Pat Hatt's Blog, page 173
January 14, 2015
A Countdown To Clean At Your Scene!
So Blabber aka Jax aka crazy shampoo fetish woman wanted to do a link up type post once more. Been two years and a half or so since that was done at my shore. That's what happens when lazy err umm busy bloggers go away. Anyway, time for some germ play. I mean I have to get the long and the short of it done. She loves the short cracks a ton. Loves love too. Oh so girlie at here zoo. Hmm I may have lied, time for a germ filled ride.
1. Touch, touch, lick, lick. My, that is a neat trick.If you expect germs to magically go away before you eat, you are dumber than your dead meat.
2. Share and care with some spittle to spare.Sure, go share water and food with your best bud. Those germs will bring you down with a thud.
3. The public loo calls to you.Pee on the seat, non hand washers and germs galore. Need I say more?
4. Get the shot to avoid feeling hot.Pffft if you think a shot is going to keep you from getting sick, here buy my magic spelling stick.
5. At the tone, yap on the phone.The average cell phone has 3 times more germs than a public toilet seat. Isn't that neat?
6. A public swimming pool is oh so cool.Did you know you can catch parasites in there and that they really aren't that rare? 7. Shake a hand, isn't it grand?Screw being polite when a cold they are obviously trying to fight. Hands spread more germs than any other thing even kisses from a fling.
8. Learn to walk and not just gawk.Elevators buttons are loaded to the brim. Suddenly the stairs aren't so grim.
9. Come and shop until you drop.Shopping cart handles can give you germs and parasites too. Many people do not have a clue.
10. Eat everything in sight, day or night.Believe it or not, what you eat affects whether you get sick a little or a lot.
Now you know how to stay germ free. It's not hard at ones sea. People are just lazy and expect them to stay away. Then when they get sick they boo hoo all day. Yeah, you can't avoid them all, impossible unless you live in a bubble ball. But you can avoid a lot and the rest with a good lifestyle you can easily rot. Now the cat is done with his germ pass that was spurred on by that short, girlie lass. Oh that may get sass, which is fine by my germ free little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
1. Touch, touch, lick, lick. My, that is a neat trick.If you expect germs to magically go away before you eat, you are dumber than your dead meat.
2. Share and care with some spittle to spare.Sure, go share water and food with your best bud. Those germs will bring you down with a thud.
3. The public loo calls to you.Pee on the seat, non hand washers and germs galore. Need I say more?
4. Get the shot to avoid feeling hot.Pffft if you think a shot is going to keep you from getting sick, here buy my magic spelling stick.
5. At the tone, yap on the phone.The average cell phone has 3 times more germs than a public toilet seat. Isn't that neat?
6. A public swimming pool is oh so cool.Did you know you can catch parasites in there and that they really aren't that rare? 7. Shake a hand, isn't it grand?Screw being polite when a cold they are obviously trying to fight. Hands spread more germs than any other thing even kisses from a fling.
8. Learn to walk and not just gawk.Elevators buttons are loaded to the brim. Suddenly the stairs aren't so grim.
9. Come and shop until you drop.Shopping cart handles can give you germs and parasites too. Many people do not have a clue.
10. Eat everything in sight, day or night.Believe it or not, what you eat affects whether you get sick a little or a lot.
Now you know how to stay germ free. It's not hard at ones sea. People are just lazy and expect them to stay away. Then when they get sick they boo hoo all day. Yeah, you can't avoid them all, impossible unless you live in a bubble ball. But you can avoid a lot and the rest with a good lifestyle you can easily rot. Now the cat is done with his germ pass that was spurred on by that short, girlie lass. Oh that may get sass, which is fine by my germ free little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 13, 2015
Things Not To Mock After You Gawk!
Some humans like to repeat things they see in a movie. But it may not turn out so groovy. So the cat will make sure you don't repeat at least some things out on the street. We'd be here for years though if the cat was to do everyone that ever did show.
Never fly off the top of a moving car.You may fly rather far,But the end won't be very fun.You will end up flat and well done.
Don't fight with Bob Barker.You may need a makeup marker.Bruises may show up galore.The price is right avoid at your shore.
Never swing off a roof.For your waist will go poof. You will be ripped in two.Death will surely come due.
Never stand under a brick thrower.Better off fighting with a lawn mower.One hit with a brick,And you will die some slick.
Don't tick off this guy.He will do more than poke you in the eye.Make Hulk angry and you are dead.He'll rip off your head.
Don't hide in a fridge from a nuke. If you do so you'll be a mook.A dead mook that is.Avoid the nuke biz.
Don't drink Jobu's rum.That would be dumb.You'd get a bat to the head.That would be something to dread.
Never stick your pecker in the wall,Or anything to do with a bathroom stall. You never know what is on the other end.Some things just aren't meant to bend.
Never jump from upon high.It may look like you can fly.But in the end you will die.That is surely no lie.
Of course all of this is common sense,At least to those who aren't dense.But the ones who have gone around the bend,May need this to avoid a gruesome end.
Ever tried something crazy off a movie screen? Or are you too wise for that at your scene? Maybe add a few wires and you'd be okay and live to see another day. Other than that you'd be dead and giving off bad gas, trust my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
Never fly off the top of a moving car.You may fly rather far,But the end won't be very fun.You will end up flat and well done.
Don't fight with Bob Barker.You may need a makeup marker.Bruises may show up galore.The price is right avoid at your shore.
Never swing off a roof.For your waist will go poof. You will be ripped in two.Death will surely come due.
Never stand under a brick thrower.Better off fighting with a lawn mower.One hit with a brick,And you will die some slick.
Don't tick off this guy.He will do more than poke you in the eye.Make Hulk angry and you are dead.He'll rip off your head.
Don't hide in a fridge from a nuke. If you do so you'll be a mook.A dead mook that is.Avoid the nuke biz.
Don't drink Jobu's rum.That would be dumb.You'd get a bat to the head.That would be something to dread.
Never stick your pecker in the wall,Or anything to do with a bathroom stall. You never know what is on the other end.Some things just aren't meant to bend.
Never jump from upon high.It may look like you can fly.But in the end you will die.That is surely no lie.
Of course all of this is common sense,At least to those who aren't dense.But the ones who have gone around the bend,May need this to avoid a gruesome end.
Ever tried something crazy off a movie screen? Or are you too wise for that at your scene? Maybe add a few wires and you'd be okay and live to see another day. Other than that you'd be dead and giving off bad gas, trust my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 12, 2015
Head South And Don't Knock A Gif Horse In The Mouth!
The cat wants to head south and away from the cold. But since he can't many more things will take hold. Just you wait and see what we will do when we have to deal with cold at our zoo.
Cassie will make a racket.She'll make you want to pack it.She will never stop.This will make sleeping a flop.
Watch that ball go round and round.More annoying than a yappy hound.Well she may stop to stretch out.But with all the noise you may pout.
Then we will get out this guy,And make him umm die?Can a dead thing die?Redundancy you will spy.
This will make your brain hurt.At least no blood will spurt.Might be off with his head.But what does he care? He's dead.
I'll germ up the table too.Sit there right in your view.Acting all serene and such.Maybe even scratch if you touch.
See my big eyes watching you?Whatever will you do?Have to clean the table every day.Poor poor you at your bay.
And then comes the real mess.This is so fun I have to confess.The cat will kill the TP.It gives me so much glee.
Cassie will just sit and stare.She thinks I'm nuts as I tear.But when I am through,You can bet a big mess will come due.
And we'd be all nice and calm,If you moved us to a place with a palm.But oh no, we have snow.Can you see we shake our heads no?
The sun needs to shine bright,Giving us sun puddles at our site.The white stuff falling blocks that.Snow just makes the cat even more of a dingbat.
Now you can see how we do what we do. Didn't you enjoy the gifs from me to you? The cat is on the gif train now. May have to give such posts an annual meow. They are fun to come to pass, plus they show off my snow hating little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
Cassie will make a racket.She'll make you want to pack it.She will never stop.This will make sleeping a flop.
Watch that ball go round and round.More annoying than a yappy hound.Well she may stop to stretch out.But with all the noise you may pout.
Then we will get out this guy,And make him umm die?Can a dead thing die?Redundancy you will spy.
This will make your brain hurt.At least no blood will spurt.Might be off with his head.But what does he care? He's dead.
I'll germ up the table too.Sit there right in your view.Acting all serene and such.Maybe even scratch if you touch.
See my big eyes watching you?Whatever will you do?Have to clean the table every day.Poor poor you at your bay.
And then comes the real mess.This is so fun I have to confess.The cat will kill the TP.It gives me so much glee.
Cassie will just sit and stare.She thinks I'm nuts as I tear.But when I am through,You can bet a big mess will come due.
And we'd be all nice and calm,If you moved us to a place with a palm.But oh no, we have snow.Can you see we shake our heads no?
The sun needs to shine bright,Giving us sun puddles at our site.The white stuff falling blocks that.Snow just makes the cat even more of a dingbat.
Now you can see how we do what we do. Didn't you enjoy the gifs from me to you? The cat is on the gif train now. May have to give such posts an annual meow. They are fun to come to pass, plus they show off my snow hating little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 11, 2015
Nothing But Net Is Met!
The cat was here and there at his lair when he gave some stupid thing a stare. What it was I don't really care. It just spurred on this at my lair because such things aren't rare.
Only on the Internet,
Can such things be met.
Where each and every day,
Some weird thing is on display.
The Earth is at an end.
A common trend.
Some stars line up thing.
Pffft idiot bell, ding!
Nerd rage can fly high!
Can't let a show die.
Rant and rave,
Oopsy, still in its grave.
Everybody is great,
They can answer every trait.
Yahoo answers will give you health,
And maybe even wealth.
People from all over,
Are staying home with rover,
Making $1,111,111 a day.
Ummm err okay.
King Abubu wants to share.
He really does care.
He wants you to have his dough.
But shhh no one can know.
Time travel is out there.
John Titor did it at his lair.
The Earth went boom.
More doom and gloom.
Also you can see,
A man hump a goat in front of thee.
Isn't that the best?
That sure beats the rest.
And where one can go,
And create a meme show.
A whole bunch of crap.
Hail Hydra across the map.
Plus you can learn,
At each and every turn.
Like how to stuff cinnamon in your mouth,
And die as it heads south.
Isn't the Internet grand? Hey, it allows me to have my sand box land. And you may see zombie feet but no people seeing a goat and getting sweet. Hopefully you don't add to the really nut job mass. If so, don't tell my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
Only on the Internet,
Can such things be met.
Where each and every day,
Some weird thing is on display.
The Earth is at an end.
A common trend.
Some stars line up thing.
Pffft idiot bell, ding!
Nerd rage can fly high!
Can't let a show die.
Rant and rave,
Oopsy, still in its grave.
Everybody is great,
They can answer every trait.
Yahoo answers will give you health,
And maybe even wealth.
People from all over,
Are staying home with rover,
Making $1,111,111 a day.
Ummm err okay.
King Abubu wants to share.
He really does care.
He wants you to have his dough.
But shhh no one can know.
Time travel is out there.
John Titor did it at his lair.
The Earth went boom.
More doom and gloom.
Also you can see,
A man hump a goat in front of thee.
Isn't that the best?
That sure beats the rest.
And where one can go,
And create a meme show.
A whole bunch of crap.
Hail Hydra across the map.
Plus you can learn,
At each and every turn.
Like how to stuff cinnamon in your mouth,
And die as it heads south.
Isn't the Internet grand? Hey, it allows me to have my sand box land. And you may see zombie feet but no people seeing a goat and getting sweet. Hopefully you don't add to the really nut job mass. If so, don't tell my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 10, 2015
Do You Care At Your Lair?
So the cat was hopping here and there and reading how some people have to watch what they say at their lair. I guess work places frown on such things as being honest in the blogland wings.
Do you care,
What you say at our lair?
Like if some one sees it,
They'll have a fit?
Poor work sees your blog.
Oopsy, they learn you're a word hog.
At least they see you can spell.
Who cares if you said a co-worker has a bad smell.
Most are wise though,
Being vague with what they show.
But even then they whine.
They say you crossed a line.
You said GMO is trash.
That gave them a bad rash.
Oopsy, you can't say that.
Should keep things under your hat.
Yeah, that is right.
Keep your head down day and night.
Be a worker drone,
And clock out at the tone.
Have no opinion for yourself.
Be happy like a Gerber elf.
That is all we really want.
Your words on whatever can really haunt.
Pffft says the cat.
You're the dingbat.
Did I offend?
Nope, won't amend.
There are some things you don't say,
Just because it is civil at your bay.
But most crap I just let fly.
Don't like it, go fry.
Don't even claim to be always right.
But I'll say what I want at my site.
And if you get your undies in a bunch,
Maybe you need more fiber for lunch.
Some basics and really personal things many hide for a reason,
But then that can change with a new season.
So do you care,
What you say at your lair?
Thankfully, besides a few haters at my gate, no one has cared about my rhyming fate. And if they did at my sea, whether work or someone I knew personally, tough luck. The cat won't pass the buck. I think it helps being a crazy rhyming cat though. Would you tone it down or care at your show? The cat would just pass some gas and continue on being a little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
Do you care,
What you say at our lair?
Like if some one sees it,
They'll have a fit?
Poor work sees your blog.
Oopsy, they learn you're a word hog.
At least they see you can spell.
Who cares if you said a co-worker has a bad smell.
Most are wise though,
Being vague with what they show.
But even then they whine.
They say you crossed a line.
You said GMO is trash.
That gave them a bad rash.
Oopsy, you can't say that.
Should keep things under your hat.
Yeah, that is right.
Keep your head down day and night.
Be a worker drone,
And clock out at the tone.
Have no opinion for yourself.
Be happy like a Gerber elf.
That is all we really want.
Your words on whatever can really haunt.
Pffft says the cat.
You're the dingbat.
Did I offend?
Nope, won't amend.
There are some things you don't say,
Just because it is civil at your bay.
But most crap I just let fly.
Don't like it, go fry.
Don't even claim to be always right.
But I'll say what I want at my site.
And if you get your undies in a bunch,
Maybe you need more fiber for lunch.
Some basics and really personal things many hide for a reason,
But then that can change with a new season.
So do you care,
What you say at your lair?
Thankfully, besides a few haters at my gate, no one has cared about my rhyming fate. And if they did at my sea, whether work or someone I knew personally, tough luck. The cat won't pass the buck. I think it helps being a crazy rhyming cat though. Would you tone it down or care at your show? The cat would just pass some gas and continue on being a little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 9, 2015
With This Jam We Tackle The Pangram!
The cat has yet to do this one. I guess it got lost amongst my fun. The word just makes one want to go, damn. For it is a pain in the butt to come up with a pangram. Then again not if you blither on for a while, which of course is easy to do as I go the rhyming mile.
Fox dwarves chop my talking quiz job.
The chopped it like corn on a cob?
Quick blowing zephyrs vex daft Jim.
Daft Jim must be rather umm dim.
Fat hag dwarves quickly zap jinx mob.
So see dwarves, lock door knob?
Jack fox bids ivy-strewn phlegm quiz.
That sounds like some nasty biz.
How quickly daft jumping zebras vex.
I guess they are after sex.
Two driven jocks help fax my big quiz.
Jocks know how to fax and not just take a whiz?
Now fax quiz Jack! my brave ghost pled.
No ghost better bother me while in bed.
Do wafting zephyrs quickly vex Jumbo?
Better off asking poor Dumbo.
Go, lazy fat vixen; be shrewd, jump quick.
Oh that could be taken the wrong way if you add dick.
Fickle jinx bog dwarves spy math quiz.
Dwarves like that numbers biz?
Jumping hay dwarves flock quartz box.
So what's next, dwarves eating socks?
Five jumping wizards hex bolty quick.
I hope their robes don't fly up and reveal their umm wick.
Five hexing wizard bots jump quickly.
Robots have nothing to fear and aren't tickly.
Quick fox jumps nightly above wizard.
The fox better be slick to beat the old gizzard.
Vamp fox held quartz duck just by wing.
The duck got his blood sucked or something?
Five quacking zephyrs jolt my wax bed.
You have a bed made of wax where you rest your head?
The five boxing wizards jump quickly.
I hope after all the hopping none look sickly.
Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz.
I hope it doesn't cause warts.
Show mangled quartz flip vibe exactly.
Is that some kind of factly?
My jocks box, get hard, unzip, quiver, flow.
I better stop as no more do I want to know.
Make out what a pangram is with my little crazy biz? Yes? No? Maybe so? It means all 26 letters from the alphabet show. Even if the sentences are crazy, no letter gets left out to be lazy. Now I am done with my pangram sass and off I go with my 12 letter using little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
Fox dwarves chop my talking quiz job.
The chopped it like corn on a cob?
Quick blowing zephyrs vex daft Jim.
Daft Jim must be rather umm dim.
Fat hag dwarves quickly zap jinx mob.
So see dwarves, lock door knob?
Jack fox bids ivy-strewn phlegm quiz.
That sounds like some nasty biz.
How quickly daft jumping zebras vex.
I guess they are after sex.
Two driven jocks help fax my big quiz.
Jocks know how to fax and not just take a whiz?
Now fax quiz Jack! my brave ghost pled.
No ghost better bother me while in bed.
Do wafting zephyrs quickly vex Jumbo?
Better off asking poor Dumbo.
Go, lazy fat vixen; be shrewd, jump quick.
Oh that could be taken the wrong way if you add dick.
Fickle jinx bog dwarves spy math quiz.
Dwarves like that numbers biz?
Jumping hay dwarves flock quartz box.
So what's next, dwarves eating socks?
Five jumping wizards hex bolty quick.
I hope their robes don't fly up and reveal their umm wick.
Five hexing wizard bots jump quickly.
Robots have nothing to fear and aren't tickly.
Quick fox jumps nightly above wizard.
The fox better be slick to beat the old gizzard.
Vamp fox held quartz duck just by wing.
The duck got his blood sucked or something?
Five quacking zephyrs jolt my wax bed.
You have a bed made of wax where you rest your head?
The five boxing wizards jump quickly.
I hope after all the hopping none look sickly.
Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz.
I hope it doesn't cause warts.
Show mangled quartz flip vibe exactly.
Is that some kind of factly?
My jocks box, get hard, unzip, quiver, flow.
I better stop as no more do I want to know.
Make out what a pangram is with my little crazy biz? Yes? No? Maybe so? It means all 26 letters from the alphabet show. Even if the sentences are crazy, no letter gets left out to be lazy. Now I am done with my pangram sass and off I go with my 12 letter using little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 8, 2015
A Little Scare For Your Lair!
So Manzanita sent the cat a bunch of phobias at his bay and the cat just had to use them to play. Some of them may scare those out there who have them at their lair. I mean dirt is so scary. I suppose it could be if things were dropped there by something hairy.
Alliumphobia is so grand.
Vampires will love you across the land.
For you fear their fear.
Garlic is smelly, I hear.
Anthophobia is so great.
No money needs to be spent on a date.
At least on the typical part.
You'll run in fear of flowers that come from the heart.
Botanophobia is one for you.
No vegetarian allowed at your zoo.
Fear of plants big and small.
I wonder if grass counts at their hall?
Bufonophobia won't get you a kiss,
If a spell has stopped your bliss.
Turned into a toad you may remain,
As the buffoons are afraid of you at your lane.
Dendrophobia is oh so scary too!
Watch out, they may bite you.
Those trees can really move and grow.
Soon they will step on your toe.
Entomophobia would be no fun for me,
Then I'd have nothing to eat at my sea.
Fear of insects is one many a human has indeed.
They are nasty buggers that grow like a weed.
Scoleciphobia will leave you at home,
When the fisherman go out to roam.
Manzanita may even be classified by this,
As those nasty worms ruin her bliss.
Rupophobia people find dirt scary.
It must grow more than a berry.
I guess digging up buried treasure,
Would also not give them any pleasure.
Ornithophobia would make one paranoid,
And they'd fall in to a dark void,
If they visited Betsy's sea.
Those birds would be oh so scary.
Myrmecophobia goes marching on,
Okay, maybe not out on the lawn.
For with ants marching one by one,
Hurrah won't be said as you turn and run.
There are some things to strike fear today. Toads, ants, plants, trees and birds are so scary on display. Are you in full on panic mode now? I bet you are going to have a cow. I mean those big words must be scary in mass. They are just oh so, not really, scary to my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
Alliumphobia is so grand.
Vampires will love you across the land.
For you fear their fear.
Garlic is smelly, I hear.
Anthophobia is so great.
No money needs to be spent on a date.
At least on the typical part.
You'll run in fear of flowers that come from the heart.
Botanophobia is one for you.
No vegetarian allowed at your zoo.
Fear of plants big and small.
I wonder if grass counts at their hall?
Bufonophobia won't get you a kiss,
If a spell has stopped your bliss.
Turned into a toad you may remain,
As the buffoons are afraid of you at your lane.
Dendrophobia is oh so scary too!
Watch out, they may bite you.
Those trees can really move and grow.
Soon they will step on your toe.
Entomophobia would be no fun for me,
Then I'd have nothing to eat at my sea.
Fear of insects is one many a human has indeed.
They are nasty buggers that grow like a weed.
Scoleciphobia will leave you at home,
When the fisherman go out to roam.
Manzanita may even be classified by this,
As those nasty worms ruin her bliss.
Rupophobia people find dirt scary.
It must grow more than a berry.
I guess digging up buried treasure,
Would also not give them any pleasure.
Ornithophobia would make one paranoid,
And they'd fall in to a dark void,
If they visited Betsy's sea.
Those birds would be oh so scary.
Myrmecophobia goes marching on,
Okay, maybe not out on the lawn.
For with ants marching one by one,
Hurrah won't be said as you turn and run.
There are some things to strike fear today. Toads, ants, plants, trees and birds are so scary on display. Are you in full on panic mode now? I bet you are going to have a cow. I mean those big words must be scary in mass. They are just oh so, not really, scary to my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 7, 2015
It's A New Year, Whoopdi Friggin Doo I Fear!
A new year is here, all know that after many a cheer, but is it time to kick it into gear or just run away in fear? I guess we shall see as a little rant is done by me.
Scream and shout,Bounce like a trout.One that's on land.The new year is grand.
A time for change,A time to rearrange.A time for this or that,A time when pffft comes from the cat.
But that we know already.The cat states that steady.Yet with one near,Do you cheer or run in fear?
Fear your end is near.Could croak after another beer.That would surely suck.Or maybe you fear luck.
Maybe you give it a cheer.All will call you dear.Wouldn't that be great?Nah, not a deary fate.
So fear or cheer?Both can kick things into gear.Which one do you choose?Time for me to abuse.
Neither one!Screw either being spun.New year does nothing at all.Just another day added to the wall.
Won't magically find a new way.Won't magically sail across the bay.Won't magically get pay.Won't magically go astray.
You will do what you will.You will get your fill.There is no magic pill,And no magic date that fits the bill.
The new year is like a fart.It is not some kind of fresh start.It passes like any other one does.You create your own fear, cheer or buzz.
What? The cat just likes to drive that home at his hut. The new year is like a fart. Hmmm may get that lamented at my cart. It builds up and then blows away, you do the same as you do any other day. You want something done and your insecurity to go away. Do it on any single day. Whether it is March or November that comes to pass. New Year's is just as magical as a fart from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
Scream and shout,Bounce like a trout.One that's on land.The new year is grand.
A time for change,A time to rearrange.A time for this or that,A time when pffft comes from the cat.
But that we know already.The cat states that steady.Yet with one near,Do you cheer or run in fear?
Fear your end is near.Could croak after another beer.That would surely suck.Or maybe you fear luck.
Maybe you give it a cheer.All will call you dear.Wouldn't that be great?Nah, not a deary fate.
So fear or cheer?Both can kick things into gear.Which one do you choose?Time for me to abuse.
Neither one!Screw either being spun.New year does nothing at all.Just another day added to the wall.
Won't magically find a new way.Won't magically sail across the bay.Won't magically get pay.Won't magically go astray.
You will do what you will.You will get your fill.There is no magic pill,And no magic date that fits the bill.
The new year is like a fart.It is not some kind of fresh start.It passes like any other one does.You create your own fear, cheer or buzz.
What? The cat just likes to drive that home at his hut. The new year is like a fart. Hmmm may get that lamented at my cart. It builds up and then blows away, you do the same as you do any other day. You want something done and your insecurity to go away. Do it on any single day. Whether it is March or November that comes to pass. New Year's is just as magical as a fart from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 6, 2015
Some More Things To Say To Bring On Death At Your Bay!
So another things you can say popped on in and the cat will give it a go at his bin. Things you can say about music or song that your partner would find oh so wrong.
That G-String is a bit tight.
May get you sent for a cheap flight.
I think your valves need some oil.
Any nightly plans that will foil.
In some areas you are rather flat.
May get hit with a big bat.
Are you sure that scale is right?
Could wind up dead one night.
The minors is your calling.
Some could find that appalling.
Did the majors cut you loose?
May get a kick to the caboose.
When will your horn snap to attention?
Could land you in detention.
Has someone been tickling your ivories today?
A piano your head may play.
You really love triangles don't you?
Things could quickly turn blue.
That is just not to scale.
Another epic fail.
You must have had a great conductor.
Now you may need some kind of instructor.
You have one mean idiophone.
Could get cut off at the tone.
Care to beat the drums all day?
For that you could pay.
Is that your only drumstick?
A gun could next go, click.
Will you drum up some business for me?
Oh, I hope it isn't done for free.
Why are you so off key?
Could get you a whack to the knee.
Could you watch your pitch?
May leave you dead in a ditch.
Your flute seems rather aired out.
That could cause one to pout.
And there you are, saved once again at the cat's sand bar. Now you know what not to say when you feel a tune coming on at your bay. If you don't want to end up with more than a bad case of gas, trust my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
That G-String is a bit tight.
May get you sent for a cheap flight.
I think your valves need some oil.
Any nightly plans that will foil.
In some areas you are rather flat.
May get hit with a big bat.
Are you sure that scale is right?
Could wind up dead one night.
The minors is your calling.
Some could find that appalling.
Did the majors cut you loose?
May get a kick to the caboose.
When will your horn snap to attention?
Could land you in detention.
Has someone been tickling your ivories today?
A piano your head may play.
You really love triangles don't you?
Things could quickly turn blue.
That is just not to scale.
Another epic fail.
You must have had a great conductor.
Now you may need some kind of instructor.
You have one mean idiophone.
Could get cut off at the tone.
Care to beat the drums all day?
For that you could pay.
Is that your only drumstick?
A gun could next go, click.
Will you drum up some business for me?
Oh, I hope it isn't done for free.
Why are you so off key?
Could get you a whack to the knee.
Could you watch your pitch?
May leave you dead in a ditch.
Your flute seems rather aired out.
That could cause one to pout.
And there you are, saved once again at the cat's sand bar. Now you know what not to say when you feel a tune coming on at your bay. If you don't want to end up with more than a bad case of gas, trust my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
January 5, 2015
Graph It And It's A Hit!
Pat spills all at the other hall!
Is it a wonder why you humans believe all you see? It is always so pretty. Who cares if stats are pulled from an ass. They still go over so well with your mankind mass.
Balls can bounce,Cats can pounce.Dogs can chew.Look at the pretty view.
Did you know that 95% of you eat flies?Yeah, they are in chocolate bars to pies.It has to be oh so true.
Just look at the pretty picture that came due.
Toes have hair.Cats run around bare.Cats have hairballs.Toes walk through halls.
Did you know 88% more deaths occur by toe stubbing,As humans go out each night clubbing,Than those who trip over cats?It is true, the graph says so, dingbats.
Mountains are big.Bald people wear a wig.Mountains are large.Why shout charge?
Did you know that mountains eat people?Don't ask under a church steeple.Just trust in the pretty graph,While the cat gets a good laugh.
Pac-man is yellow.Those ghosts are mellow.He eats a lot,Even a pot.
Did you know that upside down,Pac-man turns green with a frown?You can see it in the stats above.Show green Pac-man some love.
Scissors are sharp.They can cut a tarp.I ran with them before.Still alive at my shore.
Did you know pointy things are pointy?They can stab a jointy.They can even make you rhyme crappy.Aren't the pointy things oh so snappy?
Now you have been given true stats. See, you just have to ask cats. We will tell you how it is with your pretty picture biz. No need even for a quiz. Soon you'll be a whiz. Now I am done with my graphing sass. Have fun staring at the pretty graphs from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
Is it a wonder why you humans believe all you see? It is always so pretty. Who cares if stats are pulled from an ass. They still go over so well with your mankind mass.
Balls can bounce,Cats can pounce.Dogs can chew.Look at the pretty view.
Did you know that 95% of you eat flies?Yeah, they are in chocolate bars to pies.It has to be oh so true.
Just look at the pretty picture that came due.
Toes have hair.Cats run around bare.Cats have hairballs.Toes walk through halls.
Did you know 88% more deaths occur by toe stubbing,As humans go out each night clubbing,Than those who trip over cats?It is true, the graph says so, dingbats.
Mountains are big.Bald people wear a wig.Mountains are large.Why shout charge?
Did you know that mountains eat people?Don't ask under a church steeple.Just trust in the pretty graph,While the cat gets a good laugh.
Pac-man is yellow.Those ghosts are mellow.He eats a lot,Even a pot.
Did you know that upside down,Pac-man turns green with a frown?You can see it in the stats above.Show green Pac-man some love.
Scissors are sharp.They can cut a tarp.I ran with them before.Still alive at my shore.
Did you know pointy things are pointy?They can stab a jointy.They can even make you rhyme crappy.Aren't the pointy things oh so snappy?
Now you have been given true stats. See, you just have to ask cats. We will tell you how it is with your pretty picture biz. No need even for a quiz. Soon you'll be a whiz. Now I am done with my graphing sass. Have fun staring at the pretty graphs from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.
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