Lysa TerKeurst's Blog, page 36

The Cussing Thoughts

The sky was blue. The snow crisp white. The mountain slopes full of choices to be made. Which run will we take?

A “blue run” is what we tackled first.

This is how slopes are labeled by the ski officials. The officials whose job it is to inform skiiers exactly what they’re about to get into. Yes, those of us crazy enough to strap slick glorified popsicle sticks to our feet and careen down a mountain, need to be informed.

Green for beginners. Blue for intermediates. Black for the advanced and those who think they are advanced until they get too far to turn back. Bummer.

No, we would be smart with this skiing thing. We wouldn’t overestimate our abilities. We wouldn’t be tackling the black runs. But blue? Yes please.

So blue it was. The sky and the run. The perfect skiing adventure.

Until.

The moguls.

We’d been on several lovely runs down the same slope when Art suggested we try a different lift. Taking us to a different slope. Hunh? I am emotionally allergic to different. I like to discover something that’s good and stick with it. Why mess with what’s working? With what feels good?

Um, no thanks.

“It will be great,” he insisted and headed on over to the new lift.

Either I was going to follow him or be left behind. He was going. That’s when I had my first not so nice thought. I call them cussing thoughts. It’s not that I was actually saying cuss words. No, more like really negative thoughts that I wouldn’t want to be broadcast out loud. You know what I mean?

Yes.

So.

A new slope it would be.

Things started out well. But then we hit this place that made the designers of said slope giggle when deciding just how to make this run interesting. Have you ever heard people say something like, “Everything was going fine until we hit a little bump in the road”? Yes, well, try a steep mountain full of nothing but bumps. Like the kind that could careen you off the side of the mountain. Or snap your legs in half.

Oh I kid not.

As fear coursed through every fiber of my body, my mind filled up with all things negative and derogatory.

What’s so ironic is just an hour before I was helping my friend Laci learn to ski. She was terrified. I was confident.

“You can do this,” I assured. “Don’t look down the mountain, and think you can’t get through this. Look across the mountain. Just ski from side to side on the slopes and before you know it you’ll be safely at the bottom.”

I hadn’t really taught Laci how to ski. I’d taught her how to think. And when she got into the right mental mode, she learned to ski.

She had to resist the cussing thoughts so she could choose the corrected thoughts. Because dark thoughts are like a black run down the mountain. Once you get on the black slope of cussing thoughts they’ll take you down to places you don’t want to go.

Now it was my turn to apply my own advice. And I failed miserably. I made that run so much more difficult by letting the cussing thoughts come in and bring me down.

How like life.

Every day we’re going to hit bumpy spots in life.

Someone will do something that rubs you wrong. Cussing thoughts or corrected thoughts?

A situation doesn’t go the way you hoped it would. Cussing thoughts or corrected thoughts?

You don’t get that opportunity you felt you deserved. Cussing thoughts or corrected thoughts?

A cussing thought can become a corrected thought by asking three questions:

* Is this thought in line with truth?

* Is this thought in line with who I am?

* Is this thought in line with who I want to be?

God has taught me how to think using His truth but I have to make the choice to apply what I’ve learned.

God has called me a child of God but I have to choose to live this legacy.

God has challenged me to grow in my knowledge of Him but I have to choose whether or not to display this growth through my actions.

(We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” 2 Corinthians 10:5.)

The sky was blue. The snow crisp white. The mountain slopes full of choices to be made. Which run will we take?

P.S. Before I sign off… I’ve got some great news! On January 29th at 9pm EST I’ll be hosting a live, FREE Webcast with Women of Faith’s Sheila Walsh! We are so excited to be able to share with you a little more about what we’ve learned about these “cussing thoughts”. So mark those calendars, invite some friends over, and tune in, right here at www.lysaterkeurst.com – more details to come on how to sign up so check back soon!

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Problems, Problems

I sat at my desk truly feeling the desire to cry. And I’m not a crying person. But a problem I was trying to figure out led to another that led to a whole can of worms being opened. As the list of problems grew so did my anxiety.

I put my head on my desk and willed myself to keep breathing. Don’t get emotional. Stay logical. Pray hard. Gather smart people around you. Get advice. Pray hard again.

As I walked through my problem, I started really studying how other people going through problems were reacting to them. Some were reacting in ways I wanted to emulate. Others made me bug my eyes out and shake my head.

Watching others from the vantage point of my own struggle made me see several categories of problem reactors:

* The sky is falling reactors- These people panic. When a problem arises they feel an urgency that if things aren’t fixed immediately then they are doomed. They talk about the problem in extremes using words like, “never,” “always,” “huge,” and “urgent.” They want to pull others into their panic and seem to thrive off of the adrenaline of the moment.

* Eeyore reactors- These people shut down when problems arise. They want to avoid dealing with the issue at hand. They would rather navigate around a problem than solve it. Eeyore reactors hope someone else will figure it out or that the problem will just go away on its own. They let the anxiety of the problem pull them into a funk. Then they resign things will probably not get better anytime soon. Misery loves company so they invite others into their pity party.

* Thinking reactors- These people see a problem as an opportunity to think rather than an obstacle that will hold them back. They want to bring solutions to the table instead of just talking about the issues. They manage the stress of the problem by researching possible solutions. Thinking reactors thrive on inviting the wisdom of others who have experience in dealing with this type of problem.

I’m sure there are other categories of reactors as well. Maybe I’ll expand this list as I keep thinking about this. Maybe you want to help me think of others you see. Let’s chat about this in the comments below.

But as I look to have some new views in 2013, how I react to problems definitely makes the list.

I want to be a thinking reactor.

I’ve been amazed what a difference it makes to wisely choose our reactions to problems. I do have a choice. And what I choose not only affects me but those around me as well.

The sky is falling reactor magnifies a problem. The Eeyore reactor feels paralyzed by a problem. And the thinking reactor solves a problem.

Our choice.

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Am I Courageous Enough For A New View?

It’s a new year! And as I dive into 2013 I’m really challenging myself to approach this year with some new views on things.

A new view is changing the way I look at something. For example, if I were to close off the windows in my house and break through some different places to put windows, I’d have a new view. A new way to look at my yard.

Or in a bigger sense, I’d be looking at what I’m used to seeing, but from a different angle.

This allows me to see things I haven’t seen before which is healthy and helpful. I could see dead things that need to be replaced. I could see neglected things that need some attention. I could see thriving things that should be enjoyed more. Having a new view of my yard would facilitate this process.

Look at the common theme in each of these verses and watch how the word “new” is central to each:

Isaiah 43:19, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (NIV ’84)
Psalm 98:1, “Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things; his right hand and his holy arm have worked salvation for him.” (NIV ’84)
Ezekiel 11:19, “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.” (NIV ’84)
Ephesians 4:22-24, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (NIV ’84)

Obviously, I can’t change the windows in my house, but I can change the windows in my soul. Take my eyes and look at some things about myself from different angles and really challenge myself to grow. Change. Develop.

See things about myself that need to be replaced, need some attention, or need to be enjoyed more.

During this next month I’ll be writing about some new views and maybe you’ll find some ways you want to challenge yourself as well.

Here’s the one I’ll be tackling in tomorrow’s blog:

What kind of problem responder am I?

The old view- focusing on the obstacle

The new view- focusing on the opportunity

I think this “new view” is going to be fun and enlightening. And of course I’ll throw in a few surprises as well. So, who’s in? Leave a comment below about one new view you’d be willing to attempt this year and I’ll pick a few of your topics to tackle as well.

Happy New Year! Happy New View!

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Merry Christmas

This Christmas as we gather around the table, our family prayer is that your life may be enriched by the powerful reality of who Jesus is and the sweet gift of His saving grace.

…at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth.

PHILIPPIANS 2:10

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A Beautiful Collection Of Prayers

Nearly a week has passed since tragedy struck Sandy Hook Elementary School in

Newtown, Connecticut. In the coming weeks the world will return to life as usual,

but for many time has stopped.

These families need our continued prayers. I thought on this little blog space today

we could pray together.

Here is one of the prayers I’ve written…

Sweet Jesus, we come to You broken-hearted for the families and friends in

Newtown, Connecticut. We have no words, only tears. So, we turn to Your

Word… “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” Matthew

5:4 (NIV).

Oh God, comfort them. Hold them close. Restore hope. Lavish Your most

tender mercies upon every soul weeping in the midst of this deep sorrow.

We ask this in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I would like to invite you to leave your own prayer in the comments below. Your

comments will be a beautiful collection of heart-felt prayers helping to carry the

deep grief of others to our Comforter, our God.

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How Do I Pray For The Families Of Sandy Hook?

There are things mommies aren’t ever supposed to find.

They aren’t supposed to find themselves in a firehouse frantically looking for their child. They aren’t supposed to find their child’s name on a list of those who won’t be coming home. They aren’t supposed to find a dress to wear to their child’s funeral.

They aren’t supposed to turn their calendar and find a date circled for the birthday party they were supposed to be planning next month. The one that won’t be.

Or walk to the mailbox and find their child’s dentist appointment reminder card. The receptionist forgot to pull that one out.

Or find a book they know their child would love. Only half way to the check out counter they remember, they’re gone.

They aren’t supposed to find these things.

They aren’t supposed to find that grieving for a child is like navigating a path with chasms so wide their continued steps seem impossible. Terrifying. Hopeless.

I know these chasms. I watched my mom stare at them. I saw her wish she could fall in them and never have to take another painful step. I wept over everything she found reminding her my sister was gone.

That’s how I know what God would have me pray right now. For the families of the loved ones that lost so much last Friday. But especially for the mommies.

The mommies that even right now are finding things no mommy should have to find.

I want my prayers to slip into those chasms and somehow fill them. I am asking God to show me. Make me aware of the specific things those mommies might find in the months to come. When the black dresses are hanging in the closets. The media has packed up and gone home. The cards stop coming. The neighbors are back to normal.

And in the quietness of her own grief that mommy finds something. Something that breaks her heart all over again. And in that space of pure grief, she feels horrifically alone.

Please Lord, let my prayers go there. Prick my heart to fill that chasm with layers of prayers from my mommy heart. Let me take the deep grief of that moment so she doesn’t have to be so alone.

Though she won’t see me or hear my prayers, may she feel an unexplainable sense of Your presence. And know. You.

That’s what I pray she does find. You. With her. Comfort. Peace. Healing. Hope.

Oh God, show us how to pray.

“Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off,” Proverbs 24:14.

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Let’s Talk About You

Good morning my bloggy friends!

I hope that your Christmas preparations are bringing you joy and that you’re finding many things to be thankful for this holiday season.

As for me, I’m thankful for a husband who doubles as a Christmas light connoisseur. There’s nothing I love more than coming home to a house trimmed with white Christmas lights – if you want a little chuckle, read about the Christmas lights debacle of 2008 here.

If you’ve been following me here for any amount of time, you know that I love to write about the things that God is teaching me. I pray that He has spoken to you through my struggles and lessons learned as well.

With this is mind, let’s continue our learning journey. We set off to make imperfect progress together, and I want to stay the course with you.

I hope you feel the same, whatever you’ve faced this year. 



As 2012 comes to a close, I’m beginning to look forward to a new year. A fresh start. And a chance to get back into the swing of things as I connect more and more with you here on my blog.

I think the best way to do that is to hear from you today. I want to know you better, as well as the issues that we can conquer together.

So would you mind tucking a little note from you in the comments below? Here are some things I’d love to know…

- Tell me a little bit more about you. Are you a student, single friend, mom, a wife, a grandmother?

- What is an area of your life that you want to focus on improving this year?

- Why do you read my blog?

- How many times a week do you wish I’d post?

- What would a completely perfect day look like to you?

Feel free to answer just some or all of these questions. I can’t wait to read your comments!

I have a feeling that 2013 just might be our best year yet.

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Thank You!

Last week I posted a blog about God’s calling to give. A calling to break outside of our comfort levels of generosity.

I even shared my own hesitations about giving above and beyond.

But God has challenged me to trust Him fully, and to watch Him move.

I was blown away to watch God move through your generosity. I asked you to join me by investing in Proverbs 31 Ministries and you responded in a big way.

I want to sincerely thank everyone who has made a donation to Proverbs 31 Ministries. The life change that we see every day is possible because of your obedience in giving.

It is with unwavering faith that I say His hand is on every penny that we receive. We are beyond excited to see the opportunities and blessings that God will multiply through your generosity.

Below is a video message from some of the staff at Proverbs 31 and me. I pray that it makes you smile. For email subscribers click here to see the video.

If you missed last week’s opportunity to invest in Proverbs 31 Ministries please click here.

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Will You Join Me?

The past two weeks at church I’ve heard amazing messages about generosity. The kind of messages that linger… entangle themselves around your heart … and rise to the surface of your thoughts often.

Pastor Robert Morris visited our church and changed the way I look at giving.

I consider myself a generous person. But in my early childhood I knew the pain of not having enough. Wondering how the bills would be paid. Fearing the checkbook balance.

So, I’ve been hesitant to be fully generous. The kind of generous where the only way to fill the gap between what I’m comfortable giving and what I feel God calling me to give is sheer trust that I’m hearing God correctly.

A million “what if’s” nag at my mind telling me to pull back my hand from offering too much. Other people can be that generous. Not me. Not with 5 kids – 2 in college and 2 more heading that way.

But then I clearly feel the tug to do what only makes sense if God Himself tells me to do it. Open my hand. Fill my world with trust. Bigger trust. Mighty trust. The kind of trust I know would please God.

I feel Him speaking into the depths of my soul … “I own it all. I’m not asking you to give Me ‘your’ money. I’m asking you to return what’s mine and watch Me move.”

And oh how I ache to see the evidence of Him move in my life. It’s my deepest desire. It’s what I want more than anything else.

With this stirring still fresh, I challenged my office staff at P31 to go through our humble space and look for things to give away.

Although we were in great need, I heard in the message “It has to be given away to be multiplied.” God challenged me – “What can you give away in the midst of your need?”

And I knew God was saying “Get it all in order. Every bit of everything I’ve entrusted to you … get it in order and position yourself to give generously without hesitation or reservation.”

We had some things we had talked about consigning… things like fichus trees, bookshelves, and flower arrangements from past conferences. But God challenged me “What can you give?” And I knew…

Give.

Later that afternoon, I was in a meeting when one of my staff members came in with a huge smile. She held out a letter telling us we’d received an anonymous grant from a foundation in Texas for over $3,000. That’s a huge gift for our ministry. And it’s probably ten times the amount of the total we’d given away that day.

It was as if a dam broke in my soul. Not because of the money God provided. That was a blessing to my ministry for sure. But it wasn’t all about the money. It was about seeing God move. And my trust deepening. And my heart softening. And my hands opening.

This week and next, Proverbs 31 Ministries needs to raise what feels like an overwhelming amount.

My personal life has been touched and changed by God through Proverbs 31 Ministries. He has helped build my home and as a thank offering I want to help build Proverbs 31 Ministries. There are some big needs. But please know that I don’t pull a salary from Proverbs 31 Ministries. I just want to help the ongoing efforts of reaching women every day.

The specific ministry area I want your help with is the $100,000 it takes to fund our free daily devotions we offer to over 500,000 women daily and our radio ministry that reaches millions of women daily.

As the leader of this ministry I know God is calling me to lead the way in giving. So, I will match every dollar given today through the ministry’s donation page.

I’ll also be calling as many of you as possible today to personally thank you.

If you have any questions please email Lori@Proverbs31.org.

With a heart full of trust I humbly ask you to join me by clicking here and making a donation to Proverbs 31 Ministries.

With much love and appreciation, Lysa

** Thank you to all who entered to win copies of the books and CDs we gave away last week. The winners will be contacted today by e-mail.

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Week Of Giveaways Grand Finale

Happy Friday! I hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving with your friends and family.

I also hope that you’ve managed to escape the bargain-hunting crowds today. I was not going anywhere near Target, for fear of being trampled.

But then I just had to go.

I survived. I got a deal. And all is well.

To end my week of giveaways, I want to offer you a chance to win some copies of three books written by my dear friends Karen Ehman, Lynn Cowell, and Tracie Miles.

Karen’s book, Let. It. Go: How To Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith

Description: The housework. The meals. The kids. Many women are wired to control. But trying to control everything can be exhausting, and it can also cause friction with your friends and family.

This humorous, yet thought-provoking book guides you as you discover the freedom and reward of living a life “out of control,” in which you allow God to be seated in the rightful place in your life.

Lynn’s book, His Revolutionary Love: Jesus’ Radical Pursuit of You

Description: (Book for young girls/teenagers) Look inside and discover Jesus’ radical pursuit of you. Loaded with real stories from real girls, His Revolutionary Love:

- Declares how crazy Jesus is for you

- Helps you replace loneliness, rejection, and pain with revolutionary relationship, acceptance, and grace

- Challenges you to make decisions based on the right kind of love, not what feels right in the moment

Tracie’s book, Stressed-Less Living: Finding God’s Peace in Your Chaotic World

Description: Stressed-Less Living unpacks the truth found in Scripture about how to overcome fear, anxiety, and uncertainty, and shows the stressed-out woman how she can not only survive stress, but thrive in spite of it, through faith in the promises of God.

I’m so excited to tell you about these timely books that would not only be a great investment for yourself, but would also make wonderful gifts for friends.

Today, I’m giving away 2 copies of each book. If you’d like to be entered to win, leave a comment below telling me which book you’re interested in and why you want to read it.

And I have even more good news! If you use a Kindle, Nook, Kobo, Apple, or Sony Reader – My book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God (eBook version), will have a special price of only $2.99 now through Monday.

Fun! Fun!

Enjoy your turkey sandwich, good deals, and precious time with family and friends. And don’t forget to leave a comment below for your chance to win free books.

All winners from this week of giveaways will be announced Monday. If you missed the other days click here and here.

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