Pat Hatt's Blog, page 176

The Fools Are Back On The Book Attack!

They just can't stay away, still sailing the bay. I guess Bora Bora is a mythical place or could be too ordinary for them to embrace. But at least it stars the cat. So I am okay with that.


A collar for the cat?Nope, it is not that.Truedessa let loose a sparkly fart.It trapped the cat in the shape of a heart.

She tried to suck up to me.It did not work on this kitty. Pat fell for it though.He is gullible you know.

Then we all found this naked guy.He could lift boulders rather high.Truedessa was staring some place else though. The cat saw her look at his umm glow.

Then came demon fart guy.He loved Truedessa, no lie.He wanted their farts to meld together.They sure could create smelly weather.

But this guy wanted them both.Things really went south.I mean a three headed mutt?That isn't allowed at any hut.

Truedessa got ghosts to flow.How? Damned if I know.They went round and round,Making their ghostly sound.

I just ate this guy.Or gave it a try.He was rather boney.One big phony.

Pat thought one fart person was enough.So he started to get rough.Poor fart demon with no tail.That thing sure could wail.

The ghost even helped Pat get fresh air.That is sure rather rare.It was rather happy to do it.I guess even the spirits smell a bit.
Click here for a peer.There is no need to fear.Just a ghost and a three headed dog.Can blow one away and occupy the other with a brown log.
Yeah, the cat made that all up at his sea. Truedessa doesn't have such power with things that are sparkly. Instead they had to fight Hades and his bad guys. What? I'm allowed to tell lies. My version was more fun and a little more crass. Oh well, it works for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Ever Wonder Why Somewhere Upon High?

So have you ever wondered why Santa is so jolly at your sea? I bet you have, just like me. What was your deduction that came due? I will tell you with one hundred percent certainty why at my zoo.

Is it because he is kind?
Nope, not why jolly you find.
Even with bad grammar at my sea,
He still is not jolly.

Because he has so many pets?
They could out number the Mets.
Maybe those reindeer could win as well.
But nope, not why he's jolly as hell.

Because he gets cookies all the time?
He long ago got out of his prime.
They just make him want to give a call,
To any weight watchers near his hall.

Because he can sing cheery songs?
Who doesn't like sing a longs?
Yeah, that would be the cat.
So nope, not that.

Those elves he has as slaves?
Cheap labor saves.
That may make him happy,
But the elves are too yappy.

Because he has magic?
Nah, that is a bit tragic.
Has to go down chimney's everywhere.
Just imagine what is in there.

Because he gets played by 100's of guys,
Who just love his jolly disguise?
Nope, he doesn't like the fakes.
Ever wonder why there are earthquakes?

Because he gets movies made of him?
Nope, too many are grim.
I mean Ernest P. World saved the day.
That right there can cause dismay.

Is it because he has a nice ride?
Nope, in it he may take pride.
But that is about it.
The flying may make him happy a bit.

But the real reason is easy as can be.
He already knows at every single sea,
Where the older naughty girls live.
He goes there to umm forgive.

There you go, mystery solved at my show. Now you know what he does the other 364 days of the year. No wonder he has such Christmas cheer. All those cookies must cause quite the amount of gas. Bet it is way more than what comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Umm Okay, That Game Two Can Play!

The cat was looking at his stats the other day, have to keep track of the search engine nuts to use at my bay, and Canadians visited me less then British Indian Ocean Territory people I will confess. Umm errr okay. Never even knew there was such a bay.

British Indian Ocean Territory is there.
They come and stare.
They stop at my lair.
What do I care.

Let them come and go.
Fine by my show.
But I want a territory too.
Seems easy enough to do.

I'll pick a reef in the ocean,
One that has no commotion,
Then stick a flag on it.
Or a bag, but we already did that bit.

The cat will name it Orlinia.
Beats something like Cassiopeia.
That woman gets to hang upside down.
That must make her frown.

But wait! That is too plain.
I have to bored the territory train.
Orlinia Atlantic Ocean Territory.
It will show off in all its glory.

There you can fish all day.
You can swim in the bay.
Even make friends with sharks.
Watch it, they can leave marks.

You can sit on my nice rocks.
None of them have locks.
They may cause some hurt to your feet,
And maybe your rump when you take a seat.

But that is just fine.
You can enjoy the kingdom of the feline.
There is even a money tree.
To bad it is money from Monopoly.

But hey, it is there.
Come and visit my lair.
I need tourists to bring in the dough.
There isn't much industry there you know.

For a limited time, like forever, you can get there,
For $8649.22 for a pair.
Come visit Orlinia Atlantic Ocean Territory,
You'll go home with quite the story.

Now don't you want to visit Orlinia Atlantic Ocean Territory today? I get my very own bay. All thanks to British Indian Ocean Territory people stalking me. I hope they have a bigger rock to stand on in the sea. If it does not have much mass they can come and join the territory of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Round Twenty Nine As The Crazies Align!

So the search engine crazies are near. I guess they need some holiday cheer. Although I would not want to join their party at all. They would sure send you do the crazy or death's hall.

floccinaucinihilipilification wanna choke google

Choking Google might be tough but could be easier than saying that stuff.

blow jobs in bus

Are they better there than home with no underwear?

barney und seine freunde

Not sure Google can psycho analyze your habit. Do I hear a dang nabbit?

get kinky with dinky

So I guess small things work great for you when you mate.

men eating lollipops in bed

Do I really wanna know. I vote no.

patt hatt rhyme time

Looking for poor Pat and all you found was the cat.

hipnotis six pack

So you are hypnotizing beer. Do beer you fear?

a rip into show boobs caught babes

Poor guy wanted porn and all he got was my sea. I should make t-shirts with that and give them away for free.

"i love my wagon my little red wagon go

This wagon guy keeps coming back. I guess he lost his little red wagon at his shack.

men in the act of labor

Oh where that could go. And I still don't want to know.

Surprise I am wise

Talking to a search engine is wise. Damn, your brain must take to the skies.

Simple life acts cause simpletons 

And there is the case and point at my joint.

Score on for beer and ice cream and happy pills

Score on you say, who won at your bay.

Why would a woodchuck chuck wood

Maybe he is misunderstood? Do I look like a woodchuck at my hood?

And the winner is a real sinner. Then again aren't they all here at my hall? You may want to look away if you just ate. I warned you, mate.

My son ate raccoon poop, should I worry
Kids will eat the darnest things. I guess they have to give dogs a run for their money for the eat anything kings. I'd suggest a stomach pump though. That is just soooo eww at my show. Not sure how they found me with such a pass, but keep the raccoon poop eater away from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Things You Can Say Around The Holiday!

So the cat is back once more with things you can say at his shore. This one is things you can say about Santa Claus, that you can't say about your partner without them bringing out the claws.

That was quite the ho-ing.
Maybe a midnight showing,
With you strung up.
Can't blame that on the pup.

That is one small candy cane.
May give an ego pain.
No gift for you,
Will surely come due.

Come sit on my lap.
May get you a slap.
Or even the clap.
Or thrown in jail like a sap.

Want to trim my tree?
Oh into the gutter sea.
Where did you go?
Not high but low?

The gift that keeps on giving.
May not leave you living.
If it is an std.
Hey, at least it's free.

Your tummy shakes like a bowl full of jelly.
You may end up rather smelly,
As in dead in the ground,
And never ever be found.

That suit really brings out your chubby cheeks.
Could get a few eeks.
Or maybe a slap upside the head.
Don't think you'll end up dead.

Want to pet my reindeer?
Could get an oh dear.
Or maybe one will come near.
And nibble your umm ear.

I left this carrot out all night.
Could leave one with a fright.
Especially if you used paint.
The seer may faint.

The chimney is very dirty.
Things won't get flirty.
A kick may come due.
Unless you have a dirty chimney too.

And there you are. Now you know at your bar to reference Santa Claus or out could come the bear paws. Any other ones you would add? Feel free to do so at my pad. Now I will go pass a little gas out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Limit Or Ten At My Den!

So humans are fun as always this time of year, they go over, or right up to, their credit card limit without fear. But that you knew. What about other limits that come due?

Computer has an issue.
They give it a tissue.
They groan and moan,
As it gives an error tone.

They fix and they fix,
Trying all kinds of tricks.
With the money and time wasted,
A new one could have been tasted.

Same with the car,
Or any other gadget by far.
If it can be fixed easy and/or right away.
Well then okay!

But to the rest.
They have to test and test.
Down the drain time and money.
I sit back and think it funny.

The same thing I say at the start,
Throw it to the wind like a fart,
They do anyway in the end,
As to the dump they hit send.

Or excuse the cat,
The reuse, reduce, recycle mat.
Have to keep a good face for the kiddies about.
You never know, they might be out.

Anyway, back on task.
Limits, you really need to ask?
Let's gamble and win!
Oh my I could fill a money bin.

But I want to win more and more.
Oopsy, broke now at your shore.
No only the mechanical things,
But themselves at their wings.

My, humans are strange,
I guess they lost their spare change.
As in what is up there.
Brains for those slow at their lair.

And then some test their limits too,
Lifting and pulling at their zoo.
Oopsy, there goes the back.
Maybe their head needs a whack?

The cat could go on and on at his sea. But then he might, even more, offend thee. Humans are so fickle.Then again they do eat a pickle. The cat finds that nasty and it gives him gas. So ends my limit knowing, most times, little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Even A Job Picking Corn Off A Cob!

Have you ever noticed a thing at each and every wing? That no matter what job comes from summer to spring, there is always someone around that will do the thing? Some even whistle and sing.

A bull fighter is needed.
That job can be seeded.
A dog pooper scooper is had,
That person must be mad.

A pilot for a big death trap,
Takes many a lap.
The tole booth change guy,
Sits and stares at the sky.

A nuke bomb maker,
Even has a taker.
A crossing guard comes due.
I've seen one or two.

An actor with the skill of a gnat,
Can be fake and all of that.
A construction sign holder,
Making you stop while you grow older.

An on air Priest,
Saying give so he can feast.
A grocery store bagger is there,
Even has to bag underwear.

Some fashion guru crap,
Makes me want to nap.
A celebrity impersonator umm guy,
Gives off some sort of cry.

A vet that is so great,
Sticking thermometers up my ass is their fate.
A long haul trucker umm long hauling.
I wonder how that becomes a calling?

A author that sells a ton.
Damn, not under my sun.
A kitty litter maker.
They are a real mover and shaker.

A doctor who looks over humans all day.
That has to be a scary display.
The guy who picks up the trash.
It is sure gone in a flash.

The school teacher we teaches each day,
Getting summers off to play.
The blogger who works a ton,
And still makes less than each and every one.

No wonder there are so many welfare bums out there. They are too disgusted by cleaning toilets at their lair. So instead they would rather starve. Maybe a house out of a tree they could carve? There are jobs for everything and everyone in mass. I guess they just have to have standards like my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Scrooged At Your Sea? Join the Spree!

Scrooge seems to have caught on. Humans are becoming Scrooge from dusk until dawn. Are you a Scrooge at your sea? It is okay to admit it as all of these guys let their Scrooge fly free.


First he appeared in black and white.I guess ghosts then were still a fright.Even if they were the same shade.Maybe it was the ooo's and aaa's they made?

 Then there was one before a bank.He played chess with each money rank.One game I'd want to win.Taking all that home to my bin.

The you have the pajama one.This Scrooge is just no fun.He won't even spring for clothes.You can see things as the wind blows.

 Then you have the pucker up one.He is such a pucker-er come rain or sun.No, he does not want a kiss.He wants to make sure his money isn't amiss.

Even Professor X gets in on it.He has such a Scrooge fit.Then again he does run the X-Men,So he needs a giant den. 

Beast is a scrooge too.Who really knew?He isn't even blue.At least color wise in view.

Scrooge got to a Ghostbuster.I guess it has its luster.No wonder he won't do three,He'd have to forget his Scrooge spree.

Alfred is a Scrooge too.Maybe he steals at his zoo?Bruce Wayne does have enough money after all.Could take it when Batman answers the call.

Ace Ventura went all Scrooge as well.He must have damned animals to Hell.I bet he has one in his stew pot. He looks pissed that he was caught.

Even a Scrooge duck,That hoards plenty a buck.All others bow down to his dough.Hey, cartoons, like money, are paper too you know.
So never fear if the Scrooge bug comes near, you are in good company at your sea. Everyone from a duck to Professor X takes a Scrooge spree. Did you know so many Scrooges were about? I just had to help you out. Now I am done with my Scrooge mass. No, I'm usually not, a Scrooge like little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Path You Make With Steps You Take!

The cat got asked the other day if I thought there was a plan in place for every bay. So for 7 billion people or so, a path would be made whether high or low. Hmmm maybe, maybe not. But it would sure help those with brain rot.

A path for me,
Is there with glee.
A path for you,
Has glee too.

But then it has crap,
To fill the gap.
Can't know glee,
Without a crap sea?

A likely excuse,
Made up by a moose?
Or was that Yogi Bear?
What do I care.

But if that were the case,
For everyone all over the place,
Then why move at all?
You could just sit at your hall.

My path is to sit.
To get up and shit.
Then sit back down,
After dropping the brown.

Easy as can be.
That is the path of me.
But then I take a step out the door.
Now my path is to explore.

Oh wait!
That must be fate.
Or something else I guess.
This is becoming a mess.

Throw karma in too.
You offended the loo.
It is coming after you.
That is why the bad comes due.

Or is it all in your head?
Find out when you drop dead.
Or maybe you will not,
And just become dry rot.

Choice has no matter.
Just sit and get fatter.
Maybe become a mad hatter.
Time for a new batter.

So does the cat think a path is predetermined that we can't change? Hell no! One can easily rearrange. If there are unlimited alternate realities out there. Then you will go down every conceivable path at your lair. Just a human trait to explain away their path with sass. But I could be a wrong little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Crazy Much, With The Touch And Such?

The cat was out and about the other day and no, Gung and Ho weren't on display. Instead there were humans that were just as crazy. Maybe their brains are a little hazy?

A pretty slot machine.
It is all nice and clean.
I am going to win,
Because clean isn't a sin.

Err ummm right!
If that was the case at any site,
My OCD would be a millionaire.
Go choke on some cat hair.

Line one is a bar,
Line 2 is one by far.
If I put my finger on line three,
Another bar you will see.

Pffft okay!
You touch it and it goes your way.
Are you a bit drunk?
Your brains have surely sunk.

Nice machine, let me win.
You don't want to do me in.
Be good in this spin.
I will share my gin.

Yep, talk to a mechanical device.
It will be oh so nice.
It will eat your money,
And laugh at you like you're funny.

With my uber secret book,
I will win at every casino nook.
Don't look at my uber secret book.
Buy one of the thousands of copies if you want a look.

So uber secret anyone can buy it?
And yet no jackpots are hit?
The uber secret is the thousands who buy,
Are making rich the author girl or guy.

My system can't be beat.
I will leave the casino in defeat.
No one has thought of this before.
This is something of lore.

Pffft right once again.
You just have a magic pen.
If you really believe that,
Then your brain cells went scat.

Yep, you find all the nuts at the casino, thinking they have a great special way to win dough. But the casino is the only winner, as gamblers go home unable to afford dinner. Counting cards is the only way, but that is frowned upon at their bay. Still better odds than the lottery though, but the odds of winning a ton are still low. The only green most will ever see is the grass, which is tasty to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.