Pat Hatt's Blog, page 114

The Ignoring Spree Takes A Knee!

Isn't email such a wonderful thing? Now you can use it to even have some weird fling. No waiting days or weeks for the mail as some mailman hits the trail. You get it now. But the now brings a cow.

I emailed you today.
I had my say.
Reply back now.
If not, I have a cow.

You need to reply.
If not I'll die.
No exaggeration there.
Reply, no time to spare.

If not, you're bad.
You're ignoring me at your pad.
Yeah, it is all about me.
I now hate thee.

What was that?
Likely story where you're at.
Life got in your way?
Pffft have a nice day.

You got busy?
I'm still having a tizzy.
You can't fool me.
I was ignored by thee.

You went shopping?
Your internet is flopping?
It got lost in junk?
Pffft, that is all bunk.

I know it to be true.
I was ignored by you.
You should reply right away.
Otherwise I won't have a nice day.

It is all about me.
Me and not thee.
Me and my email.
Reply back without fail.

On vacation?
No elation.
You were sick?
Not falling for that trick.

It's all about me.
I now hate thee.
I feel so ignored.
I'll email you again when I'm bored.

Ever get those types at your sea? They need to be emailed back right away by thee. Pffft go and take a hike I say, right into some big bay. The cat usually replies pretty quickly at our sea, but if not and one fusses on them I'll pee. Then they will stink worse than the gas that comes out of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Return Of Bug Eye On The Fly!

The cat doesn't know how he stays alive but old bug eyes is able to survive. He keeps on coming back. This will make 16 adventures for him at our shack. That is ten more than me. Pffft to him at our sea.

Tarsier Man is here
Back for a cheer.
Flaming Nun hates that.
She wants to squash him flat.

She tries to burn.
Flaming at every turn.
The Mailman helps.
But he more or less yelps.

Will Tarsier Man win?
Can he do the nun in?
Will Pat get struck down?
Waiting...nope, not today at our town.




Click Here For A Peer!
Tarsier Man was in a bind.
He still had nuns on the mind.
Borlin helped though.
Just so you know.

Now Rip Off Man is here.
He's not really something to fear.
He is just a thief,
Trying to cause Tarsier Man grief.

Or is he more?
Find out at your shore.
Tarsier Man won't tell.
But he finds him not swell.




Click Here For A Peer!
How Tarsier Man came to be?
Isn't that in the 1st at our sea?
Or is that entirely true?
I guess that is up to you.

Could learn the why.
Could have come from a guy.
He may be an old fart.
He may have a cold heart.

You may have to read to find.
Tarsier Man thinks he lost his mind.
The old fart that is.
He's all about the evil biz.




Click Here For A Peer!
That makes three more to the pile. Have you turned the Tarsier Man dial? Someone sure has as they seem to like him. The cat things he is rather dim. At least he doesn't give us fleas. That sure does please. Three more books sure up our mass. They keep on coming to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Does It Lurk With Best Work?

The cat heard it a time or two, many reach their so called best work at their zoo. Then they quit, become complacent or phone it in. Can't give a new best work a spin?

One and done.
Hey, be fun.
At least you got one.
Beats my none.

Got your dough.
Got your fame.
But oh know.
Best is your claim.

The best work done.
Can't best any more.
Nope, no best is spun.
You're all out at your shore.

A hit or miss,
May not be grand.
Let's enjoy the bliss,
Stopping in our land.

Let's ride off of it.
Do a prequel or remake.
Or maybe some other shit,
So I get double the take.

Let's just put out crap.
Hey, the win came due.
Now any old chap,
Will buy what's in view.

Can't get better.
Can't beat best.
I read it in a letter,
So why try and test?

Wait! Best isn't best?
Not one little bit?
I can still have zest?
Damn, another hit?

Best is besting.
That I can do.
Best the nesting,
And try on cue.

Best work? Never!
Can still do more.
Just have to be clever,
And to get a besting encore.

Think you can't get better than your best work? Are you one that doesn't try the besting the best perk? Pffft the cat shall keep on trying every time. No complacent crap to give a chime. If I wanted that I'd become a mime. A mime that can't rhyme. That would give me a bad case of gas. So I'll remain a best besting little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Little Worth Gives Birth!

The cat is fine and dandy. My worth is handy. The cat thinks he is the best. Cats can easily pass that test. Hey, you scoop our crap. That puts us ahead of most across the map.

Are you an elf?
Toys on a shelf?
Over half way there.
That I had to share.

What about self?
No self in elf.
Elves are fake.
So self partake.

Throw in some riches,
Screaming at high pitches?
Err umm not that worth.
And not that kinda birth.

Guess two as one,
Has to be done.
Self and worth.
Self worth on Earth.

What is yours?
Done the chores?
That is it?
Damn, that's a little bit.

Getting super rich?
Being a stuck up umm Mitch?
I would say bitch.
But scratched the equal opportunity itch.

A plastic head?
Plastic cards instead?
Jones's wannabes are you?
Who do they look up to?

Question for another day.
This is self worth at play.
How do you judge?
Does it have a smudge?

A day saver?
A close shaver?
The barber self worth.
Can't find that all over Earth.

What is yours?
Better than chores?
Why does one care?
Self worth to spare?

All self worth-ed out today? Who came up with self worth any way? Can be happy as can be just being we. Yeah, we, as the cat will count Pat too at our sea. Have good self worth? Hopefully it is easier than giving birth. I'll go check with the singing bass. Maybe he'll tell my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Believe But Takes A Strut!

The cat sees it all the time and has probably even used this but chime. We've been down the but road before but this is a different one to explore. Why is that? Just follow the cat.

The ideas can weave,
In and up, out and down.
They come to believe,
Or they skip town.

But that's not all.
Nope, not one bit.
The writing may be on the wall,
And it may be bullshit.

But the but is there.
The but is just in case.
Need the but to spare,
So you don't get screwed by aliens from space.

I don't believe but...
That is given a go.
Why the but rut?
It's obvious, no?

Hedge your bets.
Cover your ass.
Even that of pets,
With your but sass.

A but for a butt.
Who would have thought?
It makes the cut,
So one won't rot.

A but flip flopper.
Is that a thing?
Don't call a copper,
I made the flip flopping fling.

Say that three times fast.
I bet there's a but.
No? But in the past?
Bravo on breaking the rut.

I don't believe but...
Is used every day.
I don't believe but...
Will come what may.

People on the fence,
Or trying to appease.
Or maybe just dense.
Either way, they give a but breeze.

Do you use I don't believe but there at your hut? Throw a but in just in case? Don't want egg on your face. Who throws egg anyway? That would not make Old McDonald's day. I am done with my but sass. Yep, I believe that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Fill you rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Cheap Thrill Fits The Bill!

The cat doesn't need it right away, unless you have cat nip on display. That I'll take far and near. I may roll in it with my rhyming rear. But some like the cheap thrill. They think it fits the bill.

Cheap Thrills R Us.
We have a big bus.
Come and join in.
Take one for a spin.

Why cook food?
That is just rude.
Throw salt on for the taste.
Nothing goes to waste.

Why build a blog following?
Pffft that is hollowing.
Just write and spam away.
Followed you, follow me back today.

Why write a full book?
Bah, can't give that a look.
Put out a chapter at a time.
That sure isn't a crime.

Why build a mailing list?
People may get missed.
Just spam everyone near and far.
You'll get them even in their car.

Why do something new?
A shitty remake will do.
Who needs such extra work.
Rip off another like a jerk.

Why pay off debt?
Take that money and bet.
It is a simple notion.
You may get a debt promotion.

Why build a business up?
Just run like a pup.
Brown nose a ton. 
That will get it done.

Why build a following at all?
Just give a thrill from wall to wall.
50% off today with every order.
75% off next week across the border.

Cheap Thrills 4 U.
We'll give you two.
Grab them today,
Before they float away.

Are you a cheap thrill junky? Don't you think it is a little funky? Always wanting a cheap thrill to fit the bill. Waiting can't come due. Oh no, not you. You need it now. It must also wow. I'll give you some cheap gas. It's so thrilling when it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Embarrassment Day Comes To Play!

The cat does whatever he likes and embarrassment never strikes. I can whack my head or roll out of bed. Whoopdi friggin doo I say and be on my way. You humans though, you take it with a red glow.

Embarrassment is had,
At every human pad.
A little of this and that.
It never seems to scat.

When really it is scat.
In the end and all of that.
Can't actually bury it though,
Just so you know.

But you can let it go.
Whoopdi friggin doo, you know.
Of course that you do.
I've said it a time or two.

So you smack your head.
So you roll out of bed.
So out pops some talk,
That you didn't need to squawk.

So your pants fell down.
So you went bare ass through town.
As long as no arrest came due,
No harm really done to you.

So you fell down some stairs.
So you let loose a few swears.
So you wore mismatched clothes.
So you got caught talking to crows.

So...fill in the blank.
There is plenty of gas in the tank.
Embarrassment always wants to play.
Like a control freak it has its way.

Unless it does not.
You control the plot.
Embarrassment is your slave.
That embarrassing path you pave.

Take away the path,
Throw it in the bath.
Pull the plug,
You sank the thug.

How about that?
Taught by a cat.
Embarrassed by it?
Bah, screw that shit.

Do you let embarrassment get the better of you? We still give a whoopdi friggin doo. Can only bother you if you let it most times. It must be so embarrassing though to be mimes. But with a white face you'd never know. Does embarrassment make you glow? I'm not embarrassed to go roll in the grass with my ever so wiggly little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Cassie Cat And Orlin Kitty Take One Walk Through The City!

Ever have something pop into your head and it wanted to be said? Not sure why this popped in. It popped in when Pat was sitting on the loo at our bin. TMI for you? Bah, no such thing at our zoo.

Cassie Cat and Orlin Kitty
They both live in a great big city.
It's not so great and not so big,
But they can still dance a jig.

It is as easy as can be.
Even when bored out of your tree.
Not sure why you'd live in a tree.
That's not something you have to share with me.

Back to jig dancing here and there.
Why is that easy at our city lair?
A bar in every corner just for you.
They even have attractions to view.

Like the Hulk at the door,
Hulking out forever more.
The pee filled and dripping over loo.
I hear that is abstract art to a few.

And when that is over and done.
Prepare yourself for such fun.
You can go for a good long walk.
You may trip and fall if you gawk.

Or if you did one before two.
Outdoors is a much better loo.
So I guess one before two has a perk.
Not sure drunks walking can really work.

Get a mutt to guide you along.
Maybe whistle a cheery song.
Suck in those car fumes as you walk.
Maybe you'll get a tye dye Mohawk.

Last but not least comes fun.
It must surely be done.
You walk and drink.
My, that ought to tickle you pink.

Can a drink tickle and turn one pink?
Maybe Bigfoot is the missing link.
I don't know about any of that.
I'll just hideaway where I'm at.

Orlin Kitty and Cassie Cat.
Both stay where they are at.
It's not so big and not so great,
But it beats overflowing loos at any rate.

The cat just saw a few and it popped in at our zoo. Not sure why it did on the loo. Anything in your place more to do? Drink and walk. My, maybe throw in gawk. Seen one tree, you've seen them all. Unless your a dog at your hall. Then you have to mark each one you pass. That would be far too much work for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Crazy Plot Of Cheap Or Not!

The cat is as cheap as can be. No need for big fancy toys for me. Just give me the box that it was in and I'm quite happy at my bin. Get where this is going? On with my flowing.

Cheap it is.
A nasty biz.
You can't buy cheap.
Not in any heap.

It will be no fun.
Not worth a run.
Hell, not worth a thing.
Not even a fling.

Spend that dough.
High not low.
Spend it all.
Get art for the wall.

Spare no expense.
Don't be dense.
Get the very best.
It always passes the test.

Cheap won't thrill.
Your wallet may fill,
But that will be it.
Don't buy cheap shit.

Screw the wallet.
Go and call it.
Call the expensive place.
Let go of your cheap embrace.

Purse is that same.
Filling it is lame.
Don't go buying cheap.
Dig down nice and deep.

Whip out that card.
It isn't so hard.
Buy the best around.
Did you hear that sound?

The sound of the best.
You ignored the rest.
You bought the top dog.
Whoops, still eats a brown log.

But it was tops.
Who cares if it flops.
Top of the pile.
The best by a mile.

The cat knows a nut that always needs the best. He's in debt worse than the rest. Yeah, that is sure the way to be for things like TP. You can't go cheap there. Can hurt the butt crack at ones lair. Always the expensive one are you for everything at your zoo? Give the cat a box and some grass and I'm a happy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Best Way Here Today!

Humans need advice by the ton and the simplest answer is usually the right one. So the cat will help you out today. At least I'll pretend to anyway.

The best way,
Comes to play.
In many a way,
The best shall play.

The best way to,
Here are a few.
A few you know.
But you need tell and show.

The best way to write a book?
You need to write at your nook.
Woweeeee, wasn't that grand?
You now know and can take a stand.

The best way to find if your product will sell?
Well, try and sell it where you dwell.
Woweeee, another grand one from me.
And I'm doing this all for free.

The best way to become a teacher?
Teach and don't become a preacher.
Woweeee, look at me go.
That is three in a row.

The best way to learn?
Read and do at every turn.
Woweeee, I'm on a roll.
Glad I can help humans get out of a hole.

The best way to know if a date will be good?
Is to go on the date at your hood.
Woweeee, this is getting scary.
I hope your dates aren't really hairy.

The best way to get some rest?
Is to go rest to get back your zest.
Woweee, who knew you'd just need sleep?
Oh right, I did at my keep. 

The best way,
Came to play.
Had its say,
And went away.

Did it sink in?
Is your head in a spin?
Woweee, that is cool.
When your head spins, don't drool.

The cat will now go take a rest. He is tired after telling you each ways best. Did some you know? Did some make a light bulb glow? Hopefully not the later is the case. That would be a rather bad embrace. The best way for me to give sass? That is to be a little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.