Colleen Brown's Blog, page 182

4everfloral

4everfloral

What do you do when you're not happy with the person you're with but if you leave you're just lonely?

Well honestly, I would rather be lonely. Instead of being stuck with someone I cannot make happy, or who cannot make me happy, I would learn how to make myself happy. I know it hurts at first, but it will pass. Everything does. You just have to explore what you enjoy and what you love and are passionate about. Finding who you are and things that you enjoy doing will make loneliness feel alright. I’ve actually become good friends with my loneliness over the years. We’ve made mends, and now we actually enjoy each others company from time to time. But that’s just me. I would rather be lonely than to be with someone who doesn’t make me happy. It’s just a strain on your mental health, and overtime you will start doubting yourself. Don’t doubt yourself, ever. You can be anything and anyone you want to be. You just have to decide what’s best for yourself. Just try to be happy, love. I promise you, it’s a lot easier than you think.

In a matter of momentsyou removed my memoryfrom your mind. And althoughI know that it’s better...

In a matter of moments

you removed my memory

from your mind. And although

I know that it’s better

this way, for the both of us,

I cannot help but to think

what our lives would have

been like if things would have

gone right, and if you

would have never gone away.

My hands are travelersand they are wandering along your skin. Searching for lands to claim as...

My hands are travelers

and they are wandering

along your skin. Searching

for lands to claim as their own.

They will never make your body

their territory. They will never

find a place to call home

at the end of your limbs.

They have been looking

for something as beautiful

and as stable as your being.

You are what they have been

trying to find all along.

I never meant to hurt you,or to make you lose sight on love. I got away becauseI needed someone...

I never meant to hurt you,

or to make you lose sight

on love. I got away because

I needed someone who could

see light inside of the dark

parts of me. All you ever saw

was yourself being swallowed

whole, and I didn’t want to

be the cause of your demise.

I spent most of my lifetrying to figure outwhy you never wanted meto be in yours, and finallyI have...

I spent most of my life
trying to figure out
why you never wanted me
to be in yours, and finally
I have let go of the curiosity
that has only lead me
to the feeling of insecurity. 

I met her when I feltdefeated. When my hands were in the air, ready to surrender to any...

I met her when I felt

defeated. When my hands

were in the air, ready to

surrender to any feeling

other than hopelessness.

But then I met her

and she saved me.

Gave me a reason

to get out of bed

and to keep fighting

this battle that some call life.

When I met her, I didn’t

know that this was how

things would turn out.

That all of the grey skies

that became clouded

because of your absence

would still have light

behind their grim presence.

But I met her and she

saved me. She saved me

with the words that you

never had the courage to say.

She saved me from your wrath,

and there is no amount

of passionate love that could

ever do the proper justice

of thanking her.

"This is that poem that everyone scrolls pastwhen they find out that it’s about rape,and it’s not..."

“This is that poem that everyone scrolls past

when they find out that it’s about rape,

and it’s not about true love or a one night stand.

This is that poem you read about the girl

who was walking down the street to get milk

because her father told her that he didn’t want

to drink black coffee before work because

it always made his tongue feel bitter,

and it always made his breath smell like rot.

This is the part in the poem where people

usually stop reading and start asking themselves

what she was wearing, or how late it was,

or what neighborhood she lived in. But I don’t

have to tell you that she lived in a small town

with more animals than people for you

to understand that it can happen anywhere.

She was 13 years old, and her chest had not

even molded itself into womanhood yet,

so she had to have been asking for it then, right?

It was in the alleyway that her father

showed her as a shortcut to get back home

before the sun went to sleep.

Before it happened, she thought it was her father,

hoped it was her father, but the rays of the moon

showed her otherwise. Was she asking for it then?

When the nameless man who took from her

what she never even knew existed, left her there,

beaten, violated, and unsure of what she did

that caused this punishment, she stared at the moon.

She stared at the moon and wondered why,

what she could have possibly done to deserve this.”

- "She was only a child," - Colleen Brown

I am not someone to loveout of loneliness. My handscannot give you what youare missing. They can...

I am not someone to love
out of loneliness. My hands
cannot give you what you
are missing. They can only
help you find what you need.
I am not broken, and please
don’t try to fix me because
I have already repaired myself.
I don’t need someone
to want me so I can feel happy,
and I don’t need to be loved
to feel complete. My body
is a battleground and there 
is a never ending struggle
between what it is that I want
and what it is that I need.
I have been fighting this war
since the day I met the light,
and I don’t need someone
to take-on this battle for me.

small doodles from today

small doodles from today