Colleen Brown's Blog, page 100
January 5, 2015
""Did you ever love me?"
"Are you ever going to come back home?"
"You’re in love with someone..."
"Did you ever love me?"
"Are you ever going to come back home?"
"You’re in love with someone else, aren’t you?"
"How long do I have to pretend that I’m over you?"
"Can we start over?"
"How could you just leave me like that?"
"Does she treat you better than I did?"
"Can you please come over?"
"Did you really mean it when you said forever?"
"When will we see each other again?"
”- "Questions I’ll never have the courage to ask you," - Colleen Brown
January 4, 2015
"Do you remember all those times
we used to talk about when we
were finally going to be together?
We..."
Do you remember all those times
we used to talk about when we
were finally going to be together?
We used to type it out in text
messages to one another, speak it
over the phone and even write
it into the lines of our own
personal poetry.
Now that I am looking back at it,
at all of these memories full of lust
and anticipation, I cannot believe
that we took our time together
for granted. We went from lovers
to perfect strangers, and that
was a relationship that I never
thought we would know again.
I know that you blame yourself
and trust me darling,
I blame myself too.
We suffocated each other with
silence and have held regret
in our hearts for the last year
spent apart for all of the things
we never said. I wish there were
a way to forget our past and
discover a new kind of love
in one another that could redefine
this lingering feeling inside
of my chest.
I want to go back to those times,
want to live inside of those infinite
moments of longing for your presence
and wishing on every 11:11 that you
were next to me.
- "I wonder where we would be if we could do it all over," - Colleen Brown & Mariah Gordon-Dyke
channeling my inner woodland elf
channeling my inner woodland elf
"It’s only been
four days
into the new year
and I am already
dwelling
on the events
of last year
in..."
four days
into the new year
and I am already
dwelling
on the events
of last year
in which
I had you,
lost you,
and was too foolish
to get you back.”
- 1/4/15
i don’t need to know my future when my past still lingers...
i don’t need to know my future when my past still lingers on the palms of my hands
"I want to write poems with you.
I want you to see yourself in my words, want you to hold onto that..."
I want to write poems with you.
I want you to see yourself in my words, want you to hold onto that meaning when time isn’t going the way we thought. So write with me so you can see the way my meaning develops as I write out my infinite tenderness for you.
I want to go to bed with you.
I want you to see me at my most vulnerable, my most worn out, my most paralyzed by sleep deprivation. I want you to see me like this because I want you to know that I am not always put-together, not always vigilant, and not even close to being perfect.
I want to dance with you.
I want you to pull me closer when the song slows down. I want you to see me in the dim lighting, to fall in love with me all over again while I remember all the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place. So dance with me even when your feet don’t seem to have the energy or courage to keep on beat.
I want to watch films with you.
I want you to look at me from the corner of your eye while my gaze is focused on the screen. I want you to see me dreaming of a better world in which we could be apart of. I want you to remember my favorite films, remember the parts that touched me the most, remember the moments in which I could see myself there, could remember when I felt the way the protagonist did. I want to watch films with you and I want you to join me in the impossible but desirable lands.
I want to drink with you.
I want to hear your sober thoughts transition into the messy and loose ones. I want to hear the truth soaking inside of your mouth as it downs three shots of whiskey. I want you to kiss me with your tongue coated in confessions. I want you to remember the parts of last night where all you wanted to do was feel the way your tingling skin felt against mine. So let’s get drunk and let’s reminisce when the morning after comes and I am still next to you.
”- "I want you in so many ways," - Colleen Brown
"When will our love story resume?
How long must we go on pretending
that all this time apart is the..."
How long must we go on pretending
that all this time apart is the reason
that we should be together again?
We were always so sure of ourselves,
always so definite that what we
went through would only make us
stronger. It’s been months now
since we’ve spoken and now
I’m wondering if this time away
from your side is really the reason
of our almost upcoming reunion.”
- "I’m still waiting for this, for you, for us," - Colleen Brown
January 3, 2015
my twin bought me a totoro dress
my twin bought me a totoro dress
I’ve been trying to imagine my lifewithout you, and even if I was giftedwith the most vivid...
I’ve been trying to imagine my life
without you, and even if I was gifted
with the most vivid imagination
there is no fantasy that I can create
without you being a part of it.
January 1, 2015
the last sunset of 2014
the last sunset of 2014
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