Dave Barry's Blog, page 4021

IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN

Bambi strikes back. (Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WILL BE: 'AH, APRIL FOOL.'

But you will be wrong (scroll down): Three new species of bacteria, which are not found on Earth and which are highly resistant to ultra-violet radiation, have been discovered in the upper stratosphere by Indian scientists. The samples were gathered...

ANOTHER NAME THAT, BECAUSE OF OUR STRICT POLICY, WE ARE NOT MAKING FUN OF

...can be found in this article. (Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

IF YOU NEED THE WARNING, YOU'RE PROBABLY TOO STUPID TO READ IT

Warning sought for burger the size of your head GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. – The staff dietitian at a doctors group is asking the West Michigan Whitecaps to put a warning label on the enormous new hamburger that it's selling this...

VAMPIRE UPDATE

Yeast-powered fuel cell feeds on human blood (Thanks to Jerry)

WE JUST HOPE IRAN DOESN'T GET HOLD OF ONE

The Field Microwave (Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

COLLEGE

It's educational. (Thanks to Allen at Division)

THE VIOLENT UPRISING OF THE DOGS

It will be soon. (Thanks to Allen at Division)

UPDATE ON THE NOW-LEGENDARY MOTORIZED-BARSTOOL DUI INCIDENT

We now have audio. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

MEANWHILE, BUDDY MAINTAINS A DIGNIFIED SILENCE

(Thanks to Siouxie)