Dave Barry's Blog, page 3992

TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the bastards are using birds, which in turn are using fish. (Thanks to Tomfor)

AND YET YOU KNOW SHE WOULD UNHESITATINGLY EAT HIM AGAIN

Dog almost dies after eating Homer (Thanks to Matt Filar)

THUS OPENING UP THE POSSIBILITY OF THE FIRST-EVER DEATH SENTENCE FOR JAYWALKING

Mr. T called for jury duty (Thanks to Chaim Schneider)

SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR ROTO-ROOTER

(Thanks to B'game)

WHEN YOU ARE TALKING CLASS

...you are talking Florida Gators. (Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

THIS JUST IN FROM ABROAD

(Thanks to DavCat)

ADVISORY FOR CONSUMERS WISHING TO RETURN SOMETHING TO RADIO SHACK

Be advised that they have a strict policy. (Thanks to catmanmax)

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST DO DRUGS, LIKE IN THE OLD DAYS?

Nude water-gun tag getting high school seniors in trouble (Thanks to Rob Johnson)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

"Octomom the Musical" now casting (Thanks to catmanmax)

ANOTHER GIANT LEAP FOR GEEKDOM MANKIND

Computer scientists add smell to games (Thanks to catmanmax)