Colleen Brown's Blog, page 180
May 3, 2014
What makes your life worth it?
Life itself is worth it. Just knowing that it could end at any moment makes me want to keep going and to keep living through everything, even if it’s painful. People of course keep me going. My family is the most important and the biggest reason to why my life is so beautiful and great. I have been surrounded by love my entire life that everything else seems to diminish when it comes close. Love, really, and obviously. Hope and all of the feelings that are attached to it. Life is just.. worth it. Getting out of bed everyday is worth it, and defeating your demons as you grow is worth it. Everything is worth it. All of it. I used to think nothing was worth it until I woke up one day and started living.
I am consumed in the thought
that it will someday become easier.
That someday we will be able
to...
I am consumed in the thought
that it will someday become easier.
That someday we will be able
to take all of these trying times
and allow them to allow us
to become stronger. We always
were being pushed down
by misjudged opinions
from others. We listened to
the people who hardly knew
anything about our love
more than we listened to
each other. This is how
we became broken. This is how
we lost sight of what was really
important. This is how you
lost me, and this is how
I will never get you back.
I’m no longer bitter
from the lack of love
that you gave me.
You wrote about your
affections...
I’m no longer bitter
from the lack of love
that you gave me.
You wrote about your
affections towards me
more than you ever
showed me. You never
stood by me with dignity.
And now you blame me
for our love heading
in a direction that only
led to hopelessness.
I pray that one day
you will see that it was
not only my fault.
Because in the end,
no matter how much
pain you went through
to get me to stay,
you were the one
who held the door open.
May 2, 2014
I’ve been so consumed
in trying to figure out
how to properly love you
that I forget to...
I’ve been so consumed
in trying to figure out
how to properly love you
that I forget to learn how
to properly love myself.
mostlyfiction:
By the morning, you will
have already forgotten
about me. But your memory
will...
By the morning, you will
have already forgotten
about me. But your memory
will always live inside
of my skin, my mind,
my fucking bloodstream.
I don’t know why we do this
to ourselves. Admitting
to the problems that are
so easily solvable.
But we keep doing this,
and we continue to keep
each other alive
by using our words
that have only become
stronger the longer
we are away
from one another.
By the morning, you will
have already forgotten
about me. But your memory
will always live inside...
By the morning, you will
have already forgotten
about me. But your memory
will always live inside
of my skin, my mind,
my fucking bloodstream.
I don’t know why we do this
to ourselves. Admitting
to the problems that are
so easily solvable.
But we keep doing this,
and we continue to keep
each other alive
by using our words
that have only become
stronger the longer
we are away
from one another.
If this is love
then I don’t want
anything to do with it.
I’m tired of waking up
at 3 a.m. to a text...
If this is love
then I don’t want
anything to do with it.
I’m tired of waking up
at 3 a.m. to a text message
from you wondering if
you made the right choice
by choosing me.
It shouldn’t be this hard,
and I know that just as well
as you do. But this is difficult,
and I’m drained from waiting
around for your head
and your heart to make
an agreement. It shouldn’t be
this hard, and you should
know that better than anyone.
My mind is starting to lose itself
again inside of its own thoughts.
One moment, I want...
My mind is starting to lose itself
again inside of its own thoughts.
One moment, I want you,
bleeding tongue from words
that you don’t know how
to properly say. And the next
moment I want my loneliness,
sulking and sweet and focused
on the idea of my own solitude
being the only kind of romance.
I don’t know why I do this
to myself, to you, to everyone
who is just trying to get in
to make it all more bearable.
But I do this to myself,
to everyone, and I don’t
see any hint of this battle
ever ending, or a truce
ever forming.
May 1, 2014
I left what we had behindfor the sake of our hearts.I knew that the longerI stayed the more painwe...
I left what we had behind
for the sake of our hearts.
I knew that the longer
I stayed the more pain
we would both have to
endure when it came to
the end. I did not leave
what we had behind
because I was afraid
of opening myself up.
I left what we had behind
because I was afraid
that once I did open up,
you would always be
able to find a way
to get yourself back in.
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