Colleen Brown's Blog, page 179
May 5, 2014
Dude.. I serve society by rocking.
Dude.. I serve society by rocking.
May 4, 2014
For the fear of losing me,he tells me that he loves me,in the...
For the fear of losing me,
he tells me that he loves me,
in the place of saying
that he never wants to
let me go.
I don't want to live anymore
But your body does. Even if your mind doesn’t. It wants you to keep experiencing, to keep growing, to keep going. It doesn’t want you to give on it. It doesn’t want to see you beaten down, broken down, and anything that is beneath what you deserve. Which what you deserve is a lot. A whole lot. A lot more than you can understand at this exact moment in time. Time does things like this to us. It sometimes makes us believe that this is the end, but it isn’t. Your end is not here yet. Your end is not ready, and I wish you would consider your end before you make the choice for it. You are strong. Stronger than you could ever possibly know. And I wish you knew because if you would know you would never second guess it again. I don’t know you, but I love you, and love will keep you going. It will push you through these trying times. And trust me, love, they are really trying. So give it a chance. Give yourself a chance. You deserve it. You deserve more. Your precious and fragile body deserves more. Keep holding on. It will be worth it if you do. I promise.
"This is when you break
her heart.
When you tell her
that you don’t have
enough courage
to stay..."
her heart.
When you tell her
that you don’t have
enough courage
to stay committed.
This is when she leaves
and you go back
in your head
and try to figure out
where it all went wrong,
where you started to
give up on love
and give in to solitude.
This is when she
finds someone who
is worth it.
This is when you
realize that you’ve made
a mistake
and try to win her back.
This is when you
lost her.
This is when you
realize that
the only problem with love
is you.”
- "When and where," - Colleen Brown
I’ve learned how to find
courage within my pain,
and I want to thank you
for the lack of...
I’ve learned how to find
courage within my pain,
and I want to thank you
for the lack of compassion
that you showed to me
when all I needed
was a helping hand.
If it wasn’t for you
I would have never
been able to find myself
within the parts of me
that I always seemed to
revolt against. Because
those were the parts
that held me up
when all you were doing
was pushing me further
down within the creases
of my own solitude.
I struggle with social anxiety. For some reason, interacting with others can be tough. But that's what I long for, and I know it's something I can't avoid. Any advice on how to overcome this?
Well you have the first step down which is admitting that you have this. I’m not saying that you are an addict of any sort, but really, admitting to something that you are afraid of or something that you have is a way to rid yourself of it. Becoming aware of something of yourself, something you may not like is a chance for your mind to improve that part. But for me, because I used to feel this way at one point in my life, I just realized that I had to get out there. That I might as well do it now, to get used to it now, before I let it take me. And it’s fucking hard, I know that. I think any person who has ever felt this way knows that. But you cannot let it take you alive. You cannot let it stop you from living. That’s what it’s trying to do. So if you can, slowly, just try to put yourself out there. Day by day, start speaking to people. Start off with a small conversation with a strange. Just a simple smile, or a hello, or an eye contact. Those are the little steps that can help you improve. Locking yourself away isn’t going to further anything, but it will push yourself back into the silence and the isolation. So.. just try! If you don’t already, look for a job. Having a job, or in my experience, can very much heighten your sense of socialization. It allows you to talk to people. Even if it’s just work related. But most times you can slip little conversations or little things about your day in there. Or ask others questions. Allow others to open up. Once you see how easily others open up around you, you’ll feel as if you can open up yourself as well. It just takes time. Like everything. As the days go on, if you push yourself out of your comfort zone, things will change. It will be a bit scary at first, but you can do it. I believe in you. But mostly, believe in yourself. You can do anything that you want to do.
As long as you love meI will always be strong,and I will always be ableto take on anythingthat comes...
As long as you love me
I will always be strong,
and I will always be able
to take on anything
that comes my way.
If someone who does not truly know you, or has not seen you / spoken to you / even taken a chance to...
If someone who does not truly know you, or has not seen you / spoken to you / even taken a chance to get to know you, but proceeds to talk harshly of you, please do not let this persons falsely assumed opinion touch your mind. If someone like this has the audacity to speak sourly of you but has never taken the time to sit down with you and to try to understand who you are, then this persons words are not worth it. Their thoughts of who you are does not matter and does not rise above anything. If someone does not know you, their harsh feelings towards you don’t apply and don’t matter because it’s almost, or basically as if they are disliking a figment of their imagination. A figment of something that they created of you that actually does not exist. So please, peaches, never let someone hurt you with their words when they never took the time to really study your heart. You are a good person. You are worth so much more. You are better than all of that negativity. I promise. Don’t let their darkness overtake your light. You will never burn out as long as you know who you are and believe in what you have to give.
May 3, 2014
This morning I woke up and realized that you never really did love me, but you did love the thought...
This morning I woke up
and realized that you never
really did love me, but you did
love the thought of you and I
being together. You loved
the image of us falling in love
and forgetting everything
that we were so afraid of before.
But that’s not really true love,
is it? Because I’ve learned
that true love isn’t about
leaving, and it isn’t about
who was right or wrong.
I’ve learned that true love
is about fighting for each other.
Even if the other person
doesn’t seem like they are
fighting for you.
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