Dave Rudbarg's Blog, page 8

What If…..?

What if the purpose of spending time with someone you are attracted to was about finding out who they are without an agenda purely motivated by sex or having”someone” to fit your ideal picture of a mate? What if partnership wasn’t based on mutual healing of wounds,and rescuing or compensating for adolescent beliefs about what love is “meant to be.”

What if you listened to what the other person was actually NOT looking for and honored that? What if you were willing to dwell in the unfamiliar and have the courage to invite another to do the same?

What if……..?

#firststep #listening #createthenewnormal

@CoachMeDave

Presence

Create presence in your life today for no reason. Be present. Allow your heart to feel.

@CoachMeDave

Savoring

Abundance is savoring the moments or morsels of the experiences. Hugs, kisses, and laughs can actually appear to be part of an extraordinary tapestry that gets created little by little over a period of time. Developing a finely tuned sense of appreciation is key- as it will likely become a big part of what people associate you with and it will inspire it in them,as well.

And so it is……..

@CoachMeDave

Testimonial

Dave is the perfect balance between tender listening, insightful observation and meaningful suggestions for action.

He always listens to me and can hear things I haven’t found the way to say yet. Dave sees into my heart and head.

Gently he guides me to see parts of myself I have not been willing to see or have not been aware of before. In the areas I may be stuck he seems to find the ideal questions to pose to open doors for me to step out into.

His commitment to me is extraordinary. I feel friendship and companionship in my quest to move forward in my life. My whole world is shifting in an iluminating discovery and momentum.

Thank you @CoachMe Dave for all of this and your generous spirit.

– A.C.

True Transformation

True transformation is the moment you realize that there is not much difference between thinking you sound like a stand for people’s greatness and realizing you might actually sound like a judgmental,annoying,and self righteous jerk that people can’t stand to be around. Both of these statements might be true and for different people at different times.

@CoachMeDave

Skills Set?

If mind reading isn’t one of your “skills”-

stop acting as if it is one of the ones you possess. Surprise yourself and everyone else. Do something revolutionary. Ask questions -then actually listen to learn and grow.

‘Kay?

Thank you.

Namaste,y’all…….

@CoachMeDave

Beware

Beware of little boys disguised as men,raised by little boys disguised as men. Take note of their relationships with other men. Notice the absence of mentors,role models,and men who hold them to account.

See how rage is often their go to expression and their version of supposed masculinity. Look how easily they find fault in their female partners.

Notice these signs early on. Pay attention as if your life depends on it.

Dave Rudbarg

@CoachMeDave

Real Generosity

Being generous with someone who you have been sure didn’t deserve it,with no need to be acknowledged for it by anyone, is an unexpectedly humbling and moving experience.

@CoachMeDave

Born Again- The Remix

What a child perceives,albeit,subconsciously, as a smart survival strategy will eventually reveal itself to be that and not the truth about who we “are,”

We are born again,so to speak ,the day that we begin to become aware that all the energy,focus,need,longing and yearning for love,connection,and being and feeling safe both physically and emotionally,has actually worn down the facade we walk around with. It’s a contributing factor to a sense of melancholy- and a dull spiritual ache- and the ongoing sense of shame, from thinking that we can only be that who that child in survival mode has told us we need to be.

Yesterday in a great conversation,a woman in her 40’s ,said that she had seen her role as being responsible for taking away other people’s pain- and struggled with that role and how people responded.

So I fired her from the job she never had never really needed to take on.

She now gets to create a whole new ” normal” for who she chooses to see herself as- healing,worthy,courageous,beautiful,poetic,loved……and anything else.

“No matter how far you’ve gone,you can always turn around.”

– I’m New Here- @Gil Scott Heron

Namaste,y’all…….

@CoachMeDave

The Boulder

Allow this holy day/holiday of Easter to create a whole new possibility for you whether you celebrate it or not.

Push back the stone from your cave.

Let the person or persons who you may have lead (perhaps unconsciously)to believe that your apparent aloofness,distance,and apparent lack of comfort in the presence of their warmth,affinity,and appreciation was not about how unworthy they are –

but , perhaps how undeserving of their love you often feel.

The willingness to be willing to begin loved and to create connection is a profound act of intimacy and courage- even when you get stopped by your fear- it’s part of the process.

Maybe the key- particularly with really big boulders – is to ask for help.

Namaste.

@CoachMeDave