Polly Campbell's Blog, page 27

When it is Time to Quit

Perseverance is a prized quality in this culture. It’s also an aspect of grit and resilience and helps us overcome the tough stuff to develop greater well-being.

But, when we are persisting at the wrong things – the unachievable goal, the insurmountable obstacle, or some other outcome that others want for us – that kind of dogged determination can actually make us sick.

When You Should Give it Up

Research by Gregory Miller Ph.D at the University of British Columbia shows that the pursuit of an unachievable goal causes intense stress, which comes with a bunch of health risks. It can also keep us from creating greater success and meaning in our lives.  While we revere the underdog who never gave up on his goals, persisting with no measurable progress, might be a dumb thing to do.

Once you quit, you can then channel your abilities and talents into something you are passionate about. It doesn’t mean the road won’t be filled with challenge, but when you face those obstacles you will be more likely to adapt and persist in a healthy way rather than one that strips you bare.

How to Quit

This isn’t to say you give up on your life’s plan to have a child, run a marathon, climb a mountain, become an astronaut —  for a life of laying on the couch watching reality television.

But when you do recognize that the thing you’ve been after all these years isn’t going to happen, it’s time t disengage — let go —  and pick a new pursuit.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Identify the aspects of the initial goal that excited or inspired you. What was it about that goal that got you moving in the first place?

2. Consider other goals or activities that share those qualities.

3. Develop a new goal, one that aligns with your values, desires, passions. One that adds meaning to your life.

4. Quit the first goal. Let go. Walk away. Disengage. Describe your feelings about the end of this pursuit in your journal. Or write the reasons you are giving up on this goal on a sheet of paper and burn in a fire as a symbolic way of letting go. Mourn the end. Also, identify the positive things you gained from the process.  What you learned will carry you over into your next pursuit. This was not wasted time.

5. Now write down your new goal and take one step toward achieving it.

It isn’t easy to give up on anything. But, when you replace the ongoing stress and frustration of one goal with another that excites, inspires, and motivates you to make a positive and meaningful contribution then perseverance takes on new power. Quitting becomes not an end, but the beginning of a whole new experience.

 

 

 

 

Knowing You Can Quit Helps You Persist

Last week I read a 491 page book. The first 10 pages were fine. The 30 after that slow. The rest repetitive and forgettable. I know, because I read every single world.

I am not a person who puts down a book midway through, even if it sucks seven hours from my life. I’m not a quitter. Apparently, even when it would be smarter to stop.

Sure, I thought about quitting. Giving it up. Putting it down to read another, more interesting volume. Still I kept going.

The same kind of dogged determination has been an adaptive life strategy, helping me succeed with other things. It’s kept me getting up in the morning even when my joints are stiff and swollen with arthritis. It has helped me to persevere to find a publisher for my book despite a zillion rejections and it’s been good for my relationship. It keeps me committed and working to improve even when I’m tired.

Of course, I could quit any of these things too.  I don’t have to write the book. I can blame the chronic illness for any lack of progress in my day. I could walk out on my marriage – people do it all the time. But knowing I have the freedom to give up, leave, quit, say sayonara, might actually fuel my drive to keep going.

Knowing You Can Quit Helps Us Persist

Researchers Rom Y. Schrift  from the Wharton Business School and Jeffrey R. Parker, at  Georgia State University found that we are actually more motivated to achieve a goal or overcome an obstacle if we know we can quit.

In several experiments, participants who knew they could quit a designated task, like solving a word puzzle,  tended to persist longer.  One way to motivate people then, might be a reminder that they can quit at any time.

Perhaps people persist longer because they don’t want to be labelled a quitter. In Western culture there is a big-time stigma that comes with quitting.

Yet other research shows that quitting one goal to start on another might be the smartest strategy. It often leads to greater success and contribution. When we stop investing time and energy in that one thing we’re never going to accomplish, we have more to give to the thing that matters, the thing we can achieve.

There are times for all of us, when quitting is the best course of action. I’ll share them with you on Wednesday and  provide an exit strategy to help you get moving when  it is time to go.

8 Things that Will Inspire You

Inspiration isn’t something you can will into being, but you can get out in the world and set the stage for it to show up. Being open to new experiences, hanging out with amazing people, reading uplifting stories, looking at familiar things a different way, are some of the ways you can invite inspiration into your own life.

In practical terms here’s what all that looks like for me.

1. Root for the underdog. When I see someone overcome adversity, I’m turned on and inspired. It doesn’t matter whether they win, I’m just inspired that they keep going despite tremendous adversity. I look for the underdogs and I cheer them on.

2. Get out in nature. I can sit by the ocean – heck I can simply hear it’s roar from blocks away – and be inspired. The ocean and other natural sites awaken me to the majesty of the Earth. To the vastness of the Universe. That is transcendent. Inspiration seems to like that. It plays well with awe.

3. Create a soundtrack. “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips never fails to get me going. So, there’s that. But, put together your own compilation of music that makes you move or that moves you. Play it loud and long.

4. Watch people at their best. When I am with someone who is at the peak of their performance or someone who is passionate at what they do, it motivates me to do my job better, to engage in my own life in a deeper way, to learn more. When I’m motivated, inspiration lurks. Watch the best performances on television and You Tube. Read the award winning books. Listen to speakers and authors talk about their craft. The good ones, the ones who work to master their craft and are enthusiastic about what they do will send threads of inspiration your way.

5. Work hard. There are many, many days when I sit down to write and I’m not inspired at all. But often, if I just keep going, if I just sit and work the words I’ll feel things shift. It might not be a full-blown inspiration but often it will change the constrictive energy into something more creative and then there is room for inspiration to occur.

6. Ask the opinion of a child. Kids get this stuff. My daughter is 7 and her take on the world is so open and creative and interesting that when I ask for her ideas on a subject she always realigns my perspective. Then ideas take root and inspiration? Well, you never know.

7. Listen to others. This works two ways: You can brainstorm challenges or problems with a group, or even manufacture situations like “what are some ways you can use a paper clip without using it to clip paper” and get your creative juices flowing and that can be a petri dish for inspiration.

Or, you can simply listen well to what others have to say. Pay attention to people and how they are feeling, what they are talking about. Often, in the challenges others face, or their life stories or experiences we gain insight, a new take on the world. Many a fantastic product has been inspired by hearing someone express and unmet need.

8. Look for the helpers. Fred Rogers is quoted as saying that when there is trouble, look for the helpers. People who are resilient and strong and loving who are out there helping through the muck. Seeing that kind of goodness in people, it’s hard not to be inspired.

So often we go through the paces of life and become buried in a daily routine of familiar habits and hassles. That is an inspiration killer,

But by being open to life – not judgmental or critical –  trying new things, approaching each experience with a curiosity and optimism that makes life feel more like an adventure than a chore you will create a culture of inspiration. And, the thought of that inspires me.

 

Boost the Chance for Inspiration

If you are sitting there waiting for it – that great idea, the Next Big Moment, innovation, brainstorm – chances are you won’t be inspired. But if you get up and out, if you get moving and get after it your life can be filled with inspiration and then you are bound to  find something that fires you up and gets you going. Something that inspires you.

Psychologists Todd Thrash and Andrew Elliot say inspiration is marked by three criteria:

1. It’s evoked by something – usually spontaneous.

2. It awakens us to greater possibility

3. It is motivating.

When we are inspired, we are often driven and encouraged to do something different, better, bigger. We go with the tamales over the tacos, the poulet (never) over pizza (whoo hoo!). We tend to act on the inspiration.

This is one reason inspired people are more likely to attain their goals. That, and they usually set better goals to begin with, according to researcher Marina Milyavskaya. But inspiration also opens us to broader possibilities and that prompts us  to become more creative and effective problem solvers. All this contributes to a stronger sense of meaning and well-being

Boosting the Chance for Inspiration

But, here’s the rub, inspiration is not something we can go after. It’s not something we can command or demand. The very nature of inspiration, writes psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman, is that it “is evoked spontaneously without intention.” That means the best we can do is create a culture for inspiration and trust that it will show up.

Kaufman says being flexible and open to the idea of inspiration is one way to increase the likelihood of it striking. With an approach-oriented attitude you are more likely to be out in the world, exposed to greater experiences and possibility. That’s where inspiration lies in wait.

Effort is another aspect to attracting inspiration. When you actively engage, work, learn, improve and grow your skills and abilities, you often discover inspiration in the mix.

In Wednesday’s post I’ll offer up another important way to tap into inspiration and tell you how I bring it into my life.

 

Why Aging Isn’t So Bad

I’ve never worried about aging. Maybe it’s because I’m used to the stiffness and aching joints, thanks to the rheumatoid arthritis I’ve lived with for more than 40 years.  My body has always felt old.

So getting older didn’t bother me a bit. Until I got cancer.

Then, I worried that it might not happen.  That I might not get any older.

Age doesn’t matter unless you no longer have one.

I get that there is the undeniable physical decline that comes with aging that isn’t all that dreamy. Incontinence, don’t want to do that. Loss of independence. Memory loss. Would rather not. But mostly, today, right now, I’m just hoping for the chance to get older.

The cancer has been gone for years and I’m grateful. But, to worry now about what might happen to me when I’m in my 70s, or 80s or 90s seems a little snarky, a little ungrateful. Not everybody gets that kind of time. To let the time I do have be filled with anything other than gratitude for the hair I still have, (hey, I even have a bonus one on my chin) or the people I am still able to love, the beauty I can still see — just feels a little narrow.

I am not who I was when I was 20. Certainly not in body. I’ve gained weight. I have wrinkles and stiffer joints (if that’s even possible),  glasses, and my hair is most definitely going gray now — though it’s not quite the Cruella De Vil, my daughter would have you believe.

My mental, emotional, and spiritual states have changed too.

No, I am not who I was in my 20s and 30s. Thank goodness

The Benefits of Getting Old

Now, I am older and I am also more alive. I am engaged in my life. I live with a greater awareness and compassion. I don’t take it all personally. I’ve stopped trying to impress and I’m courageous enough now, to laugh at myself, admit my messiness and mistakes. Heck, I don’t have this life thing figured out. There are days (Read: years) that I don’t do it very well. I am triggered to anger and anxiety. I’ve gotten a little too good at nagging.

But, I’m brave enough to apologize, now. I no longer lose my identity in my mistakes nor am I defined by my achievements. Though I don’t mind a little smack talk when I’m playing Words with Friends.

I’m willing to try and fail because I know I can handle it now. I have so many times before. I’ve fallen on my face literally (hellooo, movie theater parking lot) and figuratively, and I’ve learned to get back up and start again. I’m able to ask for help now too. I don’t have to do it all alone. Not always. Sometimes I’m afraid. Sometimes I’m weak. But I am more resilient and stronger than ever. Age has taught me that it’s okay to be all of that.

The Biggest Gift

But here’s the biggest thing, the biggest gift I’ve gained from getting older: I say “I love you more often.” I say it out loud. In person. On the phone. I say it by text and e-mail, on Facebook. I mean it. I’m no longer afraid to say it.

I used to be. It seemed so touchy feely and that is so not me. I was always worried that others might be uncomfortable, or perhaps the phrase felt too intimate. Or maybe they wouldn’t share the feeling and I’d feel exposed and vulnerable and rejected. Now I don’t care. Now, I say it when I feel it. No matter. I don’t even need to hear it in return.

I am all of this now, because I have lived long enough to learn how to be all of this.  Life has smacked me around a bit – like it has you. But, it has also taught me to be more of myself. To be authentic and true.

Sometimes who I am is passionate (er, my husband describes this a bit differently) and messy and inconvenient and noisy and naggy. Sometimes.

Sometimes my days feel disappointing and hard and scary and sad. Sometimes.

But other times this life is so warm, and inspiring and awesome that I have no words (which sucks for a writer). On these days my physical body can’t contain all of the good feeling so it seeps into my soul and uplifts my spirit.

Aging has colored me gray. It has slowed me up and broken me down. It’s also opened me up.

There is peace in that, and freedom too. So check out my wrinkles and my gray hair and my stiff and achy joints that show up in my drunken, wobbly gait. I am getting older by the day. For sure.

And, I am so hoping that trend continues.

Because if this is what aging is, I’m in. Sign me up for another day. Please. Or another year. Another few decades, perhaps, and I promise I’ll say I love you out loud.

 

 

Perks of Aging

 

Everywhere we look there is bad news about aging. There are also roughly a quadrillion, zillion anti-aging creams, vitamins, books and strategies to help you stop the aging process. Yet, there is only one way I know to definitively stop aging and it’s not an option I like. Bottom line: If you are lucky enough to live a bit longer, you’re gonna get older.

But there is good news about getting older too. Lots of it, actually.

While it’s true the body declines, seniors are actually among the happiest people on the planet and that’s not all.

3 Perks of Aging

1. Older people are happier people. In one study, researchers at the University of Michigan found that people in their 60s were also more empathetic (which contributes to good feelings) and better problem solvers.

Researchers in another study at Stony Brook University surveyed hundreds of thousands of Americans and discovered that people over 50 tended to be happier and less stressed than people half their age. Other research indicates that older adults are also better able to regulate their emotions. They experienced fewer low lows, less anger, and sadness, and greater happiness.

2.  Older  people tend to focus on the things that feel good.  All this happiness could be a matter of perspective and the older generation seems to have that figured out too. As we age, our perspective narrows so we are more apt to focus on the things that make us feel better or healthier instead of the things that stress us out, according to research led by Peggy St. Jacques. This allows us to reflect on the awesome things our children did, instead of the time they trashed the house during a wild party. We are more likely to appreciate the time shared with our loved one over a romantic dinner rather than get upset over the part where she nagged you to eat your vegetables.

3. Our elders really are wiser. Numerous studies show that the vast experience and insight earned from a longer life span contribute to smarter decisions. Older adults are better and evaluating the benefits of multiple options and better at “creating strategies in response to the environment,” says Darrell Worthy, of Texas A&M University, who led this study.

And there is a fourth benefit, of course, and this one is a biggie: If you are getting old it means you are still alive. That means you get one more day to smell a blooming Daphne or sip a strong cup of coffee, or watch a sunset.  That is one of the many reasons I don’t mind getting older. I’ll share with you some of the others in Wednesday’s post.

 

Six Things Not Worth Worrying About

When we were staring the potty training process with our daughter who was nearing three at the time, I was fretful. I set dates on the calendar to make our first attempt, read all kinds of information, engaged my husband in big debates about how to best approach this, this ordeal (always, said with a sigh). I was very dramatic about it all.

And I worried. I worried that it was too soon, and too late.  I worried about our approach. I worried whether it would work and how long it would take and how hard it would be.

One evening, my husband said: “Give it up. There is nothing to worry about here. She is not going to be wetting her pants when she is 16. She will get this figured out at some point.”

And she did, on her own. A week before all my carefully scheduled plans and strategies.

My husband was right of course, and he brought perspective to my world at a time when I was finding lots of things to worry about. Once in awhile, I still do ruminate, but not often. It just isn’t a productive way for me to cope and it certainly doesn’t make me feel any better.

Wonder though? That works for me. It causes me to look creatively for solutions, to gather info, to get involved. It’s an active form of coping. While worry is passive, wonder actually makes room for awe and the other good things in life.

I do still find myself worrying about my daughter and my parenting skills — it’s not smart, but it happens. Once-in-a-while I’ll stress about money. But, I’ve let a lot of other worries go and my life is easier because of it. Truth be told? When I stop worrying about things, I actually handle them more effectively. They pass on through instead of becoming sticking points in my life.

What do you worry about? Which worries can you release and replace with wonder?

6 Things I No Longer Worry About

1. What I eat. If I’m already eating it or if I’m going to eat it, worry only serves to make me feel bad. Instead, I wonder about the food I do choose and my eating style. That has made me more aware and prompted better choices.

2. How much sleep I get. I’m either sleeping or I’m not. Worry doesn’t help do anything but keep me up late at night. Wonder inspires me to find things that help me sleep.

3. What to wear.  I wear what I’m comfortable in and no longer worry what others think.

4. How gray my hair is getting. The only thing that’s gonna help this head of hair is dye. So the choice is clear: dye it, or live with the gray. No need to worry. I’m not worried about aging either. I wonder how I can stay healthy and active as I get older, but I’m not caught up in old age will bring. Just grateful to have another birthday.

5. Who likes me. Not my concern. I do wonder though, how I can be a better friend to those whom I like.

6. If I’ll continue to have work. Worry keeps me stuck. Wonder gets me hustling. As long as I’m working hard, the work will be there.

 

Choose Wonder Over Worry

I used to be a first class worrier. I’d worry about calling and not calling. I’d worry about saying no and saying yes. Am I doing this right? Am I going along or expressing myself? Will I get it done in time? Will the check come in time? Should I eat this? What if I’m under-dressed?

Then I worried about worrying.

You name it, I worried, stewed, ruminated, obsessed.

Until I just got sick of it all. Worry is so unproductive. So stifling.

When we spend time worrying, we are passively engaging in the world. We aren’t really doing anything. Worry is not constructive, it’s not creative, it’s not even solution based. It keeps us stuck in a ruminating thought pattern that actually strips our energy and leaves us feeling stressed and tired instead of working to make a difference in the very thing we are worrying about.

I heard motivational teacher Wayne Dyer say once that we cannot worry enough to change the situation, or take away the sickness or improve the relationship.

But you certainly can stop worrying and take action toward change.

Think about it. When we worry we become trapped in the very circumstance we want out of. Instead, stop worrying and become aware. Then you can get busy enacting the change you want.

Shifting From Worry to Wonder

Shift your worry to wonder. This moves us into a place of curiosity and fires up our problem-solving abilities.

Wonder prompts us to question, look at all sides of an issue, get involved.

You can even hear the difference.

Say: “I’m worried about how my kid is doing in math.”

Or, “I wonder how my kid is doing in math.”

“I’m worried about my relationship, finances, health.”

Or, “I wonder about my relationship, finances, health.”

“I worry that I can’t do this.”

Or, “I wonder how I can get this done.”

One way of thinking moves you into pattern of rumination and rote thinking. The other, prompts you to get involved. Ask questions, open to others, seek information, look at possibilities.

Wonder and Awe

When we wonder, we also begin to take a broader view of our world and this opens us up to awe – which is now, scientists say, one of the qualities that promote health and well-being.

Awe allows us to experience the vast possibility and beauty in our lives and makes us feel as though we are connected to something bigger . Our lives take on greater meaning and satisfaction, says Dacher Keltner, PhD., a psychology professor at the University of California.

Feelings of awe also increase oxytocin levels and that prompts us to want to connect and care and share with others. Ever watched a powerful performance and then sent your friend the You-Tube link so they could see it too? Ever stood in a place and marveled at the clouds and the rivers and the trees and wanted to take a loved one back to that special spot?

Awe and wonder ignite well-being by ramping up the good feelings  that inspire us to interact in a way that is more productive, creative, open. When we wonder instead of worry we actually put ourselves in position to make a difference. When we worry, we just stay stuck in the bad feeling.

Try it this week. See how you feel when you make the shift from worry to wonder. In Wednesday’s post I will offer up some of the things I no longer worry about.

 

 

Photo by Stock.xchng

Ten Times Mindfulness Will Get You Out of a Jam

In the last post, I offered quick tips to establish a mindfulness practice. Now, here are some times to take the practice for a test drive.

1. When you are feeling angry, the kid sticks something up her nose, or everyone is complaining about dinner. Yes! Enough already, right? These are the moments that can trigger us to anger or stress, which only makes a hard moment harder.  Instead, take five (I often say I’m going to grab something in the garage and I don’t come back for a bit, or I’ll just tell the fam I’m taking a time out). Pause, then take some deep breaths, and you’ll feel the stress ease, the moment will become more manageable. You’ll be responsive – able to take deliberate, positive action — instead of being reactive – an emotional response that often involves flipping out – at least for me.

2. During the commute. Before you start the car, take a deep breath, root yourself in your senses and notice what you see and feel. Then, as you drive, continue to be mindful. Don’t turn on the music or make a call, just pay attention to the drive and what you notice along the way. You’ll feel more relaxed when you arrive and you’ll be safer on the trip.

3. When you are stressing to the point of obsession. You know that niggling thought that goes something like this: I can’t-believe-I-said-that-I-wonder-if-I-should-call-back-and-explain-but-then-maybe-everybody-would-hate-me-and-oh-what-should-i-do? Anytime we have an established thought pattern playing over and over in our head, no matter how serious or trivial, mindfulness can break the pattern. Get quiet, notice the thoughts, then put your attention on breathing. Begin to notice your environment and tune in to your senses and you’ll disrupt the obsessive thoughts.

4. While waiting. In the traffic jam, at the doctors’ office, in the grocery store, for the test results – anywhere, anytime. Take a breath. Put your attention to what is there in that moment. Mindfulness makes time fly and keeps you from getting caught up in the frantic busyness of it all.

5. While eating. This is such a cool way to really enjoy and appreciate the food you eat. It also slows down the process of mealtime which is better for digestion and weight loss.  Notice how the aromas, and textures. Take a bite, feel the weight of the fork, then put it down and experience the chew. Be mindful of the flavor and feel. This makes mealtimes so much more enjoyable and studies show when we slow down to savor, our food actually tastes better.

6. When plans change. So often we get stressed out about things that might happen or bothered by what has already occurred. Don’t get caught up in that. Use mindfulness to help you become present to what is and you’ll find your anxiety dissipates.

7.  Before a presentation. Mindfulness can boost performance by taking us out of the worry pattern and sharpening our focus to what we are doing right now. That helps us move toward that zone of peak pefromance.

8. In conversation. Mindfulness is so great for relationships because it helps us to really notice and connect with each other. Next time you are talking with your partner, do nothing else. Put the phone down. Turn off the television. Tune in fully to the experience of communicating with him or her. Pay attention to sounds and gestures and expressions. Instead of focusing on what you want to say next, or judging what he is  sharing just give him your undivided attention, without interruption. We’ve all had the experience of talking with someone who made you feel like you were the most important person in the room because they focused on your every word. You can be that person with a practice of mindfulness.

9. When in pain. Pain can draw our energy and focus and make it hard to remain patient and accepting. It can be tough to even think about anything else. It intensifies our emotions and often leads to stress which only intensifies the pain. Mindfulness promotes compassion, peace, kindness, awareness; all qualities that can help us deal with our pain in more comfortable and effective way. It also helps broaden our perspective so that we can see that life isn’t all about our pain, it’s simply a sensory aspect. I’ve used this practice often to manage my rheumatoid arthritis. It’s always helped ease the difficult moments.

10. When in nature. Mindfulness — the act of deeply noticing — can enhance any experience. When you take time to pause and become fully aware while outside, you start to really see the marvels that are around you. That breeds appreciation and heightens the experience. It also leads to awe and wonder, and ultimately gratitude. These emotions not only feel good, but they are key to our well-being. Take time to notice the natural environment and you’ll feel better.

Like anything, the more often we practice mindfulness   the better we get at it and the more benefits we’ll experience. But, even five minutes a day and using the practice during this highly-charged moments can change how we experience stress and enhance the joyful moments.

 

 

Image by Stock.xchng

Mindfulness Helps Ease Overwhelm — Even on Snow Days

Mindfulness is a fine practice for the monks.

The real question is  how would it help a mama on a snow day? I put it to the test.

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention. The turn-off-the-phone-and-be-still kind of paying attention. It is not new to me. It has bailed me out many a time when I was feeling more reactive than responsive.

It eases stress, helps me find perspective and settles me down when I’m teetering near overwhelm. When I am mindful I am calmer, more creative, and more deliberate in my actions — even when cooped up during a snow storm.

It was fun for the first couple of days when my husband decided to “work” at home during the snow and ice storm that dropped nearly a foot on our hilly community. My daughter was home from school too —  only a few days after she’d been home for teacher training days, which was just a few days after she was home on a holiday. By the third snowy day with these yahoos I was pulling all kinds of things out of my bag of tricks just to get along in tight quarters.

Mindfulness was one of those tricks. It’s more practical than woo-woo. It costs nothing and it can be done just about anywhere, always.

Scores of studies have shown its benefits. Mindfulness practice eases stress, enhances focus and concentration, improves immune function and even supports more satisfying relationships. What’s not to love?

How to Start a Practice of Mindfulness

Here’s a crash course in how to do it. Wednesday, I’ll offer key times mindfulness can help make a better day.

1. Stop. Get still, get quiet. Settle down. This is a game-changer. Carving out a few minutes, or more, each day without Internet or phones or kids or conversation just to be quiet is restorative and illuminating and it’s essential to creating a practice of mindfulness.

2. Breathe and become present. Once you settle, take deep breaths from the belly and become aware and present to the sensations in your body, the things in your environment, sounds, smells, and any thoughts flying through. Just notice. Don’t judge, just become aware. The easiest way to start this process is to breath and engage with each of your five senses and your intuition. Don’t get hung up on any single idea or sentiment or sensation. Just notice.

3. Act mindfully. When you are ready to engage with the world again, do so mindfully and deliberately. Be aware of what you say and the words you choose. Notice how your body feels. Pay attention to the details within the environment.

In the beginning, you may feel flustered and unfocussed and decidedly unmindful during your sessions. You might even forget to do it. So put it in your calendar. Practice five minutes a day, make a commitment and over time it will become easier to settle. The practice then will show up to support you in all the best ways, even when you are stuck indoors during a snow day.