Lysa TerKeurst's Blog, page 34

Easter, Might You Linger A Bit Longer?

On Easter morning I awoke weary from being sick. That awful kind of sick that makes you want to meet Jesus rather than battle through to get well.

I prayed for my friends battling health issues that won’t end in a couple of days. My heart aching on their behalf, I begged for them mercy and relief and healing.

Then I put pen to paper to let my soul find its personal place with this year’s Resurrection Day.

And I’m still writing. Slowly. Reflectively.

I know what glorious, glorious things this Holy Day says to the world at large.

But what does Jesus want me to know, to think about, to wrestle through this time? This season of new beginnings? I don’t think Easter is quite done with me yet.

So, I’m lingering here for a bit longer.

I feel like the girl who wears the same outfit to school two days in a row. Easter is a bit done now. Time to put it back in the closet. Only for me it isn’t. I want to wear it again today, tomorrow, and many more tomorrows.

After all, Easter is no longer a ritual to me. It’s a revelation. A time where Jesus splits my soul along the fault line of a scar deep within. I was an unwanted child to my birth dad.

Unwanted.

But to Jesus… I was wanted so much that He gave His life for me. It feels so personal. Even though I know God “so loved the world, He gave His son,” it becomes very individual if we let it.

Be personal.

With Jesus.

Yes.

So, in the midst of a world all putting Easter away, might we let it sit with us for just a bit more?

I keep my Bible open to the place where the angel spoke to the women at the tomb. And I tangle my prayers around His Words from Matthew 28:

“Do not be afraid,”- God, I hand over to You those things that make me so afraid. Resurrect the parts of my faith squelched by fear.

“I know you are looking for Jesus,”- God, when my soul is searching help me know the answer to every longing can be found in You.

“He has risen,”- God, the fact that Jesus is risen should lift my head, my heart, and my attitude. Help me to live today as if I really believe this with every part of my life.

“just as he said,”- Jesus, You keep Your promises. Help me live as though I believe that with every part of me. Help me trust You more, obey You more, and resemble You more.

“Come and see,”- Jesus, You had the angels invite the women in to see for themselves that You had risen. You invite me into these personal revelations everyday. Forgive me that I sometimes rush about and forget to come and see for myself… You, Your Word, Your insights.

“Then go quickly and tell his disciples,”- Jesus, I don’t want to be a secret keeper with my faith. I want to be a bold and gracious truth proclaimer. For You. With You. Because of You. Me, the unwanted girl who You loved, redeemed, and wanted.

In Jesus’ Name.

Yes, let this miraculous Easter be personal. And prayerful. And linger a bit longer.

Related posts:

My Hearing
The Unraveling Of A Marriage
Please Don’t Give me a Christian Answer

Friday Favorite: Brag to Win!

I have three favorites all tied into this week’s Friday Favorite.

1. I love my friend, Shaunti Feldhahn, and her passion to help marriages. Her book, For Women Only, has just been revised and updated! Full of amazing insights and current research to help wives understand their husbands, this is a book you don’t want to miss.

2. I love giveaways! And Shaunti is allowing me to give away 5 signed copies of her book, For Women Only. All you have to do is leave a comment below bragging on your husband, your son, or some other special man in your life. We’ll choose 5 commenters to each win a copy of this book.

3. I love marriage advice! Watch this video below where Shaunti explains why it’s important for us to learn to brag on our man. (Don’t forget to leave a comment below after you watch the video for your chance to win.)

Happy Friday!

Related posts:

An Interview With Jud Wilhite
Let Yourself Believe He Loves You
13 Minutes and 54 Seconds

Don’t Kick the Anthill

I stood at the little red dirt mound watching ants. They were busy. I was not.

The afternoon had been a little too slow for me. Several of my friends had gotten an invitation to the community pool. Another friend was at camp for the week. Even my very last resort, the pigtailed aggravation that lived in the apartment below ours, was busy. “She’s napping,” her mom had informed me.

I walked away thinking, “She’s 6 years old. Only two years younger than me and she still takes naps? That’s the awfullest thing a mom could do to her child. And this is now the awfullest afternoon ever.”

I sat on the swing of the sad little playground behind our apartment complex. I scuffed the toes of my red Keds, making lines in the dirt as I moved slowly back and forth. If a child could have died from boredom, I felt quite terminal at that moment.

Then I spotted the anthill.

I walked over and stood there. Just about the time I was thinking about how lucky all those ants were to have so many friends, I heard a scratchy little voice call out to me.

“I bet you won’t stick your foot through that anthill.” Pigtailed girl had woken up from her afternoon slumber. And for heaven’s sake I would not, could not be shamed by a girl who still took naps.

I knew with my mind I shouldn’t kick the anthill. I knew with my heart I shouldn’t kick the anthill. And I knew deep down in my soul I shouldn’t kick the anthill. I knew. Every part of me knew I should walk away from the anthill.

But some silly part of my mouth betrayed me.

“Yes I will!” I declared as I kicked my foot into the middle of ant Hades.

It didn’t take long to feel as if someone had lit 1,000 needles on fire and was stabbing me mercilessly.

Since that day I haven’t kicked an anthill. At least not in the literal sense.

But I have gotten myself into situations where I invited trouble into my life that just didn’t need to be there. Especially in the area of saying yes to something I absolutely should say no to.

I will know with my mind I should say no. I will know with my heart I should say no. I will know deep down in my soul I should say no.

But then my mouth will betray me, “Yes, of course I will do that.”

And then?

The sting of the three d’s comes…

Dread- As I write yet another thing on my schedule, I feel the weight of overload.

Disappointment- In order to make this happen, I will disappoint someone. Time is like money in the bank, there is only so much of it. And once it runs out, any further expenditures will cause an overdrawn account.

Drama- Dread and disappointment will ratchet my emotions to a tipping point. A tipping point that’s not healthy for me or those with whom I do life.

Here’s what I’m trying to preach to myself: Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it.

I kicked the anthill that day for three reasons… I thought it proved I was something. I thought it would impress nap girl. And because I didn’t think through the cost beforehand.

Maybe, before saying yes to one more thing on my schedule today, I should ask myself…

Am I trying to prove something?

Am I trying to impress someone?

Have I thought through the cost of saying yes?

It’s not bad to say yes to opportunities. But we really should consider whether this is an assignment or an anthill.

Take the assignment if it’s yours. But, don’t kick the anthills.

“He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray,” (Proverbs 10:17).

Related posts:

I Want to Run Away
Dream Bigger, Start Smaller
Sweating in church

Friday Favorites: Spring into Spring

I thought it might be nice to just drop a little fun into your Fridays for a while. This series might last a few weeks or maybe a few months… who knows? But for a while my Friday posts will be where I share some favorite findings from that week.

This week’s theme is Spring into Spring. Completely original, I know. As is the song playing in my mind while writing this. Think Sound of Music… these are a few of my favorite things.

Now that we’ve got our soundtrack let’s take a look:

1. Grilled Salmon Salad. Yum. Yes, please.

2. According to fashion people much smarter than me, yellow is the thing this Spring. There’s just something delightful about pairing yellow with blue and white.

3. Barefoot in Barcelona. I’m not sure if this is a wish or a nail color. Either way, it works for me.

4. I’m in like with bubble necklaces right now. This like may only last another week or two but for now this color and style makes my heart happy.

5. A gold leaf plate from Target. This is one of the many reasons I have to limit my trips to this store. Or make a list and stick to it. Who am I kidding, I never stick to my list at Target.

6. This candle holder said it’s “monogrammable.” I love that word. And I really like candles.

7. This is the cutest wedding invitation! Seriously creative, charming, and so sweet. It starts out by saying, “Adam Stafford (such a fine gentleman suitor) is madly in love with Lindsay Michelle Kreis (a fair loving sweetheart) who adores him in return, which is why they have decided to wed”

Lindsay is on my team here at Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s amazing! As of May she will be married to Adam! He is a graphic designer. A really talented one as you can see. Adam can be hired. Lindsay cannot. Smiles.

Well, there you have it. Some fun things I found while poking around on the world wide web. When I should have been writing. Shhhh…. I know you won’t tell my editor. I love that about you.

And if you have some favorites, do share a link or two in the comments below. I’ll be needing some delightful distractions during my writing sessions this weekend. Happy Friday!

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5 Things To Help You Stop Thinking and Start Doing…
The Moment To Start
Pinterest anyone?

The Most Non-Crazy Woman I’ve Ever Met

After staring at a computer screen with nothing but a title for way too long, I’ve finally started writing my next book. It’s a crazy process for me. And one I can’t stand doing alone.

So, might you take a little peek into my world of words being strung together, thoughts getting sorted out, and a whisper of a book being formed?

If you would please, tuck your thoughts in a comment below. I’d love to hear how this speaks to you. And if you have any ideas for what you’d like to see covered in a book about helping women know when to say yes and how to say no, I’m all ears. And typing fingers.

And very grateful for smart blog friends.

She was knocking at my front door trying to balance her paper coffee cup, her purse, her cell phone, and a stack of papers. She was also trying to fix something on her shoe. She hopped a step or two when I answered the door.

I smiled. And although I had been feeling a little off kilter all morning, her imperfect posture delighted my mind. She smiled back and hopped one more time.

Finally, whatever was wrong with her shoe seemed to be fixed. She stood up and smiled with an apologetic smile that made me adore her before we’d ever had our first conversation.

She spent all day with my family and me. She was a reporter doing a story on our sons adopted from Africa. Her questions were honest and unassuming. Her demeanor kind. Her laugh delightfully loud. Her paperwork messy. But her focus clear.

She was there to uncover a story.

To write a string of words to tell a story.

That day was about the story.

So she stayed focused on the task at hand. She wasn’t encumbered with a thousand other things pulling at her. She didn’t try to multi-task too much. She wasn’t a slave to her cell phone. She wasn’t running late or running from one thing to the next.

She said no to everything else pulling at her. So she could say yes to the story. She gave it her best yes.

At the writing of this, I have no idea how well the story will turn out. But this woman who demonstrated a best yes that day left a lasting impression on my family for sure.

Later at dinner my husband, Art, asked the kids to go around the table and say one word to describe the reporter.

“Nice.”

“Humble.”

“Classy.”

“Elegant.”

“Humble.”

Then there may or may not have been an awesome little exchange from an older sibling to the youngest child, “You can’t say humble. I just said humble. You always want to copy what I have to say!”

I love family bonding.

But I really love the collective experience of this non-crazy woman. And the words my kids used to describe her.

Art went on to ask the kids to explain what she did and how she carried herself that led us to use such great words to describe her. Then he turned the conversation on each of us.

“If you want people to use such great words to describe you, think about the decisions you are making. How are they leading people to describe you?”

Great descriptions are birthed from great decisions.

And there it was. A small beginning of a big thing to ponder. A clue that better decisions might help make better lives for the souls of women caught in craziness. Snagged. Worn out. Worn down. Ragged.

The decisions we make, make the life we live. So if we want to live better, we’ve got to decide better. Yes. No. The two most powerful words in the English language.

They can run us if we don’t intentionally run them. Guard them. Guide them. Use yes and no to work for us. Can you imagine how great life would be if you didn’t dread saying yes and felt completely and unapologetically empowered to say no?

Then and only then will our best selves emerge. And maybe you and I can start to be a little less crazy.

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Every Book Starts With A Sentence
Week Of Giveaways Grand Finale
The Rip Current of People-Pleasing

Bad News, Great News, and a Webcast Replay

I hope you’re having a wonderful day! We’re in the process of moving into a new Proverbs 31 Ministries office, and let me just tell you, we are sooooo very thankful for this space.

But, boy did we have a little situation here yesterday involving toilets overflowing and a ruined carpet.  That smells.  Really badly.  Like more than a Yankee Candle can handle.

And I dropped my phone in a friend’s cup of coffee.  RIP smart phone.

Have mercy.

But I have GREAT news.  If you’re one of the gals who requested the “Negative Inside Chatter” webcast replay — it’s available below! (If you’re reading this in email, click here to watch the webcast.)

If you’re scratching your head and wondering what in the world I’m talking about, here’s a recap — I recorded a webcast with my sweet friend Sheila Walsh from Women of Faith in January. We had an opportunity to recount our own personal experiences and struggles with negative inside chatter.

The replay below will be available right here on my little blog space through this Sunday. After that, you can view the replay by clicking here.

And if you’ve had a crazy situation in your life lately, do tell in the comments below. Certainly I’m not alone in the mishap department.

I’m randomly picking three commenters below to win a copy of the new Unglued Devotional: 60 Days of Imperfect Progress book.

It will help. When you want to come unglued. Like when you drop your phone in a friend’s cup of coffee.

Related posts:

Inside Chatter Webcast Replay Available
Thanks for Joining us!
Final Unglued Webcast is Live!

Dear God, Where Are You?

“Mom, I didn’t make it. Please pray for me. I just feel confused about God.”

My heart sank. I felt my daughter’s deep hurt. I felt it as clearly as if it were my own.

I know what it feels like to want something so badly and have that dream shut down. That door closed. That opportunity slip away.

She’d been talking about going for this special achievement at summer camp for 3 years. Every time we talked about camp, she talked about going for this achievement. But she wasn’t old enough to try until this year. Her 4th year at camp.

Finally, this was to be her year.

She met every challenge and could see the goal in sight…until the fire. She was supposed to light a camp fire with nothing but three matches, one small square of newspaper, and a few sticks of wood.

She struck the first match and held it up to the newspaper. It didn’t ignite. She struck the second match and held it up to the newspaper. It still didn’t ignite.

She stared at the third and final match. Knowing that a big part of the challenge was teaching the kids how to communicate with God and fully rely on Him, she’d been praying through every stage of the challenge. But now, she didn’t just pray-she cried out to God.

“Please help me, God. Please,” she mouthed as she struck the third match. She held the flame up to the paper once again and watched in complete disbelief. The matchstick burned but the paper did not.

As soon as the final match burned out, she lowered her head in defeat, and gave all her wood to the girls still in.

There were 9 girls going for this achievement. Six girls were crowned with the highest honor at camp for finishing the challenge. Three girls didn’t make it, including my daughter.

When I arrived at camp to pick her up a week later, she asked if we could go sit by ourselves and process this situation. The fact that she didn’t get the camp honor was not what was bothering her the most. What was bothering her the most was not experiencing God’s power like the other girls. They all had amazing stories of God answering their cries for help in amazing ways that carried them all the way through the challenge.

“Mom, I didn’t get that with God. Why?”

This was a tough question. One of those questions as a mom that you don’t want to mess up in answering.

I asked her to help me recall every step of her challenge so we could intentionally look for God’s hand. As she recalled every part, I listened intently for anything unusual and unexplainable.

And when she got to the fire, I found it. There was no reason her newspaper shouldn’t light. None at all. Everyone else’s paper lit. Hers should have. But it didn’t.

“Honey, that can only be explained by God intervening. He was there. He was listening. And we just have to trust that there was some reason you shouldn’t have continued that challenge. We may not know that reason, but we can certainly trust God was right there…protecting you…loving you…revealing His power to you.”

She put her head on my shoulder, “You really think so Mom?”

I whispered, “I know so.”

Yes, I know deep hurt. But I also know deep hope. So, I whispered it again, “Yes, sweetheart, I know so.”

Sometimes God’s power is shown as much in preventing things as it is in making them happen. We may never know why. But we can always know and trust the Who.

(“Dear God, Where Are You?” is a re-post from June 2012, but I just really felt like someone needed this encouragement today. I also have a post running on (in)Courage today called “I Want To Run Away.” I pray that this message speaks to you too! Click here to read that post.)

Related posts:

An Interview With Jud Wilhite
Will You Join Me?
Dear God, Where Are You?

The Most Important Lesson

Early in my motherhood adventure I realized I could solve my kid’s problems for them. Not every problem. But for the most part when they had an issue I could step in and be the solution.

Or….

I could mentor and equip my kids to solve their issues; which is much more time consuming, brain draining, and sometimes quite frustrating.

But for me, the most important lesson I want to teach my kids is how to think.

It’s that whole “give a man a fish” thing-

Give him a fish and he’ll eat for a day… or teach him to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime.

I don’t want to train my kids to only turn to me for solutions. I want to help them think in Biblically and emotionally healthy ways, so they can learn the fine art of becoming a solution finder. I want to help them learn to process life choices in grounded, mature ways.

If I only tell my kids what they can and can’t do, I’m establishing rules for them to follow. This is a part of parenting for sure- but it can’t be the whole part.

If I teach them how to think, I’m establishing healthy processing patterns that will serve them when they’re no longer under my immediate watch.

For example, I don’t want my kids to text and drive. I’ve taught them this rule. But to help them learn to process the dangers of driving while distracted, I decided to have a family discussion.

Last week, I asked each of the kids to come to a scheduled family dinner equipped to present a brief report on the dangers of texting and driving. And just as a little incentive, each person that brought their report would get their name put in a hat for a cash prize drawing.

(I’m all about incentives. And it doesn’t take much to motivate cash-poor teens.)

As the kids presented their reports, I saw the light bulbs coming on in their thinking processes. They weren’t just learning a rule; they were discovering how to think about this dangerous habit. They were passionate about it. And the best part? They all owned the solution of committing to not text and drive.

They owned it. Not because I preached a rule at them. But rather, because I helped them learn how to think through this danger for themselves.

The Bible instructs us to teach our kids the truths of God by talking and processing with them all throughout the day. Obviously, texting and driving isn’t a Biblical truth but how powerful it is to apply a Biblical mindset to every issue we face.

So be it a Scriptural truth, or processing life stuff in general, I think the secret is tucked within the beautiful words of Deuteronomy 11:18-21 (NIV):

“Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many…”

And speaking of my kids, I’m excited to announce the release of my newest book, What Happens When Young Women Say Yes to God, co-written with my daughter, Hope. Today, I’m giving away 3 copies! To be entered to win, leave a comment below telling me who you would give this book to and why.

Related posts:

Do I want to make peace or progress?
When I Want To Be Mean Too
The Boy Questions

Every Book Starts With A Sentence

One of the most common things people share with me when they find out I’m an author is that they want to write a book. And I believe they should.

Not everyone will be published but having your thoughts, life lessons, and creative stories captured in a place outside your mind is good. I would treasure one page of wisdom written by my great grandmother. But all her words died with her. And that makes me sad.

So, if you feel inspired to write- write.

If not a whole book, one page.

If not a whole page, one sentence.

After all, a book always starts with a sentence.

But if you do feel called to write a book, how does one do this? Where do you begin?

For me a book usually begins with me paying attention to three things:

* A string of life lessons I’m learning that have a common theme.

* Conversations I have with others where they bring up this same theme.

* A deep conviction that God wants me to park my brain and my heart on this topic for a good long while.

Then I put these initial thoughts about the theme of the book through a filter of questions:

* Is there an audience (beyond just my mom and my best friend) interested in this theme?

* What problem are these audience members having for which my book could be a possible solution?

* Do I have some fresh, unique, and reliable answers to share that meet the felt need of this group of people?

* Have I struggled enough with this theme to be authentically relatable as I write about it?

* Have I made enough progress in this area to handle the material in a responsible and biblical way?

I use these questions to help me hone the concept of my book. And it’s usually in this pondering and questioning of the concept of a possible book that 75% of my possible book ideas die. Because if I can’t make it work in the concept phase of a book, I won’t stay interested enough in this topic to write 60,000 words.

And heaven help the reader of a book whose author has lost interest in their own material 20,000 words in. Have you ever read a book that started off great but then started boring the mess out of you? Me too. It’s disappointing. And it’s usually because the author didn’t hone their concept enough before jumping into writing the book.

Once the concept is fully explored, it’s time to develop the content.

I start with the word count and chapter count. A typical non-fiction book for me is about 60,000 words. I personally like shorter chapters that are pretty consistent in length. So, if my chapters are going to be around 5,000 words… I will need 12 chapters.

As I look at what these 12 chapters will be, I draw a circle with 12 spokes coming out of it. In the circle I write the “focus sentence” of my book. A focus sentence is that one statement that encapsulates the value I want my reader to get from this message.

Note, I didn’t say that I write what the book is about. Nope. I write a sentence that reminds me exactly what my reader will get from this message. For example, for my book Unglued, my focus sentence was:

“This book will help a reader make imperfect progress with their reactions and therefore their relationships as they know with confidence how to better handle conflict.”

Then I start writing possible chapter ideas that stay very true to this pure focus. I use key words from my focus sentence to seed my chapter ideas and keep me “focused.”

So, based on the sentence I shared above I will come up with some chapter ideas on IMPERFECT PROGRESS, REACTIONS, RELATIONSHIPS, EXTERNAL CONFLICT RESOLUTION IDEAS, and INTERNAL CONFLICT RESOLUTION IDEAS.

Then I start writing. With a sentence. And then another. And another.

And I as write these sentences that form chapters, that eventually form a book, I remember each sentence matters. It’s my responsibility to write sentences that are authentic and inspired and true and well crafted. Not English class perfect. More conversational. With threads of personality that clearly demonstrate a consistant voice my readers have come to expect from me.

These sentences, they matter. After all, it’s not often whole books but rather sentences tucked within chapters that change people’s lives.

And at the end of the day, that’s why I sit at my computer and tap these keys for hours at a time. I love untangling thoughts that might possibly be used by God to help another.

It’s a process, this book writing thing. It’s hard and messy and crazy time-consuming. But what a wondrous thing to have words that live on beyond us. Sentences that linger and continue to inspire. Yes, please.

And if you’d like a little help with writing or speaking, click here to learn more about the She Speaks Conference I’m hosting this summer. I’d love to meet you and encourage you as you take those next steps. With sentences. And books.

Related posts:

Do I want to make peace or progress?
Sometimes I Talk Too Much
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Personalized Scripture Boxes

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine gave me one of my favorite gifts ever. It wasn’t expensive. It wasn’t complicated.

But it was special.

It was just what I needed. A daily reminder of God’s love typed out on strips of paper, folded, and placed in a box.

The Scriptures were personalized. Like little love notes sent from God’s heart to mine.

I have since given this gift to many friends. Friends that needed a reminder. A fresh perspective. A simple note of truth in the middle of their day. Tucked in a little box.

This is such a sweet gift for that person in your life going through a hard time.

Or someone who could use an extra dose of daily encouragement.

Or that friend you want to make feel extra special.

And you know what else I really love about this? It helps this craft challenged, non-baking girl actually make a gift for someone that doesn’t scare them. Or cause them to wonder if my kindergartner made it.

Which would be especially crazy since I don’t have a kindergartner.

So, there you have it. A special gift. For a special someone. Full of specially chosen truths.

And because I love to give these away, leave a comment below with either your name or a friend’s name. I’ll pick a winner today and we’ll send out a personalized Scripture box to you to keep or give away.

Below are 10 suggested personalized Scriptures to get you started. If you’d like all 31 verses I use, I’ll send them to you as a thank you for subscribing to my blog today.

Click here to subscribe to my blog.

If you already subscribe to my blog and are reading this through email right now, look at the bottom of the email for a link to download the file.

Enjoy…

I anointed you, {insert name here}, set My seal of ownership on you, and put My Spirit in your heart as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. 2 Corinthians 1:21b-22

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate you, (insert name here), from My love that is in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:39

Because of Jesus, you, {insert name here}, are free from all condemnation. Romans 8:1

In Christ, you, are a new creation, {insert name here}. The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free, {insert name here}. Do not let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is My steadfast love toward you, {insert name here}. As far as the east is from the west, I remove your transgressions. Psalm 103:11-12

For you are My handiwork, {insert name here}, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which I prepared in advance for you to do. Ephesians 2:10

Since you have been raised with Christ, {insert name here}, set your heart on things above, where Christ is, seated at My right hand. Colossians 3:1

My peace, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus, {insert name here}. Philippians 4:7

I will meet all your needs, {insert name here}, according to the riches of My glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

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