Dave Barry's Blog, page 3989

PREGNANT COUGAR UPDATE

She has been found. (Thanks to Bruce Kizer)

REMINDER

Tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern Secret Cabal Time. Be here, or be a horse's rear.

WE WANT TO MOVE TO THE PART OF CHINA WHERE THEY MAKE BEER

OFFICIALS in a county in central China have been told to smoke nearly a quarter million packs of locally made cigarettes annually or risk being fined, state media reports. (Thanks to Allen at Division)

THIS IS A START, BUT THEY ALSO NEED TO SHOOT THE MACHINE

7 arrested following karaoke brawl (Thanks to Allen at Division)

THE WILD WEST?

Not so much. (Thanks to Janice Gelb)

ATTENTION, FLORIDIANS

A pregnant cougar is on the loose. (Thanks to trustf8)

YEEPERS

Denbigh woman wakes up with snake on her lap

NEBRASKA: MORE GOING ON THAN YOU THINK

Couple Ticketed For Hiding Monkey In Closet (Thanks to Siouxie)

TAKE YOUR DAUGHTERS AND SONS TO WORK DAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

So he took out a handheld stun device and zapped them with 50,000 volts of electricity. Key Explanation That Makes Total Sense, on Mars: "When they said 'sure,' I went ahead and did it." (Thanks to CJrun)

CSI: GRANDVILLE

Fiberglass giraffe head swiped from Michigan roadside (Thanks to Chris Lawson)