S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 12

Tropes and Themes We Love Reading and Writing – Podcast Ep. 6

Welcome back, Daydreamers! Today we get excited over all the tropes and themes we love to read and why we love to write them, too.

If you enjoy this episode, why not check out our other episodes and subscribe for more?

Our podcast is available on many podcast platforms, like Apple Podcasts. Simply search Don’t Quit Your Daydream to find us!

Is travelling for everyone?

I have agonised over this for a long time. I’m 28 and I’ve visited only 10 countries in my lifetime. Obviously, I’ve visited some more than once, but I think my count is just 10. By today’s standards, that’s low. My generation and younger are the TRAVELLERS! They have backpacked across southeast Asia and interrailed through Europe. They’ve done a road trip through North America and popped over to South America. And of course, they did a year in Australia! Not to mention safaris in Africa.

In the age of social media, it’s easy to feel behind, especially in terms of travel (for me, at least). It’s not just the glorification of travel by YouTubers and influencers, it’s my peers who seem to always be on a plane, too. And it’s not just the basic trips my peers are taking. I’ve seen images of them in India and Colombia and Montenegro and Morocco, these more obscure/ uncommon places. It’s seem long gone are the days when Brits only visited Spain or Greece or France!

It’s amazing that this is popular, really. That so many people feel able and curious about seeing and experiencing the world. It makes the world seem more accessible. It makes humans seem more alike than we are different. It expands our understanding of others and our perspective on life.

Leena Norms on YouTube did a great video about the sort of odd and potentially damaging ideas we have about travel so I won’t go into it here. Give that a watch if you are interested. But I feel, after recently returning from Greece, that I am questioning my urge to join my peers in traipsing across the globe.

Why do I want to travel? Why really?

I love seeing things outside of my normSee different animals in their habitatTaste new foods I love learning about other cultures and customs Experience things I can’t at homeHear other languagesSee how other people liveIt’s a status symbolEscape my routine I want cool stories to tellTo enrich my mind and lifeTo be coolIt can be funKeeping up with the JonesesMy sister is a traveller so I feel in competition I love watching documentaries in other countries or reading books set in other countries

As I sit here writing this post, I can hear a plane taking off. We live near the airport so this is a regular thing. And I just feel worry! The reality is, and I’m just realising this all over again, travelling isn’t for everyone. Most people may say they want to see the world but the truth is, we all won’t. Not even my generation or the ones to come after mine.

Just like anything else, travelling is something that some people are good at and enjoy immensely, while others are bad at it and don’t enjoy it at all. Hard to believe, but it’s true.

Elements of travelling that you can be bad or good at:

Packing everything you need into bagsGoing through security without delay or panicSpeaking another language Knowing what you are going to eat / not worrying about food abroadNavigating a foreign space / using maps or asking for directions in another language Using public transport in another countryKnowing what to do and where to go to maximise the enjoyment of your short tripHaving a unique experienceSaving enough money / not going into debt to travel FLYING! / being trapped for hours and hours with no windows open and freedom to do what you want

In reality, travelling can involve a lot of worrying and rightly so. Making sure you have all the right documents, not getting into trouble or offending someone by mistake because you don’t know all the rules of this country, the claustrophobia of being on the plane, and rushing to use the time you have there.

I am drawn to the slow travel movement. Taking my time in a place. Not feeling so rushed that you have to cram your experiences into a week. However, we don’t all have the luxury of slow travel (spending weeks or months in a place). We don’t all have the luxury of travelling at all, in fact. Working in a school means I can only take time off during the school half term holidays. Which happen to be the most expensive times to travel, too. This is very restricting. Once, this used to upset me. I wanted to find another job so I could jet across the globe at my leisure but the reality is, for me, I don’t enjoy travelling as much as I’d like to.

GASP!

It must annoy my husband that I’ve cried over our lack of travel experiences and needing to go here and go there only to do a 180 and decide, Meh, travelling isn’t that important! I’m sorry! I think I’m just accepting who I am and the position I’m in right now.

Yes, I wish I’d traveled more in my early twenties. Travelled more as a kid, even, so maybe I was used to it and it didn’t effect me so much like it does now. But I can’t change the past. My circumstances were different to some other people who have had the opportunity to travel more than me and that’s okay. Now, yeah I’m 28 but so what? That’s still so young! I plan to look after myself and my body so that I can still travel into my 70s or even 80s like my Nan did. Yeah I won’t be backpacking or scaling mountains at that age, but I can still “see the world”. I can’t still have a long list of travel opportunities across a lifetime.

This means I don’t need to panic and try to fit in lots of experiences by a certain time. Even if I have children, they won’t stop us travelling unless we decide they will. So I have 40-50 more years of travelling in me (hopefully I live that long!). Even if I go away once a year to a new place, that’s a lot of the world I will have seen. Not all of it, but who cares? A lot of people who will be able to say they’ve been to every country or 60+ countries by the time they’re 30 years old won’t have actually experienced that place in depth. Maybe they sat on the beach or at the hotel pool in Mexico or the Dominican, but have no idea about the culture of those countries. And if that makes them happy, great! That’s them living their life. But I need to accept that there is no score sheet here. That their 60+ countries doesn’t have to mean much to me personally. It’s not a reflection on me and my inability to experience the world or live a fulfilling life.

I want to watch films set in other countries, created by non-English speaking people. I want to read so many books from around the world, translated for my enjoyment. I want to cook meals for us from around the world, too. This is my way of experiencing and understanding the world around me. And I think that may go further than jetting off abroad without knowing anything about the country other than it being the next one on an arbitrary list. Or because I want to have a cool obscure place to brag about having visited. I’m not saying that’s what other people do. I’m saying that’s how inauthentic my “need for travel” has been. It’s about a list and trying to tick off countries that sound cool, not places I even know a lot about. All to compete and compare and that’s just sad for me.

I like my home. I like my life. And I think if you do, there’s often less of an urge to escape it. And let’s be honest, that is often the case. We want to escape our mundane lives so we go abroad. And that’s normal. That’s okay. But maybe we can also make room for asking ourselves why we want to escape so much. What’s wrong with where we live and what we do here? What could we change on our home soil to make this a better place to be? The UK is known for being grey and a bit boring but people not from here still love to visit! So we do have things to offer it’s just they are our norm, so they seem boring or ugly to us.

The grass isn’t necessarily always greener elsewhere.

Our trips abroad may fill our cups, expand our horizons, teach us something new, and show a beauty unknown to us but don’t mistake that for life being better out there. That super cheap trip you had in Southeast Asia is often because that country struggles financially and was probably disturbed deeply by colonial rule (but I won’t get into that and get it wrong or offend). Alas, we might be able to find something beautiful right here where we live.

If you’re like me and you feel in competition with others to travel the world but you don’t think you’re good at it and it just brings you anxiety, or you can’t afford it, then I hope you feel less alone in that feeling now. I invite you to delete your travel to-do list like I have and just plan the trips you really, truly want with authenticity and excitement.

I want to go to Japan. I know that for sure. It’s the one country that calls to me. A place I know things about from watching anime and having studied the Japanese language for two years. So I will go there. But everywhere else? It can wait. I’ll get there or I won’t. I’ll plan each trip carefully so I go feeling like I know the place already and therefore I feel more comfortable and excited and ready. I won’t offend because I’ve learned. I won’t make them speak my language because I will make the effort to speak theirs. And I’ll see real culture and beauty, not just a tourism-focused snapshot that’s curated just for foreigners. Again, it’s difficult and there’s nothing wrong with a tourist being a tourist! It’s just a complicated situation that I feel drawn to question a bit lately. If we’re just going over there and being fed some processed version of a culture, how real is that? How fair is that? But is there even an alternative anymore? Is it safe to venture away from the tourist spots? And when tourism is some countries’ greatest source of income, does it even matter? And with the rise in travel, are we contributing to the emissions destroying our planet and is that okay just because we want to see the world? I don’t know.

Travelling is, like most things, a lifestyle choice. Where you go, why you go, if you go at all and what you choose to do. People living in poverty aren’t worried about seeing the world. They’re worried about where their next meal comes from. It’s a privilege to travel and that’s something I need to remember. And let’s not pretend the difficult parts aren’t there. I’m not saying that because I get very anxious when travelling that I won’t go abroad anymore. Or that it’s not my personality to be comfortable with it so I shouldn’t do it. Of course not! But I am being way more intentional and considerate about my travel decisions and consciously trying not to compare myself to those who clearly find it easier than I do (financially, mentally, socially, emotionally, personality-wise, etc).

Where are you off to next or where have you just returned from? Let me know in the comments.

Sincerely,

S. xx

How to Cope With Setbacks in Your Writing – Writing Podcast Ep. 5

Welcome back, Daydreamers! Today we are talking about something we all face during the writing process, setbacks. We are all going to fail. We are all going to hit hard points. This episode is for those who have hit a low point or are struggling to write. We are here for you, we get it, we’ve been there!

If you like this episode, check out our others and subscribe for more!

Our podcast is available on many podcast platforms, including Apple Podcasts. Simply search Don’t Quit Your Daydream to find us!

Finishing your novel and feeling unsure about it

Last week, I finished writing another novel. Yay! I feel really good about this one. It’s definitely my strongest work and I felt sure I would pursue it for publishing.

Now, I’m not so sure…

Debut considerations

Even though I have self-published three books in my early twenties, this next book will be my official debut through traditional publishing. It’ll be the one I’m known for. And while a debut doesn’t need to be your best work (it’s most likely not going to be, as we should all aim to only get better and better), it still feels important to consider what your first novel is going to be.

Do I want to put out the first in a series or a standalone?

Do I want to tackle heavy themes from the get-go or something lighter and less pressure?

Who do I want to be as an author and so what message will my debut book say about me and my work?

A lot of pressure there! And I know a lot of people would say I shouldn’t stress over these details. That they may not matter. And that’s true. But also, they could matter and they aren’t to be ignored. There’s expectations and professional considerations here in terms of a debut, especially if it’s part of a series. You will be expected, of course, to continue putting out high quality books in that series. Or, if it’s a certain genre, publishers may expect more of the same so it’s easier to sell your work to a specific audience.

Not like other novels?

There are no 100% original ideas anymore. Nearly everything has been done in one form or another. You may do it in a new way that’s exciting and original, but the general idea or themes will have been done before.

However, if your novel is TOO similar to another (especially popular or acclaimed books), you have to be ready for your novel to be constantly compared to it.

My novel is similar in themes and the magic system to one popular novel that was released last year. I haven’t read it yet, but I do have it on kindle (I aim to read it asap so I can compare our novels myself!). It’s also similar to the story my best friend is writing. Vastly different, but some similar ideas in there.

This can be a big deal. Do I want this comparison? Do I want to try and publish a novel so similar in theme and magic to another well-known novel that’s been recently published? Will publishers turn me away specifically because it’s “been done already”? Or could this be to my favour, where people seek more books like that one and so they would like mine?

Of course, by the time I get an agent, edit the novel with them, get a publisher, edit with them, and publish, it will be years after the publication of that other book anyway. However, like I said, if it’s so popular, people will remember it!

Shiny new idea syndrome

It’s easy when you finish a novel to write THE END and then think “right, what’s next?” I sort of felt this way. In the week and a bit since I finished this novel, I have outlined and dove deep into another story idea! I feel I could write this other book in another world really soon.

I am waiting 3 months (at least) before editing the novel I finished this summer. Abbie Emmons (an author and youtuber I recommend you watch) suggests this to help be objective about your work when editing. Makes sense. And so, I have time to write something else before deciding how I feel about that one, without feeling guilty.

However, shiny new ideas can steal our attention. They distract us from the task of either finishing what we started or in my case, improving what I have already.

Themes could be handled better

A big one that is concerning me at the moment is that my book is based on real social and historical issues of our world. Colonisation, damaging cultures and erasing language. Heavy stuff! I’m now asking myself a few things.

Am I the right person to tell this kind of story?

Have I handled such serious and difficult issues correctly?

Could I tackle or explore these issues in a better way?

Is it too surface level and not deep enough?

When exploring heavy themes, it’s important to ask yourself why you want to tackle them in your novel. “It’s cool!” isn’t really a good enough reason for difficult themes that will get people thinking critically about our world and maybe their own lives, too.

It’s also important to ask yourself if you’re doing it well enough to do it justice. Surface level references or poor and ignorant handling of topics can be damaging. And even if, like me, it’s set in a fantasy world, people will (and rightly so) liken it to our world and have something to say about it.

That’s scary!

It can be daunting to have such a task on our hands and that’s why it’s important for me to ask myself if I really can do this well and if I even should. To ask why I want to do this in the first place. Is it authentic? Am I willing to do the research to educate myself? Can I back up my choices and justify what I’ve written? Am I willing to be grilled about the content of the story by readers who are intrigued or concerned by the subject matter?

Perfectionism

This is key, too. Some of us never put our work out into the world because we’re too worried about getting it perfect. Many people could read the novel I’ve written (even before I edit it to make it better) and think it’s good work. But I could look at it and edit it time and again and still never feel it’s good enough to pursue publishing. This is perfectionism. It’s paralysing and gets in the way of sharing our art with the world.

It’s crucial to bear this in mind to ensure I am not self-sabotaging by not pursuing the publication of this novel purely because I’m scared.

Professionalism

Lastly, the other concern I have is whether my work is good enough! Simple and common. I don’t mean am I a good writer (because that’s subjective). I mean is it to a professional standard? Is is structured well enough? Do the characters develop enough? Are all the characters needed? Did I flip between places too much? Does it make sense?

All this can be fixed in revisions and editing. I haven’t done that yet so it’s not an issue. However, getting my story to a standard that’s professional is worrying for me. What if I can’t? What if my vision for how good this story can be isn’t something I’m capable of delivering?

This is all to say that finishing your novel is great and a lovely achievement – especially if it’s your first time. However, it doesn’t come with just sunshine and rainbows. There’s still a lot to consider before the story becomes a book. I am in that place right now.

I don’t want to put pressure or deadlines on myself at the moment, and so all I can do for now is write the next story and then read through and note any concerns or editing that the novel from this summer needs. Either way, I am so proud of myself for finishing another novel. Sadly, not all of our work will be up to scratch. Sometimes we will write things that were good, but not worth publication (for whatever reason). Or they just weren’t right in the end. At the very least, this book has been fun to write and helped me improve as a storyteller. I will be better for having written it. If I rewrite in another direction, this time wasn’t wasted. It helped me get to the point where the novel feels right in the end. And that’s all that matters.

Sincerely,

S. xx

How to Build a Magic System – Writing Podcast Ep. 4

Welcome back, Daydreamers! In today’s episode, we are talking about one of our favourite things, magic systems. The fantastical abilities of your people or world! Ever wondered how to make the magic believable and fun? We go into detail in today’s episode on what we like in magic systems and how we write our own.

If you enjoyed this episode and find us helpful, please like and subscribe!

(Our podcast is available on many podcast platforms, like Apple Podcasts. Just search Don’t Quit Your Daydream to find us!)

Slower and intentional living: I don’t want to be pushing for the rest of my life

I’ve spent most of my adulthood so far, ten years, worrying and stressing and panicking. I’m 28 and all I desire right now is not to be bettering myself. I know I’ve built content around this very idea over many years, but that doesn’t feel right to me anymore. Not right now, anyway.

Because whether you consciously think it or not, wanting to better yourself and your life means you are usually looking at who you are and what you have from a place of discontent. Maybe you’re not unhappy or you don’t hate yourself, but you’re likely not quite satisfied. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be happy and still want more for yourself. That’s a healthy way of progressing in life.

However, for me, I just don’t want to optimise and strive right now. I’m craving autopilot. I’m craving peace. I’m craving slowing down.

For ten years, I’ve panicked that I didn’t have romantic experiences and so I was behind. I didn’t have a university degree and so I was behind. I didn’t have a good job so I was behind. Didn’t make enough money so I was behind. Haven’t travelled so I was behind. That I had to get myself okay with full time work, studying later in life, moving out, getting a house, on and on. All this pressure. All this panic. It’s just not been good for me.

I’m not alone. I think this is a regular symptom of our twenties. However, people will sooner talk about your twenties like this amazing time in your life where you’re free and young and fit and can travel and experiment and oh what a joy!! But it’s not like that for most. I wasn’t like that for me. It’s been a time of depression, anxiety, feeling less than, and hating everything I do and am. It’s feeling like no matter what you do, it’s not good enough.

Lately, my big fret has been travel. That I haven’t travelled enough in my twenties. That I’m behind my peers. That my sister will be the cool one who has visited many countries and now has stories to tell. But without going into detail and wasting your time, I’m slowly realising that travel is glorified and there’s very little deep thinking out there about it – from what I’ve seen. That yes, it’s important and fun and helps you to gain perspective and widens your worldview, but it’s not all ease and joy.

Travel costs money, even if you do it the budget-friendly way. It takes time and energy. Oprah’s book on trauma mentions how travelling is very stressful and tiring for the brain because you’re met with so much new information that it’s overwhelming and unsettling, even if you don’t know this consciously. Not everyone has the opportunity to travel often, the finances, the health, the mentality, the personality, the convenience. It’s just that simple. My sister has a more adventurous personality than I do, more money than I do, an adventurous partner and a job where she can take more time off. Simply put, she’s better equipped to travel, and that’s okay.

What I’m coming to accept is that the things I think I want might not be for me. The things I’m stressing myself out over are not all sunshine and rainbows. That cultivating a place of peace and acceptance within oneself is vastly more important than fulfilling an arbitrary checklist put on us by society. That it’s okay to move at my own pace, look within, and make choices from a place of authenticity and integrity and joy and peace – not a place of panic and comparison.

We booked a trip to Greece this summer and while I’m sure it will be amazing (we haven’t gone yet at the time of writing this), I also know we couldn’t really afford it during the busiest and most expensive time of year to travel. While yes, we kind of booked it because we deserve a break (especially my husband) and I finished university and we were like “screw it, let’s go!”. But at the same time, I quickly began to regret it. I won’t get personal here but in a nutshell, this has reminded me how much I am lead by comparison and the fear of missing out. I didn’t want to be the only person who doesn’t go abroad this year and so I felt pushed to go. Is a holiday nice? Needed? Good? Absolutely! But for the right reasons, at the right time, and only if it’s appropriate and comes from a good place. I’ve learned my lesson and that’s okay.

Mistakes either become a lesson and a ladder or a punishment and a pit.

Alas, I want to take my foot off the accelerator and coast a while. I’ve worked bloody hard over ten years of adulthood! I now have my degree. I have a full time job and better role at my workplace. I have a husband and a lovely dog. I have people I care about and who care about me. I am in such a good place with my novels and creativity. I’m in a good place with my physical health, routinely working out in my way. I have a counsellor to help me when I get low. I have techniques for putting things into perspective and getting up when I feel down. I read actively and learn new things all the time. I think I will be okay if I just ride this wave for a while. Not stressing and pushing and hustling and trying to “fix” and “perfect” and “optimise” everything.

New and only plan needed for a while:

Save the extra money we’re making Keep readingKeep doing yoga Keep cooking and trying new foodsKeep writing my novels and editing themKeep learning from a place of curiosity

Sorry for the ramble but it’s where my head is at right now. I think we live in a society that rewards hustling and always being on the go but doesn’t hold a slower pace to the same standard. That if you’re content with a simple life, you must be boring or missing out. I’ve feared that word and been triggered emotionally by it since I was a teenager: boring. But maybe it’s time I embraced it. Let myself be boring to others as long as I’m not bored myself! Let myself “miss out” on things that I just don’t want or need right now. Accept the varying paces of each person’s lifestyle and that social media may paint a fabulous picture, but even those with “amazing” lives aren’t necessarily as happy as I am. That while I may seek and feel upset by their external picture, they may be craving and desperately needing my internal reality.

Reflection, gratitude and letting it sink in era

I think this part of my life is about the reflection on what I’ve gained and achieved over the years of striving. This is a part of success and hard work that’s not spoken about enough. What’s the point in working hard if you can’t reap the rewards afterward? If you don’t take the time to appreciate what you’ve achieved and how far you’ve come? This is about being present. Living in the moment, not pushing for and dwelling on the future or lamenting the past (something I really need to work on). It’s having gratitude for everything you have that you once wished for. Letting all the good stuff sink in. I’m an introspective person by nature (duh, this blog is proof of that!), and so it’s time to introspection actively. To go inward and look around at the renovations that have been made over the years of hard work. How have I changed? Do I like what I see? Do I still believe old narratives or have I written new ones? To be successful in life, you need to make time to reflect like this so you can keep progressing anyway, otherwise you may fall victim to repeating old mistakes.

I wish happiness and peace on us all. If you needed it, let this post be permission for you to do as I am and relax a little. Let yourself just live as you are without having to constantly be pushing for something or feeling the need to tick things off.

Your life is not a to-do list or a bucket list. It’s life.

You’re okay. I bet you are.

Sincerely,

S. xx

What type of writer are you?

It’s important as a writer to know what kind of writer you are. (I mean this in terms of a story writer but it might be applicable to other types of writers, too). It can help you to optimise your writing process, set appropriate goals and expectations, and find your groove.

Night, day, morning, all

Knowing what time of the day you work best as a writer helps you to know when to schedule in your writing sessions. I work best in the mornings and so I know I need to wake up earlier so I can get my writing done before work or before my husband wakes up on the weekends.

If you’re a night writer, you know you need to go to bed a little later to get it done.

HOWEVER!!! Do not get rigid about this. Don’t decide “I’m a morning writer so unless I can write in the morning, I can’t write at all!” That’s silly, isn’t it! That rhetoric just holds you back from writing. Instead, treat this knowledge as you OPTIMAL time to write, not your ONLY time to write.

Sprints or marathons

Do you write better with a timer counting down or with as much time in the world? Some people need that visual timer and time constraints to push them to get going. Others feel panicked by this and need long stretches instead. Some people thrive on having a full day where they can set a routine and romanticise the process.

Lots of YouTubers have trialed the writing routines of famous authors from Neil Gaiman to Hemingway. What I got from watching some of these is that we are all so different, it’s just about trying many things m, experimenting, and seeing what works best for you.

HOWEVER!!! Once again, don’t get rigid about this. Just because something works with one story you write, doesn’t mean it will work in the same way with another story or at another time. People change. Energy levels change. Commitments change. Ideas change. Learn to adapt and be flexible and try new ways of working to optimise your writing habits.

Mood

Are you a mood writer? Someone who only writes when the muse takes you? Someone without a goal or a deadline but just likes to slip into other minds and other worlds when the fancy takes you? Awesome!

Are you someone who needs to set and manipulate the “mood” to be able to write? Setting the scene is a great way to get into the right headspace to write. I definitely benefit from setting the right vibe at times before writing.

Here are some ideas to set the mood for writing:

Playlist of music: find the genre or emotion you’re looking for to set the scene you’re writing eg sad music, whimsical music, battle scene music…Pinterest board for your story so you have the visuals of your characters and setting right there for inspiration Light a candle or use essential oils Wear an outfit that would fit the aesthetic of your story or world

Multiple projects

Are you a writer that can (and maybe must) write multiple stories at once? Some people benefit from having the ability to flick between characters, worlds, or even genre to keep them going with each story.

It would benefit you to have a routine with this, perhaps. Monday-Wednesday is one novel, Thursday-Sunday is the other? Mornings you could write one, evenings another? Or perhaps you just let the muse take you! See which takes your fancy each day!

HOWEVER!!! Warning, don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. Don’t keep flicking between them so much that you actually never finish any of them or they both come out poorly written because you didn’t concentrate enough. Some authors can manage this but others warn against it. Careful of “shiny new idea” syndrome where your attention is pulled by a new idea and you start on that one instead of finishing the one you’re on. Finish first maybe and then engage (of course take notes on the new idea so you don’t forget!).

Retreat for a while

You might be the kind of writer who needs to retreat for a while in order to get things done. You need space from the influence and distractions of the external world. This could mean booking time off work. Booking a hotel or Airbnb somewhere to write in for a few days (whatever you can afford). Maybe you delete social media until the novel is written. Tell your friends you can’t go out until it’s written. Be a hermit! This can help you to focus so in one way or another, if you’re struggling to write and finish I would suggest some of these. I’ve benefited from a writing retreat with my friends, no social media and the like.

Notebook or computer?

Some people love to write on paper only. I love writing on paper but my wrist/hand can’t take it! I do find a certain creative flow from paper and it’s very romantic and old school. If this works better for you, do it! Yes it doubles the work a bit, having to type it up afterwards but that’s an issue for later and if you write better sound it that way, who cares?

Genre hopper or stickler?

Some writers like to write in multiple genres or blend genres. A fantasy, then a literary novel, then a thriller, then a romance. That’s fine! It keeps them interesting and fun. And if you don’t yet know what you love to write, writing in multiple genres and to multiple audiences (children’s, young adult, adult) will help you to know the answer. It may keep you writing for longer, too, as sometimes people get tired of the formula expected for a certain genre and crave a change of pace. That’s fine! Do what works for you.

Hobbyist

Some writers just do it as a hobby. Do it for fun. They dip in and out and don’t worry about “taking it seriously” or trying to make any money. I think it’s sad that people tend to think everything you spend your time doing you just monetise and turn into a side hustle! No! If you enjoy writing stories as a hobby and just want to keep them for yourself and a few friends, then do that. Don’t let anyone make you take it more seriously than you want to. It is a great outlet, a fun hobby, and something we all could benefit from at some point.

HOWEVER!!! Maybe you need to get honest with yourself and ask yourself whether it’s a hobby because you genuinely want to just do it for fun, or because you’re scared to take it seriously and try to become published/ share online. You don’t HAVE TO publish or share, but please don’t let fear of sharing stop you from getting out there.

Wannabe famous

It’s okay if your goal as a writer is to be rich and famous. However, forewarning, this is incredibly difficult and out of your control. Everything else on the list we can manipulate and curate to suit us, but we can’t make commercial success happen. All we have control over is how we write, and writing. Then submitting it or self-publishing. We can’t make people buy it (we can market well but no one can force someone to buy). So this goal is good to keep you motivated to write and try harder and get going, but be careful that you don’t lose hope from a goal that’s out of your control.

If you want to be an international best-selling author then you need to take your writing seriously, it’s as simple as that. No laziness. No excuses.

Want to change the world

This one is an incredible goal for a writer to have but perhaps still outside of our control. However, it is a great one to influence what you write. You shouldn’t really be writing surface level, silly, unimportant stories if you want to change the world (that being said, we have no idea what the power of even stories like these can have on a reader!). You may instead want to ask yourself two questions to help you decide the theme and focus of your stories:

What do I care about/ what am I passionate about?

What does the world need/ what problems are there in our world?

When you know the answers to these, you can begin to understand what social, political, economic, environmental issues you have a passion for and insight into that you could put into your story either implicitly or explicitly.

Climate change Homophobia TransphobiaPovertyColonialism RacismClassismWarCorruption Wealth gapFeminism

Want voice heard

Maybe you just want to be heard for once. Maybe you think you have a unique perspective of the world and you need to share it. Maybe you’ve spend all of your life feeling unheard and unappreciated and through your writing, you feel able to speak. That’s wonderful. Whether you share your stories or not, become published or not, keep that power. Let your writing always be a beautiful outlet of expression for you.

The publishing industry is trying to diversify and so it is trying to take more OWN Voices stories. This means stories written by people of colour with characters who are people of colour; or disability representation; lgbtq+ representation. We need your voices, so please write and share your work so people hear about our experiences from us directly, but someone outside of our community/group assuming they know who we are or how we live.

Fill a specific gap

Writing to fill a gap in the market is admirable. But I feel like this is a lot of us even without knowing it. We each probably want to write something we wish to read. The advice goes that you should write the book you can’t find on the shelves. So you’re writing to fill a gap anyway, even if it’s just for you.

But if you see a gap in publishing, stories for a certain audience, a new genre mix, a topic unexplored, a character unwritten, or other, fill it! It might mean your story is unappreciated at first because publishing don’t know if they can sell it for a profit yet; but it might also take the world by storm! You never know.

Whatever writer you are, I hope you write with joy in your heart. With passion and purpose. If you know what type of writer you are, it can help you to focus, write the right stories, and get yourself out there.

Good luck!

Sincerely,

S. xx

How to Create Realistic Characters – Writing Podcast Ep. 3

Welcome back to our podcast, Don’t Quit Your Daydream. In today’s episode, we are talking about the most important thing: characters! How to create realistic characters that your readers will love. If you enjoy this podcast and you’re a writer, don’t forget to subscribe and share with your writing friends!

(Our podcast is available on many podcast platforms, including Apple Podcasts, not just Spotify. Just search Don’t Quit Your Daydream to find us!)

End of summer journal reflection

Funny how highly we regard summer. Like it’s this ethereal extra time and place where miracles can happen. I work in a school, so we get just under 6 weeks off for summer and I had high expectations for what I could achieve. I had a “summer progress plan” on my notion notes! And to be honest, things haven’t worked out that way.

I didn’t freelance write and find ways to make more money. I didn’t get really fit, doing Nike workouts multiple times a week and running regularly. I didn’t sell things around the house for some spare cash.

But I did do some other things, perhaps the most important things. I wrote my novel (finished at 88,000 words). Read a lot and started annotating books. Journaled. Did new yoga, advanced yoga. Saw friends and family. Had a writing retreat. Tried new foods.

Most importantly, I relaxed!

I think we forget that summer break is, well, a break. That it’s okay not to be super productive all the time. That just because the days are longer, it doesn’t mean we must fill every second of them doing doing doing.

It’s okay to breathe and be.

I think I’ve had the summer I needed, not the one I wanted. One of ease and relaxation, but also creativity and nurturing myself. I’ve taken care of my home (big cleaning sessions and Decluttering) and my body (meditation, yoga, some workouts, new food, sleep).

Going into autumn, I feel called to intentionally slow down. It feels like something I’m always trying to do!! My intentions for this year were to slow down. My focus on yin and rest and calm and gentleness. But that hasn’t been the case. And so maybe, I’m still crying out for that space to breathe. Not to expect anything from myself. To just be.

Trouble is, I always feel like I’m wasting time. That I’m not where I want to be in life (living as a best-selling novelist, yoga teacher trained, able to manage my own time each day, feeling at peace with my choices and life circumstance), and so I need to actively be taking steps towards that life I envision for myself. I don’t have the luxury to write and practice and do what I want each day. I have to work for a living and that takes it’s toll on everything else. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, my time is taken from me. I feel grateful to have a job and one I can enjoy but it’s still not my time to do what I want to do. And so, I feel really precious about the time and energy I have to spare. I want to use it to elevate my life and ensure that one day I can say I don’t need the full time job working for someone else. I can work on my passions and feel comfortable because I make a living my way for me and my family.

There’s so much pressure out there to succeed and have a certain lifestyle. I’m slowly beginning to discern what are my actual goals and aspirations versus what society and social media makes me think I want. I don’t want or need to travel everywhere. The actual travelling part is awful for me (hate flying, get scared of what I will eat, don’t sleep well, worry about filling the time, money restraints); it’s not for me. Not being gym fit and athletically strong. I don’t like the environment of the gym and am happier working out in my own space. I don’t need the flashy car or the house filled with random stuff I don’t need. I just want peace. Simple pleasures. A nice cosy home in a safe area with green space, good people, good food, good books and a space to write! As someone who’s felt stressed and anxious for most of my life, I am crying out for peace of mind.

What peace means is personal to each of us but that’s what I want. I don’t need to be a millionaire, but I do want to make a comfortable living from my stories. I want to have the free time and energy to train as a yoga teacher. I want to be able to see the world, in my own time, at my own pace. And I want to feel healthy in mind body and spirit. To be surrounded by good people who lift me up, not tear me down.

This is all to say that I feel pressure. I find it hard to sit still and do nothing. I worry about the ticking clock. And that’s why I wanted a productive summer full of progress. Why I haven’t listened to 2022 Siana who felt the need to slow down and go inward. Why I still feel called to slow down now for autumn.

With summer coming to an end, and going into the next season and the end of 2023, I am reminded of a few things. That it’s good to have goals and ambitions, but not at the expense of ourselves. It’s important to work hard but also to rest and play. That fighting for the future is pointless if you miss the present moment. Right now, my life is good. I needn’t keep working myself to the bone for a life that will come in the right time later. I have to trust that I’m doing the right things and that my dreams will come true later.

I am a writer. I write. I read regularly. I do yoga nearly every day. I walk a lot. I have dinner with my family each week. I spend quality time with my husband. I have a job. I have a home. I have a lovely doggy! I know how to own my mistakes and say I’m sorry. I know how to express my feelings. I know when to fight for myself. I cook good meals. I can run for at least 10km. I have clothes that make me feel pretty. I have friends. I have passions. I have opinions. I am educated.

Wow, how incredible is that? Past selves would be astonished. I once dreamed of these things.

So why freak out? Why rush? Why panic? Why miss this stage of my life trying to sprint to the next? There’s so many hurdles and obstacles to come with the life I dream of living so I need to enjoy the comfort and joy that comes with being right here. Like a character in a story or a game, I can’t level up and grow without learning the lessons at this stage first.

Trust that.

It’s okay to surrender. It’s okay to breathe. It’s okay to rest.

I invite you to reflect on your summer and your plans and where you’re at right now in life. Maybe you don’t need to panic as much as you think you do. I hope that’s the case.

(Please don’t compare your life to mine. There’s enough of that toxicity out there and it’s not needed!)

Sending you love.

Sincerely,

S. xx

Reasons why you find it hard to write a book / novel

Many people have the dream of writing a novel, but what separates those who do it from those who don’t quite manage? Here are some of my ideas as to why you may be finding it hard to write your book / novel and then I will go into some advice on how to make it easier for yourself!

You’re thinking of it as a book when you are only in the drafting stage You’re new to writing / haven’t practice very much You’re not a novel reader You don’t know your characters well enough You’re afraid it won’t be good enough so you’re already not on your own side You’re distracted by other people, your phone, television, and other things that shouldn’t need your focus You’re doing it because you like to read but writing isn’t actually for youYou compare yourself to others You’re not good at organising your time You struggle to focus in general or especially on a project of this kind There’s nothing driving you to do it / you don’t truly want it badly enough You’re a starter, but a finisher You don’t know people/ how people think or their motivations Too many ideas pulling your attention Your life is busy right now You’re overthinking it You’re a perfectionist (and cling to that title as if it’s a good thing when in actuality it’s a hindrance) You’re thinking too much about form and doing things “properly”You think it will be quick or easy and when something is hard you shy away from it

Just to explain a few of these points. Writing a book/ novel is hard. No matter how many times you’ve done it before, you can still find it incredibly difficult. I find it difficult in some ways. Times when I feel like I want to give up. But there are some conditions that make writing a book harder for some than others, as listed above (and many more than I couldn’t think of).

If your life is chaotic, you will struggle to write. Writing requires dedicated time to sitting down and getting words out. It’s not all ideas and cool characters. You need to make it make sense! So if you’re busy, overworked and tired, or doing this on a whim but you’re not dedicated, then you will struggle with writing your novel.

A lot of people say they want to write a book but the fact is, most people won’t. I’m not saying that to toot my own horn, but it’s simply a fact. Because again, it’s hard to do. People often read great books or watch great things and think, well I have a story idea, I’m going to write my own! And that’s awesome! We definitely need more variety of voices and styles out there on the shelves, so please don’t be put off. However, ideas are just ideas. They are plenty. Everyone could come up with a story idea, and some of them will sound amazing! But I know for myself that ideas I think are cool, just don’t have “legs”. In that, they don’t have a story in them that works. Or at least, a story in them that I can find and I can make work. And that’s okay. So don’t think that having a cool idea is all it takes to write a book.

First a foremost, you need to understand characters aka PEOPLE! Characters are people; they should feel realistic and emotional and have wants and needs and backstories and fears and relationships and triggers and all the things we do. If your characters don’t, they will be “flat” and your story won’t work as well. You will struggle to know what to put them through because you won’t know who they are. The same is true if you just have an idea but don’t know anything about story structure or novels specifically. What you watch on tv is not the same as a novel. A novel can be episodic, sure, but there’s a difference in structure and expectations from the reader. Knowing stories well, dedicating time to practicing and learning and getting better, will make writing stories easier for you.

The biggest crippling factor is seeing your book as a book. A book is a product. A finished, final thing. Your STORY isn’t a BOOK yet. Thinking of it that way subconsciously makes you think it should fit a certain standard and be like other books. This isn’t helpful for you in the drafting stage. Drafts can and often will be super messy! It’s about getting the story out of your head so you have something to work with. Something to revise and make correct later. And remember that you will have a team of people to help you make that story into a book (a product worth selling) later. Your beta readers, editors, agent, publishing house, etc etc all play a role in a book being what it is in the end. Don’t think about this at this point in the creative drafting stage. Just write the thing however messily you need to.

Advice on how to make writing a book easier for you Remove unimportant things from your life and delegate where you can to free up some of your time and energy the write Treat it as a fun projectSee it as a story, not a bookPractice practice practice! Let yourself write bad stories and be okay with it Get feedback from trusted people Have a dedicated writing time (every morning first thing, every night after dinner etc) Craft a dedicated writing space so when you’re there, your mind gets into writing mode right away Set the mood – music, scents, no distractions, mood board, whatever stimulates your senses and sets the vibe of your story so you’re excited to write itHave your laptop, notebook or computer easily accessible so there’s less resistance to start and a constant reminder to get to work Tell people around you so they hold you accountable, respect your writing time, and cheer you on (I really hope you have at least one person who cares about you in this way) Read! Read! Read! – and take notes on what you did or didn’t like, what you’ve noticed as patterns in novels, why characters work well Use spare moments to just think and be in your story world so you’re always working on your story even when you’re not actively writing it Always have a notebook or note app available to jot down any and all ideas Don’t compare yourself to the books you read, your story is valid and has its place simply because you wrote it and all you need to worry about it getting it out of your head and onto the page

Remember that writing is hard but that doesn’t mean you’re not capable of doing it if you’re dedicated enough. Like with anything, mastery takes time, energy, and practice. When you fall, get back up and try again.

Good luck!

Sincerely,

S. xx