Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 55

12 Lessons I Want Our Son to Learn Before He Turns 12

Isn’t it amazing how much you can learn in one trip to the library?

Most every week I take one . . . or more . . . of the boys with me for a Library Date.

Yesterday, I took all three boys – ages 8, 10, and 12.

The boys raced for the entrance door, but then the oldest stayed behind and held the door open for the person who had come up the walk behind us.

Warming my mother’s heart.

Still smiling as we walked toward the Children’s section, I watched as our youngest boy cut right in front of this white-haired lady. Nearly knocking her off her feet. Whoosh! 

I gasped a little.

Thankfully, she was sweet about it.

But honestly!

I pulled my son in close to me and whispered in his ear, “Son, don’t you see what you just did? You ran in front of that lady and nearly tripped her to the ground.”

His intelligent response went something like this . . . .

“Huh??”

The word oblivious comes to mind.

And that’s what got me thinking . . .

I’ve got some teaching to do. Maybe it’s not the end of the world to have your 8-year-old racing through the library and nearly taking out every elderly lady in his path. But I wanted more for him than that.

Way more than that.

I want our young sons to learn to look after others, to be mindful of the world around them, and to be ready for their calling when God gives it.

So we still have some important things to learn around here—some things that you don’t necessarily learn from the library.

And some . . . that I guess you do.

 12 Lessons I Want Our Son to Learn Before He Turns 12

1.    The Benefit of Kindness.  Offering kindness to others is a both a blessing to the other person and to yourself. Go out of your way to show kindness to others and you’ll be the better man for it.

A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. ~ Prov. 11:17

2.     The Value of Hard Work.  It might not feel pleasant at the time, but there’s nothing like the satisfaction of a job well-done and the reward of giving it all you’ve got.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men ~ Col. 3:23

3.     The Power of Self-Control.  Learning to get a grip on yourself and your temper will make you the true winner.

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.  ~ Prov. 16:32

4.     The Gift of Good Manners. Taking the trouble to choose politeness will more than pay off. Good manners will open more doors than kicking one down ever will.

“Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.” – Theodore Roosevelt

5.     The Walk of Humility.  The world would have you strutting around, showing off your “stuff” but God has a much better approach. Walk humbly in His strength rather than your own.

What does the LORD require of you . . . but to walk humbly with your God? ~ Mic. 6:8

6.     The Blessing of Obedience.  Listen to God’s instructions and you’ll experience great blessings—not necessarily in the way some people view blessings, but in much deeper and richer ways than the world will ever know.

Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments. ~ Ps. 112:1

7.     The Honor of Justice.  Always uphold that which is good and right – no matter what the personal cost.  And fight against injustice wherever you come across it. It’s your privilege and honor to do so.

Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause. ~ Isa. 1:17

8.     The Strength of Serving Others.  As God has equipped you, so use those gifts – not to build yourself up – but to offer your talents and skills to help others.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace. ~ I Pet. 4:10

9.     The Dignity of Respect.  Showing respect might be considered somewhat old-fashioned, but it says as much about you – maybe even more – than it does about the other person. Speak and treat others respectfully.

Outdo one another in showing honor. ~ Rom. 12:10

10.    The Courage to Do What’s Right.  It takes a brave man to stand up for what is right. Be that man and don’t back down from evil. Not ever.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. ~ Rom. 12:21

11.    The Delight in God’s Word.  Learn to love the Word of God for it is “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword” (Heb. 4:12). Arm yourself with His Word and you will be prepared for whatever you face in life.

Blessed is the man who(se) . . .  delight is in the law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night.~ Ps. 1:1-2

12.    The Unfailing Love of Christ. No matter what you might encounter in life, nothing . . . no, nothing will keep you from Christ’s love.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ~ Rom. 8:35

All that from one trip to the library.

Pretty amazing, huh?

In His grace,

P.S.  I meant to mention that I will be offering a printable of this a little later. 

P.S. S. And, yes, this would apply to daughters too.  Our girls are past 12 now and still learning these lessons and a few more of their own. Kinda like me. 

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post 12 Lessons I Want Our Son to Learn Before He Turns 12 appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Why Big Differences Make for the Best Marriages

You think by now we’d know.

I mean we’ve been married for years and years. Over two decades.

But somehow it hit us anew.

It all began with our son who is back east at college. He called to tell us about how he and his friends were all taking this personality test. And he thought we should do it too.

Oh, sure! That’d be fun.

So we sat down one evening and filled out the questionnaire.

A piece of cake.

He took his and I took mine. The questions were simple and straightforward and we were done in less than 12 minutes.

But the conversation that followed lasted several hours.

 The personality test went something like this:

You need to retreat and have some “alone time” after spending some time talking to other people.

Him: Nope. Not usually. (Extrovert)

Me: Absolutely. (Introvert)

You often do things spontaneously or in a rush.

Him: Pretty much.

Me: Not if I can help it.

You would rather call yourself down-to-earth than a dreamer.

Him: More like Mr. Visionary.

Me: Down-to-earth and practical to a fault.

Keeping your options open is more important than having a to-do list.

Him: The more options the better.

Me: Love my to-do lists!

So you can see how it is.

Big differences.

We each have our own way of looking at the world. We think differently. Respond differently. Feel differently

Not necessarily opposites. But definitely not the same.

When we first married, I don’t think we factored in these differences. It didn’t matter all that much to us, but as the years went on the reality of these things became increasingly clear to both of us.

We were different.

Not just male and female, mind you.

But different in our personalities and perspectives.

You don’t need to take a personality test to discover you’re different though.

All you have to do is to watch how you each respond to certain situations. What appears to you as a disaster is merely a challenge to him.  What is an exciting possibility to you is an impractical pain to him. What fills you up, drains him and vice versa.

And so on down the list.

The world looks at this scenario and will declare you “incompatible”. The secular viewpoint considers this an impossible situation.

Irreconcilable.

But this is not how God views it. He has reconciled you. He says He is the one who joined you together (Mark 10:9). He is the one who makes you one flesh – not your similarities or common experience (Eph. 5:31).

God brought you and your husband together because of your differences . . . not in spite of them. Just think: God knows your husband even better than you do. He knows all too well how you both are made and how you are bent.

God put you two together because He knew what was best for the both of you. 

You Can Make the Best Marriage Out of Your Differences

Appreciate his strengths. Rather than getting frustrated at how quiet or loud, relaxed or uptight, he is – decide to be thankful for how God has made Him. I can choose to be upset by the way my husband “ruins” my well-laid plans with his spontaneous projects . . . or I can be thankful for the fun that he brings into our lives with his wild ideas. The second response makes it more fun for all of us!

*How do you respond to your husband’s strengths? Do you let them annoy you or are you grateful for them? 

Grow in the areas you are weak. I said I can be “practical to a fault”. Well, my husband is a very generous person and that’s an area that I’ve needed to grow in. My “practical” nature can hold me back from giving as freely as God would have me give.

*What are some weak areas that you can grow in and learn from your husband? 

Develop similar interests. Rather than settle in your different camps, seek to do what things you can together. Enter into his world and invite him into yours. Talk about what activities you could both learn to enjoy together.

*What are some things that you both like to do? Activities, recreation, or hobbies?

Establish common goals. Maybe you see and respond to things differently, but if you’re both working toward the same goals? Then this helps you pull together to achieve those things that you’ve both set out to do. At least once a year, we try to get away for a few days and talk over our past goals and write out new ones. These goals can fall in any category—ranging from family to career, from spiritual to house projects.

*Have you purposed together what goals the two of you – as a couple – are choosing to pursue? 

So if you discover that you and he are rather different – with or without a personality test – then make the most of your differences.

Because big differences can be made into the best of marriages!

CHALLENGE: Rather than just saying to your husband that you love him today, tell him a few of the reasons you love and appreciate him (including some of those differences). 

Every Monday in September, these five bloggers and I will be offering a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage. I hope you’ll hop over to see each one of them!

Ashleigh Slater of AshleighSlater
Jennifer Smith of UnveiledWife
Sheila Gregoire of ToLoveHonorandVacuum
Darlene Schacht of Time-WarpWife
Courtney Joseph of WomenLivingWell

And here are the topics . . . .

September 1 – Embracing Grace 
September 8th – Embracing Change  
September 15th – Embracing Your Differences  
September 22nd – Embracing Unity 
September 29th – Embracing Friendship 

I hope you are being blessed and refreshed by our Virtual Marriage Retreat!

In His grace,

 

The post Why Big Differences Make for the Best Marriages appeared first on Club 31 Women.

A Faith-Building Story You Will Never Forget

 My life was changed when I heard Darlene Rose’s story. It challenged my faith as nothing else had. ~  Ruth Bell Graham (daughter of Billy Graham)

Maybe you’re different than me.

You wake up inspired and are confident in your purpose each morning. You can see clearly what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

But that’s not always me.

Because sometimes I forget. I get lost in the busy and the mundane. I stare at my pile of laundry and try to figure out what’s for dinner.

And it all seems so terribly blaaaah.

Basically I get lost in my own story – and it doesn’t feel like a particularly interesting or inspiring one.

I have other kinds of days too. Days where I feel rather overwhelmed by my trials.  Surrounded by seemingly impossible situations. These are tough days too.

These are days when my faith can feel a bit wobbly.

But then I remember the 92 bananas.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget them.

My 3 daughters have read the same story and so we’ll often turn to each other in times of despair or discouragement and say, “Don’t forget the 92 bananas!” and our hope is renewed. Yes, we’ve all read the awe-inspiring story of Darlene Deibler Rose and it’s made its mark on us.

If your faith is feeling somewhat shaky and you could use some encouragement? Then I’d highly recommend reading this amazing and inspiring story: Evidence Not Seen: A Woman’s Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II

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The Story of Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose

As a new bride, Darlene Deibler followed her veteran missionary husband to the jungles of New Guinea, where the two worked to spread the word of the gospel to tribes who had never before seen a white woman. When World War II erupted, Darlene and her husband, Russell, were forced to go to separate internment camps where both endured countless horrors and degradations. Never to see her husband again, Darlene’s faith never wavered despite test after test. After four years of cruel internment in a Japanese camp, she was forced to sign a confession to a crime she did not commit and face the executioner’s sword, only to be miraculously spared.

This is the inspiring true story of a courageous woman who, despite the loss of her beloved husband, the death of her closest friends, and countless humiliations, never wavered in her faith in God and his plan for her life. ~ From the back cover of Evidence Not Seen

Well-Written: This is a well-told story—-full of insight, adventure, and even humor (yes, if you can believe it!).  I’ve shared this book with many people and they often say they couldn’t put it down. The story really flows and keeps you turning page after page.

Real Photos: The book has several pages of real photos taken before, during, and after the events take place. Amazing photographs capturing a time and place that is rarely recorded.

Faith-Building: Seeing God work over and over again – even through trial, tragedy, and pain – can significantly impact the way you view your own life and challenges. And somehow, despite the awful conditions, it is not a depressing book in the least, but has quite the opposite effect.

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Evidence Not Seen: A Woman’s Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II


by Darlene Deibler Rose
Pages: 224
Originally published: 1988
Reprint edition: Harper Collins, (November 25, 2003)
 
Evidence Not Seen is available for purchase here (click this link)

Over the years I’ve read many missionary and faith-filled stories, but this is one of the best I’ve ever read. The story – and the lessons throughout –  are truly unforgettable.

This is one of my favorite books of all time. Darlene’s story is so beautiful, so raw, and yet sweetened with unwavering faith all the way through. It’s one of the few books (other than the Bible, of course!) which I can honestly say, changed the way I looked at – and lived – my life. Highly recommended. ~ Lisa Jacobson (from my personal review of Evidence Not Seen on GoodReads)

I hope you’ve found this Club31Women Book Review helpful and inspiring!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.~ Heb. 11:1

In His grace,

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post A Faith-Building Story You Will Never Forget appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Why I Was Determined to Make Our Master Bedroom the Most Beautiful Room in the House {& How You Can Too}

I was somewhat famous as a child.

But maybe you didn’t know that?

Oh, I’m not saying that I was a child-star or television celebrity or anything like that.

No, mostly I was notorious for my messy, hurricane-styled bedroom.

Something of a phenomenon.

Yes, it was really that bad.

But then I grew up  and got married and you know what?

I got to share my room with someone else and he didn’t *ahem necessarily appreciate my “style”. The tornado look just wasn’t for him, if you know what I mean?

Yikes. Not good.

Something – or in this case, someone – needed to change.

And I was determined to make it happen.

Because my room could not longer simply be a dumping ground for all my stuff. A convenient place for all my collections and crafts. A storage spot for everything that didn’t fit elsewhere.

The purpose of my our bedroom had changed dramatically.

Now this wasn’t only my my place, but it was Our Place. And it said something about the two of us.

Our room represented us and, maybe even more importantly, what I thought about us.

Crazy? Chaotic? Disordered and disheveled? 

No way.

On the contrary, I wanted our room to be . . .

A Place of Refuge. A quiet spot for us to escape from the troubles and pressures of the world.

A Place of Refreshment. A room where we could breathe in and let the peaceful beauty restore our minds and spirits.

A Place of Rest. A small sanctuary where we could could rest and recover from the noise and frenetic activity around us.

Doesn’t that sound lovely? I thought so too.

It took a little love, and a lot of time and effort on my part, but eventually our room became  a quiet place of refuge.

How to Make Your Bedroom the Most Beautiful Room in the House

Don’t use your bedroom as a convenient storage spot. Now before you protest, remember I’ve been there. Do anything, anything but store stuff in your room. Depending on the house, I’ve had to get mighty creative with storage (or just get rid of it!) but keep your bedroom completely off the list. (Okay, I do “fudge” a little by keeping our wrapping-paper under our bed, but no one can see it!).

Make cleaning your bedroom as one of your top priorities. When I get up in the morning and after I’ve showered, I clean our bedroom. Every day. First thing. Yes, I’m serious. It’s that important.

And make your bed right away in the morning. Nothing sets the tone quite as nicely as a freshly made bed! And, if at all possible, invest in pretty bedding. While this can be an expensive purchase, it really doesn’t have to be. Watch for clearance sales or make your own quilt (I’ve done both).

Look into pretty paint and decor. I spent more time picking out our bedroom color than any other room in the house (actually, I tried 3 different colors before settling on our terra cotta color). Slowly over time, I’ve added small touches that make it lovely to me. Well, to us (see next point).

Ask your husband what he likes too. Every man is different, I know. My husband doesn’t care all that much (Whatever you think is pretty, Babe) – as long as it’s tidy and restful.

Go ahead and get creative.  What better place to express yourself than in your own room? Step outside the box a bit and choose things that mean something special to you.  I’ve set out the perfume bottle he first gave me and a painting that he had hung up in his apartment when I had just met him. These are things that say “us” to me.

Now in all honesty, our bedroom is my favorite room in the house. It’s like our own mini-retreat and we can slip back there at any time to escape from the world and enjoy simply being us. A peaceful place of refuge.

It’s Our Place.

And that’s beautiful.

*What kinds of things have you done to make your room beautiful? Or what challenges have you bumped into when it comes to turning your bedroom into a place of refuge? 

In His grace,



(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)



*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The post Why I Was Determined to Make Our Master Bedroom the Most Beautiful Room in the House {& How You Can Too} appeared first on Club 31 Women.

The Parent Trap: What to Do If You’ve Fallen Into a Parenting Rut

Do you remember those first moments after the birth of your first child?

For me, time, itself, came to a screeching halt as I gazed down upon my son

. . . My Son.

Those words were an explosion, an earthquake.

From somewhere deep within the unreachable expanse of the universe, an announcement was being made: Matthew Leonard Jacobson is now a father.

He lay there, peaceful, content – not doing much of anything except for the cadence of his perfectly formed chest, beating out the rhythm of life – like a drum in preparation for battle.

I couldn’t stop staring, couldn’t get enough of this . . . this vast miracle. It was like staring into the Grand Canyon for the first time – too big, too wonderful. You can’t take it in because your mind can’t contain it but, you can’t stop gazing into its endless mystery.

The drive home from the hospital was fraught with peril.

Never before had I realized how crazed the mad drivers of Portland really were. Why, there was one hapless driver who had the nerve to get within three dangerous car lengths of my back bumper! Didn’t that wreckless tailgater know I had The Sacred, Fragile, Treasure of the Universe on board? Unbelievable! It was non-stop peril until we got inside the apartment and locked the door.

“Piece of Work” pretty much sums it up for this first-time, maniacally overprotective father.

What God Is Doing in the World

Sanity was not long in recovering herself as we settled into our dreams for our new family. Once again, from somewhere in the Universe as we gazed into the oceanic expanse of this massive little life, we heard the Inspiring Voice of Destiny laying before us all that our new son could and would be.

What we were experiencing – what every new parent experiences on some level – is what God is doing in the world.

This is what makes the advent of a child so otherworldly, so exhilarating.

Do you remember those first weeks? God, in His infinite wisdom and divine purposes, has entrusted you and I with what He is doing in the world.

Children are what God is doing in the world.

But then . . . we forget . . . because of the noise, because of the bills, because of the pressures, the groceries, the activities, the schedule, the culture smog . . . because of The Parent Trap of everyday life.

Where once was vision, purpose, God’s best for the future, and our commitment to be purposeful, godly parents, are the endless demands of modern “Christian” life stuffed into too few hours until we fall into bed, hoping to get enough sleep so we can do it all again.

It’s a trap. It’s The Parent Trap.

The Parent Trap

God’s purposes haven’t changed from those first few hours you experienced eternity in the form of a little life. God’s vision hasn’t changed. What God is doing (our children) hasn’t changed, even though they’re a little older now.

But, we have changed.

We’re older, more tired, distracted by cares and a thousand other things that blur the focus of the trust placed in us by God for the discipling of our children.

And that makes all the difference when it comes to being the shepherd of our children’s hearts.

How do we get out of the trap and regain the understanding and vision that what we are doing as parents is so much more important than the busy things that scream for attention ?

We have to get our head back in the game or, more to the point, get our eyes on eternity, where what we do here and now will be ultimately realized.

1)    We must remember that our children are what God is doing in the world. Say to yourself every day, “My child/children are what God is doing in the world.”

2)    Remind yourself that, “My relationship with my child is more important than any activity we will do today.”

3)    Tell yourself that, “Today, God has entrusted this little life to me to nurture, to shepherd, and to point the way to Him.”

As parents, we have this moment with our children. There is no guarantee for another. We don’t know the future.

Let’s be reminded that Jesus only chose 12 disciples (those the Father gave Him, it says in the Gospel of John) to turn upside down the entire world.

How many disciples did God entrust to you?

Dad, Mom . . . you are the head of an enormously important enterprise. It might seem like only a bunch of messy peanut butter and honey on the outside of jars and a lot of dirty laundry but God is at work through your faithful witness and focused leading of your family to bring about the future as He intends – that’s massive.

So, remember the destiny you saw and felt in those first few weeks of your first child.

You’re walking in that destiny, even now.

Matthew L. Jacobson has been in the book publishing industry for 22 years and is currently the president of Loyal Arts Literary Agency. For the last 10 years, he’s served as a teaching elder in his local Church. Matthew and his beautiful bride of 22 years, Lisa, raise their 8 children in the Pacific NW. You can join him at his blog by clicking here: MatthewLJacobson.com or find Matthew on facebook.

 

The post The Parent Trap: What to Do If You’ve Fallen Into a Parenting Rut appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Those 7 Things That Never Change in a Healthy, Loving Marriage

It became something of joke between us.

I mean, if it had only happened once? Then I wouldn’t have thought much more about it.

But it seemed that every time I gave birth to a child . . . He gave birth to a new project.

A Major Project.

A move to a new house. Switching to a new job. Starting up a new company.

Always something new and something big.

So I started to tease him that he was unconsciously trying to compete with me. As if it wasn’t enough of a life-changing event for us to bring a child into the world.

He only smiled and gently held our tiny baby to his strong chest.  One more sweet baby boy added to our family crew.

That made it my eight babies to his six moves, four jobs and three companies.

Makes us about even, I figure.

But he says that I pulled ahead with that last little guy.

And he might be right.

Either way,  we both agree that change has been a predominant theme in our 22 years of marriage. Seems like there’s always been something new – and often unexpected – coming at us. Sometimes it came as a blessing and other times as a trial. But change is inevitable when you’re going through life together.

So we’ve done our best to embrace those changes, the easy and the hard, but there are also those things that we’ve determined to never change.  These are the things that keep our marriage strong and steady in the midst of upheaval and disruption. It’s these 7 things that have kept us grounded through it all.

Those 7 Things That Never Change in a Healthy, Loving Marriage

1.     The Need for Communication. No matter how many years you’ve been married, good communication is essential to a strong marriage. So don’t stop talking, whatever you do. And don’t limit it to talking, but express your love for each other in all kinds of other ways too. Sometimes the simple gesture of making his lunch says far more than words.

2.     The Commitment to Closeness. You don’t grow close by the mere fact that you live in the same house. For the rest of your lives together, you’ll want to seek each other out. You have to make time for one another. Pull away from the world and pull in together.

3.    The Offering of Forgiveness. The need to forgive never goes away. Sometimes I wish it did. But here we are after two decades of loving one another and still saying, “I’m sorry, my Love. Will you forgive me?”.  And it’s yes, yes, and yes again.

4.     The Desire for Touch. Matthew’s parents have been married for over 60 years and she still reaches for his hand and he continues to slip his arm around her shoulders. Touch is so powerful. So keep touching each other forever and always.

5.     The Determination to Work It Out. You’re tired. You’re discouraged. It doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere. Don’t give up. Whatever you do. Stay in the game and work it out, even if it takes a very long time and an heroic effort you don’t feel you have to give.

6.    The Pledge to Stay Together. Those marriage vows meant something real and the two of you are sticking together – no matter what. Through the good times and the hard times. A sacred trust you’ve both pledged to keep.

7.     The Promise to Love One Another. Love is mostly made up of those little choices that you make every single day. This is a selfless love that puts the other person first. Day after day. This is the meaning behind our promise when we said, “I love you”.

Lastly, and most importantly, no matter what changes come into your lives, we can count on our God who remains the same.  He is our perfect Father without variation or shadow. He is unchanging and the faithful foundation of our love.

So whatever changes you are facing in your marriage, you can be assured that your Heavenly Father is the same. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Amen?

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. ~ James 1:17

CHALLENGE: Consider some of the ways that your marriage has changed over time. Start counting the blessings that these changes have brought. Take a moment and write them down (and maybe share them with your spouse). 

Every Monday in September, these five bloggers and I will be offering a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage. I hope you’ll hop over to see each one of them!

Courtney Joseph of WomenLivingWell
Ashleigh Slater of AshleighSlater
Jennifer Smith of UnveiledWife
Sheila Gregoire of ToLoveHonorandVacuum
Darlene Schacht of Time-WarpWife

And here are the topics . . . .

September 1 – Embracing Grace 
September 8th – Embracing Change  
September 15th – Embracing Your Differences  
September 22nd – Embracing Unity 
September 29th – Embracing Friendship 

I hope you are being blessed and refreshed by our Virtual Marriage Retreat!

*Would you like to share a little of some of the changes in your marriage? How did you “embrace” those changes? And what are those things that never change in your marriage?

In His grace,

*If there is serious sin or trouble in your marriage, I’d encourage you  to seek out a trusted, godly counselor or leader in your church. You might also benefit from this specific marriage advice from Sheila Gregoire (a fellow blogger in this marriage series).

The post Those 7 Things That Never Change in a Healthy, Loving Marriage appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Six of the Best Blogs on Loving Motherhood

So when I started this whole Mom-Thing . . . 

I was nervous.  Excited.

And more than a little scared.

You see, I felt very ill-equipped to be a mom.

I’d never been one before and –  now don’t tell anyone this - I didn’t know what I was doing.

But I’ve learned some things along the way, now that I’ve been mothering for over 20 years. Some I learned from experience. Some I learned the hard way.

But mostly  I learned from mothers who had gone before.

I read books, articles, and magazines – anything I could get my hands on that would help me become a better mom.

And now we have this thing called blogs.

Advice and encouragement is only a click away!

I don’t know about you? But I don’t have tons of time to search out, try out, and figure out what’s the best. So I thought today I’d share with you some of the best blogs I’ve found on loving motherhood.

*These are all blogs which share from a Christian perspective and which focus primarily on encouraging motherhood (rather than a variety of topics). You can “click” on either the title of the blog or the image and it will take you directly to each one. 

The 6 Best Blogs on Loving Motherhood
Pint-Sized Treasures

Mom-to-mom encouragement for your journey in motherhood.  Alison, the mother of six beautiful children, offers all kinds of encouragement and ideas!  She will inspire you with her articles on parenting, recipes, crafts, devotionals, pregnancy and more.  I always leave her site feeling fresher and lighter than when I arrived. 

The Busy Mom

Real encouragement and honest discussion about life as a busy mom. The mother of 7 and grandmother of one,  Heidi St. John is a popular speaker and author who offers humor and refreshing honesty in all her communication.  She writes on balancing life as a busy mom, as well as help for homeschooling and loving God’s Word. You can count on Heidi to speak straight to ya and I love that about her!

Joyful Mothering

Discipling mothers and helping mothers disciple their children. Christin Slade is also the mother of 7 children (two recently adopted from Ghana!) and her heart for children and the Word of God is a definite blessing to me. This was one of the first blogs I followed when I started blogging. I especially appreciate her series on “Moms in the Word”!

The M.O.B. Society (for Moms of Boys)

Finding delight in the chaos of raising boys, and raising a generation of men to love the Lord. If you’ve got boys, the MOB Society is great place to go!  Erin Mohring and Brooke McGlothlin co-host this site FOR Moms of Boys, By Moms of Boys. Brooke is also the author of Praying For Boys: Asking God for the Things They Need Most. 

Mothers of Daughters (M.O.D. Squad)

MOD Squad [mŏd/skwɒd] n Mothers of Daughters: Modern moms raising girls with timeless Truth, walking together. And if you have daughters? Here’s a place for you. Stacey Thacker, mother of 4 daughters, and others offer inspiration and practical truths that are applicable for girls of all ages. 

The Better Mom

Our mission is to build God-honoring homes by inspiring moms to be better moms through sharing life and learning together.  Not only have I been blessed by being one of the writers for TheBetterMom, I’m also an enthusiastic reader. It’s actually one of the few blogs that I subscribe to!  Ruth Schwenk and the women behind these articles are genuine, godly ladies and I’ve personally benefited from the wisdom and encouragement offered there. You’ll find a wide variety of topics and interesting articles over there each day.

So I hope you find all of these resources helpful and insightful!

But before I close - more than anything - I’d encourage you to spend time seeking God and looking in His Word FIRST.

Because nothing, nothing, can replace or improve on the wisdom and refreshment that comes from God above. 

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. ~ II Tim. 3:16-17

I’m so thankful to be walking with you through this whole Mom-Thing!

*Please share your favorite(s) blogs on mothering, or feel free to share your own blog if you’re a blogger as well.  I’m very interested!

In His grace,



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5 Good Reasons Why Cleaning (yes, cleaning) Actually Matters

My hands were black with dirt as I came in from the garage, and I headed straight for the shower, after telling my son I was sure there were 10 spiders in my hair.

Perhaps an exaggeration, but I couldn’t help but have the creepy-crawlies after sweeping that many spider webs out of the corners.

The garage had been driving me crazy for months, so I tackled it. In several hours of hard work, I had the freezer defrosted, a huge mound of stuff taken to the church garage sale, shelves tidied, and floor swept.

As I swept the last pile of dirt into the dustpan, my thoughts went to the comments of two women I had heard from the day before.

One was a young mom almost despairing of what possible good purpose wiping snotty noses and mopping the floor could be doing in this dark world.

One was an empty nest mom who was struggling to find the why in doing housework without the children around.

I had been trying to find ways to encourage these two friends but was having trouble.

Why clean?

Why toilets and sweeping and laundry and dishes –the same day after day?

Looking around at my now gloriously clean garage, I thought of the expression, Cleanliness is next to godliness, but this time I gave it serious consideration.

Is cleanliness next to godliness? If so, why?

Will you allow me to entertain a yes to that question and throw out some reasons why the job of keeping things clean is a holy activity?

Five Reasons Why Cleaning Matters:

1.     The good news of Christ is that the dirty can be made spotless. The black-as-night heart can be made white as snow. Every time we clean our homes we show ourselves and our families and every guest that redemption is a possibility.

2.     The good news of Christ is that chaos can be brought into order. Our lives were a disaster until Christ came in and swept out the corners and sets things right. Every time we neatly put things away in a cupboard or fold a towel with corners matching we mimic what God can do in the human heart.

3.     The good news of Christ is that we are invited into the kingdom of light. Every time we dust an end table we admit that light reveals everything. Every time we clean a window we express an awareness of the goodness and warmth that light brings.

4.     The good news of Christ is that he came to serve us, to give us life. Every time we clean we serve those who enter our homes. We demonstrate how important they are to us.

5.     The good news of Christ is that our troubled hearts can find peace in him. Every time we clean we create an environment of comfort and peacefulness, a refuge from a messy world. We say, as Christ did to us, Come. Rest.

Keeping a shiny home is mundane work that seldom receives accolades, but it is important for more than just meeting health department standards or for gaining your mamma’s approval.

A clean house preaches a sermon of hope.

So grab a broom, sister. It matters.

As for me, I have a smelly toilet ring to tackle.

Christy Fitzwater is a pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She is the mother of a son in high school and a daughter who was recently married. She enjoys when the days get shorter and the weather nasty so she doesn’t feel guilty about not going outside. Days where she can just read books and write words all day. She can even tell you the plots of 15 missionary biographies without batting an eye. You can read her personal blog at ChristyFitzwater. Also find her at Pinterest and Twitter.

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What Your Child Wants Most From You

Not everyone knows this about me.

But I love making bread.

I’m not sure what it is, but for some reason I find the process incredibly relaxing and rewarding – maybe even downright therapeutic.

There’s something about grinding the wheat, mixing and kneading the dough, and baking the loaves. It reaches deep down inside me.

So right and good for my soul.

Yet there’s this one problem.

My kids love making bread too. With me.

And I hate to say it, but this changes the experience for me - significantly.

Because when I have my little helpers?  I’m no longer unwinding or getting lost in the wonder of it all.

Instead, I find myself distracted by their wiggly fingers and chattery words. The mess, the mistakes, and the mayhem. My nerves are inevitably on edge by the time the loaves are tucked safely in the oven.

No, it’s definitely not the same experience at all.

So what to do?

I’ve a difficult decision to make: Should I minister to my own soul . . . or pour into theirs?

A real dilemma.

Because I’m aware that if we do this together, our children will probably remember it forever.  They’ll remember sinking their hands into the warm, sticky dough. Kneading and forming each loaf. Trying to follow my hands and copy everything I do.

They’ll never realize that it cost me much.

They can’t understand how it changes everything.

Th ey’ll not know that  I g a ve up  some of  my own soul-feeding moments to nourish their own.

To be honest, I’m always surprised by their enthusiasm for baking bread. I’ve tried suggesting they go build with their Legos. Or go outside and play on the swing. Maybe they’d like to watch a favorite movie?

But, no, nothing seems as pleasant as making bread with mama.

Funny, huh?

It’s really quite strange when you think about it.

Why wouldn’t they rather run along and play?

Why do their small hands seek to be so close to my own?

And why won’t they stay in their own little world . . . so that I can enjoy mine?

I think as moms we can be so caught up with giving things that delight our children – toys, crafts, treats and games – that we forget what they really want from us.

They want to be part of our lives.

They want to know what it is that we love, and learn to love it too.

They simply want to be with us.

So welcome your children into your world. 

If you have a passion for gardening…or reading…or writing…or design….then share it with them too.

Invite them to come alongside and place their young hands next to your own.

Their heart next to yours.

After all, it really is good for the soul.

Both yours and theirs.

*So what kinds of things does your child like doing with you, or alongside you? I’d love to hear it!

In His grace,





*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

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The Power of Grace to Hold Your Marriage Together

So strange.

So strange that it would be one of the first things they told us.

Stranger still, perhaps, that this is what continues to stand out in my mind. Out of all the things that the doctors at the hospital shared with us, that this statement would be the most memorable.

“Most parents who give birth to this kind of child end up in divorce. We just thought we should prepare you for that.”

Yeah, thanks.

It was like hearing two pieces of devastating news.

As if one wasn’t enough.

The first news was that our sweet baby had suffered a massive stroke before she was even born. She would likely never walk, talk, or know us as her parents – if she lived at all.

The second was that our marriage would not likely endure the tragedy of it all.

More news than a couple should have to take in at one time, wouldn’t you say?

Basically, “This is the beginning of the end.”

I glanced over at my husband with desperate grief and fear in my eyes.

But he wasn’t having any of it.

No way, Babe. We’re not going to take the “likely” path, you and me.

We serve the God who continually surprises us with the unlikely. The God of miracles. The Restorer. The Redeemer.

And He is more than able to hold us together.

So how did we get through the years that followed? Those pressure-filled, emotionally, physically, and financially draining years?

The grace of God.

Grace from Him and grace for each other.

And you can cling to that same grace as well—in both the good times and hard times.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. ~ Heb. 4:16

The Power of Grace to Hold Your Marriage Together

Grace that offers compassion. When the other person is weak. Sometimes I was too tired to see straight. Or even talk sweet.  He overlooked that snap because he knew I wasn’t “myself” from fatigue and worry.  And I tried to do the same for him.

Grace that doesn’t keep a grudge. He said things that hurt my feelings or made me feel like he didn’t really understand. He let me down and didn’t always hold up. And it was the same here. But we knew we needed to let it go and not let bitterness settle in.

Grace that goes the extra mile. At times each of us had to give more than we had—and certainly more than “our fair share”. We couldn’t keep records or simply take turns. We had to learn to give . . . and then give some more.

Grace that accepts the gift of others.  Grace also comes in the form of support from friends and family. We can’t do this by ourselves, but recognize that we are needy. We are part of the body of Christ for a reason and were never meant to walk alone (More here: On Why It Is So Critical To Connect With Friends).

Grace that doesn’t give up.  No matter how dark some days were – and especially the nights – we refused to give up. We believed God had us in His hands, even when the situation seemed impossible. You are in those same loving Hands.

So, yes, our marriage held together. By God’s grace, we will be celebrating twenty-two years this Friday!

And if you’re wondering what happened to that dear little girl of ours?

She is a miracle. While it’s true she never did learn to walk, she can definitely talk…and talk. She calls me mommy and says how much she loves me.

She prays for us and for this blog. Every day.

And so in a very real sense, she prays for you too. All because of unlikely grace. Powerful grace. 

The same grace that  is available to you too.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us,even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ~ Eph. 2:4-7

CHALLENGE: Before you can extend grace to others, the best place to start is with the preparation of a pure and tender heart. Pray, asking God for wisdom and guidance in this area. Think of how God’s grace has impacted your life, and acknowledge the areas where you have been forgiven.

Every Monday in September, these five bloggers and I will be offering a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage. I hope you’ll hop over see each one of them!

Darlene Schacht of Time-WarpWife
Courtney Joseph of WomenLivingWell
Ashleigh Slater of AshleighSlater
Jennifer Smith of UnveiledWife
Sheila Gregoire of ToLoveHonorandVacuum

And here’s what you have to look forward to . . . .

September 1 – Embracing Grace 
September 8th – Embracing Change  
September 15th – Embracing Your Differences  
September 22nd – Embracing Unity 
September 29th – Embracing Friendship 

So mark your calendar and join us each week as we all share on these very important topics in marriage. And be sure and invite any friends who might be blessed by this event as well.

Looking forward to seeing you on Mondays!

In His grace,

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