Polly Campbell's Blog, page 37

The Power of Friendship

Just got off the phone with a good friend. We compared notes about writing assignments, commiserated about book sales, talked about her dogs and my kid and even lamented that the weather in Charlotte is too hot. The forecast where I am too cold.

That’s all. We didn’t figure out how to stop oil from spilling into the Gulf. Nor did we solve the world’s hunger crisis. I didn’t even come up with an article idea or a sure-fire way to sell my book.

But, when I got off the phone with her, I felt good. Balanced. Connected. Healthy. Happy. All that from an hour long phone call.

Why friendships matter

The Big-Wigs have long studied the power of friendship. Social connections ward off depression, boost our immune systems and foster our feelings of well-being.

I am not a scientist, but in my personal research — the occasional phone call from my friend Jodi, or a beer with Sherri or a note from Lewis — literally changes my physiology. I feel warmer inside in that little space right around my heart. I feel inspired. More creative.

Friends also buffer you against the bad. They encourage you, push you forward, problem solve, support. They tell you the truth. Sometimes they slant the truth just a teeny, tiny bit to make you feel better. Friends hold the compass to your spirit. They point you in the direction of your best self.

Like Jodi says, and her friend before, some friendships fill up your bucket, others drain it. At one time or another every friend is going to be a bucket drainer. The keepers are the ones who fill it up just as often.

I’ve got a bunch of bucket fillers in my life. I cherish them. When everything else is falling apart, these are the people who help me tape it all back together. I hope I do the same for them.

But if your life is filled with bucket drainers, or you find you’ve become the primary drain yourself, it’s time to cultivate some new, more positive and supportive relationships.

Flexing friendships

Friendships will naturally flex and shift, says Irene Levine, author of Best Friends Forever and an expert on these things. The average friendships last about seven years. And often friendships need room to grow and change and end. It’s healthy and normal for some relationships to end and to form new friendships.

It takes time and patience, Levine says. But friendships often form out of your own interests. When you’re taking a class on a topic your passionate about, or working out you’re likely to meet people who have shared interests. Be open to the possibility. Be accessible. Take an interest. Let the friendship develop. Perhaps, it will turn into something lasting – or not.

Yet, even those casual connections have value. They remind us that we are not alone in this world. We are all connected and ultimately, that’s good for everyone.

Connecting to the Good Stuff: Work That Inspires, Uplifts

I’m not a super social person. I’m pretty much happy typing away alone at my desk or reading my books. But, the relationships I have with my family and a few close friends make all the difference in how well I live this life.

Big wigs tell us it’s our relationships – our friendships, marriages and partnerships – that sustain us. There is plenty of research that shows social connection helps our heart, our immune function, our mental health. One study from the University of California, San Francisco even indicates that 59 percent of the people who report feeling “sometimes lonely” experience a faster physical decline — the sort that can make it hard for them to handle eating, bathing, dressing and other basic tasks.

But you don’t need research to know the value of a meaningful connection with friends or family. Just ride the wave of good feelings you get after a dinner with the girls or a date-night with your spouse. Experience the buzz that comes when after you’ve watched a game with the guys or had a long dinner with good friends or received a bear-hug from your child.

Not only do we feel better when we reach out to others we connect to something bigger: shared passions and purposes. We create a collective energy that can inform, illuminate, inspire and in a real way change the world.

I’ve recently been swept up in a modern-day form of connection via the Internet. I’ve been “tagged” by another writer  and asked to share a bit about my work, before “tagging” others. The opportunity prompted me to reach out to writers I otherwise wouldn’t have known. It’s an interesting way to network.

While, the popularity of social media and the Internet does not change our need to experience other human beings face-to-face — we are social creatures who need in-person relationships is to thrive – it has brought a variety of people and ideas in to my life that have broadened my experience and made life more interesting. I do appreciate that.

So, I took the tag, and will use it to pass along the names of other authors I believe have something meaningful and important to share with all of us. They are doing good, inspiring work that is worth checking out.

So here we go.  Now you are also connected.

Tag, You’re It

Be sure to check out the work of Karen Horneffer-Ginter. She tagged me for this Q&A and her new book Full Cup Thirsty Spirit:  Nourishing the Soul When Life’s Just Too Much” (Hay House) explores  how we can use wisdom and humor stay connected to what matters most even as our lives become full and busy.

Also check out the work of Susyn Reeve, www.susynreeve.com , author of a fabulous book, which I’ve posted about on this site, called The Inspired Life:  Unleashing Your Mind’s Capacity for Joy; and the award-winning Choose Peace and Happiness.

Susyn is a self esteem expert who as a teen wrote in her journal, “What would the world be like if everyone loved themselves?”  During her 35 years of experience as a Coach, Corporate Consultant and InterFaith Minister this question has guided her work.

Carole Brody Fleet is another author worth reading. She’s the award winning author of “Happily EVEN After…” (Viva Editions) and the critically praised national bestseller, “Widows Wear Stilettos…” (New Horizon Press). A regular contributor to The Huffington Post and a recent winner of the Books for a Better Life Award for“Happily Even After…” To learn more about Carole Brody Fleet, please visit www.widowswearstilettos.com.

As for me, Polly Campbell, here’s an update on my newly released books.

1) What is the working title of your current book?

I’ve got a couple of books out.  “Imperfect Spirituality: Extraordinary Enlightenment for Ordinary People, (Viva Editions) and How to Reach Enlightenment, (Hodder).

2) Where did the idea come from?

Imperfect Spirituality really evolved out of a time of transition in my life. I’d just had a new baby, cut back on my work – which obviously changed our finances – and was diagnosed with melanoma. I had to find a way to reconnect with myself, my inner essence, even though life around me was crazy and busy and scary. So, I adapted my mindfulness and meditation practice and other little strategies that I’d long used to manage my stress so that I could maintain these practices even while changing diapers, and while commuting to the doctor’s office or doing the dishes.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

Self-help/Inspirational

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Oh, I so often feel like my life is a sitcom – but a movie, um maybe Meryl Streep would play me, because she can make anything seem good. Right? Kristin Chenoweth maybe because she’s intense and energetic. Wouldn’t that be fun? Really, I think any woman who is juggling and doing and living and loving could step into a role of Imperfect Spirituality. It’s really about engaging in life, accepting your flaws AND talents and living a whole life with what you’ve got.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

How to find happiness and calm, smack-dab in the middle of a busy and stressful life.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Imperfect Spirituality was published by Viva Editions and editor extraordinaire Brenda Knight. Agent Neil Salkind represented me.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft?

I’d been developing the book – in various forms – for a couple of years. I wrote the book in three months.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

My book is filled with humor and a no-nonsense, direct, and conversational style like that you’d find in books by Anne Lamott or Martha Beck. But I’ve read hundreds of inspirational personal development books and have learned something from each.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

I was facing a series of transitions in my life AND talking with my girlfriends who were experiencing their own changes and dissatisfaction. All were left with this profound feeling that they weren’t enough. They weren’t doing enough, they couldn’t do “it” right, they weren’t measuring up to some ambiguous ideal. They just felt inadequate. After years of interviewing the big wigs for my magazine work and decades of studying and practicing my own spirituality, I decided we needed to let ourselves off the hook and find a way to accept where we are and who we are– wholly with our imperfections and our gifts. Then, we could get down to the business of living our best life. The practices I used to do it, are practical in the –moment things that I can do while washing dishes, shuttling kids or even between work deadlines. The book evolved out of all of this.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?

This book is filled with everyday examples from my own life, stories of others who are encountering challenge and thriving, and the latest research about things we can do to enjoy this whole, crazy, busy life experience. It’s a conversation really, including humor and practical tips of the sort you’d get during a visit with your friends. But, it’s also full of three-minute practices things you can do right now to feel better, to become more aware, to live a happier, less stressed life. And, I know they work, because I use them too!

How to Move Into the Moment — NOW

Living in the present moment, can be exhausting — at first. But it gets easier with practice and  then life just becomes so much better.

In the present,  big-time experiences become bolder,  and anxiety-producing situations become puzzles to solve rather than problems threatening to derail you. Life overall becomes more interesting, and engaging.

When you become present you become a part of your life rather than a spectator watching it.

Imagine hugging your child without any thought of all the homework she has or what you must cook for dinner. You are just wrapped up by those little arms and the loving energy. Soaking it in fully, for just a second.

Imagine, caressing your face as you wash the day off it before bed every night and feeling your skin and your essence and the warmth of the water – in that single moment. Or becoming present to the water you drink. Feel its cool as it rolls down your throat. Appreciate its life-giving qualities. Just for those few seconds as you drink, you experience that and only that.

Being present is really about savoring each experience. And, not only does it ease stress, but it also promotes clarity. Instead, of getting thrown by problems or troubles then, you experience them as a quiet observer not in terms of what might happen, but in small fragments, piece by piece as what is happening now. This ends overwhelm.

For example, when you sit down to pay the bills, you are focused solely on writing the checks, or inputting the account numbers to cover the electric, you are present to only that, instead of ruminating about the Visa bill at the bottom of the pile that you don’t know how to pay.

This present-moment focus offer clarity and calm, which allows you to make better decisions and take targeted action one moment at a time instead of flooding your body with worry and stress that stifles you and keeps you upset and stuck.

So, how can you move into the present?

Four tips that will help you tune in to the moment — NOW.

Become mindful. Several times during the day, practice present-moment awareness by pausing long enough to notice the sensations in your body, aspects of your environment, any thoughts passing through. Don’t judge the experience just notice.


Notice and name the small stuff. Pay attention to the details. The colors and textures, and sounds.  Every time you take on a routine task, slow down long enough to notice something new about it. Give it a name.


Lead with your senses. Pay attention to the information your body is bringing in. Then, expand the experience by relying solely on an under-utilized sense. If you are used to “looking” at the world, close your eyes next time you walk in a familiar (and safe) place and experience the environment through your ears, nose and fingertips. Next time you have music blaring, plug your ears and seek out the vibration, or dance in the silence.


Hear those inner voices. Our thoughts can run away with us, but not if we notice. Stop to listen to the inner voice. Hear what it says and the tone it uses. Don’t judge and certainly don’t you start believing it. Just notice. When we pay attention to how we are talking to ourselves we become witness to our experience.

Present-moment living can ease stress and heighten experience, but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t sustain the practice every moment of every day. Just try one (or all) of these exercises for a five minutes a day, every day and soon it will become easier and more fascinating to be in the now. Then, you’ll discover that life opens in a way you’ve never noticed and becomes a fun and bold adventure.

 

 

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The “Small Stuff” Can Help You Become Present in a Big Way

I love the smell of that first cup of morning coffee when I pull the mug up to my lips for the first sip. I like too, the feel of the old leather bound journal I’m using. It inspires me every time I pick it up. And, when I see the smallest of the small love notes, a tiny heart surrounded by “I love you mom” scrawled by a six-year-old’s hand I feel that I’ll explode with gratitude.

These are the small things. These are the things that we should be noticing. This is where life is.

Course, as the saying implies, we shouldn’t “sweat the small stuff.” Worry is worth nothing. But, when we can notice all those little details – become aware of them – we become present to our life.

This is an active state. Worry is when we are stuck in what-iffing. Wondering what might happen, stressing about hypotheticals. Stalled.

But, when you are present to the moment, really in it, aware of the details and sensations, you aren’t worrying about what might happen. You don’t have time, you are too engaged by what is happening. You are fully alive.

Imagine, all the energy you would have to handle what is happening now if you stopped worrying about what might happen later.

Noticing the small stuff is a way to become present to what is and release the stress of what might be. Not only does life become bolder this way – really, when you are “in the now” as modern-day-sage’s call this state —  the way you physically experience your environment is brighter, richer, more vivid.

On Wednesday, I’ll suggest some practices to help you step into the present moment. For now, just start by noticing the details that make up your life.

 

Clean Out the Mental Clutter and End the Self Sabotage

With spring just a week away, it’s time for a little spring cleaning. But, this time when you sort through the closet and clean out the drawer, tossing out all the worn items or things you no longer need, take a minute to also clean out that mental clutter that’s keeping you from enjoying your life.

We all get bogged down, stuck in the same ol’ routine, the thought patterns that sabotage our success. Here are some ways to clean up and let go of the thoughts that are cluttering up your brain and lighten up this spring.

1. Pay attention to those inner voices. Notice how you talk to yourself. If it’s negative and degrading, if you beat yourself every time you make a mistake, that clutter needs to be cleaned out. It will only keep you stuck in a track of self-sabotage. The way you talk to yourself determines whether you’ll soar or sink. Notice it and take a more positive, compassionate approach.

2. Reconcile your actions and desires. If you talk like you want to lose weight but you fill your cupboards with sweet treats you are sabotaging your success and creating a whole lot of stress in your life. We feel bad when we aren’t true to ourselves, when what we say does not align with what we do. So, let’s clean out that bad habit. Start by deciding what you really want (it’s o.k. to pick the sweets over the weight loss if that’s truly what you want) – get clear on it –  then clean out the mental and physical clutter that doesn’t support the goal.

3. Become a creator, not a complainer. If it seems like you are never getting ahead, or you start out with great intentions only to fall short on your goals, spring is the time to release from that kind of self-sabotage. Take a look at the things that aren’t working, the things you are always complaining about and decide to create a new experience this time around.

For example, me complaining about being worn down and tired all the time, only added to my fatigue. So, I decided to create a different experience. I began exercising more regularly and started going to bed a bit earlier and I felt better. Look for the ways you can create a new, positive experience in your life instead of complaining about the old one.

4. Do something for someone else. Nothing clears out the mental cobwebs like helping someone else. When you feel like you are stuck in a rut, do something to help someone else and you’ll be reminded just how powerful you are and what a positive difference you make in the world.

5. Act spontaneously. I’m not kidding when I say I have to plan to be spontaneous, but it feels exhilarating and interesting and fun to wake up in the morning without a plan.

Schedule some time to just go with the flow and enjoy whatever comes your way. Novelty awakens our imagination, inspires our creativity, helps us solve problems, and really helps us look at our familiar routine a new way. And, that is good for getting clear and cleaning the mental blocks that can get you down.

 

 

Clean Out the Closet and Ease Your Stress

For the last year, I’m embarrassed to say, my nemesis was a closet in the hallway.

The one where the dishtowels were folded and then jammed between a file box and the wall, below the children’s Motrin, which was next to the paper plates, of course, and the and the nail polish and the blender with the thermometer balanced on top.

The closet became a catch-all for just about anything the people living here didn’t feel like putting away. Need to clean up? Stick it in the closet.

At one point, I could open the door and have things tumble out on top of me. I got a bruised pinky once when the turkey-shaped candle holder (just what everyone needs) connected with my knuckle.

Over time, I became haunted by that closet. It became a source of stress and frustration. An energy drain. That changed that when I finally and decisively cleaned out the clutter.

Clearing clutter feels better

Now, months later, I’m not exaggerating when I say, that every time I open that newly organized closet I feel uplifted. Great! even. Course this is also an indication of how mundane my life has become, but having a closet that doesn’t fight back, just feels good.

Physical clutter has a real impact on our mental health. It can be a symptom of depression, a sign that we don’t have the energy or desire to do anything let alone clean our house. We can also become overwhelmed by our own disorganization and that can keep us from doing other, healthier things.

It’s tough for example, to go on a bike ride with your kid if you can’t even find the bike in a messy garage. Too much clutter on a desk can limit our productivity – because we are distracted or unable to find the information we need efficiently. And the stress of a cluttered environment drains our energy.

Here are some ways to get that closet cleared and clean up some of the clutter in your own life.

Consider why clutter is occurring. Are you shopping too much to numb emotional pain? Are you over-committed and feeling pressed for time so that you don’t have time to put things back in an organized manner? Are you feeling overwhelmed by the job and other elements of your life so nothing really ever seems to get done? Are you feeling tired and drained so that you don’t have the energy to clean things out.

Clutter can be the result of many emotions. Figure out which factors might be contributing to the disorganization and get support and help if needed. If you think the clutter could be a symptom of some larger mental health issues, a therapist can help you work through some of the pain and blocks.

Pick one to work on. Of course I have other closets and drawers to sort out here, but most are organized compared to the one in the hall that spit stuff out at me every time I opened it. So, pick one job – the one that is causing you the most angst and get going. Once you get started, the rest of the mess seems easier to deal with.

Set aside a time. The Saturday morning that I cleaned the closet became a holiday around here. I scheduled the time, had a plan, and boxes and bins and garbage cans at the ready. My commitment was to keep working until it was done and when I staked out the time, I blazed through the chore in record time.

Get organized to organize. Ready your gear: garbage bags, storage bins for the things you’ll move out, a box for the stuff you’ll give to charity and containers to store the stuff that is going back in the closet or cupboard. This makes the job so much easier, because as you pull things out, you’ll have a place to put it.

Celebrate the organization. I love opening that door and noting my handiwork. The closet is now easy to use and no longer a risk to my physical health. Seriously, I feel so happy every time I look inside that I celebrate the organization. That, has helped me to keep it clean and even gotten me excited about the next de-clutter cleaning project – the garage anyone?

Eliminating the physical clutter can ease the stress, for sure, but still leave us with plenty of mental clutter that threatens our success. Wednesday, we’ll talk about how to rid ourselves of the mental cobwebs and grit.

 

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Five simple ways to help us think better

Neural pathways are like highways in the brain. They provide information flow and response by creating routes throughout the nervous system. The routes that we use more frequently, to sustain habits or perform repeated tasks, feel more comfortable because the signals travel along well-established pathways.  Signals flash through them easily like cars racing down the autobahn.

But, what we’re should be after are ways to stimulate new connections, to develop new neural pathways that will expand our brain, enhance our cognition, creativity and overall well-being.

Creating these new connections though can feel more like fighting through brush along a new mountain trail rather than speeding down the autobahn – after all our brain is expanding into new territory and finding new routes. With time, those pathways become smoother and more familiar, but the ongoing process of creating new brain connections can be interesting and enlightening.

Here are five ways to foster cross-talk in the brain and start building new neural pathways.

1. Use your non-dominant side. Move the mouse to the other side of your desk, hold your phone to your non-dominant ear, (seriously, we all have a favorite ear) sign your name with the opposite hand. This feels awkward sure, but is a good way to create new connections.

2. Move eyes back and forth. In a study led by Elizabeth Shrobe shifting your eyes back and forth for 30 seconds was shown to boost creativity by encouraging cross-talk between the brain’s hemispheres.

3. Blaze a new path. Change how you physically move through your life and it will change your brain. Drive home a new way from work. Move the furniture around, try a new exercise, hop on your non-dominant foot, sit in a new spot and look at the world from a new perspective. We are creatures of habit because habits come easy, they are familiar, but they do not help us grow. Do familiar things a new way and you’ll create greater connections.

4. Be unpredictable. Buy new foods at the grocery store, or cook the regular ingredients a new way. Travel – or at least get out of the hood every once-in-awhile. Try something you’ve never done. Read a book from a different genre. Learn a new language. Try things that stretch you a bit and you’ll be stretching your brain too and have a richer life experience.

5. Sharpen your senses.  Taste food with your eyes closed. Spend an hour listening and intuiting, but not talking. Close your eyes and walk around your house or outside (in a safe place or with a companion for safety) and relate only through your sense of smell and hearing. Many of us pull most of our information through our sight – literally how we look at the world influences how we live in it – but when we challenge ourselves to interact with the world through other, often under-utilized senses, we strengthen and cultivate new neural pathways.

I tried this exercise this a.m. by sniffing my way around the house. It was a fascinating  – and at times smelly — experience. When you try this one or any of these practices life become a bit bolder and more interesting, and you’ll even feel your brain getting stronger.

 

 

Cross-talk can fire up our brain function

About a year ago, I mixed things up around her. In a big way. Well, sort of. I mean it felt like a big way. I moved my computer mouse from the right side of my desk, where it could be easily reached by my dominant right hand, to the left side of my desk.

For about a week, I habitually reached out, first, with my right hand, to grab the mouse. When I remembered it wasn’t there, my left hand flopped around trying to corral the mouse until it could grab tight and move it in way so herky jerky that the cursor leapt all over the page.

Within a month (a long, hard month, where I constantly had to remind myself not to reach over and cheat with my right hand) though, the whole thing became much smoother. Now I have no problem operating the mouse with my left hand. In fact, just the other day, I tried to operate the mouse again with my right hand and the struggle started all over. That’s a sure sign that I need to move the mouse.

Switching things up, moving out of the familiar routine, is awkward to say the least. But, it gets the brain talking and that’s what I’m after.

I want those two hemispheres to chatter amongst themselves to form new neural pathways and cross-talk can help make that happen, according to the big wigs.

Defining cross-talk

Cross-talk occurs when one side of the brain sends out signals to control movements on the other side of the body. So, the left brain sends signals to move the right side of the body. The right brain gets the left side going. When the hemispheres are talking, it’s a good thing for our brain.

When we do things differently, when we move out of the familiar, we not only stimulate cross-talk but we create new neural pathways that expand our brain function.

Why cross-talk matters

Studies show this kind of signal relay enhances our creativity and problem solving abilities. It helps us to become more flexible thinkers – which is good for resilience — and can even help us solve math problems, according to a joint study between the University of Texas, Duke University, and the University of Michigan.

To get this kind of inner-brain communication going then,  mix up the old routine a bit. Move your mouse, shift the furniture around, brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand and start up the cross-talk. You’re bound to get some toothpaste on your cheek, but your brain will be better for it.

On Wednesday, I’ll share some other ways to get the brain talking to expand those neural pathways and enhance our life experience.

 

 

Stop doing the things that thwart your success and create momentum

I have got to get off Facebook.

Seriously. I’ve got a long, to do list and plenty of other things I want to do: exercise, draft a post, market my book – that will actually move me closer to my goals and passions, but I have got to get off Facebook to do it.

So, what’s holding you up? Part of being successful and achieving the things you desire is to stop doing the things that keep you from it. We talk a lot about inspired action and things we must do to move ahead. But, sometimes the very best thing you can do to edge closer to your goals and positive feelings is to STOP doing the thing that is detracting from your progress and well-being.

We want to lose weight. So we plan to exercise, and buy healthy foods. But we must also stop eating unhealthy snacks for any of it to matter.

Want to have more money in the bank? Sure it helps to create revenue streams and invest your money wisely, but you must also STOP spending more than you earn.

Try it today.

Take a minute and think about a goal that you want to achieve, something big or small.


Consider five things you must do to accomplish that goal. Again, think practical and out of the box.


Now, list one thing that may get in the way of those five steps you must take to achieve your goal.

That one thing is a barrier to your success. Now you know it and you can develop a strategy to cope with it before it derails you.

What will you do instead to keep from hopping on Facebook or indulging in the counter-productive behavior that keeps you from completing your goal?

Studies show we do better when we focus on the positive behavior we’ll adopt rather than the thing we need to quit, so think about it this way: Commit to spending more time writing, rather than less time Facebooking; or focus on eating only healthy foods, rather than quitting the junk food binge and you’ll make more progress.

Then, develop a strategy, so that when you do feel compelled to Facebook instead of say writing the article that’s due in an hour (maybe, hypothetically, of course, sort of) you’ll have another, more positive way to channel your energy before you go off the tracks completely.

By cutting back on the bad habits and choosing a new powerful go-to behavior instead, you’ll gain momentum and accomplish your goals.

 

 

Discover the habits holding you back and attract success

Bad habits. We’ve all got’em. Things that keep us from our best selves, sabotage our success, or just keep us lazing on the couch when we could be doing something more interesting and fun.

Teacher and author Judith Wright calls them Soft Addictions.

Psychotherapist Terry Real labels them as misery stabilizers.

For me, these are the little soul-sucking behaviors that devour our energy and become obstacles en route to creating the life that we actually want to live. Now, make no mistake, I’m a fan of couch sitting and Web surfing and other seemingly innocent behaviors that help us lighten up and relax. But, the problem occurs when we let them take over the time we could be using to explore our passions or pursue our dreams. When we use these habits to numb our experience rather than exploring our lives or our discomfort or uncertainty, they become saboteurs.

Here is how it works: We’re drained and dissatisfied after work so we have a couple of glasses of wine each night.

Communication in our relationship seems hard so we sit and zone out together in front of the television after the kids are in bed instead of working through our communication challenges.

Or, we’re feeling bored, so we go shopping – again – instead of exploring a new interest or reaching out to a friend or drawing something else into our life that is inspiring, uplifting and meaningful.

In every case, the behavior, or bad habits we choose numb us from the emotion and keep us from looking at its root cause. So, each day that we use a habit to numb our experience, we are also staying stuck in the pattern of pain and sabotaging our success — often without even realizing it.

Difficult emotions help us stay on track

Emotions give us a hint when we’re on track in our lives, or not. When we are on purpose we often feel the energy if flow. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, there is a reason behind that too. And that is worth exploring. Don’t dip into the bad habit to ease the pain, instead spend time with the discomfort, identify its source and slowly began to replace the habits you’ve used to hide it with new things that fill you up, leave you feeling energized, and on target toward your ultimate dreams and desires.

After all, one of the keys to success is to do more of the behaviors that support your best life and less of the ones the suck your energy dry.

So, what’s going on when you feel uncomfortable and revert to a bad habit? When do you overeat, or over shop, or surf the Web instead of working out or spending time with your family or pursuing a passion?

Identify those prompts and for the next couple of days, just be open to paying attention when they show up. On Wednesday, we’ll talk about how to stop doing the behaviors that are sabotaging your greatest success by replacing them with something that fills you up and drives you forward.

 

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