Dave Barry's Blog, page 3973

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICERS?

...Detora went into the bathroom, defecated on the floor, smeared feces on the walls, and then set paper towels and toilet paper on fire. Which is all well and good, except he did this in a police station. (Thanks to...

FURTHER PROOF THAT THEY ARE ALIEN BEINGS

Spider-cat climbs walls (Thanks to Siouxie)

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY TAKE SERIOUSLY IN GERMANY?

Asparagus. (Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

24

Here is where we stand: Jack is still dying, as he has been since approximately 1986. Last week he caught Tony, but two members of the evil cabal found Kim at the airport when her flight was delayed; they told...

FINALLY, CANADA TAKES ACTION

(Thanks to Allen at Division and Jeff Meyerson)

MEN, YOU KNOW HOW WE ARE ALWAYS TELLING YOU NOT TO CLICK ON A LINK, AND YOU DO ANYWAY?

We really mean it this time. ("Thanks" to catmanmax)

YOU WANT TO SAVE THE 911 CALL FOR THE BIG STUFF, SUCH AS FAILURE TO MOW THE LAWN

BEDFORD: An Ohio man who argued with his grown son over a messy bedroom says he overreacted when he called 911.... The father declined to press charges and told police he doesn't want to ruin his son's political career. The...

FLORIDA WILDLIFE UPDATE FROM THE S.B.

At the lake near my library, ibis are prevalent; catching them mid-flight can be tricky... So of course you check to see if you got the shot. But what's that thing on the right side of the pict... yikes!

REMINDER

It's a two-hour show tonight, starting at 8 p.m. Eastern Season Finale Time. Be at this url, or be a person who is just about to hurl.

THIS IS CLEARLY GOING TO BE THE BEST MOVIE EVER

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus Key Scenes: Shark attacks on the Golden Gate Bridge and a commercial jet. (Thanks to Linda Pocatelli, who says this apparently is a real movie)