Colleen Brown's Blog, page 99

when I looked at the sky, I swear for a moment, I felt you here...

when I looked at the sky, I swear for a moment, I felt you here with me

I can’t promise youthat I will always be happy,or that I will always be able to give you...

I can’t promise you
that I will always be happy,
or that I will always 
be able to give you exactly 
what you need.
But I can promise you
that I will love you 
with all of me, entirely,
for the rest of my
indifferent and unsure life.

"We’re at the same partybut we didn’t come here together.I can see the both of youin..."

“We’re at the same party

but we didn’t come here together.

I can see the both of you

in the corner of my eye

and I’m wondering if you brought her

here to show me for yourself

that you really have moved on.

I’ll admit that she’s beautiful

but knowing you it won’t last until

the morning. You’ll go home

together and she’ll sleep on my side

of the bed because she’s had

too much to drink and you need

someone to fill in not only the spaces

of your heart but the spaces

in your home. I know you’ve never been

one for being alone but soon

you’ll see that if you’re not with the one

you really want, loneliness will

find its way in those empty rooms

of your vacant heart

that you thought you could substitute

with someone who came close

to making you feel the way

I once used to when your home

was once ours.”

- "When I moved out of our home, you moved out of my heart," - Colleen Brown

flowers in the hospitals gift shop

flowers in the hospitals gift shop

"From across the hall I can hear a Russian familypraying at the feet of their 20-year-old something..."

“From across the hall I can hear a Russian family

praying at the feet of their 20-year-old something brother

and son who got too drunk to see the road before him

and smashed his father’s corvette into a Honda civic

that was driven by a mother who just wanted to

get home to see her 7-month newborn baby.

I try to feel sympathetic for both sides but I’m too busy

pacing around my older brothers hospital bed

waiting for the doctor to come back with the results

to see whether or not he can come home tonight or not.

I feel like I’ve been in room 402 for a few days now

but when I look at the clock above his IV bag

I realize that it’s only been 14 minutes

since the last time I asked the nurse when the doctor

was going to let me know what he knows

and what I can do in the meantime so I’m not

thinking myself into my own kind of coma.”

- "Afternoons in the ER," - Colleen Brown

I think I’m going to cry over how beautiful and...

painting little things on the back on envelopes for letters...

painting little things on the back on envelopes for letters that i am going to send to those of whom i love

I cannot forgivewhat I cannot forgetand if rememberingthe pain you so willinglyput me through makes...

I cannot forgive
what I cannot forget
and if remembering
the pain you so willingly
put me through 
makes me resentful
then so be it.

It’s probably too late.

It’s probably too late.

And if one day you realizethat loving me wasn’t worthany of the risks that you once took, I...

And if one day you realize
that loving me wasn’t worth
any of the risks that you 
once took, I will not 
remind you of when you
once said that being
with me was the only
chance that you would
never regret taking.