing ever bugs you or hurts your feelings. You never get mad or frustrated with him. It’s smooth-sailing for you and I’m so glad that it is. Truly.

But for those of you – like my daughter – who struggle with much the same things as me? You  might want to consider taking these Ten Steps.

Because if you’re gonna go crazy, I say you might as well be crazy for him.

In His grace,

Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

* If you want these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, 31 Days to a Better Marriage).

Raising Kids Who Know They Are Deeply Loved

 The perfect parenting approach.

That’s what I’d been searching for. I was determined to learn the best way to parent our kids so they might turn out okay. No, more than okay—that they might grow up to genuinely love Jesus.  Because I can’t help hoping that they’ll walk with God long after they’ve left our home. Like you, I’ve struggled and agonized over this very real concern.

I don’t want to leave them up to chance.

I don’t want to leave them up to their friends.

And I definitely don’t want to leave them up to this world.

So what is the best way to parent your kids so that they grow up strong and firmly grounded in their faith?

The Very Best Way to Parent

If I were to pick just one thing? The most important element of all? Surprisingly, it’s not going to be based on your background, your rules or lack of rules, your Christian activities, or even your church.

The best way for kids to grow up loving God is for them to grow up knowing they are loved by you. Deeply loved. Just the way they are.

Knowing they are loved will help carry your children through so many of the hard things they’ll encounter through their growing up years: hurts, trials, temptations, and knock-downs. These things will come. I wish they wouldn’t and we’ve dodged as many as we could, but there’s simply no way to avoid them altogether.

But if you have a loving relationship with your children? Then you can walk through those challenging times together. You don’t want them to walk it alone. With your arm around them, you can gently point them back to the love of God and to the Word of Truth.

The Difference Between Loving and Feeling Loved

Now I can hear you protesting, But obviously I love my kids. I’m their mother, after all! And, of course, you do.

But its much more than only loving our kids, they need to know - to feel right down to their toes – that they are loved by you.

I emphasize the difference because, quite honestly, it makes all the difference in the world. I’ve met far too many adults who will admit that, although they believe their parents loved them, they didn’t actually feel loved. In fact, for the most part they grew up feeling alone, misunderstood, and even rejected. You might have met  some of these same adults too.

You might even be that adult. This might be your story. But don’t let it be the story for your children.

If you have one goal for your children? Let it be that they know, above all things, that they are deeply loved by you.

But isn’t it important for them to know they are loved by God?

Yes. Absolutely. And that will come out later in the series, but as for a starting place? Start with showering them with your love. Then the love of God will be so evident, it will hardly even need explaining.

How do you convince kids of your love for them?

Spend time with them. There are no substitutes. Not stuff. Not activities. Not sacrifice. Nothing replaces the necessary investment of your undivided, undistracted time. (25 Special Ways to Spend Time With Your Child )

Decide you like them. Not only love them. Your children want to sense that you enjoy them – with all their quirky ways, their mistakes, and their messes. You simply like them for who they are and how God made them.

Affirm them with words. Make it a daily habit to say something that communicates your love for them and builds them up. (Here are 101 Words of Affirmation Every Child Wants to Hear)

Listen to them. Sometimes you can say way more by not saying anything at all. By listening to your child, you’re communicating that you’re interested in their thoughts, fears, struggles, and ideas. Keep quiet and let them open up their hearts to you. (By Listening: How a Mom Can Show Love)

Care about their hearts. Even more than their behavior. While we desire for our children do the right things, it’s less about getting them to “act” a certain way than it is about encouraging them to have a heart for the right things.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:11

So what would I say now after all my searching? All my studying? All my agonizing?

Love: it’s the perfect parenting approach.

Coming next: Raising Kids Who Genuinely Love Jesus

In His grace,

 

*Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

This is Part One of the series: Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids. If you’d like the posts from this series delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, 31 Days to a Better Marriage).

Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids

I wanted to this thing right. More than anything.

We all do, don’t we? I mean, who wants to do parenting wrong?

Okay, but I really, really wanted to do it right. So I did what I always do when I’m determined to get good at something: I bought and borrowed every book I could find on the subject. My shelves are overflowing with books on Christian parenting and it’s actually a bit embarrassing. Rows and rows of them. I’ve studied and experimented a ton (our poor children) in my search for the perfect parenting technique.

You see, I needed answers. Desperately. I was so afraid of messing this up. Messing them up.

Now here I am 20 years later (yikes!) and am starting to look back just a little. So what has “worked” and what hasn’t? What would I say now that we have kids grown and gone—and others who’re still growing up in our home?

What does it take to bring up children who genuinely love Jesus?

While I no longer think in terms of “answers” and have given up on formulas, I do hope to pass on some of what we’ve learned along the way—less from those shelves loaded with books, and more from our own experience and from the Word of God.

And I will share with you as a friend. Not as the expert, not the finished, and not the blameless. I’m going to be as open about our failures as I am about our victories.  I’m also going to offer you grace and I hope you’ll give me grace in return.

Because I believe we all want the same things. We want our children to know God, to walk with Him, and to enjoy a free heart serving Him with their gifts and abilities.

We want heavenly-minded, down-to-earth kids.

Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids

So what goes into bringing up children who have their hearts set on heaven and their feet planted firmly on solid ground? Here are some of the topics we’ll be touching on over the following 8 weeks:

Raising Kids who know they are deeply loved.
Raising Kids who genuinely love Jesus.
Raising Kids who might fall…but will get back up again.
Raising Kids who set their hearts on heaven.
Raising Kids who treasure the Word of God.
Raising Kids who lovingly get along with each other.
Raising Kids who walk in the power of purity.
Raising Kids who readily pray about many things.
Raising Kids who thoughtfully care for others.

Now please understand, this series is NOT about becoming the perfect family.  This is not about keeping up appearances or even model behavior. Because, I don’t know about yours, but our family is still a work in progress. We’re learning, struggling, and growing.

But, by God’s grace – quite literally! –  we do love Jesus.

Getting to Know You

For those of you who might be new here, I’d love to meet you. Here I’ll go first.

Hello, I’m Lisa. My husband, Matthew, and I are the parents of 8 children. Our oldest son is 20 and a sophomore in college back East. Then we have 4 daughters, ages 18, 17, 15, and 13. After that we have 3 little boys, ages 11, 9, and 7. You can learn more about them here: Our Family. Our oldest daughter has a blog where she shares her heart with young people too: Savorythots.

And for those of you who are wondering? Our older children read most every post – including our son in college –  and give their honest input. They’re  great for “keeping it real” and I’m grateful for their perspective.  Here they are  below (except our oldest son)….

*Now it’s your turn….Share a little about yourself? Ages of your kids? Boys or girls? Maybe you’re single, or don’t have children yet? Please, go ahead and introduce yourself!

Coming next: Raising Kids Who Know They Are Deeply Loved

In His grace,

 

Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

* If you want the posts from this series delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, 31 Days to a Better Marriage).

A Brand New Series Starting Soon

Okay, so I realize that Spring is not here yet, but I’m already developing a bad case of spring fever—even as I look out at the frozen fog covering the ground. The sad fact is that Spring comes late in the Pacific Northwest and so we’ve got a month or two to go before it warms up and  brightens up our little corner of the world.

New Parenting Series

So to cheer us up, I thought we could begin a new series on parenting. What d’ya think?

Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids

a no-formula series for bringing up genuine, Jesus-loving children

We’ll  be covering topics such as:

Raising Kids who treasure the Word of God
Raising Kids who walk in the power of purity
Raising Kids who genuinely love one another
Raising Kids who deeply care about others

Plus a few more along these lines. I hope you’ll be very encouraged by this series! (And will you let  me know if there’s a topic that you’d like to add as well?)

For those of you who want to continue on the topic of marriage, I’ll be sharing more on that subject too. Coming up soon: 10 Sane Steps for When He Makes You Crazy and How Pillowfights and Playfulness Can Help Your Marriage.

100 Ways to Love books

Speaking of books, I want to thank you for your nearly overwhelming response to our newly released books, 100 Ways to Love. I don’t know what I was expecting, but nothing like this! Much to our surprise, they continue to rank in the top 15 books in the “Marriage” category of Amazon.  They’re right next to some other wonderful books and a few, ahem, interesting neighbors as well—-whose names I wouldn’t repeat in mixed company

And for those of you who’ve been asking, we’re hoping to have both these books in print sometime before the end of March. We’ll be sure and announce it when they’re ready!

A New FREE eBook Coming Out

Something else new? My husband Matthew and I are nearly done putting together this small eBook, The 7 Habits to a Highly-Fulfilling Marriage, based on our recent blog series. It will be free to all our subscribers and that, of course, means you! Watch for it over the next couple of weeks. It should be arriving directly in your in-box!

 

 

Book Resource Page

 

I don’t know if you noticed it or not? But I have a new page on the blog which lists some of the books Matthew and I have written together, in addition to the 100 Ways to Love books. We’ve written several children’s books over the years – including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children’s Literature – which might interest you as well.

 

A Blog for the Young People

There’s all the Christian advice and tips: Who you should look for, who you should avoid at all costs, the way to do it, the way not to do it.

So how do you sort the overloads of information being shoved in from every direction. How do you know God wants this relationship? How do you know if you’re doing the right thing? Should you wait? Should you go for it?

How do you stay pure in this tar-feathered place?

And really, at the end of the day…it comes down to your best friend.

And by that I mean Jesus. Because in a world of chaos, He’s the only thing that makes sense. ~ Savorythots

Our oldest daughter has recently begun a blog for the young people. The quote above is from her article on Relationships, but she writes about many other subjects that touch the hearts and minds of the younger generation and the questions – and struggles – that they go through. You can find her sharing her heart here: Savorythots.

I Need You

I’ll close with this “secret” message that was passed to me by our youngest son yesterday. I smiled when I saw it, of course, although the “e” part stumped me somewhat. Then he explained that it meant, “MOMMY, I need you.” Such a sweet reminder. 

You are needed, my friend.

In His grace,

What Happens When He Turns into Your Perfect DIY Project?

He could see it in my eyes.

The Look.

And I bet you know the look I’m talking about. It’s the gleam a woman gets in her eyes when she’s itchin’ to dive into a project.

Right. The I’m-Working-On-a-New-Project Look.

So I’d been staring at that ugly front room for several weeks and finally realized what had to be done.  This one would require a major overhaul. Believe me, it was just begging for fresh paint, lush carpet, and a trip to the second-hand store for new (well, nearly-new) furniture.

Yes, I had a vision. An inspiration. There was no stopping me now.

My husband had seen that look before and was all too aware of what it meant. He knew I wouldn’t rest until my plan was complete. He might as well go ahead and get his paintbrush out because there was no doubt where we were heading….

Brace yourself, Honey, ’cause it’s DIY time.

He shook his head helplessly – although he doesn’t really mind as much as he pretends. He understands that I have this nearly overwhelming impulse to improve. To revamp. To fix up. Transform.

And who could deny that this room needed transforming? Or that I was the woman to do it? It was going to look oh-so-much lovelier when I was finished with it.

It’s actually a wonderful quality we women have – this desire to make the home a better place. We’re full of home-improvement plans and that’s something to be admired. A skill and a strength.

With this one exception.

When I turn to my husband and make him my next Project. When I get determined – not merely to make our home a better place – but to make HIM a better man.

That’s when I get into trouble.

Oh, my intentions might be good. Clearly, he could use some improving. He could be softer, for instance. More sensitive. And more spiritual. I’m telling you, I could help this guy a bunch.

No doubt – my husband could be a better man. And I’m just the woman to do it.

Or so I start to think.

But the Lord has appointed me to be the Wife of this man – not his Project Manager. I have to remember this particular role is reserved for the Holy Spirit and that He is far more effective than I’ll ever be. He has His own plans for my husband and, thankfully, He is the ultimate Expert.

So you want to be involved in the plans? Here’s how you can….

Step-by-Step Instructions for a New-and-Improved Husband

1.    Work on His Wife. This is definitely the best place to start. It’s so easy to look at that guy and see how he needs to change. But, surely, there’s something you could be working on too? Ask The Lord – or even your husband (if you’re brave) – to show where you could improve as well.

2.   Don’t Tear Him Down. This technique is only effective with old wallpaper – never with your man. No matter how frustrated you are with him, resist bringing him down. This could damage, or even ruin, your Project. Avoid at all costs.

3.   Do Build Him Up. Oh yes. You’ll make way more progress by encouraging and cheering him on. For some ideas on what to say to him? 103 Words of Affirmation Every Husband Wants to Hear.

4.   Don’t Stare at the Ugly Spots. Honestly? This is where I think we get the most hung up. It’s when we focus on his faults and flaws that we get to thinking he needs our personalized husband-improvement-plan. Try looking at his bright side instead.

5.   Trust the Spirit to Transform Him. He is the only One who makes all things new. So maybe your guy is not a Model Husband? Well, thankfully, we have a perfect God who is able to do the work required. Leave your Project-Man in His capable, skilled hands.

So instead of working on my husband, I think I’ll content myself with working right alongside him. To grow with him. To complete him.  To love on him.

And I’m definitely the woman for that job.

In His grace,



Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

 

FREE Printable: 102 Words of Affirmation Every Wife Wants to Hear

“If Lisa is any indication, women often have the feeling that life is coming at them with the speed of a fighter jet and the chaos of a riot. Add to this the voices everywhere around them saying in subtle and not so subtle ways that the job they’re doing isn’t quite up to the mark. Wives often have the nagging feeling that they just don’t measure up.

Let’s drown out those voices with the applause of affirmation – words of beauty, truth, and love that every wife wants to hear, but also needs to hear often.” ~ Matthew L Jacobson

So as a companion to the printable I shared last week, 103 Words of Affirmation Every Husband Wants to Hear, here are 102 Words of Affirmation Every Wife Wants to Hear:

Click to download: 102 Words of Affirmation Every Wife Wants To Hear 

Words of beauty, truth, and love for you….

In His grace,

 

*To see the entire list written out, you can read the original post here: 102 Words of Affirmation Every Wife Wants to Hear

Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson

 

Practical Tips and Ideas on Loving Your Kids

“How do you intentionally love your kids?”

“What have been the biggest challenges you’ve faced in the parenting process? What has helped you through them and what have you learned?”

Maybe these are questions you’ve been wanting to ask as well. I can’t tell you how often I’ve wished there was a way for us to sit down together and talk about such things, but I haven’t figured out how. Too bad! I’d really enjoy that.

But since we can’t quite pull it off, how about pouring yourself a cup of tea and tuning into the radio program on ClutterInterrupted where Tracy and Chelle asked these same questions and a few more too (it was good fun talking with these two wonderful ladies!). Simply click this link to listen to the recent interview: Love Your Kids with Lisa Jacobson

Most children would probably say they know their parents love them but may not be able to say they feel loved by them. Are you communicating your love to your kids in a way that makes them feel loved?

Here’s one simple thing you can do TODAY:  Look your child in the eyes and with a smile, say “I think you’re special and I really like the way God made you!” ~ Lisa from  16 Ways to Make Your Child Feel Loved.

AND

What are some of the most important things we need to teach our sons and daughters? You can listen to the radio program and/or read more over here:  5 Meaningful Things to Teach Your Sons and Daughters.

To listen to the full interview: Practical Tips and Ideas on Loving Your Kids With Lisa Jacobson

I’m looking forward to “talking with you” – at least until we get that chance to really sit down for a cup of tea together! Until then…

In His grace,

 

P.S. If you’d like to “carry on the conversation” with any follow-up questions? I’d love to hear from you too!

P.S.S. And if Jody is reading this, I wanted to say blessings on your five boys and congratulations on this next little one you’re expecting!

Check out our NEW eBooks, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

and 100 Ways to Love to Your Wife by Matthew L. Jacobson