S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 76

Change the Narrative

I don’t think I’m the only one who tells myself stories (and no, not because I’m an author). I mean the stories we tell ourselves about of lives and our Self. They can be labels, ideas, “evidence-based facts” or other, but there’s a lot of things that we just accept and believe about our lives that we never question because they come straight from our own mind.

Let me explain through my own poor narratives…

I’m poor

I used to believe I grew up in a poor neighbourhood but as I’ve grown older, I don’t see that as the case. My neighbourhood has a library, a community centre, a doctors and dentists, therapy facilities, a shopping centre, coffee shops, cafes, takeaways, an airport (though not really in my town but in the one by it), train station (again, not my town but the one over), and plenty of buses.

There’s graffiti and crime but it could be worse. None of my immediate family (that I know of) has been directly affected by crime *touch wood*. When I was young, I could play out in the streets, walk to my grandparents, call for my friends, ride bikes, climb trees, and stay out late. Now does that really sound like such a poor neighbourhood? Does it seem like I didn’t have what I wanted? What I needed? Was it dangerous due to poverty sending people to crime? No.

Yet I told myself as much for a very long time.

I’m socially awkward

The reason I said awkward and not anxious is because I want to relate this point to a few others in one neat section. I tell myself that I’m socially anxious, shy, not good with people, awkward, introverted, or just hate doing things and this is very toxic. They may be true enough, in a way, but that doesn’t mean that I should attach myself to this narrative. I believe that it doesn’t help my social anxiety to think about it so much and blame everything on it. It just makes it worse and gives it more power.

The same goes for my general introversion. If you are an introvert, be careful what you tell yourself about who you are. Yes, you may be introverted and that’s great; be you. But don’t decide that being introverted means you don’t go out or see people or do anything considered “extroverted”. Don’t attach to that narrative! You’re only limiting yourself and putting yourself in a box of your own lies!

I’m not as good

This is a big one as I do have low self-esteem. I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, fit enough, interesting enough and so on. There’s been times when I’ve said to myself “I’m not as smart as my brother, that’s a fact” and “I’m not as interesting as my sister, that’s a fact” and in doing this, I thought I was accepting the truth and therefore giving it less power over me. But it does the opposite!

One: intelligence, likeability, and beauty are all subjective. It depends on the person you ask, the situation, and other variables like that. Two: how does comparing myself to other people help me at all? Even “positive comparisons” where you say, “I’m not as smart as this person but at least I’m smarter than that person” still doesn’t help. It creates this toxic hierarchy. Instead, we must avoid comparison altogether (I’ll let you know if I ever learn how to do this!)

What I’m saying here is, I attached myself to these narratives of comparison. By doing this, I look in the mirror and don’t see a pretty woman, but I accept it. I have a conversation and feel I’m not impressively intelligent, and I accept it. I wear it and say “yes this is me and it’s not great but that’s how it is.”

WRONG!

Change the narrative. I’m beautiful, I’m intelligent, I’m interesting, to me.

I won’t go further into personal ones, but here is a quick list of narratives that you may have attached yourself to and may be limiting you on a regular basis:

I’m not a good learner
I can’t read/ don’t like to read
I don’t have money/can’t make money/can’t afford this or that
I’m ugly
I don’t like INSERT THING HERE
I can’t run
I don’t think I could travel alone
I could never do what you do
I’m not as brave as you
I can’t do maths, English, history and dates, science, etc.
I can’t do THING because of my ILLNESS OR DISABILITY (some)
I’m too busy/don’t have the time
I can’t make decisions
I’m not smart enough

We are in control of the narrative we choose to tell ourselves about our lives and who we are. Whether something has any truth to it or not doesn’t really matter, what you need to be careful about it accepting that truth too blindly. Or encompassing that truth and making it who you are without ever venturing away from it. Yes, I’m introverted; or yes, I have clinically diagnosed social anxiety, but that doesn’t mean I can’t go out and have fun and be around people and have a good time! I need to stop telling myself this every time I’m asked out!

So, now that it’s drawing closer to the end of the year, I want you to start thinking about the bad narratives you’ve told yourself in 2018 (and years before). Then, make a conscious effort not to bring those limiting narratives into 2019.

Your NaNoWriMo Toolkit

NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month and it is this massive worldwide writing event where writers from every corner of the globe all vow to write 50,000 words in the month of November! It is crazy, it is hard, and it is awesome! The camaraderie and support and community with this event is so beautiful and admirable that it makes the hard work worthwhile.

And this year, I am partaking for the first time and I would like to share with you some things to help you get started, and hopefully smash NaNoWriMo this year…

Your NaNoWriMo toolkit/survival kit:

Laptop – duh
Notebook and pens – double duh
Book’s plot and outline – out ready to check over
Story ideas and notes – pansters need ideas if you want to smash this event!
Post-it-notes and cue cards – don’t let ideas get lost
Inspirational images and Pinterest – for those moments of block
Character profiles – know who you’re writing about and the story will flow
The NaNoWriMo site – it helps you track your progress and you get badges for milestones
Scrivener – helps to outline, research, move things around and just yes!
Thesaurus – for quickly getting those good words down
Caffeine or energy-boosters – don’t let yourself fall off
Snacks – keep yourself alive!
Writing nooks and space – you will be a hermit for a month
Break times – don’t kill your brain (or eyes) by never breaking
Sprints and time slots – giving yourself allotted time to write and time to break works well for some
Inspiration for your narrative in things you read or watch – I’ve got a list of spooky dark shows, films, and books to keep me on topic, motivated, and inspired
Writing buddy – it’s better to do this with someone who’s doing it too (share the pain)
Cosy socks, hot beverages, blankets, dressing gown, jumper, PJs, scarves, candles – keep warm, guys, it’s November after all

Tips:

Do not read over what you’ve already written or stop to edit! There’s no time in NaNo!
Tell the people around you what you’re aiming to do, so that they stay out of your way or cheer you on.
Make time, and don’t let yourself be lazy.
When you can write a lot more, do, so that when the inevitable down days come, your word count doesn’t suffer
Take breaks and don’t forget to look after yourself, please
Push yourself and challenge yourself but don’t let the pressure get to you. Stress does not help the creativity to flow.

Remember that you’re a good writer. If this is your first time doing NaNo, or your first time writing a novel at all, don’t stress yourself out. NaNoWriMo is a great way to motivate yourself with a deadline and a goal, but don’t let it be your downfall. Use it positively, that’s all. Good luck, happy writing!

“Real Horrors” – Poem

You know what’s really scary?

Not prowling black cats,

Or mouse traps,

Or dead rats.

No.

What’s really scary

Is gunshots,

Black bodies,

And broken families.

Black lives matter,

But the scary thing is,

They don’t. Not to you all.

Do they matter to you?

What’s scary is,

The white child who

“Doesn’t need to learn

About black history“

And “why can’t we

Forget the past?“

That’s terrifying.

Easy words from privileged mouths – That’s scary.

You know what’s really scary?

Tight chests and heavy breaths,

Worn minds,

Filled to the brim with,

Every thought and black feeling.

What’s scary is,

Waking in the darkness,

Walking in the darkness,

Sleeping in the darkness,

Whilst it’s sunny outside.

Scary is the darkness,

Within.

Scary are the lies,

We tell ourselves every day.

To be afraid

Of yourself.

To trust nothing.

No one.

In a constant state

Of hopelessness and fear.

Lost.

Scariest of all,

Are the backs turned,

The scoffs,

The laughter,

The ridicule.

Even…the pity.

Scary are the phrases,

Insane,

Crazy,

Weak…

You know what’s really scary?

Seeking a better life,

Only to be made illegal.

Stolen rights.

Treated as a criminal.

Fear and loss each day.

Scary is the torn families,

PTSD,

And laws that mean

You are less than human.

Scariest of all,

are not demons,

Or beasts,

Or the night.

Scary is the day,

The people,

The leaders

Of our world right now.

The people who turn their back,

Hurt and kill,

Wrong and laugh,

As if it is the norm.

That is the scariest of all.

It’s utterly, perfectly, positively terrifying,

That the horrors that plague our world

Are real.

Not like ghosts and ghouls,

But real.

Oh, no,

I was wrong.

The scariest thing of all,

Is that you don’t care.

Not enough.

Never enough.

Thoughts on “The Hate U Give” Book & Film (Black History Inspired)

Yesterday, I finally got to watch The Hate U Give, the new Black Lives Matter film. Earlier this year, I read the book by Angie Thomas and loved it and was moved by it as well.

Let’s just say that the film had my heart aching in every way. And I truly hope that as many people as possible go to see it, if they don’t read the book. Because we all need to see this sort of thing. To feel it to our core because it’s not just a film, not just a book, but a real-life occurrence in America. Myself, my family, and my partner are lucky to be living in the UK, safe from reckless or downright racist gun use and violence.

So, about the narrative of the film, and the general narrative of when a black person is killed by a white cop, let’s discuss…

Firstly, it isn’t about hating white people or villainising them. It’s not about hating or villainising cops, either. The point is that there are some police (just like some people) who carry weapons or are in a position of power and use that to their advantage, thinking themselves above the law. Thinking themselves above the black person on the other side of things. The point is, in a courtroom, people are quick to believe the white guy or the white cop over the black person. Black people are hardly ever given the justice they deserve.

Another problem is the fact that their reaction would be different if it was not a black man from a certain kind of neighbourhood that they encountered. Too quickly do people believe that they “deserved it” or were probably dealing drugs etc and so they “brought it on themselves”. Even if the person killed is a drug dealer, they don’t deserve to be killed when they’ve done nothing wrong in that moment. And as the film highlighted, people in poor areas, who are judged frequently and shunned, feel that there is no other way out; not hope but to sell drugs. So, do the hopeless and lost deserve to be killed? Are we saying that we don’t believe in a world where a young black man can make a mistake and can’t ever redeem himself afterwards?

The fact that black people in America are afraid is disgusting. Starr’s dad coaching them on how to act if they’re pulled over is a chilling scene to read and a chilling scene to watch. And the thing is, it probably happens in many black households. They’re living in fear of the very people who are meant to protect them…that’s the point of the film…to help people realise how utterly awful that is to live with.

People think that it’s the person’s fault for running, or driving poorly, or arguing with the officer, or moving…but all of these things aren’t a big deal for white people. They don’t shake in fear when pulled over; hell, they’re pulled over less, anyway. They don’t get shot if they move. They don’t have to record their encounters. They don’t have to argue, and when they do, it’s never as bad. A guilty white man is treated better than an innocent black man…how does that add up?

Everyone having guns is downright foolish to begin with. And why are their cops so quick to “shoot to kill”? Why not shoot to maim? Shoot to warn? Shoot to stop them running? Why the chest? Why the head? Why so many shots? That’s what truly baffles me. Fair enough, say a cop really did fear for their life and thought they saw a gun, why do they have to kill to defend themselves? Are they so poorly trained that all they can do is kill?

And I may be ignorant, but the “shoot to kill” rule as self-defence seems only really a rule with black suspects, so…

And as far as I understand it, even if you accidentally kill someone, you should go to prison, right? Say all the cops who have killed black people did it by accident, why aren’t all of them sent to prison to serve a sentence? Isn’t that what Manslaughter is? No cop should be let off with no punishment at all.

If you watch the film and think it makes cops look bad, or white people for that matter, then I say read the book for clarification. I’d also say remember that Starr’s uncle is a black cop and he explained (in defence of the white cop) why they do what they do. And remember that Starr’s boyfriend is a white boy. Her friend who was racist was exaggerated in the film compared to the book as I remember it, but she was used as a way to show how white people can react to the news they hear about cops killing black people. And that was an important plot point to make, not a statement that white people are racist – remember that.

I hate that my word count is getting long because a topic like this can be discussed in a lot of detail. But hopefully, I’ve said enough to get you thinking.

See the film for what it is, an eye-opener. Emotional, real, raw, moving, scary, insightful, and important for America. Check yourself before you decide what you think about these subject areas…I don’t want to live in a world when my black children are seen as worthy of a bullet.

Discussing Black Representation & Life (Black History Month Inspired)

I’ve always written white characters because that’s what I was so used to seeing for myself. So, that was like the rule! I remember with the 3rd book in the Eternity Series, I put an Indian man in there and a black man and I felt good for doing it. But what did it matter when all the important characters were white?

But then, I admit, you worry about how to do it as a writer, too. Is this racist? Stereotypical? Inaccurate? Just plain weird? How can I write black or Asian characters without getting it wrong? It feels like a lot of pressure. This year, all my books have featured non-white characters as the main cast, but I have found myself being very careful with how I do it.

Only recently did I read a book with a black main character. This was The Hate U Give and then The Children of Blood and Bone. These books were written by two amazing black authors, and they finally opened my eyes to the fact that yes, a book can be amazing and have a black lead.

How sad is that? That I’m only just realising this.

I noticed maybe last year, or the year before, that only black or Asian characters have their skin colour or ethnicity described in books – because it’s not the norm in literature. A character is presumed to be white, but if they’re not, then their skin is described as dark or their hair is dreadlocked or they are “of Jamaican decent” (etc.). Isn’t this sad, too?

And I don’t even know much about my own history. It wasn’t taught in school. They taught us about the second world war about a million times, but not black history. It’s taboo, I suppose. Too difficult to discuss?

But why? It’s real. It hurt and it shaped our world just as much as the war – well, more so, because slavery lasted longer, so did the aftermath; heck, there are still some openly racist places out there.

We can’t just blame the education system, though. They may not have taught us, but what about our own curiosity? Our own ability to learn about black history? Do we young black people discuss our history enough? Or at all? Do we know the names of the giants who made our world a better place to live for black people? Are black parents teaching their black children about their heritage?

Not nearly enough…

How can we do better?

Ask questions; be curious! It’s good and encouraged that you ask questions about black history and black lives. Instead of getting upset or angry if a black person says “that was racist” or “that was wrong“, why not just ask them what was wrong with what was said or why it offended them. UNDERSTANDING! Ignorance is not your friend.

Black people: hating white people does not fix your pain; it does not correct the injustices; it does not fix our world. You can’t meet hate with hate.

Read, watch, search, ask – learn about the history that you’re so scared to learn about (whether you are white, black, Asian, or other). Black history is all of our histories.

Don’t assume you know anything about someone just because of their skin colour. This is 2018 and it’s time to wake the f*ck up. Skin colour, country, religion, or accents doesn’t mean anything at all. Simple. Done. End of discussion.

Educators: don’t just share one history or one side. If you are an influencer, educator, or parent, ensure that people know the history of black people. Make sure you know it, too. Speak about the amazing men and women “of colour” who have helped make the world a better place for black people.

“Positive stereotypes” can be just as harmful. Not all black people are: fast, like chicken, can cook well with spices, have skin or hair that you can touch, are strong, have big penises, are good at arguing, use cocoa butter, or any other that you can think of. Get rid of any preconceived notions right now.

Black is beautiful. Whoever said a black girl/woman or boy/man or other cannot be beautiful? I grew up feeling ugly compared to my white, blue-eyed, blonde-haired friends – but I was just as beautiful. Wherever these notions about black being less-than came from, I don’t know, but it needs to be abolished. Now.

The same goes for black being dumb. Bringing it back to Tomi Adeyemi as an example, she is the author of a New York Times Best Seller (Children of Blood and Bone), which will be made into a film, and she attended Harvard University. As if I even need to give an example, but she is a brilliant one among many. Black is beautiful, and so are their minds.

Creators of the world: put black people into your narratives. Heck, put Asians in there too! But do it right. Black people aren’t the funny, loud friend character; or the poor person; or the sassy angry girl.

They’re doctors, authors, artists, travellers, architects, entrepreneurs, fashion designers, directors, actors, accountants, teachers; pretty girls, smart girls, smart boys, pretty boys, popular boys, geeky boys, geeky girls, gay girls, gay boys, and so much more.

If you want to write an accurate narrative within our world, then you need these characters because open your eyes, black people are all of these things and more in our world.

I want it to be known that I recognise my ignorance. I am ashamed of myself for not knowing enough. I have “black history” listed on my list of topics to research. I have some books (but not enough). And I’m lucky to have my grandparents (who came over to the UK from Jamaica) with whom I can discuss this topic, too.

And I shall.

In this day and age, there is no excuse for ignorance.

So, what will you do?

Amsterdam Part 2: New Sights

Sexy vibes

There are sex shops, peep shows, live sex shows, clubs with prostitutes and more in the Red Light District. I think we expected this, but not to such a scale. In the daytime, it’s not so bad, but at night…oh my god. The streets were so jampacked, the people were drooling over the girls, people were lining up to see sex shows – it was crazy. I was dumbfounded that people travelled across the world to see naked people, sex, and even partake themselves.

Canal Ride

On the other hand, Amsterdam isn’t just sex and weed. It is also a marvel for it’s wonderful and abundant canals. Bridges line the streets, making for beautiful scenic autumn walks during our stay.

We did end up on a canal tour, where we were able to learn about the canals and ride along the gentle waters. It was a beautiful, though cold, experience.

The City

While on the canal tour, we were told about the “sinking houses” of Amsterdam, making for some misshapen buildings. Some of the houses were built so long ago that the water from the canals had made them start to sink! They have since had their foundations fixed, but the tops of the houses are all very different in some areas, which looks so quirky and cool. There are some houses that are in the water like in Venice, too.

The city was never dull. It was always alive. With the bikes, the scenes, and the parks where people were always playing or dancing or doing Tai Chi. There was nearly always street performers around, too, showing off their talents to a crowd of tourists. They were so enthusiastic, and their showmanship was commendable.

And interesting one was when we were watching a double-jointed man fit his whole body through a tennis racket (yeah, that happened), when a random parade of sorts came through the streets. The police blocked it off, and buses and trucks that were like parade floats came through the streets blasting music following by dancing youngsters. We couldn’t figure out what was going on, with pink flares in the air, dreadlocked people in mass, and music that you couldn’t help bopping to – but hey, it was random and fun, signature Amsterdam!

The last notable thing about their city life was the fashion and confidence. In my opinion, the majority of people (locals and tourists) were dressed so stylishly. They definitely dressed better than the people in my area, that’s for sure! When we were sat on the benches in the park, I would people-watch and admire their long coats, military boots, multi-coloured tees and jumpers, and just embellishments that take confidence. I hope I can be brave next year and dare to dress like the Dutch!

Adrenaline and Thrills

In the hope of saving money, myself and Patrick decided we wouldn’t pay for another night in our hotel because we had an early flight the next morning. And so, we stayed overnight in the airport. Luckily, Amsterdam has the best and biggest airport that I have ever been to.

Beforehand, though, we concluded our trip with something very…scary! No, not Halloween scary, but sick-to-your-stomach scary! Amsterdam is home to Europe’s Highest Swing. It is on the A’dam Lookout and is 100m high. We rode in a super cool elevator that had strobe lights flashing – not at all helping my anxiety at the time. We reached the sky bar, which provided a 360 view of Amsterdam at night.

Patrick had a drink and was calm (or so he appeared) but I was very anxious. It had been my idea from the beginning to go on the swing, but I was having second thoughts! In fact, I was hoping Patrick would forget about it…but no, the canal tour reminded us both about it (which I saw as a sign from the universe that I had to do it, and it would be fun).

Thank you, universe, because it was awesome. Terrifying, sickly, way too high, and so not safe – but totally awesome!

We were on there for like a minute, yet all day I was so nervous. *slaps forehead* Queuing up, you could hear the springs that pushed the swing, and it terrified me. I was looking at the structure, thinking about the tall building, and cursing myself for doing this to myself!

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But as I say, I’m so glad that we did it because seeing the city lights, feeling the wind, having the canal beneath us…god, it was wonderful. Is there anything better to remind you that the world is truly limitless?

Thank you, Amsterdam, for helping me lose my “get high” virginity, showing me some beautiful scenes, teaching me that taboo subjects needn’t be taboo, and giving me the opportunity to look at things from a new perspective. I feel revitalised, creative, and ready to smash the end of this year!

Amsterdam Trip Part 1: High Vibes

Hotel Luxury

The flight to Amsterdam last week was easy-breezy. It’s for this reason that my boyfriend and I said we will definitely be going back more than once. As soon as we arrived, we fell in love. We loved the bikes, the public transport, the leaves and pumpkins all around, the misshapen buildings, the walkways, and more.

The hotel, once we navigated the public transport and found it, was beautiful. Autumn leaves clung to the front, there was a giant pair of clogs in the entrance, and the receptionists were delightful. The room itself was a perfect size, had a good TV, and the bathroom was luxurious.

Bikes Galore

Anyone who has been to Amsterdam should say the same thing: there are bikes everywhere. Cycling through the city is an integral part of living. They have set bicycle lanes on every road and path. They even have traffic lights specifically for the bikes! They also love scooters.

What was wonderful and crazy was the bike parking spaces, bike racks all around, bikes chained to the rails on bridges, bikes being pulled out of the canal, and bikes being ridden onto their ferries!

Sadly, we didn’t ride the bikes ourselves. We had the opportunity to, but we did chicken out a bit. But we have every intention of going back, and then we will have to board a bike and experience Amsterdam from that point of view.

Space Cakes

Not everyone goes to Amsterdam for the…high, but we did partake. We don’t smoke, so we had the edibles. On the first night, we tried space cakes. I have to say, it is both so cool and so strange that they have “coffee shops” which is purely for the selling of marijuana!

Anyway, the cakes actually tasted nice. We did get frustrated, though, because they took a long time to kick in. I think it was at least 2 hours before we felt any effects, and even then it wasn’t obvious. But once it did kick in, I was giggling for ages about things that really weren’t that funny! I was zoned into the TV, dry-eyed and absent-minded.

The next two tries after that were not as good though, sadly. And the lollies didn’t work, either. But we did get mad munchies, urging us to order Uber Eats for Dunkin Doughnuts! *dribble*

I Amsterdam

Day Two, we visited the Van Gogh museum and the Erotica museum – yes, two very different museums! This was one thing that I loved about Amsterdam: it’s just so odd! Everything that is taboo everywhere else is not taboo at all in their city. They have a museum for everything, too: bags and purses museum, cats museum, museum of prostitution, sex museum, erotica museum, Believe It or Not museum, Weed museum, oh and Van Gogh, MOCO and Rijks museum… Great artwork met by the strange and sexual – makes sense!

the Ripley’s Believe It or Not museum was a fun, silly start to our museum exploration, and the Prostitution museum was our favourite. There was so much to learn, and getting an inside view of this work is truly…intriguing.

I Amsterdam sign

Red Lights

As we learned in the Prostitution museum, there are 290 red light windows in Amsterdam where sex workers work. When we first saw a sex worker standing in a window, it completely took us by surprise. We just turned a corner, and there she was swaying in front of us! I was taken aback but smiled none the less to show her I was OK with what she was doing.

After this, we saw many of them. They ranged from tall to short, old to young, pretty to not-so, and natural to cosmetically enhanced. Some people may find it weird that I was so OK doing this with my boyfriend – where he was obviously looking at semi-naked women who offered sex – but it was fine. I wasn’t thinking about Patrick at all, actually. I was thinking about these women. Were they OK? Was this a choice? Was it worth it for the money? Did they have normal lives despite doing a taboo job? How did they cope with being gawped at my strangers all day? Why do this?

But as a quirky “coffee shop” worker said, “you can do whatever you want, this is Amsterdam!”

Read part two here: Amsterdam Trip Part Two: New Sights

Black Authors to Read (Black History Month Inspired)

Here is a list of some truly inspiring, notable black authors and some of their works:
Oprah {I’ve read some}

Maya Angelou {I’ve read some}

Martin Luther King & Coretta Scott King

Malcolm X
Alex Haley – Roots: The Saga of an American Family

Tomi Adeyemi – The Children of Blood and Bone {I’ve read}
Nic Stone – Dear Martin

Roxanne Gay – Bad Feminist, Hunger

Angie Thomas – The Hate U Give {I’ve read}
Elizabeth Uviebinené and Yomi Adegoke – Slay in Your Lane: The Black Girl Bible {heard them speak at a talk and loved them so much}

Nicola Yoon – Everything Everything; The Sun Also Rises {I’ve read} 

Ta-Nehisi  Coates – Between the World and Me, We Were Eight Years In Power

Toni Morrison – Beloved (Nobel Prize and Pulitzer Prize winner)
Danzy Senna – New People: A Novel

Zora Neale Hurston – Their Eyes Were Watching God

James Baldwin – Notes of a Native Son (noble social critic)
Morgan Parker – There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyonce

Octavia E. Butler – Fledgling, Kindred, Wild Seed (Hugo, Nebula, and MacArthur Fellowship winner, first ever for science fiction)

Barack Obama
Danez Smith – Don’t Call Us Dead

Jesmyn Ward – Salvage the Bones, Men We Reaped, Sing Unburied Sing (multiple award winner)

Richard Wright – Uncle Tom’s Children, Native Son, Black Boy

Issa Rae – The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

Langston Hughes – The Weary Blues

Reni Eddo-Lodge – Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race {I own}

Ralph Waldo Ellison – The Invisible Man (award winner)

Nnedi Okorafor – Akata Warrior (Nigerian sci-fi/fantasy)

Colson Whitehead – The Intuitionist, The Underground Railroad (Pulitzer Prize winner)

Jacqueline Woodson – Brown Girl Dreaming, Miracle’s Boys, Feathers (award winner and ambassador)
Zinzi Clemmons – What We Lose
Patrisse Khan-Cullors and Asha Bandele – When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Live Matter Memoir

Jason Reynolds – Ghost, When I Was The Greatest, Boy in the Black Suit, As Brave As You

Henry Louis Gate Jr. – The Signifying Monkey (award winner)
Tayari Jone – An American Marriage
Lesley Nneka Arimah – What It Means When A Man Falls From The Sky

Kwame Alexander – The Crossover (award winner)

Amiri Baraka – Tales of the Out and the Gone
Gabrielle Union – We’re Going to Need More Wine
Tiffany Haddish – The Last Black Unicorn
W.E.B. Du Bois – The Souls of Black Folk (award winner)
Taraji P. Henson – Around the Way Girl {I’ve read}
Ishmael Reed – Flight to Canada
Kevin Hart – I Can’t Make This Up {I’ve read}
Morgan Jerkins – This Will Be My Undoing
Charlamagne Tha God – Black Privilege, Shook One
Alice Walker – The Third Life of Grange Copeland

These amazing women and men have written poetry, essays, novels, fiction, non-fiction, memoirs, and more to share their stories. Whether it is a story of the past, or a fantasy starring the elusive black main character, these are important works that deserve their space on our bookshelves and in our hearts.

My New Life Mantra

“I know I can trust myself” is my newly adopted life mantra. Because of this, I feel calm. It doesn’t mean that I need to trust in God, or the universe, or time, or something else out of my control. Instead, it means that no matter what happens, I trust myself to deal with it.

My car breaks down – I trust myself to know what to do and sort it out.

A loved one passes away – I trust myself to heal and continue living.

I fail to sell any books – I trust myself to keep trying and write something better next time.

No matter the situation, I trust myself to get me through it. I trust in my own strength, love, abilities, patience, heart, spirit, honesty, confidence, resilience, truth, and light.

I know I can trust myself to make my life worth living. I know I can trust myself to regain my strength after times of being weak. I know I can trust myself to face challenges and keep growing. I know I can trust myself to accomplish all that I set out to, and make a good life for myself and my family.

Now, the reason I am sharing this with you today is because I feel that this mantra is perfect for everyone. It doesn’t involve anything specific, and it can be applied to most situations. I feel like it can help a lot of people to simply put trust in themselves, if nothing else, in order to be healthier, happier, and better in themselves.

Remember that words have power and so do our thoughts. If we are able to practice the mantra “I know I can trust myself” or more simply put: “I trust myself” I believe that we can feel stronger, and get through anything.

Will these words fix your problems? No. Is this another awful “positive thinking is all you need to fix poor mental health” post? Absolutely not! But words go a long way in comforting us, and when we are less overwhelmed and can think a little more clearly, we are then able to find solutions to problems or make changes to better our lives.

To have a go-to saying or belief that helps us to focus and regain control, can go a long way towards our healing and getting up again after a fall. And of course, as a writer, I love words and I believe that the right ones can bandage our wounds.

So, what is your mantra? Do you feel that mine is a good one? Trust yourself, my friends, and all will be all right once more.

If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.

If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!

Films to Watch This Black History Month

Malcolm X
12 Years a Slave
Django Unchained
The Butler
Ali
I Am Not Your Negro
Selma
Hidden Figures
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Fruitvale Station
Moonlight
The Great Debaters
4 Little Girls
Belle
Get on the Bus
Straight Outta Compton
13th
The Help
Boyz in the Hood
Glory
The Color Purple
Fences
The Hate U Give (in cinemas soon, a must see)
Panther
The Rosa Parks Story
Roots
42
Cool Runnings
The BlacKkKlansman
Black Panther

Bonus! (TV show): Underground

There are many, many more but I didn’t want a list that was too long. I do however want people of all backgrounds to take more of an interest in historical films about the amazing black people. Their story deserves to be told, again and again, and we all need to listen. Learn from your history, whether you’re black, white, or Asian. We all could learn a great deal.

And if you are a storyteller or creative, share their stories, too. Tell the stories that are hard to tell, or at least include people from all backgrounds so that they can be the heroes of adventures, and so that young black boys and girls can look up to them and know that they can be heroes, too.