Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 42

31 Days to Better Domestic Service: Room to Room Cleaning Lists For Your Home

Yesterday we made a master cleaning list and then decided on a plan of what chore lists you wanted to have for you own circumstances. Part of the deeper cleaning plans will include room by room cleaning. Each room you have things you do to bring it back to the cleanest level you prefer it. Room cleaning lists help out best if you choose to do your cleaning in one sweep on a single day, but also if you have time in your schedule and find a room lacking proper care.

If you are like me, and gosh I hope you all are not like me, you forget exactly everything you want to get done in each room. Having a list already made up that I can refer to is a simple and effective method to keeping me on task. It also means when KnyghtMare tells me to clean the bedroom I know exactly what he requires of the cleanliness of the room. So I bring my tablet or phone into the room with me and bring up my room cleaning list on Evernote. That way I can just check things off the list as I get them done. It feels good!

With room by room cleaning lists, you don’t have to do everything each time you are in the room for cleaning. The list is meant as a master cleaning list for that room for deep cleaning. Sure you could make two lists; one for general cleaning of the room and another for deeper cleaning but why work so hard! Just put the deeper, more intense cleaning items at the bottom of the list, so when you are checking things off, you know you are getting to the harder things the further down the list you get.

Download these Free Room to Room Cleaning Lists

Click Image to Access Files

kallista put together some lovely room to room cleaning lists for you to use or alter to fit your home. Download the color set you like the best!

Room to Room Cleaning Lists Online

Use these to help you build your own!

Complete Living Room, Dining Room and Bedroom Cleaning Lists
Printable House Cleaning Checklists
Detailed Cleaning Lists from FlyLady.net (PDF)
Room by Room Cleaning Lists on Pinterest.com

Activity

Go through each room of your home and write down the cleaning tasks you need to complete to bring it to the level of clean you like for everyday as well as deeper cleaning. You can use the links above for ideas if you aren’t sure what tasks to add for each room. Add your lists to your Home Management Journal for safe-keeping.

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 17, 2015 07:00

31 Days to Better Domestic Service: Create Daily, Weekly, Monthly and Seasonal Cleaning Lists

The core of any cleaning plan are the lists of tasks that you carry out to maintain your home. I used to make a new list each and every day of the tasks I wanted to get done that day but one morning I sat and just glanced at the previous days’ lists and realized something. They were all practically the same. And I’m sure it’s that way with many of you too. So, let’s talk about making lists that we don’t have to write them up everyday, ones that we can put in our binders and just open up the page for the day and get to work, alright?

First and foremost, keep in mind that each of you has a different home and a specific level of clean that you like to maintain. You will also have varied amounts of time to do any cleaning so try to remember yourself in all these lists. It’s fantastic to have a nice long list, but very frustrating if you can never accomplish it all in the time you have each day.

Step 1: Create a Master Task List

Before you can decide when to clean you must first know what to clean, and how often. Thus before you can create a cleaning schedule that works for your life and your schedule, you need to assess your own home and cleaning needs. A cleaning schedule for a childless couple living in a 1-bedroom apartment will look very different from a cleaning schedule for a homeschooling mom of five living in a 4-bedroom house!

So take some time and figure out what tasks you do or would like to have done on a very regular basis to keep your home clean. Whether they are everyday, every week or less frequent, just make the list now and you can spread them out and sort the lists out later.

Step 2: Pick the Best Plan for YOU

The next thing you need to do is figure out what sort of cleaning plan will work best for your life and your schedule. Are you the kind of person who wants to do a little every day, or would you rather tackle it all at once so that you don’t have to think about it for the rest of the week. Do you work full-time or are you home during the day? Do you have young children at home or are your kids old enough to help shoulder some of the responsibility?

There is no one “right way” to keep house, and there is no universal cleaning schedule that will fit every household’s needs. Ultimately you have to take the time to determine what sort of schedule will be both realistic and doable for your own needs. While you should take the time to consider all the following ideas, please don’t think that you need to DO all of them. Instead, pick the ONE plan that seems like it will be the best fit and try it out for a while. If you hate it, you can always try something else!

Daily

I have things I do everyday. I always do the dishes and pick up the living room. I always have “make the bed” on the list too, but I’ve been slacking lately on that one. The goal with your daily chores is to not overwhelm you. After all, you also will have chores based on what day of the week it is and perhaps some of the tasks from other lists as well. So, make your daily chores the everyday things – that to do list you make every morning usually has a few things that go on there each time. That’s your daily list.

If you are making a Home Management Binder (and you should!) you can now make a more permanent list that you just have the page open to and check things off as you go. Dress it up or use a premade printable that you can find online. There are hundreds if not thousands to choose from.

Here’s a pretty darned good Pinterest list of daily cleaning lists.

Daily cleaning is also good for sprinters; people who like to do a quick run through of the house every single day. You may even set a timer and then do as much as you can in that time frame and then call it a day.

Weekly

The Weekly list is in fact, another “daily” list, but the chores here are only done once a week on whatever day you select. You may also want to place things that are done a couple of times a week on this list too. For me, the tasks on this list are things like changing the sheets, going to the bank or grocery shopping.

Or if you are a person who prefers or only has time once a week to get the cleaning done, you’re to do list for that one weekly session will be a lot more time-consuming than mine. Perhaps you like to pick just one day of the week to get the bulk of your cleaning done, on a day off from work perhaps, so doing a set list of chores on a daily basis doesn’t make much sense.

Monthly

Monthly items are going to be fewer but usually require some planning. Things like wiping out the inside of cabinets, vacuuming out the closets, removing foods from the fridge or freezer that are past their prime, dusting ceiling fans or sweeping the front porch are only every once in a while tasks that you can put on a monthly list. I commonly like to pick a time frame, say 15 minutes and add it to my weekly list. I’ll choose to do 15 minutes of tasks from my monthly list once a week. That way I know they are still getting done infrequently and I don’t feel like I’m constantly cleaning.

Seasonal

Finally seasonal cleaning, otherwise known as the big Spring Clean for most people. There are things that you could put on that list for what would be a once a year or once every season list. For example, how frequently does the lawnmower or snow blower need maintenance? Twice a year, right? Once before the season and once before you store it away. How often do you clean the garage? Sharpen the hedge trimmers? Change the furnace filter? These are the types of things for that list.

Pinterest boards for seasonal cleaning

Seasonal Cleaning Printables for You!

Click Image to Download File

More Free Downloads!

kallista has worked hard to make sets of cleaning lists that you can download and customize for your own home. Feel free to use them directly or to help you make your own!

Click Image to Download File

Although it might seem overwhelming at first, creating a cleaning schedule that works for your own home and family life can be incredibly liberating. Suddenly instead of a big daunting mess in front of you, there is a workable plan to take care of it. What are you waiting for?

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 16, 2015 07:00

Time Management: The Pomodoro Technique

As I have been making the slow transition between Active School Teacher to Active House kitty this summer, time management has become a really important factor in my daily routine. As I am sure is the case with many subs who spend a good deal of time at home, the pressure to make myself feel like I am contributing as much to the household as my working Dom can be a strong motivator to keep myself as busy as I might be if I were working (this is especially the case while I am staying with my parents as my visa is sorted out). The downside to having such compelling reasons for keeping myself busy, I’ve found, is that I never quite feel like I’m doing enough around the house, and yet I never seem to get to the part of the day where I get to do the more relaxing, enjoyable things that could usually be considered perks of being a stay at home partner.

When you’re left to your own devices, and left to manage your own time, it is more than easy to fall into a state of mind where you either feel as though you are accomplishing very little, or feel that you have spent most of your day doing the exact opposite of what you’d set out to do when the day began—especially if you are in charge of tasks that you consider undesirable, or unstimulating. If you’re like me, the idea of letting your Dom down, or not being as useful as you feel you should be, can be a source of a lot of anxiety, but it might not actually be so much to dissuade you from putting off more unpleasant tasks, or from losing track of time when doing something enjoyable.

I’m exceptionally lucky to have a friend who is particularly good at managing her own time, who has recently introduced me to the Pomodoro technique. This form of time management has, so far, successfully combated most of the challenges of being a stay-at-home partner, and has a couple of different, bonus benefits that I could potentially see working for various personality types.

So what is the Pomodoro Technique?

Developed in the 1980s, the Pomodoro approach to your To-Do list is pretty simple: once you’ve decided on your lists of tasks to be done, set a timer for 25 minutes and use that block of time to cycle through your To-Do list. Give yourself about a five-minute break between tasks, and, if it suits your fancy, make a few notes about what you did in each block of time.

The benefit to this approach is that you are dividing your time evenly between certain tasks. This means that people who have a shorter attention span (like me) have feasible goals with a designated end-time. It also means that people who have longer attention spans, or who are easily able to get into the flow of a task while time melts around them, have a way to pull themselves out of a longer task to move onto other, more readily accomplished tasks throughout the day. Likewise, it’s a wonderful way to incorporate breaks into your day. Scheduling a block or two of leisure time throughout the day is a refreshing alternative to keeping your fun activities to the “end of the day” without having to worry about getting too involved in a task or feeling guilty for not doing “more important” household chores. In addition, if you’re required to perform tedious tasks without a designated end or stopping point (i.e. job hunting), the Pomodoro technique allows you switch from the unpleasant activity to another activity before you get burnt out by the task.

The best way to integrate the technique

The best way is, ultimately, up to you and your Dom, and depends primarily on the types of chores you fill your day with. I have as many mental responsibilities throughout the day as I do physical responsibilities, and because I am a very high-energy individual, I have a hard time doing large chunks of things that require sitting still (and then I run into the antithesis of that when I try to do too many physical things, and I tire myself out). So my schedule generally alternates between mental and physical tasks like so:

Block 1: Tidy up kitchen from the night before
Block 2: Answer e-mails from schools
Block 3: Yoga
Block 4: Write and/or edit

My list of To-Do will usually vary from day-to-day, but setting it up so that my mental and physical activities are staggered gives my brain and body the 25 minutes of rest that they might need for the next task. You’ll also notice that in the first hour and forty minutes of my day, I’ve already knocked four important things (including a full body work out, because yoga is a really efficient way to exercise, if you’re doing the right type!).

Granted, there are certain tasks that the Pomodoro technique will be ill-equipped for. If you’re doing a deep cleaning of a single room, chances are it’s best to make that your only task for the day, and to finish the room—especially if it’s a room used by the household a lot. Usually, though, it’s perfectly acceptable to break a larger task into two or three small increments, that way you can guarantee that you remain fresh and focused from the beginning of the task to the end, rather than getting half way through a task and rushing through the final half because you’re desperate to get to the next thing on your To Do list.

The Pomodoro Technique is just one of many that you can use to break up your day and to help you feel as efficient as possible. Its application can be as simple as setting a kitchen timer, or as intricate as downloading tomato.es on Chrome and using the timer on your web browser to help you keep notes and to track your progress in tasks throughout the day. It’s a really useful way to accomplish many little tasks, or to break down a few larger tasks throughout you day, as well as to incorporate your own favourite pastimes into your daily routine in a guilt-free way.

So what do you think? Have you used this technique before? Will you be trying it out? Do you have something that you already use for time management in place? Comment below and let us know!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 15, 2015 07:00

31 Days to Better Domestic Service: Reducing Clutter to Maximize Cleaning Efforts

Yesterday you pulled together cleaning lists for each room on each day that you do cleaning. Now as the cleaning needs to be done, you may realize one thing. Clutter. Your house has piles of things, disorganized, under used and dusty. You may not know where to put some of the things you’ve collected or the pile just keeps growing as you forget to put things away. Either way you slice it, you have a problem.

Clutter makes your house look messy even when it isn’t. You could be a domestic diva in all other ways, but if you have places that attract clutter day after day it will undermine your cleaning routine. So today we are going to tackle the clutter. Flylady calls them fires. Every day she asks you to go put your fires out, which means to clear the common clutter spots. What are some common clutter spots? Here are a few of mine:

The chair just inside the front door
Kitchen table
Side table next to the most used chair in the living room
Bathroom counter
Floor by the bed
Closets

I’m not asking you to become a minimalist, but there are smarter ways to organize and store what you own, as well as realizing just how much stuff you actually need. Everyone has their ideal level of simplicity — what matters most is keeping what’s essential to you, and getting rid of the rest.

Before you tackle your clutter, there are four basic steps to decluttering to keep in mind. Let’s take the example of decluttering a single drawer. These are the fundamental steps:

Collect. Take out everything and put it in a pile. Empty the entire drawer, and pile it all on a counter or a table. Take everything out, down to the last paper clip.
Choose. Pick out only the few things you love and use and that are important to you. Just sort through the pile, picking out the really essential stuff. Be very selective. Put the important stuff you pick out into a separate, smaller pile.
Eliminate. Toss the rest out. You know you’ll never need those manuals again (and if you think you do, you can add them to your cloud storage system). Either throw everything into a big trash bag, or find a new home for some of the items if you think someone might have a use for them — donate them to charity or give them to a friend who would love them.
Organize. Put back the essential things, neatly, with space around things. Clean the drawer out first, of course, and put the very small pile of things you chose back in the drawer, grouping like things together and leaving space around the groups. Having space around things makes everything look neater and simpler. I especially like little baskets and cubbies for smaller items so they stay sorted and organized.

This process is repeated for every drawer, shelf, table top, counter space, floor, closet, or any other area you’re trying to declutter.

Tackle one spot at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Perhaps you can add a declutter task to your cleaning lists from yesterday until you’ve been able to simplify the areas in your house that attract piles of things. Then, every day as you clean that particular room, the pile gets reduced again – keeping the mess under control.

Activity

Pick one clutter attracting spot today and start going through it. Spend just 15 mins doing this. The goal isn’t necessarily to get it all cleaned up, but to get started. Remember we all start somewhere and it didn’t grow overnight. You’ve got to work with what you have and the time you have to do it in.

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 14, 2015 08:00

What Happens After You Use Your Safeword?

You have a safeword for your BDSM kinky fun. Right?

I know there’s a debate in the world of BDSM and D/s between the safeword crew and those who don’t want one. I land firmly on the side of having a safeword – always. It’s rarely used but it’s always there.

We could debate the merits of having one or not. That may be a discussion for another day. Today let’s talk about actually using your safeword and what should happen next.

To Safeword or Not – That is the Question

Whatever word you use (mine is “red), your safeword is in place for your health, safety, and well-being – and that of your Dominant. It’s protection against real harm. If you ever need to use it, there should be no shame attached to it.

Many submissives feel, at some point in their D/s relationship, that using their safeword disappoints their Dominant. It’s like we think we have something to prove, and if we call out “purple eggplant” in the middle of a scene, we’re weak. Wrong! On so many levels. (For the record, if your Dominant makes you feel bad about using yours, there’s a problem there. A big one.)

Yes, sometimes a safeword is used out of fear and lack of trust more than the bad kind of pain or some issue that affects your health, mental or physical. Most of the time, though, things have gone just a smidge (or more than a smidge) over the line, and your Dominant hasn’t picked up on it. Using your safeword is part of your responsibility as a submissive. How can your Dominant trust that the kinky things you do are safe if you’re not willing to admit when you’ve had too much?

Once you scream out “gobbledygook,” everything should stop. It may stop for a minute, it may end the scene, but everything comes to a screeching halt.

What Happens After the Safeword?

Every situation is a little different, just as every relationship is different. This is one of those “results may vary” kind of things. That being said, some actions are pretty common.

All play stops immediately. Make sure to speak up so your Dominant hears you.
Your Dominant speaks to you – asking what hurts, what’s wrong, what you need.
You must attempt to answer your Dominant even if you find it difficult to speak. Share as much information as you can.
Resolve the issue and continue playing OR
Stop the scene and begin aftercare.

Aftercare is one of those squishy things that never looks the same each time, and everyone handles it differently.

Loving D/s relationships and D/s play partners will have different types of aftercare but some things are typical:

A blanket to keep you warm
Water or something to eat
Hugs, hand-holding, cuddles – but some people don’t want to be touched either, and that’s okay
Talking about the scene and how you feel

Don’t let anyone tell you aftercare isn’t important. You’ve just been sent on an endorphin high and what goes up, must come down. Taking a few moments to feel comforted and simply sip water can do wonders for your mental state. If nothing else, it helps bring you back down with less of a jolt.

Aftercare is even more important after you use your safeword. You may be feeling hurt or sick. You could be scared and need reassurance. In my own experience, aftercare immediately follows the use of a safeword. Part of that is because it’s so rarely used that Southern Sir knows something must be wrong if I use it. Part of it, though, is that he needs reassurance that I’m safe, healthy, and whole – and that he didn’t do something to hurt me. Remember, aftercare isn’t just for submissives.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and none of us would ever need our safewords or be afraid to use them. This is the real world, though. There’s no shame in having a safeword or using it. You’re not weak, and your Dominant (probably) didn’t do anything wrong. Whatever your word (chicken parmesan, oak tree, I’m a little tea cup), it’s there to keep you safe.

Keep your expectations high for what should happen once you use your safeword and never let anyone shame you for it.

Are you afraid to use your safeword? Did you have a bad experience after you did? Share in the comments below!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 13, 2015 07:00

31 Days To Better Domestic Service: Use Calendars to Make Routine Maintenance Reminders

When does the car need a tune up again? Did we change the furnace filter recently? Have you descaled the coffee pot this month?

How many times have you forgotten the routine maintenance tasks because you didn’t have them written down? I know I have. That was until I started adding reminders to my Google Calendar. How together I feel when I can get reminders about regular maintenance tasks that need doing each week!

Note: Since I have a Gmail account, I try to use all the free stuff that Google provides and one of them is the Calendar. I know other programs exist that have calendars but this one is going to deal with Google’s calendar since that’s the one I’m most familiar with.

How to Create Google Calendar Event Reminders

(click on any image to see a larger version)

Step 1: Create your event and click “edit event.”

Step 2: Scroll down to the “reminders” setting and choose the type of reminder that you want to receive.

Step 3: Add more reminders by clicking on “Add a reminder.”

Step 4: After adding your reminders, click “save” at the top of screen.

Step 5: You can sync your Google Calendar to your mobile device. Directions are available here iOS and Android devices.

Helpful Maintenance Schedules

Here’s a handy Google Doc of Seasonal House Maintenance

General Car Service Schedule

Another place you can find maintenance schedules is in the owner’s manual of your appliances and other gadgets. You’ve probably skimmed over it or tossed the book aside once you purchased it, but if you did save it (and you should) you can make reminders for the maintenance these items require based on the manufacturer. Sweet!

What ever happened to pen and paper?

Alright so some of you don’t want to use a digital calendar. That’s alright! Here are some printable calendars made by kallista.

Click Image to Download File

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 12, 2015 07:00

31 Days To Better Domestic Service: FLYing with FlyLady.net

When I first starting making a concerted effort to organize my cleaning and home organization, the first place I encountered is still the place I turn to over and over again. I owe all that I’ve learned and the drive to push further to FlyLady! While I don’t use all of her steps any longer, I can say that I’ve based a lot of my routines and lists to her initial ones that she provides to all “flybabies” for free!

FlyLady is a cleaning and organization guru that has made it easy for everyone to take baby steps into a cleaner, more streamlined home; no matter how much time you have every day.

When you join FlyLady, you will receive daily FLYmail. Your FLYing Lessons will guide you through babysteps to help you set up routines, get rid of your clutter, and put your home and life in order. FlyLady’s approach has worked for thousands. Join anytime you want (there is no cost involved)! You are not behind — you are just getting started!

Getting Started with FlyLady
Who is FlyLady?
Why FLY?
Join FlyLady
Getting Started

Why am I sharing this with you? Because why re-write the book when there are excellent resources that we can refer to! She has control journals (home management binders) available for you to download if you wish, she provides you with routines, cleaning schedules and emailed reminders to keep you going all day, every day. If you feel you’d like to give her a go – then do! Later in this series I’ll share another helpful resource that works for me too if this one isn’t for you.

As with all things, take what you can use and leave the rest. Trust me though, FlyLady has things together and helped me when I desperately needed guidance.

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 11, 2015 07:00

31 Days To Better Domestic Service: Digitally Store User Manuals Using Evernote or Cloud Storage

I used to have piles of manuals for various gadgets. Often they’d disappear when I need them most (how do you change the battery in the thermostat?). I’d go through them and find items that I no longer own and the clutter was very annoying. So one day I decided I was going to find a better way to store these things. Sure I could have just thrown them away, but what if I needed them? I wanted to have them but not have them. What was my solution? The digital copy. I’d already done that with my Home Management Binder, what else could I transition to a digital format? Lots of things, actually.

With Evernote

Since reducing paper clutter, I have moved to a completely paperless set of manuals for all of my devices, gadgets and anything that comes with a manual–and I’ve done it without scanning a single document, because we all can’t own document scanners. I have a flat bed scanner and there was no way I was going to scan each page. Here’s how I did it:

Collected all my existing paper manuals into a single pile.
For each manual, I went to the manufacturer’s website and located a PDF version of the manual.
Add the PDF file to a new note in Evernote and tag the note “manuals”
Repeat for the rest of the manuals in the pile.

For every new item I get that comes with an instruction manual, I do the same thing as soon as I open the box. Then I trash or recycle the paper manual that came with the item.

Finally, I created a Saved Search called “Manuals and User Guides” that looks for anything tagged “manuals”. I think I have about 20 or so right now and I no longer have piles of manuals sitting around the house. Better yet, when I need to know how to use the auto cleaning feature of my Keurig coffee machine, I can pull out my phone or tablet, open Evernote, click my saved search and instantly find what I’m looking for without getting up from the couch.

By the way, another thing I do is snap a picture of the product label with the model number/serial number info. It’s often a pain to go look at that if you need it. The picture can go in the user manual note, or in a notebook for Product label pictures.

Something I found while researching this post is an amazing addition to my suggestion above, if you have a tablet or phone with a camera.

Create a Note Link to your note with the manual for your thermostat
Paste that Note Link into a QR code generator (like this one) and get a graphical QR code you can stick to your thermostat
Print the QR code onto labels and place on the item.
When you need to change your thermostat battery, point your device with a camera at the sticker and RTFM (Read the Fine Manual).

With Cloud Storage

If Evernote seems to confusing to you, then you can always use Cloud Storage. Cloud storage is a drive on the internet that is accessible from any device you own with an internet connection. Google provides over 15 Gigabit of free storage for anyone with a Google account. Adding your manuals to the cloud is a pretty easy process.

Collect all existing paper manuals into a single pile.
For each manual, Go to the manufacturer’s website and locate a PDF version of the manual.
Upload the PDF file to a folder in Drive marked “Manuals”
Repeat for the rest of the manuals in the pile.
Google makes it easy to search your files in Drive using their search bar at the top center of the page so you can quickly and easily find what you are looking for. As with Evernote, you can access Google Drive from any device that you have the app installed, and you can add it as a virtual drive to your Desktop or Laptop.

Other cloud storage solutions such as Dropbox, OneDrive, and iCloud are just as easy.

Do you like this idea? What other documents and papers can you think of that would work as digital copy instead of causing paper clutter?

Come back tomorrow when I cover using Google Calendar to set routine maintenance and seasonal maintenance reminders.

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 10, 2015 07:00

31 Days To Better Domestic Service: Create a Butler’s Book For Stress-Free Entertaining

If you and your Dominant like to host parties then a butler’s book might be a great tool to make entertaining more organized, and fulfilling. Can’t remember if John likes board games, or if Lisa has an allergy to tomatoes? Your own butler’s book can house that information for you so that you can be an amazing host, time and time again!

What is a Butler’s Book?

I’m not really sure why we call it a butler’s book now, as the books used for household management by butlers likely have far more in them than party details about guests and decor ideas.

Each guest gets a page and as you get to know them, you fill it in with their likes, food and drink preferences and allergies and entertainment they enjoy. Then you can tailor your gatherings to the people who are attending. You’d have more details on people you are closer too, like family and partners, and have less information on those you only see socially. But the book can help you remember all those details you might overlook.

Now, a butler’s book isn’t just for entertaining, as you will see from my example page below, but you can customize it to what you need and desire for your own house.

Here’s my example of what a person’s page in a butler’s book might have in it.

Name, Preferred Name

Personal

Clothing (sizes, favorite colors, styles, ring/ankle/wrist sizes, storage of formal wear)

Contact Numbers (family, friends, emergency/health)

Drinks (water, soda, coffee, wine, liquor, other)

Education (colleges, degrees, languages, certifications)

Entertainment (TV shows, magazines, movies, books, plays, restaurants, computer, games)

Family (family tree)

Food (favorite foods, meals)

Friends (history of association)

Medical (allergies, blood type, dates of last physical, glasses/contacts, hospitals, doctors)

Music (genres, favorite songs)

Personal Care (shampoo/conditioner, toothpaste, lotions, perfumes)

Pets (medical, names)

Political (affiliations, group/clubs)

Religion (food restrictions, holidays)

Skills/Hobbies (certifications, groups/clubs)

Special Dates (birthday, anniversaries, collarings, deaths, divorces)

Likes/Dislikes/Notes

BDSM/Leather

Care (insert mini leather/toy care reference here)

Clothing (catalogue, favorite stores)

Club/Group Membership (offices held)

Events (past events, titles held, presentations given)

Play (proficiencies, scenes, fetishes)

Toys (catalogue, favorite stores)

Travel

Airlines (frequent flyer #’s, preferred airline, seat preference: aisle, window)

Hotels (favorites, prices, previous stays)

Packing checklist (food, medication, clothing, care items, toys)

Travel Entertainment (restaurants: opentable.com for reservations. shops, amusement parks)

Miscellaneous

What else goes in a Butler’s Book?

You aren’t limited to keeping a catalogue of your friends and collegues. Other ideas of things to store in your butler’s book include, fine china and silver cleaning instructions, party rental company listings, DIY decor ideas, proper place setting for different levels of protocol, a formal D/s dinner plan, gift-giving wishlists, record of hostess gifts and so much more. You are only limited by your imagination and the level of entertaining you do in your home.

What would you put in a butler’s book? Let me know in the comments!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on October 09, 2015 07:00

There’s No Size Limitation to Being Kinky

The other day, one of my friends on Facebook messaged me and asked me if she could ask me a question. Of course I told her yes and then she began to furiously type her question to me. After I read her situation, I asked her if I could reply later. I was in class and on my tablet and I couldn’t devote the time I wanted to for her answer and again, lengthy answers on a mobile device isn’t an easy thing to do. She told me of course and for the rest of the day, I found myself thinking about what my response would be. I had a ballpark idea of what I wanted to say to her, but not specifics. When I got home, I knew what I wanted to say.

This is what I was asked by my friend, and of course, I have her permission to share this.

I’ve been getting heavier and heavier because of my medications. I’ve gained a LOT of weight. Because of this I’ve actually come to accept my weight. But when it comes to my spanking desires, my weight really bothers me. No matter what I tell myself, even if I found the right partner, and no matter how much I want it, the thought of my weight and my shape disgusts me. I have this natural underlying belief that if I’m not skinny then I don’t deserve to be spanked and that it’s somehow an abomination. I know this is ridiculous, but it’s really deeply ingrained. It almost makes me hope I never find the right partner so that I don’t have to disappoint them.

When I read this, I feel like I had been flung ten years into the past when I first got involved in the lifestyle and playing with others. I was so self-conscious about my weight, I automatically assumed no one would want anything to do with me. Who wants a short fat girl if you can have someone who looks more like a supermodel? This really made me think about the first time I was with my first ever dominant and also the first time I had ever gotten naked in front of a man. All I could think was thank gawd for that purple lace bra and matching thong. Those little pieces of material gave me enough courage to finally step out of the bathroom in front of him. He knew long before we met that I’m a big girl, but even though he already knew and had seen pictures, and that we had spent some time talking before we even went to the hotel room to scene, I was still terrified of being rejected due to my figure. So, I knew exactly where my friend’s mindset is. Even though I’ve been with Daddy as long as I have, there are still times where He goes to rub my belly or thighs, and I find myself flinching because I’m afraid of Him being repulsed by my body, and believe me, I know He’s not, but it’s still there in the back of my mind.

I told her several things. Including that I know exactly how she feels because I’ve been there too many times to count in the past. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to play parties and wondered just how big my ass looked being bent over a spanking bench or while I was strapped to a St. Andrew’s cross. I also told her it doesn’t help with society’s constant bombardment of “YOU HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE ACCEPTED BY SOCIETY” messages that are everywhere and the fact that in most BDSM erotica that pretty much 99.5% of the main female characters are tend to be a bit on the small side. I know the authors don’t do that on purpose, but in my opinion, it’s something that readers may get on a subconscious level, that if you’re bigger than a certain size, you can’t participate in these kinds of activities. I gave her a couple of different ideas on how to overcome this by talking a lot with her potential partner as well as starting out wearing clothing and then progressing to stages of undress, and most importantly, working on self acceptance.

I asked her to allow me to share this with Submissive Guide readers because I know if she’s dealing with this issue, who knows how many are having this same problem and are too afraid to ask for help. I know completely how scared it is to admit that you’re having this problem. You’re afraid of being told that you need to lose weight and then offered 1,001 different pieces of diet advice that you’re not at all interested in receiving. Like I have said in the past, there’s no right or wrong way to live or practice the BDSM lifestyle. Also, there’s no right or wrong size either. You will see people in dungeons and play parties, and on Fetlife of all kinds of sizes, ranging from a size 2 to a size 28 and your size doesn’t make you any less deserving of being spanked, tied up, or whatever kinky activity you’re into. If at anytime, a potential partner tells you you’re too small or too big to do something, tell them to kiss your fabulous backside and find someone who is more worried about having a good time than the shape of your body.

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

View more on Luna Carruthers's website »

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Published on October 08, 2015 07:00