Dave Barry's Blog, page 3913

'COME ON IN! THE WATER'S APPROXIMATELY 83 PERCENT BODILY FLUIDS!'

(Thanks to Siouxie)

DOGS MAY NOT BE ROCKET SCIENTISTS

But you don't see them betting on us. (Thanks to Mary Lyall)

GIANT ALASKA BLOB UPDATE

Turns out it's just algae. Or so they want us to believe. (Thanks to frodolives)

AND THE SO-CALLED 'FEDERAL GOVERNMENT' DOES NOTHING

Chandler woman burns bum on penny left on car seat (Thanks to DavCat)

ALSO KNOWN AS A MIAMI HORN

Those purchasing a vehicle at Max Motors in Missouri will receive an AK-47 assault rifle with their purchase during the month of August. (Thanks to nursecindy)

ATTENTION, LADIES

He's single! (Thanks to Larry Martell and Ralph)

'A LEGEND IN EVERY POSSIBLE SENSE'

We're sure he is. Unfortunately, because of our strict policy against making fun of names, we cannot link to this item. (Thanks to Grey Ghost)

MAYBE HE JUST HATED DOING LAUNDRY

A German man caught trying to steal three pairs of men's underpants from a sports hall was found to have amassed more than 1,000 pairs in his home, police said. (Thanks to Mitch)

IT SHOULD ALSO SHOW WHERE YOU CAN GET POTATO CHIPS

Dude: Apple has a new app. (Thanks to catmanmax)

WHICH IS WHY WE NEED STRICT FEDERAL CONTROLS ON ALL OF THESE THINGS

Police on Sunday said they broke up a fight that involved a hammer, a television and logs from a fireplace. (Thanks to Claire Martin)