Dave Barry's Blog, page 182

TWEET (burp) TWEET

Wildlife officials warn of drunk birds

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WE APPROVE

King Charles wanted to control the grey squirrel population by lacing Nutella with a contraceptive... but now the Government has revived the idea

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

TRY TO GUESS WHAT EVENT THEY CAME UP WITH

���We���ve really wanted to have an event that would bring the entire Wichita community together,��� said Greer Cowley, director of donor relations and community engagement for HumanKind Ministries. ���We know how important it is to bring different groups together.���

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner) 

(YOUR 'ELEPHANT EARS' JOKE HERE)

King Charles and Camilla choose coronation quiche as signature dish

(Thanks to Joe Hicks)

TALK ABOUT YOUR WORTHY CAUSES

Bruce McConville, the Ottawa businessman who told an incredulous judge in 2020 that he burned $1 million in cash so his ex-wife wouldn���t get a dime was set to have a fundraiser for himself on Saturday to pay legal bills.

(Thanks to B&C)

WHAT?

I dream of high style and higher thread counts, instead I got audible bowel movements

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

THERE IS NOTHING LOWER THAN AN UMLAUT MISAPPROPRIATOR

Jethro Tull legend Ian Anderson says Mot��rhead and M��tley Cr��e are misappropriating umlauts

(Thanks to Ralph) 

OOPS

Athletics Ireland sorry for mix-up that led to national 10km race being too short

(Thanks to Jordan Lampe)

LOCH NESS MONSTER UPDATE

This blog takes a daily walk on a route that includes a bridge across a canal in Coral Gables. Yesterday this blog took the following photograph from that bridge. Can there be ANY DOUBT about what the photograph shows? OPEN YOUR EYES, PEOPLE.

RIGHT AFTER WE START EATING INSECTS

Will world���s first edible battery supercharge our diets?

(Thanks to Barry Nester)