Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 54

An Uncommon Love: How We Met and Decided to Marry In 6 Days

His suggestion came as quite a surprise.

But I didn’t really know what to expect.

We were back east visiting our son who was attending a college there.

It was his first year and our first visit.

Our first son.

A number of firsts.

I’m not saying I was nervous – just that I didn’t know what it would be like.  Wasn’t sure what he would think of us now  . . . or what his friends would make of us.  Wasn’t sure how it would all go.

He’d already been at the college for a couple of months, but for me it felt as though the first day of school.

So that’s why his proposed idea came as something of a surprise.

How about if you and dad tell how the two of you met? You know, shared your love story with my friends?

Our son went on to explain that he’d sent out an email to a bunch of his friends around campus inviting them to join us at the lunch table in the cafeteria.

He was gathering his group together because he hoped his parents would tell how they first met.

“Really…? Do you really think they’ll want to hear it?”

Oh, yeah, Mom.  Everyone loves a good love story. 

And I suppose they do.

But I never imagined sharing ours with our college-aged son and his buddies.

That was a surprise.

*Our son (far right) and some of his friends from college

An Uncommon Love: How We Met and Decided to Marry in Six Days

Matthew and I have shared our story many times over the years. 

Late into the evening with old friends. Over a cup of coffee with new friends.  At a Valentine’s Banquet. With singles who needed encouragement. With couples who could use a good laugh. And with our son’s college friends across the country.

We always tell our story together—him and me.

I think it’s mostly because he doesn’t really tell it right. He gets people to take his side in the story, but that’s just not fair. So I have to get my word in there too (and I’m already counting on you to take my part in this, okay?). I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression!

Maybe it’s not all that unusual of a story.

Single girl meets single guy.

Starts with a letter.

Ends with a kiss.

Just another love story.

Except maybe for the part where we decided to marry six days after we met.

And that we’ve been loving each other ever since.

Maybe that’s not quite so typical.

Uncommon. 

NEW Series beginning next week: An Uncommon Love

An Uncommon Love.

Yeah, that’s what he called it. And I always liked the way that sounded.  So that’s what I’ve called it too.

And that’s the story we’re going to be sharing over the next few weeks.  Him and me.

About how we knew we wanted to get married only six days after our first date.

And how before that, I declared that I wouldn’t go out with him “If he was the last man on earth”. Yet somehow ended up in his arms in the end.

It’s a  story about an ordinary guy and an ordinary girl.  A story about falling in love.

About insecurities, miscommunications, self-doubts, wonder and a kiss.

Two people looking for love and waiting on God.

In true life.

An Uncommon Love: A True-Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa Jacobson.

Starting next week, we’ll both be telling our story. But he said I could go first . . .

Chapter One: If He Was the Last Man On Earth

Doesn’t sound like it has a very promising beginning, does it? Don’t worry. It gets better.

I’ll tell you all about it . . . beginning next Wednesday!

*Please share this with any friends or family who might enjoy this story too!

**And now for fun –  how did you and your husband meet? Where were you when you first saw each other? Do tell….!

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post An Uncommon Love: How We Met and Decided to Marry In 6 Days appeared first on Club 31 Women.

How to Make Tough Decisions When Parenting Kids in this World

My kids were very little when I came across an old friend.

We sat together, and she told me that she had just come to know Christ.

Then she shared with me what I did not know about her past. As she was growing up, some people in her life worshiped Satan and abused her in this practice. Specifically she told me Halloween was a horrific time for her.

Looking me in the eyes she said, How can Christians let their kids celebrate Halloween?

From that moment I decided that – if nothing else than for the sake of this friend who had just come to know Christ – my children would not celebrate Halloween in any way.

This decision met little resistance from my daughter.

My son was another matter.

He wanted to be a part of the school party.

He wanted to wear a costume.

He wanted to go trick-or-treating.

When my boy was five years old and in kindergarten, I battled this decision about Halloween for the first time.

On October 31, I agonized over it all day. I talked to my friend who had a boy the same age, and she was trying to decide what a Christian should do with the holiday, too. We were both miserable.

I prayed all day long, Lord, what do you want me to do with this?

Finally, in the late afternoon, my husband and I agreed my son could at least have the fun of giving away candy at our door. I bought little Christian Halloween pamphlets that we could hand out with the candy, sharing the good news of Christ.

Still I prayed, Lord, is this okay? Am I making a good choice for my kids?

At 5:00 I gathered my two little ones at the table (my husband was still at work). We were eating an early dinner so we would be ready to greet trick-or-treaters.

I said, Son, would you thank Jesus for our food?

He bowed his head.

Then he prayed and said, Dear Jesus, I’m sorry I am a sinner. Will you please forgive me and come live in my heart? And thanks for the food.

WHAT???

I looked at my daughter, who was 8 years old, and said, Did your brother just give his heart to Jesus?

She said, Umm, I think so!

I stared at my son and then laughed out loud with joy.

Caleb, did you just give your life to Jesus?

Yes, he said.

Five years old. October 31. That was the day he decided to follow Christ.

He had been asking me questions about God for several weeks, when I would tuck him into bed. I guess he had finally found his answers and was ready to make a decision.

I still shake my head with joy and wonder to think about it.

My point in writing this has absolutely nothing to do with how you should handle Halloween.

I just want you to know this: There will be ever so many cultural situations where there is no nice, tidy Bible verse to tell you exactly what to do for your children.

In those circumstances you have to pour out your soul to God and beg him to help you make a good decision.

Then, we have to be willing to do what pleases the Lord and not what pleases our children or our culture.

But I give you the promise of Jesus, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” (Matthew 5:6 ESV)

If what you want more than anything is to parent in a way that is pleasing to the Lord, He will guide and reward your decision.

Christy Fitzwater is a pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She is the mother of a son in high school (in the picture above!) and a daughter who was recently married. She enjoys when the days get shorter and the weather nasty so she doesn’t feel guilty about not going outside. Days where she can just read books and write words all day. She can even tell you the plots of 15 missionary biographies without batting an eye. You can read her personal blog at ChristyFitzwater. Also find her at Pinterest and Twitter.

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)



*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post How to Make Tough Decisions When Parenting Kids in this World appeared first on Club 31 Women.

How My Husband Became My Best Friend

He often introduces me as his girlfriend.

Ever-so-slightly embarrassing.

He’ll say it to the barista at Starbucks, or the cashier in the check-out line of the grocery store. Even to the new couple we met at the homeschool picnic.

After 22 years, you’d think I’d get used to it, but it still makes me blush.

And smile.

I always hasten to add that I also happen to be his wife –an important fact to establish when you have 8 children together.

And I’ll flash my wedding ring to prove it if necessary.

I think he gets some kind of odd gratification out of my embarrassment.

Then pretends to protest, “What . . . you are my girlfriend, aren’t you?”

Yes, well . . .

It’s true: I am a girl. And I am his friend.  A close friend.

The best of friends, really.

So I guess that does make me his girl-friend.

And like most good friendships, ours has grown over time. We’ve had to invest in our friendship and look after it.

So many times people think it’s because we somehow just “click”. But while there might be some “clicking” between us, it’s more than that. Far more than that.

It wasn’t as though we instantly became best friends. It’s been a long, purposeful process.

Here is how we became the best of friends….

How Your Husband Can Become Your Best Friend

By spending time together.  I know. You’re going to tell me how busy you are. I understand busy. And yet I figure I manage to get a shower (usually) and several meals a day. That’s because it’s a priority with me. I need these things.

I also need time with my husband, so I can make that happen too.

By being nice to him.  You know how you’re super sweet to your girlfriends?  Smile and cheer them on? Do nice things for them? Yeah, well, it’s kinda the same here. This friendship is no different.

Play nice.

By being interested in his stuff. So I have one friend who is really into gardening. And another who is into goats. I am not particularly keen on either of those things – but since it’s my friends we’re talking about here, I’ve decided to be interested. For their sakes.

Same with my husband.

By having fun together.  Friendships are never all business, are they? Of course not! It’s not like you sit down with your girlfriend and constantly go over the budget, or decide who is going to drive which child where.  No, you sip coffee, go fun places and laugh at each other’s stories!

Hello . . . ?

By praying for him. If you’re a friend of mine, than you already know that I pray for you.  I can’t always get away from the kids, or write long emails, but you can count on my praying for you. It’s one of my “love gifts” to my friends.

And I pray for my husband and he knows it.

Just this past week-end Matthew was out-of-town on a business trip and called to ask me to pray for him about a particular issue.  I started praying as soon as I hung up the phone.

Because that’s what friends do.

{You might also be interested in joining the 31 Days of Prayer for Our Marriages by Time-Warp Wife. Her Prayer Challenge is starting up this week on October 1st!}

So if you ever run into my husband and he introduces me as his girlfriend, just smile and go along with it, will you?

Maybe even tell him that you feel like you already know him . . . . since Lisa talks so much about her boyfriend.

Embracing friendship.

*How do you and your husband invest in your friendship? Or what are some of the things that get in the way? I love hearing from you, friends!

In His grace,

*I hope you’ve enjoyed our Virtual Marriage Retreat! You can still hop over to any of the links below to catch up on all the articles written for this series. 

These 5 bloggers and I have joined together to offer  a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage.

Sheila Gregoire of ToLoveHonorandVacuum
Darlene Schacht of Time-WarpWife
Courtney Joseph of WomenLivingWell
Ashleigh Slater of AshleighSlater
Jennifer Smith of UnveiledWife

On these  5 topics . . . .

Embracing Grace 
Embracing Change  
Embracing Your Differences  
Embracing Unity 
Embracing Friendship 

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

The post How My Husband Became My Best Friend appeared first on Club 31 Women.

A Spiritual Lift for the Tired and Busy Mom

So my husband and I had one of those conversations in the car this week.

Oh no, not one of those.

This one was actually about this book I’d just finished reading.

He could tell that I was enjoying it. Because he kept seeing it in my hands whenever I had a spare minute.

(Not that I really have “spare” minutes, but you know what I mean.)

I’d first heard about this book when some friends were posting on Facebook their “Top 10 Books that were influential in their lives” and this book was listed on several of them.

So naturally, I had to check it out.

Now, after reading it, I could see why it was listed in the Top Ten.

This book offers a spiritual lift to a tired and busy mom.

And you want to know something? This “tired and busy” mom could use a lift now and then.

Like right now.

And so I found myself picking up Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full every chance I got. Because friends? My hands are full right now.

Maybe your hands are full too.

If so, I thought you might be as encouraged and refreshed as I was by this little book of “Gospel devotions”.

About Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms

A Treasure-filled Book: In it you’ll find gems such as these:

“When the mundane looms larger than eternal life, we forget who God is, who we are, and who our children are.

When we have eternity in view, we respond to motherhood differently than if we lived just for the moment. We see that our children are marching toward a destiny.”

and

“God’s grace to us in Christ is greater than any frustration that threatens to unravel us. Because Jesus is upholding the universe with His word, we can trust Him with any no-good, very bad day.” ~ Gloria Furman

A Short, but Deep Read:  This is a relatively small book – only 160 pages long – and yet contains many rich truths for the weary mom to consider.

A Christ-Centered Book: This is more of a WHY than a how-to book. The author is continually pointing us back to Christ and His Word rather than a practical, child-training type of book (Both can be helpful to moms: I just wanted to clarify that this book falls more into the first category).

An Encouragement to Moms with Young Children and More: While the author is primarily addressing the mothers of young ones, I still found her insights and reminders to be very refreshing at the stage I am in with older children.

An Honest and Inspiring Testimony: In addition to being the wife of a pastor and mother of four young children, Gloria and her family minister in the Middle East at the Redeemer Church of Dubai. Her hands certainly qualify as “full” to overflowing.

Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms

by Gloria Furman

Paperback: 160 pages

Publisher: Crossway; 1 edition (March 31, 2014)

Motherhood is tough, and it often feels like the to-do list just gets longer and longer every day—making it hard to experience true joy in God, our children, and the gospel.

In this encouraging book for frazzled moms, Gloria Furman helps us reorient our vision of motherhood around what the Bible teaches. Showing how to pursue a vibrant relationship with God–even when discouragement sets in and the laundry still needs to be washed–this book will help you treasure Christ more deeply no matter how busy you are. ~ from the back cover of Treasure Christ When Your Hands Are Full

*Gloria Furman is also the author of Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home. You can read more from and about Gloria on her blog: GloriaFurman.com

Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full is available (both paperback and Kindle) for purchase HERE.

So for all you tired and busy moms (and we know who we are) who could use a lift, this book offers spiritual encouragement in the middle of an intensely pouring-out season of life.

I hope you’ve found this Club31Women Book Review helpful and inspiring!

 

In His grace,



*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

The post A Spiritual Lift for the Tired and Busy Mom appeared first on Club 31 Women.

How to Create the Ideal Headquarters for Managing Your Home

The strangest things make me happy.

Or so my children tell me. They think I’m a little bit funny that way.

Like having the perfect place to manage my home.

Okay, maybe not perfect, but it works for me.

Our kids might not understand it. This pleasure of creating just the right spot for running things around here.

But you get it. Don’t you?

Like when he asks “Where are my keys, dear?” And I can say right back, “They’re hanging up here, my Love.”

Like when my friend calls and asks what to do about such-and-such and I can reply, “Wait just a minute while I look that up for you.”

Like when my teenage daughter needs marking pens. And glue. And tape. And a ruler.  And I can say, “Sure, Honey, they’re all right here.”

Or like when he asks for the receipt from Lowe’s Home Improvement because that power-tool isn’t so powerful after all and he wants to return it. Then all I have to do is open the box and hand it to him.

You see? I just knew you’d understand.

(Okay, maybe it doesn’t always work out quite like I planned—this finding of the keys, for instance . . we’re still working on that one.)

But it’s funny how this place – this headquarters where so much happens – is often the last place we invest in. Even though it’s one of the most important places in the house. At least as far as managing our  homes go.

This is a Very Important Place.

The 3 Basics for Your Headquarters: Location, Organization, & Decoration

Location:  For many years, I’ve had my Headquarters situated in the kitchen.  Two of the houses we lived in actually had a desk built right into the kitchen counter which was highly convenient. Currently, my spot is back in our bedroom, believe it or not. You’ll want to pick a place that it convenient – whether that means in the center of things or slightly secluded – depending on your priorities at the time.

Organization:  I like to identify my main “areas” that I manage and then figure out ways to organize each. This might include things like: receipts, business papers, homeschool stuff, personal correspondence, and such.  Then watch the clearance shelves at places like Staples or Michael’s crafts for organizational items. You can also search Craig’s List for great finds. That’s how we found both my office armoire (see below) and my husband’s office set for a terrific price (translation: cheap, cheap!).

Decoration:  Okay, this is the best part. Why not make it fun and/or pretty? I mean you’re going to be spending some time here, so let’s make it a pleasant (as possible) experience.  Add a little creativity with one of your favorite themes: Elegant, whimsical, colorful, or funky. Besides, don’t you think you’re more inclined to take care of business, if it’s lovely too?

A Peak at the Inside of My Personal Headquarters

Alright, so this is what it look like on the inside of mine. Yours is going to look different, of course, because it’s going to reflect you and the unique needs of your home and family.

But here is what is in mine: 

Notecards and notebooks. Here are your basics – things you’re going to grab most every day.
Resources. A place for those books and resources that you refer to often. For me that would include favorite books, essential oils catalog, and homeschool books.
Printer. I know – this was a big investment. But I admit that I just love having my own printer! I use it ALL the time (mostly for homeschooling, but for other things too).
Paperwork. I try to keep only the most important stuff here: taxes, important receipts, and you’d-better-not-lose-this stuff.
Receipts. You see that pretty white box? THAT holds this year’s supply of receipts for just about everything. I might have to shuffle through it a bit, but it should (should!) contain that Lowe’s receipt that my husband was wanting to return.
Stationary. Maybe it’s a bit old-fashioned, but I still like to send hand-written thank you notes and such. So that brown box is full of stationary and notes that I’ve picked up…you guessed it! from the clearance shelves.
Supplies. Gather all those necessary goodies that make life easier: file folders, envelopes, printing paper, etc. I find that I’m much more efficient when I’m not having to look all over the house for, say, an envelope.
File folders. This is probably my least favorite part, but….*sigh it must be done. I have a file for taxes (*double sigh) and one for each one of our children. Here is where I store our birth certificates and Important Papers.

*Other Essentials: I also have a large calendar (on left of the armoire) and a dry-erase board for notes, plus a place to hang keys (right of armoire).

So these are my main categories and you’ll probably have some that are the same and some that are all your own. Maybe you help with your husband’s business? Or have your own home business? You homeschool, or your kids attend a school? Whatever the case, think through those areas that you’re responsible for and then enjoy setting up a system and spot that works well for you.

Your ideal headquarters.

It will likely take some time and effort to get it up and running, but what a worthy investment! After all, it will make for a happy place for you to work from.

And that’s something you know I’ll understand . . .

*Do you want to share what works for you? What creative solutions have you found for your headquarters?

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)



*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

 

 

The post How to Create the Ideal Headquarters for Managing Your Home appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Teaching Your Child Social Skills in a Screen-Driven World

You know the scene: one child is playing video games on a tablet while an older sister is texting away, never looking up from her screen.

The mom tries to have a conversation but can’t compete with the screens.

Although social media implies being “social,” we know that many kids are growing up with a lack of true people skills.  When we overuse screens, we underuse relational skills.

What can you do to teach your child to care of others and to be truly social in a screen-driven world?

Practice, Practice, Practice

When it comes to learning a new skill like hitting a baseball or playing the piano, you know the saying “Practice makes perfect.”  The role of practice is just as important when learning positive social skills.  Consider your home as the dress rehearsal.  It’s a safe place where your kids can role play and practice making conversation for common social settings they will experience in real life.

Begin by explaining how your child will benefit from acting friendly even when he would rather play a video game.  Some benefits may be having more fun, making good friends, or enjoying school and social activities more.  Share how becoming friendly has helped you in your life.

Here are a few social scenarios to practice at home with your child:

Successful play dates.  Pretend you are a friend coming over to play.  “What should we play?” you ask.  Have your child pick five fun activities to choose from (things like board games, Legos, soccer or basketball).  Make screens off limits and be sure to serve an extra delicious snack.

Playground fun.  Go outside and pretend you are at your child’s school playground or a neighborhood playground.  Ask your child, “What do you do when you first get to the playground?”  Suggest that he or she look out for anyone who is standing alone.  How might your child go about joining a group that’s playing?  What if they say there’s no room?  Run through different scenarios and how your child can respond.  Role play situations to help your child practice interacting with classmates or neighborhood kids.

Navigating the classroom.  Have your child sit at a table as you pretend to be the teacher.  Ask a question and have your child raise his or her hand and tell you the answer.  Stress the importance of making eye contact with his teacher.  If your child has to present something to the whole class, practice many times at home in front of sibling or stuffed animals.

Meeting adults.  You can make this activity more fun by putting on a costume like a hat or jacket.  Practice the introduction as you pretend to be the new adult.  “Joy, this is Mrs. Davis.”  Have your child look you in the eyes and say, “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Davis.”  Go one step further and teach your child to ask the new acquaintance a question like, “How are you today?” or “What do you do for your job?”

Giving and receiving compliments.  Pretend to be a friend, coach, or teacher and give your child a compliment like “You did a very good job on your drawing.”  Have your child practice looking you in the eyes and saying, “Thank you.”  Encourage your child not to mumble his thank you, but to say it clearly and enthusiastically.  Then have your child practice giving a compliment to you.  Challenge your child to compliment one person that day and report back to you on how it goes.

Reading non-verbals.  Successful communication consists of both words and non-verbal cues.  Screens can’t teach a child the nuances of body language or facial expressions.  But you can act out different facial expressions to quiz your child.  As you make different faces (sad, angry, happy, etc.), ask your child to name the feeling.  You can thumb through a magazine together and identify the different emotions the people pictured are displaying.  What might they be feeling by the way they look?  What does their body language tell you?

As you teach your child social skills, keep Romans 12:10 in mind:  “Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.”

This is the why behind your training.

When you help your child prioritize people above screens, you are preparing him or her to thrive with many healthy relationships.  No app can do that – but you can!

*Adapted from Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World by Arlene Pellicane and Gary Chapman.

Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World

In this digital age, children are spending more and more time interacting with a screen rather than a parent. Technology has the potential to add value to our families, but it can also erode a sense of togetherness and hinder a child’s emotional growth.

In Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World, you’ll learn how to take back your home from an over-dependence on screens. Discover the five A+ skills needed to give your child the relational edge in a screen-driven world: affection, appreciation, anger management, apology, and attention.

Today’s screens aren’t just in our living rooms; they are in our pockets. Now is the time to equip your child to live with screen time, not for screen time. Constant entertainment is not the goal of childhood. No phone, tablet, or gaming device can teach your child how to have healthy relationships; only you can.

 Growing Up Social is available HERE

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife.  She has been featured on the Today Show, Family Life Today, K-LOVE, and The Better Show.  She lives in San Diego with her husband James and three children.  Visit Arlene at www.ArlenePellicane.com for free family resources including a monthly Happy Home podcast.

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post Teaching Your Child Social Skills in a Screen-Driven World appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Teaching Your Child Social Skills in a Screen-Driven World {& Giveaway}

*A special guest post by Arlene Pellicane, co-author with Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages) of the newly released Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World.

You know the scene: one child is playing video games on a tablet while an older sister is texting away, never looking up from her screen.

The mom tries to have a conversation but can’t compete with the screens.

Although social media implies being “social,” we know that many kids are growing up with a lack of true people skills.  When we overuse screens, we underuse relational skills.

What can you do to teach your child to care of others and to be truly social in a screen-driven world?

Practice, Practice, Practice

When it comes to learning a new skill like hitting a baseball or playing the piano, you know the saying “Practice makes perfect.”  The role of practice is just as important when learning positive social skills.  Consider your home as the dress rehearsal.  It’s a safe place where your kids can role play and practice making conversation for common social settings they will experience in real life.

Begin by explaining how your child will benefit from acting friendly even when he would rather play a video game.  Some benefits may be having more fun, making good friends, or enjoying school and social activities more.  Share how becoming friendly has helped you in your life.

Here are a few social scenarios to practice at home with your child:

Successful play dates.  Pretend you are a friend coming over to play.  “What should we play?” you ask.  Have your child pick five fun activities to choose from (things like board games, Legos, soccer or basketball).  Make screens off limits and be sure to serve an extra delicious snack.

Playground fun.  Go outside and pretend you are at your child’s school playground or a neighborhood playground.  Ask your child, “What do you do when you first get to the playground?”  Suggest that he or she look out for anyone who is standing alone.  How might your child go about joining a group that’s playing?  What if they say there’s no room?  Run through different scenarios and how your child can respond.  Role play situations to help your child practice interacting with classmates or neighborhood kids.

Navigating the classroom.  Have your child sit at a table as you pretend to be the teacher.  Ask a question and have your child raise his or her hand and tell you the answer.  Stress the importance of making eye contact with his teacher.  If your child has to present something to the whole class, practice many times at home in front of sibling or stuffed animals.

Meeting adults.  You can make this activity more fun by putting on a costume like a hat or jacket.  Practice the introduction as you pretend to be the new adult.  “Joy, this is Mrs. Davis.”  Have your child look you in the eyes and say, “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Davis.”  Go one step further and teach your child to ask the new acquaintance a question like, “How are you today?” or “What do you do for your job?”

Giving and receiving compliments.  Pretend to be a friend, coach, or teacher and give your child a compliment like “You did a very good job on your drawing.”  Have your child practice looking you in the eyes and saying, “Thank you.”  Encourage your child not to mumble his thank you, but to say it clearly and enthusiastically.  Then have your child practice giving a compliment to you.  Challenge your child to compliment one person that day and report back to you on how it goes.

Reading non-verbals.  Successful communication consists of both words and non-verbal cues.  Screens can’t teach a child the nuances of body language or facial expressions.  But you can act out different facial expressions to quiz your child.  As you make different faces (sad, angry, happy, etc.), ask your child to name the feeling.  You can thumb through a magazine together and identify the different emotions the people pictured are displaying.  What might they be feeling by the way they look?  What does their body language tell you?

As you teach your child social skills, keep Romans 12:10 in mind:  “Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.”

This is the why behind your training.

When you help your child prioritize people above screens, you are preparing him or her to thrive with many healthy relationships.  No app can do that – but you can!

*Adapted from Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World by Arlene Pellicane and Gary Chapman.

GIVEAWAY: Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World

In this digital age, children are spending more and more time interacting with a screen rather than a parent. Technology has the potential to add value to our families, but it can also erode a sense of togetherness and hinder a child’s emotional growth.

In Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World, you’ll learn how to take back your home from an over-dependence on screens. Discover the five A+ skills needed to give your child the relational edge in a screen-driven world: affection, appreciation, anger management, apology, and attention.

Today’s screens aren’t just in our living rooms; they are in our pockets. Now is the time to equip your child to live with screen time, not for screen time. Constant entertainment is not the goal of childhood. No phone, tablet, or gaming device can teach your child how to have healthy relationships; only you can.

You can purchase a copy (in paperback or Kindle) of Growing Up Social HERE

I’m also happy to be giving away 2 copies of Growing Up Social!

a Rafflecopter giveaway



Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife.  She has been featured on the Today Show, Family Life Today, K-LOVE, and The Better Show.  She lives in San Diego with her husband James and three children.  Visit Arlene at www.ArlenePellicane.com for free family resources including a monthly Happy Home podcast.

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post Teaching Your Child Social Skills in a Screen-Driven World {& Giveaway} appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Embracing Unity: How Two People Can Think and Act as One

I think it’s pretty sweet.

What? What’s sweet?

Oh, you know the way you always check in with your husband before committing to do anything. 

“Sweet.” Hmm . . . .

Not necessarily the word I would have used.

But, yeah, I guess I do “always check in” with him.

And he with me.

Because we’ve made it our practice to think and act as one.

Some people think this is sweet, like my friend.

For other people?  It makes them shudder. Like we’re somehow just too “into” each other.

Do I ever feel stifled? Hindered? Slowed down by this whole “oneness” thing?

Admittedly, it was a new way for me to look at life – this life we’re now sharing together – but the Bible states we are no longer two people like we were before.

We are now one flesh.

So what exactly does that mean?

Surely, not simply that we sleep together.

Not that it isn’t important – because it is – but it’s got to mean more than that. One flesh is mentioned in such a way as not merely to be a matter of going to bed with him.

The two shall become one.

No longer he and me . . . because now it’s WE.

And you know what we have found? It takes a little – okay a lot of – practice and intentionality. We have to purpose to think and act as one. 

How Do Two People Think and Act as One?

We don’t lead private lives. There’s no such thing as “his” life and “mine”. We belong to each other and so there are no secrets or hidden things. For instance, I have free access to his computer and he to mine. We have a basic knowledge where the other person is at all times. We share with each other what we’ve been thinking about, who we’ve been talking to, and what is on our heart.

Unity means being completely open with one another.

We don’t make independent decisions. We make all major decisions together and run most minor decisions by the other person. And, yes, I do believe in submitting to my husband because that’s what God says in His Word (Eph.5:22). But at the same time, I’m blessed to be married to a man who values my opinion and cares deeply about my concerns. We aim to be of one mind on most everything.

Unity means making your decisions together.

We stand together as one. As my husband reminds me, “You and I are on the inside. Everyone else is looking in from the outside.” What this means is that we are protective of our unity and don’t allow anyone – not family or friends – to try and divide us. Staying unified can be challenging enough without the added stress of others pulling us apart.

Unity means being fiercely loyal to each other.

We speak as one. You wouldn’t have to know us long before you picked up that we often say “we” and “our” rather than “I” and “my”. This is not merely one of our quirks, but language we consciously use to inform others – as well to remind ourselves – that we are in this together. It’s not about what I want or what he wants, but what WE want and what WE are thinking.

Unity means communicating your togetherness.

So that’s the real reason why I “always check in with him” and why I plan to do keep doing so. And maybe it is sorta sweet. But it’s more than that too. It’s oneness and it’s biblical marriage.

No longer two.

But one. 

Challenge: What are some ways that you and your husband maintain your unity? Or, what are some challenges you face in living as “one”?

In His grace,

*I hope you are being blessed and refreshed by our Virtual Marriage Retreat!

Every Monday in September, these five bloggers and I are offering a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage. I hope you’ll hop over to see each one of them!

Jennifer Smith of UnveiledWife
Sheila Gregoire of ToLoveHonorandVacuum
Darlene Schacht of Time-WarpWife
Courtney Joseph of WomenLivingWell
Ashleigh Slater of AshleighSlater

And here are the topics . . . .

September 1 – Embracing Grace 
September 8th – Embracing Change  
September 15th – Embracing Your Differences  
September 22nd – Embracing Unity 
September 29th – Embracing Friendship 

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post Embracing Unity: How Two People Can Think and Act as One appeared first on Club 31 Women.

FREE Printable: 12 Lessons I Want Our Son to Learn

Earlier this week I shared about how one son so gallantly opened the door for the guy behind us on our last trip to the library.

Put such a smile on this mama’s face.

And then how moments later,  another son nearly knocked this sweet white-haired lady off her feet as he cut in front of her.

Oops!

And how I realized that we still had a few things to teach our boys around here.

Apparently, we’re not the only ones either based on the response to that article. Thank you everyone for your kind and encouraging words!

Now here’s the free printable that I promised.  Just click the link below and print & save to your computer! 

12 Lessons I Want Our Son to Learn Before He Turns 12

*If you’re reading this in your email, you’ll want to hop over to the blog to download the printable – just click the “web version” button at the bottom of the email.

You are welcome to print as many as you like and to share with your friends.

A small gift from me and mine to you and yours!

Thankful to be walking with you,

*Based on the original article 12 Lessons I Want to Teach Our Son Before He Turns 12

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post FREE Printable: 12 Lessons I Want Our Son to Learn appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Why Not Build a Lasting Friendship in Your Marriage? {& Book and Journal Giveaway}

It is when we are doing things together that friendship springs up – painting, sailing ships, praying, philosophizing, and fighting shoulder to shoulder. Friends look in the same direction. – C.S. Lewis

Let’s talk about the old days.

The days before “we” when it was just “you and he.” Back to the foundation of friendship where a seed of romance was planted and watered until it took root.

Remember those days?

What was it like to be new-found friends? How was life different?

Michael and I were friends for several months before we dated. Not your regular run of the mill friendship, where we met for coffee every other week no, like most young couples, we were inseparable buddies. We spent hours on end talking on the phone about the music we enjoyed, the movies that made us cry, friends from the past… and more than anything else–we laughed.

We went for picnics, attended church, and spent time at the park. Taking long walks I’d feel the brush of his hand against mine wondering when and if they’d ever connect.

Like any new and exciting friendship I was sincerely interested in knowing what he was about, so I asked questions and listened intently to every word that he spoke and every story he told. There was no doubt in my mind that this man was my very best friend. We made every effort to spend time together.

Fast forward about 15 years… Michael and I were struggling with the day to day details of starting a new business. We were dealing with the loss of five babies to miscarriage, and had started raising a family. Michael was working long hours and I was busy at home taking care of the babies.

Unfortunately, like many couples who are busy being Mom and Dad, our friendship was swept to the side for a time. Thankfully we’ve made an effort to pull friendship back to the forefront of our relationship.

If you’re wondering what that looks like, it’s a matter of carving out time to spend in each other’s company, and enjoying the time that you have.

Alone time? That’s good, but not always practical when you have a house full of kids. Spending time with your husband might be putting a puzzle together on the kitchen table, watching a Lord of the Rings Marathon (which I recently did), or enjoying a picnic with your kids at the park.

As much as I want to suggest “date nights” to you, I’m going to veer in a slightly different direction today by sharing two romantic little nuggets with you:

My parents were married for 60 years, and I don’t ever remember them going out on a “date.” It just wasn’t their thing. They had a big family and they were careful about the way that they spent their money.

But here’s what I did notice about them… aside from watching TV and gardening together, they spent time laughing together. Looking back at it now, the one thing that I loved most about spending time at the cabin was the fact that the walls were thin and I could hear my parents chatting and laughing in bed. They would giggle and talk for a good half hour before falling asleep.

Then this afternoon I had lunch with a couple that’s been happily married for over 30 years.

Do you want to know how they spend their evenings together? He reads classic novels to her while she works in the kitchen.

I asked, “How many has he read to you? She said, “Hmm… let me think… how long have we been married?” (My heart just about melted when I heard that one!)

Date nights don’t get much better than that, do they?

The bottom line is that friends don’t only enjoy each other’s company, they make an effort to do so.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.” ~ Proverbs 5:18

Darlene Schacht is the well-known Time Warp Wife whose purpose in ministry is to encourage wives to put God first in their lives. She inspires us to love our husbands and children, and to be good homemakers.

Darlene is an Evangelical Christian who has been married to her husband Michael for over twenty-five years. They have four children and two adorable pugs. Their lives are basically surrounded by three things: faith, family, and books.

Her newest book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages (Thomas Nelson), delivers an incredible testimony of grace that offers hope for today’s marriages and a spark for rekindling love. Visit Darlene’s website at: www.TimeWarpWife.com

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

And now I’m excited to announce the release of Darlene Schacht’s new book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages!

I’ll never forget first reading Darlene’s story on her blog and walking upstairs to my husband’s office to share it with him. I didn’t even know Darlene yet, but I was moved to tears by her testimony. He listened to me read her words and was equally touched by her messy, beautiful love story. That was the beginning of one of those wonderful ways God moves and connects lives.  Matthew became Darlene’s literary agent and a few short months later, she had a signed contract with Thomas Nelson. And now this week that same book is being released!

You can purchase Darlene’s book Messy, Beautiful Love HERE 

Or you can enter to win one of two copies of her book, as well as this lovely journal below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway



Blessings and enjoy!

In His grace,





*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post Why Not Build a Lasting Friendship in Your Marriage? {& Book and Journal Giveaway} appeared first on Club 31 Women.