David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 71

Thanksgiving Animated Gifs

Personally, I do like Thanksgiving. I know the holiday is problematic, but I still want to take time in November to feel the pleasant associations I do have with that holiday. By that, I mean that I want to celebrate the holiday some before I get onto Christmas. I recognize others may feel differently. Still, I want some Thanksgiving before getting into Christmas.  As such, THANKSGIVING ANIMATED GIF WEEK!!!!

Thanksgiving animated gif week day 1:

The Rosemary Sourdough Was A Mistake

I admit it. The rosemary sourdough was a mistake.

My wife was recently making split pea and ham soup from scratch. She makes a really good one, and it was a cold crappy day, so this was going to be a nice thing. We always get a fresh loaf of sourdough with it, usually from Whole Foods because they have a pretty good one of those. We tried to do that this time, but I realized after I was walking back to the cart that I had grabbed the rosemary sourdough instead of just sourdough by mistake.

We thought about switching, but I’d already taken the fresh loaf out of the display box and bagged it. We debated whether or not I could just unbag it, put it back, and bag up a fresh loaf of sourdough. We waffled for a while, and decided to just go ahead anyway…until we noticed that someone had taken the last loaf of sourdough. Rosemary sourdough was our only option at that point, and it was my fault. My wife remarked that she hoped it didn’t taste that different.

It did though.

I wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t as good as the ordinary sourdough. It still worked, but it wasn’t the same kind of treat.

It was a mistake.

Dennis Hof Makes Me Think Of A “Four Rooms” Mashup

I would not shame any sex workers, but the Dennis Hof election results out of Nevada recently (the deceased brother owner who managed to win his election despite having died beforehand) had me thinking of a Four Rooms mashup:

TED: (into the phone) Police, it’s an emergency! (pause) Hello, Police, this is Nevada Assembly District 36, get someone over here right fucking now, there’s a DEAD PIMP stuffed into the ballot!

SARAH: (tears well in Sarah’s eyes as she looks at the body) Don’t call him that…

TED: (into the phone) I’m dead fucking serious, there’s a dead fucking Pimp stuffed in the choices on the fucking ballot!

SARAH: Stop calling him that!! (Sarah grabs the hypodermic needle from under the curtain and stabs it into Ted’s leg)

TED: FUCK!!

I can’t stop thinking this. Now I’ve shared that problem with you.

I Got And Broke A Pump For My 3 Liter Camelbak In The Same Day

I got and broke a pump for my 3 liter Camelbak in the same day. Okay, well, the same night. Okay, it was a dream.

There was only about 30 seconds of the dream, as far as I can remember. My wife and I were filling my 3 liter Camelbak, no doubt about to go on a hike. I switched on the pump and it filled. Then, once it was filled, I switched it off. It didn’t stop. By that, there was no time to react. My wife was upset that I didn’t do something though, but I’d switched it off. What else could I do? It over-swelled rapidly, like a balloon, and exploded. That’s when I woke up. My first thought was a slight depression over the accident. Then I remembered that the pump didn’t exist, nor would it.

After all, even as big as a 3 liter Camelbak it, it fills in about 3o second in a bathtub. Why buy a pump? It would take more time to hook up than it would to fill.

Just something my brain did I guess. Dream brains are odd things.

True, Sometimes Someone Doesn’t Be Aware Of Afterward

I was just deleting spam comments a moment ago. I ran across this one:

Truly when someone doesn’t be aware of afterward its up to other visitors that they will

assist, so here it occurs.

Immediately I thought: True, sometimes someone doesn’t be aware of afterward. That is indeed true.

Seriously, what? Also, my brain isn’t quite awake yet this morning.

I Should Really Stop Getting Bánh Mì At Non-Vietnamese Places

I REALLY have to stop getting bánh mì at non-Vietnamese restaurants. I keep doing this, and it’s never good. I know it isn’t going to be good, but I keep doing it.

I really got into bánh mì on our trip to Vietnam. We have a ton of Vietnamese restaurants in the Denver area, many of which are dedicated to bánh mì or at least serve it. However, most are in one area of town that we have to make a special trip to. Given that my wife isn’t as into something so bread-focused and that the same neighborhood has a ton of other restaurants she prefers instead, it’s really hard to get her to do down there just so I can have a bánh mì.  As such, I rarely get to go where I know I should for them.

Instead, I keep seeing them on the menu at other places, non-Vietnamese places. Chain places. Alamo Drafthouse. Zeps Epiq Sandwiches. They aren’t bad for other food, but I KNOW they aren’t going to do bánh mì right. They are going to do their own take on it, which will be horrible for anyone who likes real bánh mì. I KNOW this, but I keep ordering it because I like bánh mì so much. I keep telling myself when I order it will be good enough, that I’d rather have fake bánh mì than none at all, but then the same disappointing result happens when I eat…just as I knew it would the whole time.

I wish an actual bánh mì place would open closer to my house.

Don’t Argue With A Joke

You always want people to participate with posts, but some kinds of comments are just aggravating. They distract from the main post and despite the best intentions of the poster, just seem rude. Usually, they indicate that the person didn’t take the time to understand the post, wanted to make their own post instead, or just didn’t care for the post and should have moved on. Commenting instead, as they always do, is just rude and makes everyone but them feel bad.

Pet peeves for a post that’s clearly just a quick joke:

– People who ask you to explain. This is rude. If you don’t get it, take it off line. You’re ruining the joke for everyone else, including the author, by having your comment chain hanging out there like someone took a crap in the middle of a floor at a party.

– People who argue with the joke. Jokes may not be perfect. Move on and don’t be a pedantic ass. Often, you haven’t really taken the time to understand the joke and are either arguing something that is already there or are off gibbering like an angry, incoherent drunk. Regardless, your contribution just makes everyone else feel worse.

– People who are trying to tell a joke themselves but are so off topic as to make the joke chain incoherent and uncomfortable. Seriously, don’t just rave on someone else’s joke. This indicates you didn’t really like their joke and wanted to tell your own. Go do that, somewhere else.

Someone do something in a joke that needs to be called out? Do it. Think of a comment that goes with the joke and plays off it? Go for it. Just don’t be a dick and make them sorry they posted their joke. It’s just rude. Fine if you’re a troll, because f*ck you anyway, but really shitty if you think you’re that person’s friend.

Monthly Book Plug Post!

Monthly book plug post!

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You don’t always know when it’s coming, but you always know it’s coming.

Flash Nano Starts Today!

Flash Nano starts today! The flash companion to Nanowrimo, you write 30 flash fictions in 30 days. This will be my fourth year with this (Nancy Stohlman got me involved and I rely on her prompts and posts for this quite a bit) which is always fun because we always go out of the country this time of year and I have to do part of this from France, Vietnam, Ecuador/Peru, shortly Ireland, and so on. It’s some of my best writing of the year.

Are you playing?

Also: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHANNON!

I Don’t Know Why I Still Like This So Much

I don’t know why I still like this so much.

I just do.