Pat Hatt's Blog, page 172
January 24, 2015
A Little One Way There On Display!
Ever notice how Americans, and Canadians, are so scared of a naked view? Like it is some bid bad thing coming due. Yeah, some may be scary and some may be too hairy, but oh friggin no! It's what you already have at your show.
You can murder and maim,
No need to keep it tame.
Let Rambo shoot and kill,
It just brings a thrill.
Let barf worthy Saw,
Barf as in making such trash should be against the law,
And its 50 sequels come due.
Killing a bazillion every which way up the gazoo.
That is all fine and dandy.
Hey, there can even be killer candy.
But then oh no!
An ass is about to show.
That just can't be.
That is so scary.
I can't see mine,
Unless you are a feline,
So it is so rare.
I don't want to see it's glare.
Whether pale, tanned or otherwise,
Hide that and the thighs.
Man boobs are okay.
We don't need to look away.
Maybe its a magic trick?
Until, yikes, they whip out the umm wick.
Not that it is something I wish to see,
But again, whoopie.
If you are of age to watch it,
Then your eyes have taken such a hit.
Either you have one of your own,
Or seen one when you umm err are alone.
So again, oh friggin no!
It is such a scary show.
Then comes the best ever.
The bed sheet is so clever.
It blocks everything when she walks away.
But oh yes, our film is true to life, they say.
Bed sheets must get lots of action.
Damn, they must end up in traction.
Getting ripped off the bed,
To cover things below the head.
Again, if able to watch you've seen,
But still people whine it is obscene.
That just can't be.
Nakedness is oh so scary.
And what does it come back to?
At least sometimes in view.
Lazy ass parents who whine when their kids watch it,
Because they use the TV as a babysitter and then pitch a fit.
North America can blow things away but far be it for an ass or something to be on display. That is just oh so wrong. Not that it is needed at all for a movie to be strong. But if it fits within the movie and not just thrown in for this and that, then whoopdi friggin doo says the cat. Animals are burdened with seeing naked humans every day, about time you got the same display. Not like it hasn't been seen in mass. At least that is the rant from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
You can murder and maim,
No need to keep it tame.
Let Rambo shoot and kill,
It just brings a thrill.
Let barf worthy Saw,
Barf as in making such trash should be against the law,
And its 50 sequels come due.
Killing a bazillion every which way up the gazoo.
That is all fine and dandy.
Hey, there can even be killer candy.
But then oh no!
An ass is about to show.
That just can't be.
That is so scary.
I can't see mine,
Unless you are a feline,
So it is so rare.
I don't want to see it's glare.
Whether pale, tanned or otherwise,
Hide that and the thighs.
Man boobs are okay.
We don't need to look away.
Maybe its a magic trick?
Until, yikes, they whip out the umm wick.
Not that it is something I wish to see,
But again, whoopie.
If you are of age to watch it,
Then your eyes have taken such a hit.
Either you have one of your own,
Or seen one when you umm err are alone.
So again, oh friggin no!
It is such a scary show.
Then comes the best ever.
The bed sheet is so clever.
It blocks everything when she walks away.
But oh yes, our film is true to life, they say.
Bed sheets must get lots of action.
Damn, they must end up in traction.
Getting ripped off the bed,
To cover things below the head.
Again, if able to watch you've seen,
But still people whine it is obscene.
That just can't be.
Nakedness is oh so scary.
And what does it come back to?
At least sometimes in view.
Lazy ass parents who whine when their kids watch it,
Because they use the TV as a babysitter and then pitch a fit.
North America can blow things away but far be it for an ass or something to be on display. That is just oh so wrong. Not that it is needed at all for a movie to be strong. But if it fits within the movie and not just thrown in for this and that, then whoopdi friggin doo says the cat. Animals are burdened with seeing naked humans every day, about time you got the same display. Not like it hasn't been seen in mass. At least that is the rant from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 23, 2015
Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It...Stupid Snow!
The cat sees white. It is all that is in site. It makes the cat sick. The cat knows it is a trick. The cat needs to move far away. The cat needs to stop saying the cat and get on with it at his bay.
The grass is dead,
So is the flower bed.
The sky is dark,
Dogs still bark.
But now you can see,
Where they go to pee.
It makes more disgust.
In yellow snow, never trust.
White or yellow,
It may look mellow,
But it is evil as can be,
For it will kill thee.
Freeze your toes.
Freeze your nose.
Freeze your whole face.
You could be frozen in place.
Snowmen on display.
Oh the dismay.
They aren't works of art,
If they resemble the people of Walmart.
Snow down your shirt.
Snow wants to flirt.
But now it is cold,
So things may not be bold.
Snow balls can come calling.
That is just appalling.
Snow in the shape of a ball.
It can't even bounce off the wall.
Snow hides ice.
That is not nice.
Could end you up in a ditch.
Snow is a real bitch.
Snow on your car,
So you can't even get far.
Have to waste time cleaning it off.
Then you develop a cough.
Snow's just gotta go.
Ignore it's little white glow.
For it will snow you in.
Snow is out to win.
See! Don't trust the evil snow, it is after everyone high and low. It is out to flirt and freeze. Run when you feel a cool breeze. Stay inside and lock your door. Move to a nice warm shore. Snow is coming in mass. It will not get my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
The grass is dead,
So is the flower bed.
The sky is dark,
Dogs still bark.
But now you can see,
Where they go to pee.
It makes more disgust.
In yellow snow, never trust.
White or yellow,
It may look mellow,
But it is evil as can be,
For it will kill thee.
Freeze your toes.
Freeze your nose.
Freeze your whole face.
You could be frozen in place.
Snowmen on display.
Oh the dismay.
They aren't works of art,
If they resemble the people of Walmart.
Snow down your shirt.
Snow wants to flirt.
But now it is cold,
So things may not be bold.
Snow balls can come calling.
That is just appalling.
Snow in the shape of a ball.
It can't even bounce off the wall.
Snow hides ice.
That is not nice.
Could end you up in a ditch.
Snow is a real bitch.
Snow on your car,
So you can't even get far.
Have to waste time cleaning it off.
Then you develop a cough.
Snow's just gotta go.
Ignore it's little white glow.
For it will snow you in.
Snow is out to win.
See! Don't trust the evil snow, it is after everyone high and low. It is out to flirt and freeze. Run when you feel a cool breeze. Stay inside and lock your door. Move to a nice warm shore. Snow is coming in mass. It will not get my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 22, 2015
Another Year To View What Comes Due!
Another year another bunch of movies that will come due. But what is there to view? I guess we shall see with another year to come in movies from me.
The movie of the year will be,
The Avengers: Age of Ultron, at least for me.
The crappiest one of the year?
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 will strike fear.
Star Wars Episode 7 comes near the end,
Hopefully it bucks the crap trend.
Jurassic World is back.
The dinos again go on the attack.
"I'll be back" will be heard.
Even if Terminator: Genisys turns out to be a turd.
Speaking of turds, The Fantastic Four,
Will mostly likely go on the turd tour.
But some of you can get your thrill,
As Magic Mike XXL makes me ill.
Ted 2, do you have to ask?.
Greed is up to the sequel task.
Pixels actually has a fun premise to it.
But it could be like any other recent Sandler umm shit.
Assassins Creed will continue the video game crap,
Adding another turd on the game to movie map.
Mission Impossible 5 jumps on your couch.
I guess nothing is impossible with a magic pouch?
Fast and Furious 7 is back in play.
Cars race the streets around L.A.
Mad Max: Fury Road finally shows.
After so much reshoots and money woes.
Goosebumps comes back into the light.
RL Stine's bank account will gain height.
Kung Fu Panda 3 is at hand.
Kung Fu and noodles are so grand?
Monster Trucks sounds umm trucky.
I bet it won't be ducky.
Ant-Man will shrink down.
Will it leave one with a smile or frown?
Insurgent is at play.
Free thinkers want their say.
The Jungle Book comes due.
And Cinderalla does too.
Disney films with real people,
Becoming another repeat steeple.
Ready to see them all? Hopefully not Paul Blart at your hall. The cat will only judge you a bit if you see that umm spit. Any you are going to see that were missed by me? Sequels sure abound once more. But some deserve an encore. Now this year's movies have come to pass and you have been updated by my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
The movie of the year will be,
The Avengers: Age of Ultron, at least for me.
The crappiest one of the year?
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 will strike fear.
Star Wars Episode 7 comes near the end,
Hopefully it bucks the crap trend.
Jurassic World is back.
The dinos again go on the attack.
"I'll be back" will be heard.
Even if Terminator: Genisys turns out to be a turd.
Speaking of turds, The Fantastic Four,
Will mostly likely go on the turd tour.
But some of you can get your thrill,
As Magic Mike XXL makes me ill.
Ted 2, do you have to ask?.
Greed is up to the sequel task.
Pixels actually has a fun premise to it.
But it could be like any other recent Sandler umm shit.
Assassins Creed will continue the video game crap,
Adding another turd on the game to movie map.
Mission Impossible 5 jumps on your couch.
I guess nothing is impossible with a magic pouch?
Fast and Furious 7 is back in play.
Cars race the streets around L.A.
Mad Max: Fury Road finally shows.
After so much reshoots and money woes.
Goosebumps comes back into the light.
RL Stine's bank account will gain height.
Kung Fu Panda 3 is at hand.
Kung Fu and noodles are so grand?
Monster Trucks sounds umm trucky.
I bet it won't be ducky.
Ant-Man will shrink down.
Will it leave one with a smile or frown?
Insurgent is at play.
Free thinkers want their say.
The Jungle Book comes due.
And Cinderalla does too.
Disney films with real people,
Becoming another repeat steeple.
Ready to see them all? Hopefully not Paul Blart at your hall. The cat will only judge you a bit if you see that umm spit. Any you are going to see that were missed by me? Sequels sure abound once more. But some deserve an encore. Now this year's movies have come to pass and you have been updated by my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 21, 2015
Isn't It Eerie When It Comes To A Theory?
Ever since the dawn of saying more than caveman speak, conspiracy theories have floated up and down every creek. And at the head of each and every one is a nut ball who believes every last thing that is spun.
They are out to get me.
They have big bad technology.
They will probe my mind.
They are a plague on mankind.
They are here to stay.
They took my toy away.
They caused me to crash.
They gave me this rash.
They are so sneaky.
They touched umm blinky.
They caused it not to grow.
They are making me eat crow.
They are everywhere.
They are in your hair.
They are in your loo.
They are watching you.
They are in the air.
They are oh so rare.
They need your sin.
They will always win.
They are at your door.
They aren't just lore.
They kept things from you.
They are oh so true.
Who are they?
Who am I to say.
They are they,
Spiking your food tray.
So fight they.
They can't play.
They need to fry.
Poke they in the eye.
They rule all.
They make you fall.
They control your fate.
They think they are great.
Who are they?
Who am I to say?
But they are there.
They are hiding in your hair.
Do you know who they are? Maybe aliens from lands afar? Now don't get the cat wrong, big pharma, politicians, rich pricks and a few more all want you to be fluoride heads and play along. But no matter what it is, from the conspiracy to the every day biz, you can't be so far out in left field on one that you can't see the rising of the sun. Then it becomes everybody is out to get me. They are oh so scary. When you look for a connection, just like anything in life, a connection you will find. If you are so far out to lunch you can't distinguish fact from fiction it's, "oh no, a plague on mankind." There is truth in most everything that comes to pass. But some take it so far out in left field they'll never see the sun shining off my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
They are out to get me.
They have big bad technology.
They will probe my mind.
They are a plague on mankind.
They are here to stay.
They took my toy away.
They caused me to crash.
They gave me this rash.
They are so sneaky.
They touched umm blinky.
They caused it not to grow.
They are making me eat crow.
They are everywhere.
They are in your hair.
They are in your loo.
They are watching you.
They are in the air.
They are oh so rare.
They need your sin.
They will always win.
They are at your door.
They aren't just lore.
They kept things from you.
They are oh so true.
Who are they?
Who am I to say.
They are they,
Spiking your food tray.
So fight they.
They can't play.
They need to fry.
Poke they in the eye.
They rule all.
They make you fall.
They control your fate.
They think they are great.
Who are they?
Who am I to say?
But they are there.
They are hiding in your hair.
Do you know who they are? Maybe aliens from lands afar? Now don't get the cat wrong, big pharma, politicians, rich pricks and a few more all want you to be fluoride heads and play along. But no matter what it is, from the conspiracy to the every day biz, you can't be so far out in left field on one that you can't see the rising of the sun. Then it becomes everybody is out to get me. They are oh so scary. When you look for a connection, just like anything in life, a connection you will find. If you are so far out to lunch you can't distinguish fact from fiction it's, "oh no, a plague on mankind." There is truth in most everything that comes to pass. But some take it so far out in left field they'll never see the sun shining off my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 20, 2015
It's Round Thirty And They Are Still Dirty!
It may be a new year but the crazies are still around I fear. The search engines send them my way and I know displaying them just makes your day. So back with go with the search engine flow.
xlol -chemical paint thinner
Won't find that here. Trying to get high and cheer?
rhyme time winter drive
The cat can't drive. Talk about winter and I may not let you out alive.
rhyming quotes for a job
Jobs suck
But you're in luck
Sucking pays too.
Good? Tips may come due.
jennifer aniston bush
See what I mean? The cat now feels so unclean.
so far away butts
So you like them wide so you can see them when they try and hide?
episode "was shot in the bum"
Ahhh so you want to take aim. For this search Rosey is to blame.
divine butts in dress
Is this a butt tale? Some butt hit the third rail.
funny cat rhymes about dirty cats
You rest your head,
Asleep in bed.
Then comes a stream,
Nope, not a dream.
poop on girl shoe
That would be nasty as can be. Hopefully it came off easy.
barney und seine freunde
Anyone want to take a guess? That dinosaur leave a mess?
I like it go up and down, up and down
Hmmm so you like to jump? Or are you getting over the hump?
Shaggy traps to avoid
Oh where that can go. I'll pretend I just don't know.
My bathtub ate my shoe
Damn, what a mean bathtub at your zoo. Maybe you need some super glue.
Cats like to pee on my feet
Your feet must really really stink. Maybe they are trying to improve your smell with a nod and a wink.
And the winner sure had a fun chime, if you go for such things in your prime. In which case you may be scary. But then you could like the shaggy and hairy. Umm anyway, here is the winner of round 30 at my bay.
Delightful sensual chocolate on my bossum
Well there is something you should keep close to your chest. Chocolate must like to nest. Not sure I need to be kept abreast of the situation though. Even though you can't spell bosom at your show. Now that I got that off my chest. What? I can pass the pun test. I will go pass some gas out my non chocolate covered little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
xlol -chemical paint thinner
Won't find that here. Trying to get high and cheer?
rhyme time winter drive
The cat can't drive. Talk about winter and I may not let you out alive.
rhyming quotes for a job
Jobs suck
But you're in luck
Sucking pays too.
Good? Tips may come due.
jennifer aniston bush
See what I mean? The cat now feels so unclean.
so far away butts
So you like them wide so you can see them when they try and hide?
episode "was shot in the bum"
Ahhh so you want to take aim. For this search Rosey is to blame.
divine butts in dress
Is this a butt tale? Some butt hit the third rail.
funny cat rhymes about dirty cats
You rest your head,
Asleep in bed.
Then comes a stream,
Nope, not a dream.
poop on girl shoe
That would be nasty as can be. Hopefully it came off easy.
barney und seine freunde
Anyone want to take a guess? That dinosaur leave a mess?
I like it go up and down, up and down
Hmmm so you like to jump? Or are you getting over the hump?
Shaggy traps to avoid
Oh where that can go. I'll pretend I just don't know.
My bathtub ate my shoe
Damn, what a mean bathtub at your zoo. Maybe you need some super glue.
Cats like to pee on my feet
Your feet must really really stink. Maybe they are trying to improve your smell with a nod and a wink.
And the winner sure had a fun chime, if you go for such things in your prime. In which case you may be scary. But then you could like the shaggy and hairy. Umm anyway, here is the winner of round 30 at my bay.
Delightful sensual chocolate on my bossum
Well there is something you should keep close to your chest. Chocolate must like to nest. Not sure I need to be kept abreast of the situation though. Even though you can't spell bosom at your show. Now that I got that off my chest. What? I can pass the pun test. I will go pass some gas out my non chocolate covered little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 19, 2015
Zombie Man Is Back On The Hero Attack!
Zombie Man was away for a long time at my bay. He helped out Tarsier Man and Catality but neglected his own reality. Now he is back on the case and must put some bad guys in their place.
So who knew,
Bad guys were a rock crew.
The ninja wannabe may be a bad guy in disguise,
Just a word to the wise.
Anyway, they play all day,
Ruining ear drums come what may.
They also steal money.
They think it is funny.
But Zombie Man does not,
Even if he continues to rot.
He smells really bad too.
But he is there to help you.
Just watch him fly.
He will crash and umm die.
Can the dead die?
Beats this rhyming guy.
He has to stop the rock crew.
There are quite a few.
But he is on the case,
While dripping goop all over the place.
Click here for a peer.
So yet another kids book has come due. A zombie super hero, who knew? But that is adventure number two, as Zombie Man goes after the rock crew. And so another book has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
So who knew,
Bad guys were a rock crew.
The ninja wannabe may be a bad guy in disguise,
Just a word to the wise.
Anyway, they play all day,
Ruining ear drums come what may.
They also steal money.
They think it is funny.
But Zombie Man does not,
Even if he continues to rot.
He smells really bad too.
But he is there to help you.
Just watch him fly.
He will crash and umm die.
Can the dead die?
Beats this rhyming guy.
He has to stop the rock crew.
There are quite a few.
But he is on the case,
While dripping goop all over the place.
Click here for a peer.So yet another kids book has come due. A zombie super hero, who knew? But that is adventure number two, as Zombie Man goes after the rock crew. And so another book has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 18, 2015
Have Your Pick As Some Lick!
The cat thought he'd bring everyone some cheer, well at least those looking to grope a rear. Hey, the search engine crazies have needs as well. So once again we delve into dating site hell.
My door loxes both ways.
Ummm is it like a maze?
Do I even want to know?
My locks say, no!
Like hunting and camping and camping and hunting
Is repeating that stunting?
Trying to read it forwards and back?
Not a very good palindrome attack.
Special toys 4 us in my bathroom.
Ummm where germs loom?
No thank you.
Plus Toys R Us has a better view.
I'am rea4dy to dat u!
Already in the brew?
Apparently you never passed first grade.
Or did those brain cells fade?
My tongue has a mind of its own.
Hold the phone.
Your mind is in your tongue?
Does it mind your lung?
Worries have nothing under me
Hmmm upside down are thee?
Walking on your hands might be cool.
I hope you don't drool.
Snoerers need not apply
Snow is hated by this guy.
But somehow I think it wasn't that.
How about a snoring cat?
Clean slate for me and my mat
Rhyme is a fine trat.
If you can do it right,
Otherwise call it a night.
I yawn because I'm happy
Do you laugh when you are sappy?
Just like to show your pearly whites?
At least maybe they are under dim lights.
Stamp this babie wanting to be complete
You and the tongue together may be neat.
A stamp needs a lick.
Otherwise it may not stick.
There you are. The cat hurt his IQ and eyes for all near and far. So if a licker is you cup of tea feel free to email me. I'll put you in touch with her. Hey, she could save me from licking my fur. Boy, the crazies sure do come out on a dating site, day or night. They are their own class, one that scares my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
My door loxes both ways.
Ummm is it like a maze?
Do I even want to know?
My locks say, no!
Like hunting and camping and camping and hunting
Is repeating that stunting?
Trying to read it forwards and back?
Not a very good palindrome attack.
Special toys 4 us in my bathroom.
Ummm where germs loom?
No thank you.
Plus Toys R Us has a better view.
I'am rea4dy to dat u!
Already in the brew?
Apparently you never passed first grade.
Or did those brain cells fade?
My tongue has a mind of its own.
Hold the phone.
Your mind is in your tongue?
Does it mind your lung?
Worries have nothing under me
Hmmm upside down are thee?
Walking on your hands might be cool.
I hope you don't drool.
Snoerers need not apply
Snow is hated by this guy.
But somehow I think it wasn't that.
How about a snoring cat?
Clean slate for me and my mat
Rhyme is a fine trat.
If you can do it right,
Otherwise call it a night.
I yawn because I'm happy
Do you laugh when you are sappy?
Just like to show your pearly whites?
At least maybe they are under dim lights.
Stamp this babie wanting to be complete
You and the tongue together may be neat.
A stamp needs a lick.
Otherwise it may not stick.
There you are. The cat hurt his IQ and eyes for all near and far. So if a licker is you cup of tea feel free to email me. I'll put you in touch with her. Hey, she could save me from licking my fur. Boy, the crazies sure do come out on a dating site, day or night. They are their own class, one that scares my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 17, 2015
These I Hate At An Alarming Rate!
So I was lounging in bed when Pat woke me with the flash of dread. No, not him naked as can be, seen that so much it is no longer scary. It was the flashy box. For that I will chew holes in his socks. Anyway, he said that dreaded word to me, so I ran and hid up the cat tree.
What is the word?
What do you think?
Nope, not a bird,
Or water in the sink.
One I can eat.
The other I can drink.
One Betsy uses for her feet.
Hint, it's the sink.
Is it the vet?
Is it that cage?
A safe bet,
As both fill me with rage.
The cone of shame?
A dog coming near?
The first I'd maim,
The other bite its rear.
By that I mean tail,
Which I have done.
Boy, do they wail.
They find it no fun.
Guessed the word yet?
Still feeling confused?
Follow this pet,
And don't feel abused.
They walk and talk,
The may even gawk.
The can sometimes stalk,
And pets they can mock.
They sound stupid though,
As they try and meow back.
But they don't seem to know.
Brains they must lack.
Humans you guess?
While it is close enough.
Babies/kids you confess?
Still on the right stuff.
But there is one word for all,
Who come and be pests.
They make me run down the hall,
And that would be GUESTS!
See what I had to deal with yesterday? Guests cause us so much dismay. They are just rude. They come and eat all of our food. On a side note though, got a good caption for the guests who decided to show? What, they aren't scary? One isn't even hairy. That is as scary as can be. Plus they wanted to win my money. The cat will not let that come to pass. Feel free to caption that guests who bothered my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 16, 2015
A Little Fact Fat About This And That!
The cat found some more facts you may like so he figured it was time to go on another fact hike. Some are just strange indeed. Not sure who finds such things out at their feed.
There are 293 ways to change a dollar.
If I had to find that out, I'd holler.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
Pffft my left hand does 100%, so no griping.
A shark is the only fish that can blink both eyes.
I bet the singing bass would call out, lies.
There are more chickens than people on Earth.
Damn, that is a lot of birth.
The longest one syllable word in English is screeched.
Has your one syllable limit been reached?
Almonds are a member of the peach family I hear,
But then the rose family also comes near.
Maine is the only one syllable state.
I guess that is a special fate.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
No wonder it sticks its head in the ground to hide the pain.
Tigers have striped skin too.
Must get made fun of by a kangaroo.
A dragonfly lives only 24 hours.
Hopefully it gets a sunny day with no showers.
A goldfish has a 3 second memory span.
Never trust a goldfish plan.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
Whoever counted that must have wanted a pledge.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
Never counted them when I saw them at my hall.
The average person takes 7 minutes to fall asleep.
Damn, my brain must have too many sheep.
Sneezing with your eyes open you can't do.
Try it next time you sneeze at your zoo.
The giant squid has the largest eyes on Earth.
I guess "giant" does hold some worth.
In most ads the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Works for the ocd at my den.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
That one I repeated to make sure you hear.
Rubber bands last longer in the fridge.
But I want to shoot them off a ridge.
Peanuts are an ingredient in dynamite.
No wonder they can give ones liver a fright.
And there you are, some more useless facts from my sand bar. I have to get you humans into gear, as you may not hear. 32 muscles cats have in each one while you guys are just slow under the sun. Now you have some new facts class, all from my fact finding little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
There are 293 ways to change a dollar.
If I had to find that out, I'd holler.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
Pffft my left hand does 100%, so no griping.
A shark is the only fish that can blink both eyes.
I bet the singing bass would call out, lies.
There are more chickens than people on Earth.
Damn, that is a lot of birth.
The longest one syllable word in English is screeched.
Has your one syllable limit been reached?
Almonds are a member of the peach family I hear,
But then the rose family also comes near.
Maine is the only one syllable state.
I guess that is a special fate.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
No wonder it sticks its head in the ground to hide the pain.
Tigers have striped skin too.
Must get made fun of by a kangaroo.
A dragonfly lives only 24 hours.
Hopefully it gets a sunny day with no showers.
A goldfish has a 3 second memory span.
Never trust a goldfish plan.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
Whoever counted that must have wanted a pledge.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
Never counted them when I saw them at my hall.
The average person takes 7 minutes to fall asleep.
Damn, my brain must have too many sheep.
Sneezing with your eyes open you can't do.
Try it next time you sneeze at your zoo.
The giant squid has the largest eyes on Earth.
I guess "giant" does hold some worth.
In most ads the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Works for the ocd at my den.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
That one I repeated to make sure you hear.
Rubber bands last longer in the fridge.
But I want to shoot them off a ridge.
Peanuts are an ingredient in dynamite.
No wonder they can give ones liver a fright.
And there you are, some more useless facts from my sand bar. I have to get you humans into gear, as you may not hear. 32 muscles cats have in each one while you guys are just slow under the sun. Now you have some new facts class, all from my fact finding little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 15, 2015
Scum Suckers And Umm Stupid Smuckers?
This goes out to all the dirty humans at play who think they can just run away. The idiots who should rot in hell for more than a spell. The Beer Guys brought this on with a post at their lawn.
You had a good reason.
It was top of the line.
No matter the season,
You have no spine.
Left a pet to roam.
Left out in the wild.
No room at home,
Besides it was mild.
I hope a bird dumps on your head.
I hope you get covered in tar.
I hope bugs invade your bed.
Hell, just go get hit by a car.
Moving to a new place.
It is so new and grand.
It has so much more space,
But pets gotta go as the place allows none on hand.
I hope your stuff gets taken.
I hope termites infest it.
I hope one day your bakin,
And it becomes a fire pit.
They were cute young.
But now they are old.
A new one needs to be sprung.
This one is too big to hold.
I hope you age fast.
I hope you need a walker.
I hope you're made a thing of the past,
Thrown in a home where they use you for soccer.
I have a new baby.
I just don't have time.
Poor poor me, so maybe,
Throwing them away isn't a crime.
I hope you get no sleep.
I hope you get worms.
I hope you fall in a well so deep,
Lassie couldn't even hear your squirms.
But even a slime sucking shit stain,
Can still have quite the allure.
For whether there is sun or rain,
The maggots still clamor over manure.
The cat just had to get that off of his chest before it became a pest. Did I offend the scum suckers out there? Pfffft great, is what I say at my lair. Anyone to give up a pet because of stupid reasons needs to rot. There are a few legit ones, but not a lot. Death, rabies, biting every person and animal around or super severe allergy at your scene. Maybe even moving to Timbuktu and wanting to avoid having them in two months of quarantine. But other than that you are a piece of crap and deserve a bad rap. I hope such people choke on the gas from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
You had a good reason.
It was top of the line.
No matter the season,
You have no spine.
Left a pet to roam.
Left out in the wild.
No room at home,
Besides it was mild.
I hope a bird dumps on your head.
I hope you get covered in tar.
I hope bugs invade your bed.
Hell, just go get hit by a car.
Moving to a new place.
It is so new and grand.
It has so much more space,
But pets gotta go as the place allows none on hand.
I hope your stuff gets taken.
I hope termites infest it.
I hope one day your bakin,
And it becomes a fire pit.
They were cute young.
But now they are old.
A new one needs to be sprung.
This one is too big to hold.
I hope you age fast.
I hope you need a walker.
I hope you're made a thing of the past,
Thrown in a home where they use you for soccer.
I have a new baby.
I just don't have time.
Poor poor me, so maybe,
Throwing them away isn't a crime.
I hope you get no sleep.
I hope you get worms.
I hope you fall in a well so deep,
Lassie couldn't even hear your squirms.
But even a slime sucking shit stain,
Can still have quite the allure.
For whether there is sun or rain,
The maggots still clamor over manure.
The cat just had to get that off of his chest before it became a pest. Did I offend the scum suckers out there? Pfffft great, is what I say at my lair. Anyone to give up a pet because of stupid reasons needs to rot. There are a few legit ones, but not a lot. Death, rabies, biting every person and animal around or super severe allergy at your scene. Maybe even moving to Timbuktu and wanting to avoid having them in two months of quarantine. But other than that you are a piece of crap and deserve a bad rap. I hope such people choke on the gas from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
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