Dave Barry's Blog, page 3969

OUT OF HERE

I'm going to spend the weekend watching my daughter and her friends run around and fall down and cheer and cry and hug each other in a big soccer tournament, so I won't be blogging much, if at all. You...

CRIME DOES NOT PAY

Would-be gangster shoots off own manhood (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE DEMAND A RECOUNT

A study ranking states by driving ability does not have Florida last. (Thanks to hockey pup)

CSI: FOND DU LAC

Someone donning an ape costume entered Kwik Trip at 1123 W. Johnson St. late Wednesday or early Thursday and took the banana display, said Fond du Lac Police Department Capt. Steve Klein. (Thanks to Horace LaBadie and nursecindy)

YUCK

Worms crawl in, don't crawl out at Calif. morgue (Thanks to DavCat)

CALL US CRAZY, BUT WE THINK ALCOHOL MAY HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

(Thanks to Andrew Hoenig)

REMINDS US OF COLLEGE

(Thanks to Siouxie)

SO WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

(Thanks to bb1diane)

BECAUSE, DARN IT, IF NOBODY DOES ANYTHING, THEN NOTHING WILL GET DONE

Do your part for Roanoke Earthquake Relief. (Thanks to jon harris)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A CLASSY AFFAIR

Groom arrested at wedding reception in spat over saggy pants (Thanks to queensbee)