Pat Hatt's Blog, page 191
July 18, 2014
Round Twenty Four Take The Tour!
So they are here to give your summer some cheer, or maybe fear, either way the search engine nuts once again kick things into gear. They must like their fame and having everyone know that they are rather scary and/or lame.
"i love round ass"
My, aren't you picky. So flat ass is icky?
"i had a nickel verse speaking"
If I had a nickel,
Instead of a pickle,
I'd be in the know,
My bank account would grow.
"boobie prize"
Word to the wise, those aren't pies.
"Stuck in an elevator with music in my head"
Damn, why did you get out of bed? That has to cause dread.
"laws are meant to be poked full of holes."
But they don't use paper any more. Good luck at your shore.
"snow is my friend."
Go away! Keith, I know it is you at my bay.
"so many pretty flowers on the wall."
Hmm nope, not a one here. Are you staring at a flowery rear?
"My dog just ate my toe."
Ouch to that. But better to eat your toe than a cat.
"True wandering places I wonder."
Truedessa, did you make them wonder? Maybe their brains you decided to plunder?
"Slick shit goes two ways."
Hmmm a crap maze? Why do you gaze?
"The power of a gun in my hand."
Yep, nut jobs r us have found my land. Maybe they'll shoot off their hand.
"Easter bunny flopper."
Is that like an Easter copper? Bet it's a heart stopper.
"how many times to I have to say it....."
Maybe if you said it then you wouldn't have a question fit.
"Can I really stick it up there?"
And how did you find my lair? Take the probe and go to the fair.
Now the cat will leave you with the winner of this round. He or she can really astound. I bet they live at the pound. Maybe there this search engine query was found? Either way, they are sure to brighten your day, or scare you away, come what may.
"Scared I peed myself and washed the stain with a tongue."
Yuck and yuck some more. Think twice before a tongue gets near you at your shore. Aren't you glad you came for this search engine pass? They were all so clever that they had to impress you liked they impressed my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
"i love round ass"
My, aren't you picky. So flat ass is icky?
"i had a nickel verse speaking"
If I had a nickel,
Instead of a pickle,
I'd be in the know,
My bank account would grow.
"boobie prize"
Word to the wise, those aren't pies.
"Stuck in an elevator with music in my head"
Damn, why did you get out of bed? That has to cause dread.
"laws are meant to be poked full of holes."
But they don't use paper any more. Good luck at your shore.
"snow is my friend."
Go away! Keith, I know it is you at my bay.
"so many pretty flowers on the wall."
Hmm nope, not a one here. Are you staring at a flowery rear?
"My dog just ate my toe."
Ouch to that. But better to eat your toe than a cat.
"True wandering places I wonder."
Truedessa, did you make them wonder? Maybe their brains you decided to plunder?
"Slick shit goes two ways."
Hmmm a crap maze? Why do you gaze?
"The power of a gun in my hand."
Yep, nut jobs r us have found my land. Maybe they'll shoot off their hand.
"Easter bunny flopper."
Is that like an Easter copper? Bet it's a heart stopper.
"how many times to I have to say it....."
Maybe if you said it then you wouldn't have a question fit.
"Can I really stick it up there?"
And how did you find my lair? Take the probe and go to the fair.
Now the cat will leave you with the winner of this round. He or she can really astound. I bet they live at the pound. Maybe there this search engine query was found? Either way, they are sure to brighten your day, or scare you away, come what may.
"Scared I peed myself and washed the stain with a tongue."
Yuck and yuck some more. Think twice before a tongue gets near you at your shore. Aren't you glad you came for this search engine pass? They were all so clever that they had to impress you liked they impressed my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 17, 2014
Top Ten In Pencil Not Pen!
It seems everywhere you go there is some list all set up in a nice neat row. The top ten things to eat. The top ten ways to clean your feet. The top ten movies this year. The top ten ways to wipe your rear. They just show and show. Let's make them eat crow.
A top ten list,
Not to be missed.
Raises your eyes,
Become more wise.
Who really cares,
If your food has hairs.
The top ten places to eat,
Beats top ten ways to wash your feet.
Maybe the feet thing would work,
If in Betsy's toe thing you lurk.
But back on point,
Toward each top ten joint.
This top ten says on thing,
That one gives another ring.
This one gives another one.
Aren't top tens fun?
Each top ten list,
That can't be missed,
Has a top ten not the same.
Each making a different top ten claim.
On the very same thing.
Like giving food a ring.
Top ten to lose weight.
All give a different plate.
When you just have to eat less, move more.
I guess top two has a bad ring at ones shore.
Have to have that top ten.
But wait! It is not written in pen.
The top ten will change.
That is not strange.
Found a new one.
Now it is a top twenty run.
Or maybe still top ten,
We got rid of the hen.
That was not tops in the first place.
A false top ten case?
People like pretty numbers,
With brains like cucumbers.
Top ten ways to top that.
Whack one over the head with a bat.
Ready to make a top ten list? You could make people pissed. They might be mad if your top ten list is different from another pad. Top ten ways to piss people off. Hmm 100's of ways to make them scoff. But the cat will save that for another pass with my top one little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
A top ten list,
Not to be missed.
Raises your eyes,
Become more wise.
Who really cares,
If your food has hairs.
The top ten places to eat,
Beats top ten ways to wash your feet.
Maybe the feet thing would work,
If in Betsy's toe thing you lurk.
But back on point,
Toward each top ten joint.
This top ten says on thing,
That one gives another ring.
This one gives another one.
Aren't top tens fun?
Each top ten list,
That can't be missed,
Has a top ten not the same.
Each making a different top ten claim.
On the very same thing.
Like giving food a ring.
Top ten to lose weight.
All give a different plate.
When you just have to eat less, move more.
I guess top two has a bad ring at ones shore.
Have to have that top ten.
But wait! It is not written in pen.
The top ten will change.
That is not strange.
Found a new one.
Now it is a top twenty run.
Or maybe still top ten,
We got rid of the hen.
That was not tops in the first place.
A false top ten case?
People like pretty numbers,
With brains like cucumbers.
Top ten ways to top that.
Whack one over the head with a bat.
Ready to make a top ten list? You could make people pissed. They might be mad if your top ten list is different from another pad. Top ten ways to piss people off. Hmm 100's of ways to make them scoff. But the cat will save that for another pass with my top one little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 16, 2014
The Dumb Band Talk About Sand!
So the cat was out and about from his sea and he really had to pee. I found the big litterbox you call a beach and satisfaction was in reach. Do not worry though. I buried it good and deep at my show. Then I saw the nuts. They really have sniffed one too many butts.
"Gung, how does sand get on the beach?"
"I don't know, Ho. Maybe by some giant's reach?"
"So a giant comes and dumps sand and makes it?"
"That is my best guess. Think it is a hit?"
The two discussed a giant placing sand all across the land. They yapped and yapped, then their arms flapped. Yep, they flapped around like a bird. The two were really absurd.
"Maybe a giant with wings flapped around and turned rocks into sand?"
"Gung, that would be grand."
"Just think about a giant rock crusher in our pocket."
"We could make enough sand to build a sand rocket."
"Ho, let's get that giant and go into the sand business today!"
"Gung, that is the best idea ever, I say."
The two climbed rocks and gave Gawker type gawks. They searched high and low for a giant to show. Yep, they searched low. Maybe the meaning of giant is lost on those with a brain of a crow. Wait! Haven't we been there? No repeats at my lair.
"Gung, the rock crushing giant is nowhere to be seen."
"Maybe we need to make more of a scene?"
"Gung, I have it! Let's pretend we are giant rocks in a sand pit."
"That is a great idea, Ho. The rock crushing giant is sure to show."
Gung sat like a big boulder on the beach while Ho sat like a small one in his reach. They sat there for hours on end. They were there so long I had to repeat what brought me to this bend. I figured I could give them a wake up call. So I went by them and did not bury it at all.
"Ho, did you feel that? A giant just went splat."
"Gung, he must be hiding in the ocean and splatted us with his constant motion."
The two ran toward the water as fast as they could. I guess you cannot expect the brainless to really be understood. They splashed and swam and searched away. They did it so much they finally sank into the bay. Maybe the cat is rid of them for good? I doubt it, they will be back at my hood. I grabbed some nearby bass and wiggled home with my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
"Gung, how does sand get on the beach?"
"I don't know, Ho. Maybe by some giant's reach?"
"So a giant comes and dumps sand and makes it?"
"That is my best guess. Think it is a hit?"
The two discussed a giant placing sand all across the land. They yapped and yapped, then their arms flapped. Yep, they flapped around like a bird. The two were really absurd.
"Maybe a giant with wings flapped around and turned rocks into sand?"
"Gung, that would be grand."
"Just think about a giant rock crusher in our pocket."
"We could make enough sand to build a sand rocket."
"Ho, let's get that giant and go into the sand business today!"
"Gung, that is the best idea ever, I say."
The two climbed rocks and gave Gawker type gawks. They searched high and low for a giant to show. Yep, they searched low. Maybe the meaning of giant is lost on those with a brain of a crow. Wait! Haven't we been there? No repeats at my lair.
"Gung, the rock crushing giant is nowhere to be seen."
"Maybe we need to make more of a scene?"
"Gung, I have it! Let's pretend we are giant rocks in a sand pit."
"That is a great idea, Ho. The rock crushing giant is sure to show."
Gung sat like a big boulder on the beach while Ho sat like a small one in his reach. They sat there for hours on end. They were there so long I had to repeat what brought me to this bend. I figured I could give them a wake up call. So I went by them and did not bury it at all.
"Ho, did you feel that? A giant just went splat."
"Gung, he must be hiding in the ocean and splatted us with his constant motion."
The two ran toward the water as fast as they could. I guess you cannot expect the brainless to really be understood. They splashed and swam and searched away. They did it so much they finally sank into the bay. Maybe the cat is rid of them for good? I doubt it, they will be back at my hood. I grabbed some nearby bass and wiggled home with my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 15, 2014
Bring On The Baiting To Up The Rating!
So the cat saw the other day at that other bay the dumb news on display. With no cable near here we do not have to watch that crap as it hops across the map. But it was on and there was a story and the newscasters seemed to be in all their glory.
How does it feel?
Care to spin the weather wheel?
We need to know.
Viewers need to be high not low.
What went through your mind?
Were the words mean or kind?
Do you blame anyone for this?
Come on, fess up, Miss.
Don't you see this mic?
We need the ratings to spike.
So tell all now.
People want to go wow.
Did you attempt to stop it?
Come on, elaborate a bit.
That is okay, let the tears flow,
It just makes for a better show.
What are you thankful for?
Are you glad you live by the shore?
Can you ever forget it?
That's okay, throw a fit.
Wave your arms in the air.
Make the story more rare.
Feel free to bend the truth too.
Surely more views will come due.
Could you repeat that?
You sounded kinda flat.
We can fix it in the final cut.
We will make you look like King Tut.
Don't you want your time?
Give us a great chime.
Get your 15 minutes of fame.
Everyone, everywhere will know your name.
Just let us know how you felt?
Did you die inside or did things melt?
Are you ever going to share?
Here, let me fix your hair.
Thanks for the scoop.
It will soon be on loop,
Shown 50 times a day.
What was that you had to say?
House burns down, family members disappears from town, dog gets hit by a car or you blow up a bar, they ask these dumb ass questions every time. How do they think it felt, like you are in your prime? Take the mic and whack them upside the head then repeat what they said. I bet they would say something crass. Keep the weirdo humans away from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
How does it feel?
Care to spin the weather wheel?
We need to know.
Viewers need to be high not low.
What went through your mind?
Were the words mean or kind?
Do you blame anyone for this?
Come on, fess up, Miss.
Don't you see this mic?
We need the ratings to spike.
So tell all now.
People want to go wow.
Did you attempt to stop it?
Come on, elaborate a bit.
That is okay, let the tears flow,
It just makes for a better show.
What are you thankful for?
Are you glad you live by the shore?
Can you ever forget it?
That's okay, throw a fit.
Wave your arms in the air.
Make the story more rare.
Feel free to bend the truth too.
Surely more views will come due.
Could you repeat that?
You sounded kinda flat.
We can fix it in the final cut.
We will make you look like King Tut.
Don't you want your time?
Give us a great chime.
Get your 15 minutes of fame.
Everyone, everywhere will know your name.
Just let us know how you felt?
Did you die inside or did things melt?
Are you ever going to share?
Here, let me fix your hair.
Thanks for the scoop.
It will soon be on loop,
Shown 50 times a day.
What was that you had to say?
House burns down, family members disappears from town, dog gets hit by a car or you blow up a bar, they ask these dumb ass questions every time. How do they think it felt, like you are in your prime? Take the mic and whack them upside the head then repeat what they said. I bet they would say something crass. Keep the weirdo humans away from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 14, 2014
Glitch of a Witch Scratches The Book Itch!
So here we are with another release at our sand bar. But this one is not so kiddie at our sea. This one includes all of thee. I mean a Thinkingcap Ass and a freaky Betsy half zombie lass, the kids should not read. In it, much surely takes seed.
You've got a rhyming cat,
But you knew that.
Pat, going crazy.
Who he is gets hazy.
Miss Priss all sassy.
Of course that's Cassie.
Duke Drazin the godly mook.
And enough candy to make anyone puke.
Then comes a Thinkingcap Ass,
Betsy the freaky half zombie lass.
WorqueenDan, who gets rather large.
Manzi the worm queen on a barge.
A naked ninja wannabe.
Yep, that is rather scary.
An optimistic nut.
Some beer guys in a rut.
The Irish are there.
Old One Eye gives a blue blare.
She gets birthed out an ass.
Yeah, that is rather crass.
Rosey, Terry and Thersa did it.
The three headed mutt was a hit.
Old Duckbill is there.
The Gawker and Gloria are slaves at Betsy's freaky lair.
All of that and more.
Plus the ending I never posted at my shore.
And about 20,000 words in rhyme.
That has to be a fun time.
Click here
for a peer.
Ready to get into Glitch of a Witch and feel that itch? She may cast a spell on you or just hit you with Worqueendan goo. Who really knows what comes to pass? Sure, beats my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
You've got a rhyming cat,
But you knew that.
Pat, going crazy.
Who he is gets hazy.
Miss Priss all sassy.
Of course that's Cassie.
Duke Drazin the godly mook.
And enough candy to make anyone puke.
Then comes a Thinkingcap Ass,
Betsy the freaky half zombie lass.
WorqueenDan, who gets rather large.
Manzi the worm queen on a barge.
A naked ninja wannabe.
Yep, that is rather scary.
An optimistic nut.
Some beer guys in a rut.
The Irish are there.
Old One Eye gives a blue blare.
She gets birthed out an ass.
Yeah, that is rather crass.
Rosey, Terry and Thersa did it.
The three headed mutt was a hit.
Old Duckbill is there.
The Gawker and Gloria are slaves at Betsy's freaky lair.
All of that and more.
Plus the ending I never posted at my shore.
And about 20,000 words in rhyme.
That has to be a fun time.
Click here
for a peer.Ready to get into Glitch of a Witch and feel that itch? She may cast a spell on you or just hit you with Worqueendan goo. Who really knows what comes to pass? Sure, beats my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 13, 2014
Another Few I See As They Fly Free!
The cat just can't get a nice sleep here at his keep. Always bothered by something at his sea. Now more future headlines seem to come to me. These ones are oh so great that I have to repeat such a fate.
2045: Woman trips on her shoe and dies!
I guess that brought out the flies.
2036: Car runs into deer, deer wins!
Those deer like to commit sins.
2068: Dogs forced to stop drooling!
Wow, no fooling?
3905: Dogs can drool again!
At least there was peace for a while at each den.
4035: Asteroid Olympics postponed!
I guess skills needed to be honed.
3046: Spoiled eggs cause sparkly farts.
Bet they are flying off the shelves of Wal Marts.
4024: OCD proven in humans everywhere.
That I already knew at my lair.
5298: The Earth is home to 50,000 alien cultures.
I hope none of them are spleen eating vultures.
3208: Camels become public transportation.
That has to be an aggravation.
4026: The dead can be brought back!
Oh no! It's a zombie attack.
2015: French fries kill 40,000 people this year!
Did they choke across the sphere?
3004: Brains are cloned and replaced!
I hope they are put back in well placed.
2056: Rats outnumbers humans 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1!
Damn, plenty for lunch as around they run.
3023: Trees no longer exist!
Mother nature must be pissed.
5043: Dripping water caused anxiety in alien towns!
I bet that got many alien frowns.
1: Humans can't count high any longer, time restarted!
I guess even the good cloned brain cells departed.
2048: Frogs invade small village!
Did they plunder and pillage?
4045: All politicians are now dead.
Was it off with their head?
3026: It's Rhyme Time still going strong!
Damn, I must have written more posts ahead than people in Hong Kong.
2052: X no longer a letter due to a remake of Xanadu!
The first crap time around wasn't enough for you?
There you are, plenty of things to look forward to near and far. Enjoy having posts from me for another 1000 and 12 years. I must rack up lots of cheers. Now I will go pass some non sparkly gas, unlike that Truedessa lass, out of my ever so news worthy little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
2045: Woman trips on her shoe and dies!
I guess that brought out the flies.
2036: Car runs into deer, deer wins!
Those deer like to commit sins.
2068: Dogs forced to stop drooling!
Wow, no fooling?
3905: Dogs can drool again!
At least there was peace for a while at each den.
4035: Asteroid Olympics postponed!
I guess skills needed to be honed.
3046: Spoiled eggs cause sparkly farts.
Bet they are flying off the shelves of Wal Marts.
4024: OCD proven in humans everywhere.
That I already knew at my lair.
5298: The Earth is home to 50,000 alien cultures.
I hope none of them are spleen eating vultures.
3208: Camels become public transportation.
That has to be an aggravation.
4026: The dead can be brought back!
Oh no! It's a zombie attack.
2015: French fries kill 40,000 people this year!
Did they choke across the sphere?
3004: Brains are cloned and replaced!
I hope they are put back in well placed.
2056: Rats outnumbers humans 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1!
Damn, plenty for lunch as around they run.
3023: Trees no longer exist!
Mother nature must be pissed.
5043: Dripping water caused anxiety in alien towns!
I bet that got many alien frowns.
1: Humans can't count high any longer, time restarted!
I guess even the good cloned brain cells departed.
2048: Frogs invade small village!
Did they plunder and pillage?
4045: All politicians are now dead.
Was it off with their head?
3026: It's Rhyme Time still going strong!
Damn, I must have written more posts ahead than people in Hong Kong.
2052: X no longer a letter due to a remake of Xanadu!
The first crap time around wasn't enough for you?
There you are, plenty of things to look forward to near and far. Enjoy having posts from me for another 1000 and 12 years. I must rack up lots of cheers. Now I will go pass some non sparkly gas, unlike that Truedessa lass, out of my ever so news worthy little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 12, 2014
A Giant Bald Cat At Every Mat!
So there was a study a while ago that said something interesting and thought they were in the know. It said cats see their humans as a giant bald cat. Hmmmm is all I can say to that.
We look and see,
When all is set free,
Meaning no clothes,
As you strike a pose.
That you are bald,
And we aren't appalled.
Even if the size of a bear,
Or you have some curly hair.
Cats see you as a giant cat.
What do you think of that?
How would you humans know?
Are you able to mind read at your show?
Did you go all probe,
Somewhere around the frontal lobe?
That is just mean,
Invading our dreaming scene.
So let's say it is true.
What do dogs view?
You as a giant bald pup?
My, you humans are screwed up.
Shifting from person to dog to cat,
To maybe even a ding bat.
I guess you have special powers.
Can you create rain showers?
Oh no!
Rain on the go.
What if rain sees you?
Are you giant water in view?
Maybe trees think you are a moving tree?
That must stir up some jealousy.
Can a car think you are a wimpy car?
Wait! Maybe that's the drunk at the corner bar.
Maybe a kid sees you as an elf,
Like that thing you stick on a shelf.
My, you can just change.
Does it hurt a lot to rearrange?
The cat says pffft to that.
You may be bald and your feet flat,
But you still do our bidding,
The bald cat thing had to be kidding.
So what do you think? Can cats see you as the missing link? A giant bald thing as you strut around at your wing? Hmmm on that I will pass as it is too scary a thought for my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
We look and see,
When all is set free,
Meaning no clothes,
As you strike a pose.
That you are bald,
And we aren't appalled.
Even if the size of a bear,
Or you have some curly hair.
Cats see you as a giant cat.
What do you think of that?
How would you humans know?
Are you able to mind read at your show?
Did you go all probe,
Somewhere around the frontal lobe?
That is just mean,
Invading our dreaming scene.
So let's say it is true.
What do dogs view?
You as a giant bald pup?
My, you humans are screwed up.
Shifting from person to dog to cat,
To maybe even a ding bat.
I guess you have special powers.
Can you create rain showers?
Oh no!
Rain on the go.
What if rain sees you?
Are you giant water in view?
Maybe trees think you are a moving tree?
That must stir up some jealousy.
Can a car think you are a wimpy car?
Wait! Maybe that's the drunk at the corner bar.
Maybe a kid sees you as an elf,
Like that thing you stick on a shelf.
My, you can just change.
Does it hurt a lot to rearrange?
The cat says pffft to that.
You may be bald and your feet flat,
But you still do our bidding,
The bald cat thing had to be kidding.
So what do you think? Can cats see you as the missing link? A giant bald thing as you strut around at your wing? Hmmm on that I will pass as it is too scary a thought for my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 11, 2014
Would You Ever Do Such An Endeavor?
The cat will grill you today here at his bay. You may have to think. Uh oh, some may be brought to the brink. So if things go to pot, or not, would you do any of the below lot?
Would you defy your boss?
That doesn't need a coin toss.
Would you ever eat a person if it was the only way to stay alive?
Hey, a guy or girl has to survive.
Would you ever become a criminal at your sea?
Like going on a Robin Hood type spree.
Would you ever eat rat meat?
The cat thinks it is a tasty treat.
Would you ever skydive?
You may not survive.
Would you ever bet the farm?
Gamblers anonymous says that is an alarm.
Would you ever hop a plane and meet someone you never met?
Already done by Pat as he left the pet.
Would you ever bungee jump?
Ouch, if you land on your rump.
Would you ever paint your rooms black?
Always night time at your shack.
Would you ever walk bare naked through town?
Hey, could win the crazy crown.
How about going to a nude beach?
I hear some of those are in reach.
Would you get a divorce if a famous person wanted to marry you?
Hmmm thinking what would happen if that were true.
Would you ever be a gold digger?
Hey, nice to make your wallet bigger.
Would you ever eat bugs?
Tasty ones can be found under rugs.
Would you ever out run a cop?
Those speeding tickets must stop.
Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker?
Just tell them they should bug a biker.
Would you ever wrestle a bear?
That would be quite the affair.
Would you ever cheat?
Spouse, test, whatever is neat?
Would you ever run for some political thing?
Then all could hear you sing.
Would you ever live in the Arctic snow?
Never ever at my show.
Would you ever take a bullet for someone?
That might hurt a ton.
Would you ever rhyme 365 posts a year?
To that I can give a cheer.
Did the cat make you think? Threw in all but the kitchen sink. How can you throw a kitchen sink anyway? It would be heavy and it's attached at your bay. That is another question added to the mass. I am just an inquisitive little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Would you defy your boss?
That doesn't need a coin toss.
Would you ever eat a person if it was the only way to stay alive?
Hey, a guy or girl has to survive.
Would you ever become a criminal at your sea?
Like going on a Robin Hood type spree.
Would you ever eat rat meat?
The cat thinks it is a tasty treat.
Would you ever skydive?
You may not survive.
Would you ever bet the farm?
Gamblers anonymous says that is an alarm.
Would you ever hop a plane and meet someone you never met?
Already done by Pat as he left the pet.
Would you ever bungee jump?
Ouch, if you land on your rump.
Would you ever paint your rooms black?
Always night time at your shack.
Would you ever walk bare naked through town?
Hey, could win the crazy crown.
How about going to a nude beach?
I hear some of those are in reach.
Would you get a divorce if a famous person wanted to marry you?
Hmmm thinking what would happen if that were true.
Would you ever be a gold digger?
Hey, nice to make your wallet bigger.
Would you ever eat bugs?
Tasty ones can be found under rugs.
Would you ever out run a cop?
Those speeding tickets must stop.
Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker?
Just tell them they should bug a biker.
Would you ever wrestle a bear?
That would be quite the affair.
Would you ever cheat?
Spouse, test, whatever is neat?
Would you ever run for some political thing?
Then all could hear you sing.
Would you ever live in the Arctic snow?
Never ever at my show.
Would you ever take a bullet for someone?
That might hurt a ton.
Would you ever rhyme 365 posts a year?
To that I can give a cheer.
Did the cat make you think? Threw in all but the kitchen sink. How can you throw a kitchen sink anyway? It would be heavy and it's attached at your bay. That is another question added to the mass. I am just an inquisitive little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
July 10, 2014
Flight Means Fight?
It is no wonder you humans can't get along. Not even those that have a song, who you all look up to, can get along at their zoo. So how can you? Have I confused you at my zoo? I will fix that in no time flat.
The world is going to end!
A not so clever plot twist trend.
But even if used to death,
Leaving the hero out of breath,
It seems no one likes the other.
Maybe in their sleep they want to smother?
Still confused?
Okay, don't want you to feel abused.
Spiderman needs to stop a bid bad.
He has gone all mad.
He will destroy the Earth.
He is a bad guy of worth.
But Superman doesn't care,
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are nowhere.
The X-Men are even away,
No one wants to come out to play.
The good guys can't help.
Only one for each bad guy yelp.
The Avengers aren't allowed in.
Not even Rin Tin Tin.
Some may be busy indeed.
But The Flash has super speed.
Whoops, not allowed to help out.
Let the bystanders scream and shout.
The gargoyles just watch on,
Even when not stone before dawn.
Jack Bauer doesn't even come out to play,
Bah! He's too busy saying damn it anyway.
James Bond won't help at all.
Gotta be that split personality at his hall.
The Rescue Rangers don't heed the call,
Even if they are less than a foot tall.
Even Murder He Wrote,
Castle is not around to take note.
They just all want the world to end,
Willing to let it go around the bend.
So Spiderman is all alone.
Tarsier Man doesn't even help at the tone.
What is it with such a plight?
Oh damn! It's copyright.
Ever think where the other ones are at your bar? Even in the same universe at play. They can't always be that far away. But I guess if 50 good guys swept in all the same time for the win, might get kind of boring and leave people snoring. So they have to go it alone and no one throws them a bone. Even if they have a super case of gas. That is all from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer,
The world is going to end!
A not so clever plot twist trend.
But even if used to death,
Leaving the hero out of breath,
It seems no one likes the other.
Maybe in their sleep they want to smother?
Still confused?
Okay, don't want you to feel abused.
Spiderman needs to stop a bid bad.
He has gone all mad.
He will destroy the Earth.
He is a bad guy of worth.
But Superman doesn't care,
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are nowhere.
The X-Men are even away,
No one wants to come out to play.
The good guys can't help.
Only one for each bad guy yelp.
The Avengers aren't allowed in.
Not even Rin Tin Tin.
Some may be busy indeed.
But The Flash has super speed.
Whoops, not allowed to help out.
Let the bystanders scream and shout.
The gargoyles just watch on,
Even when not stone before dawn.
Jack Bauer doesn't even come out to play,
Bah! He's too busy saying damn it anyway.
James Bond won't help at all.
Gotta be that split personality at his hall.
The Rescue Rangers don't heed the call,
Even if they are less than a foot tall.
Even Murder He Wrote,
Castle is not around to take note.
They just all want the world to end,
Willing to let it go around the bend.
So Spiderman is all alone.
Tarsier Man doesn't even help at the tone.
What is it with such a plight?
Oh damn! It's copyright.
Ever think where the other ones are at your bar? Even in the same universe at play. They can't always be that far away. But I guess if 50 good guys swept in all the same time for the win, might get kind of boring and leave people snoring. So they have to go it alone and no one throws them a bone. Even if they have a super case of gas. That is all from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer,
July 9, 2014
Meaning Lost Or Just Tossed?
So the cat was out and about when Old One Eye gave a shout. It was be happy day at each and every bay. They even call it a holiday. Hmmm not off work with pay. Nope, just another day. Now with this we will play.
Let's make a day,
To join the fray.
A brand new holiday.
Come out to play.
Suck a finger day!
Place it sometime in May.
It can go hand and hand,
With Mother's day across the land.
Be glad day!
Not happy, no way!
Just be glad,
Between happy and mad.
Wait! That is wrong.
Mediocre day sings that song.
Do things half assed.
It will be a blast.
Litterbox cleaning day!
Make it a brand new tray.
Clean and spit shine.
Impress every feline.
Say no day!
Go no all the way.
Want a millionaire dollar check?
No! Leaves you in a wreck.
Smash a printer day!
Find a sunny ray,
Place the printer there,
And join in on the affair.
Stink eye everyone day!
Crazy from bay to bay.
All with a look,
You could wind up a crook.
Sing like a fish day!
Fishes sing? Umm okay!
Let's go with that.
Beats singing like a rat.
Then the best of all,
To be celebrated at every hall,
Do Nothing Day!
Ready to here that play by play?
See! The cat can do it to. I can make days up and call them a holiday at my zoo. They are just as relevant as be happy day. Like telling you that you have bills to pay. Or that it's take a dump day. You do all of that anyway. Pointless as can be at each and every sea. Maybe they just had a bad case of holiday gas? Sure beats my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Let's make a day,
To join the fray.
A brand new holiday.
Come out to play.
Suck a finger day!
Place it sometime in May.
It can go hand and hand,
With Mother's day across the land.
Be glad day!
Not happy, no way!
Just be glad,
Between happy and mad.
Wait! That is wrong.
Mediocre day sings that song.
Do things half assed.
It will be a blast.
Litterbox cleaning day!
Make it a brand new tray.
Clean and spit shine.
Impress every feline.
Say no day!
Go no all the way.
Want a millionaire dollar check?
No! Leaves you in a wreck.
Smash a printer day!
Find a sunny ray,
Place the printer there,
And join in on the affair.
Stink eye everyone day!
Crazy from bay to bay.
All with a look,
You could wind up a crook.
Sing like a fish day!
Fishes sing? Umm okay!
Let's go with that.
Beats singing like a rat.
Then the best of all,
To be celebrated at every hall,
Do Nothing Day!
Ready to here that play by play?
See! The cat can do it to. I can make days up and call them a holiday at my zoo. They are just as relevant as be happy day. Like telling you that you have bills to pay. Or that it's take a dump day. You do all of that anyway. Pointless as can be at each and every sea. Maybe they just had a bad case of holiday gas? Sure beats my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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